Peter was excited to be in his first movie. He would be a real actor, be on screen, be seen! He was going to be a star.
May was hesitant and uncomfortable with the idea of her son playing a character who endures such abuse. According to directors, putting a boy in the position of Dolores will prevent viewers from romanticizing the film and show them the true horrors of the story. The concept would indeed affect viewers, but she wasn’t so sure if she wanted her son to be the one to do it. After all, Peter was barely twelve. He wouldn’t be able to comprehend the severity of his character; he hadn’t even entered high school…but he was so excited. She could tell how much he looked forward to it, how happy he was that he was chosen. May couldn’t just take that away from him. So, instead, she caved, allowing her son to take the role with the promise that he would tell her if anything weird happened.
This is how Peter found himself on stage with Quentin Beck.
Mr. Beck was a well-known actor, playing the villain role from his favorite Spider-Man movie. He’d seen almost all his films, watched all his interviews, and read any article he could find about him. To put it simply, Beck was his idol. Working with him made him both nervous and exhilarated.
“Peter Parker, correct? My name is Quentin Beck; it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Beck smiled, offering his hand to Peter, who rapidly shook it.
“I know! You’re my favorite villain, and I’ve seen so many of your interviews-.” He stopped, embarrassed by his spill of words. “I’m so sorry. I’m a fan of your work.
I look forward to working with you, Mr. Beck.” He awkwardly smiled, desperate to erase his previous mistake.
Beck laughed and patted Peter on the shoulder. “It’s ok, kiddo. You can call me Quentin or Quen; no harm has been done. I’m assuming you’re a Spider-Man fan? If you’d like, I can show you my mysterio cape; I kept it.”
“Really!?” Peter shouted, jumping as he eagerly waited for a response.
“Yeah, of course! Let’s get to running lines, and I’ll bring it tomorrow. Does that sound good?” He asked, smiling at the boy.
Parker grinned and nodded, running to the room to prepare for their run-through. Today, they had one last rehearsal before filming. They’d practiced for days previously, but he never met Quen. All he knew was that he could not wait to see that cape. He had a lot to tell Aunt May about.
X
To say Quentin was incredible would be an understatement. He practically filled in the role of the older brother/dad he never had. He had shown Peter many cool things like his cape, boxing gloves, and even a Spiderman mask! Plus, he had helped him so much with his acting. This movie was the first one Peter had ever been cast in. He had no experience, and on occasion, it showed…but Quen helped him. Sometimes, he’d even stay after his scenes to help Peter improve, giving him tips, ideas, and advice. Peter hadn’t had much trouble acting until they got to the apple scene. Sure, he read the script and had an idea about what the film dealt with, but he didn't know they would have him do those things himself.
“Cut! Parker, come on, kid!” the director called, showing annoyance as he rubbed his temples. “I know it’s a weird scene, but you must be more relaxed. In this scene, you're not supposed to be uncomfortable; you're just playing.”
But he didn’t want to! It’s not that he hated Quen, but doing this made him feel gross and dirty. His body was actually being touched
“Hey, if it helps, remember that this is just acting. The sooner we finish this scene, the quicker we can all go home. Does that help?” Beck asked, patting Peter on the shoulder.
He nodded, frustrated that he had to actually do this. It wasn’t like the director said he'd fire him if he refused, but Peter didn't want to take any chances. This was important to his future career.
“Then let's finish this.” Beck smiled, throwing a thumbs up at the director, who called to start the scene again. “Just remember that this isn’t real. If you can get through this scene, it just shows how mature you are for your age.”
He’s always admired Beck; if being mature meant he could impress him, he would do anything to prove him right. So he acted out the scene, going on autopilot and ignoring the weird feeling of Beck touching him and the gross noises he made.
When the director called cut, announcing that this was the final scene of the day, Peter felt relieved. He couldn’t wait to go home and do anything but get touched again.
“Pete, your aunt said she will be ten minutes late. Do you want me to stay and wait for her?” Quen asked, following behind Peter, who went and sat backstage.
“Again? But she said she’d be on time.” he frowned; he just wanted to go home. “Can’t you just take me home?”
, and then spoke. “No, I can’t. I don’t know where you live; your aunt wants you to wait here. Look, I can stay and wait with you; I don’t mind. If you want, we can practice for the next big shoot.”
Peter pouted, whining as he spoke, “Ugh, but can’t you ask her?”
“Peter, I gave you two options. I’m not your dad, so I can’t do that. OK?” Quen replied with a stern look on his face.
He mentally winced, that look and those words having a sting to them. “Ok…what scene?”
“Mom and you keep fighting. She starts talking about plans for what to do with you and tells me she's sending you to camp,” Beck said, setting the scene. When you find out about this, you hit me, yada yada, and on the day you're going to camp, you run back to me and do your scene. You should know your scene, so let's go ahead and rehearse, yeah?”
Peter wanted to yell, he didn’t want to do this scene, he didn’t want to act right now. He just wanted to go home. “Why do I always have to do it? I don’t want to!” He whines, stomping his foot.
“Don’t want to? I don’t think you can improvise a line like that.” Beck replied, assuming the boy was playing his part.
“I don’t want to run lines, I’m tired,” Peter spoke, he couldn’t help but get annoyed. Everything felt too loud, his clothes felt too tight, and he was just downright overstimulated. “I want to go home and not hear anything. Everything is too loud and I hate it.”
“Peter please don’t yell. May will be here eventually ok?”
He didn’t know what to do so instead he started crying, frustrated with Beck and his aunt. Everything was overwhelming, it felt like no one understood, He was touched basically all day and everything felt wrong.
Without saying anything Beck stood up and walked away. When he returned he held a blanket and some earphones. “Here, lay down, cover yourself up, and put these on. The earphones are noise canceling.”
Peter wiped his tears, choking back sobs as he did what he was told. When he went to lie down Quen pulled his body towards him, making him rest his head in his lap. He didn't fight him, he just closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
“Peter, hey kiddo wake up.” Quen spoke, taking off the earphones and shaking him slightly, “Your aunt is pulling up.”
He slowly sat back up, attempting to blink away the sleepiness. He was excited to go home but he also wanted to hang out with Quen and prove to him that he wasn’t some crybaby, that was a one-time thing. Plus, he just felt bad for acting so childish. “Mr. Beck, I’m sorry I-”
“It’s ok. Call me Quen, remember? We’re coworkers, it's ok.” Beck interrupted, patting the kid's shoulder.
“Quen, I know you said it's fine but I’m still sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you and I usually don't. I just-”
“Shhh, don’t worry. Your aunt’s coming over but this will be our little secret ok? You were just stressed out, I don’t want you getting in trouble because of that. I was worse when I was your age.” Beck smiled, standing up to greet May. “Hello Mrs. Parker, how have you been?”
“I’ve been better. Thank you for watching over Peter, did he give you any trouble? I’m sorry that took so long, work was taking forever and I had to cover for someone.” May rambled.
“You're absolutely ok. I don’t mind looking after Pete, he’s a good kid, no problems, no nothing. Honestly, if you ever need a babysitter just text me, I think we get along.” He laughed.
“I really appreciate it.” May smiled, thanking him once again before redirecting her attention to Peter and offering a hand for him to hold. “We better be off, let's go home Spider Monkey, I'm making spaghetti tonight.”
“Oh, wait!” Parker shouted, pulling his aunt closer so they’d stop moving. “Can Mr. Beck join us?”
May opened her mouth, unsure of what to say before finally replying.“I- I mean, only if he wants to?”
“Do you want to have dinner with us, Mr. Beck?” Peter asked, smiling at the older man as he held out his hand. “Please?”
If he was being honest, he didn’t want to hang out with Beck…but he felt like he owed him. Hopefully, dinner could probably make up for his meltdown and show that he was mature, especially if he tried to help May.
“Ah, what the hell, why not.” Beck smiled, taking Peter's hand and walking with them. “Lucky for you I didn’t drive here so I can join you.”
X
The car ride home was uneventful, Beck spoke to his mom about work and answered her questions surrounding the film. One thing he did catch was Quen lying. He told May there was a body double for certain scenes, but if there was why did he have to do the last one? It’s fine, if he said anything she’d pull him out of the film immediately and ruin his chances of being a star.
Once home he immediately tried to help, offering to get the pots ready and heat the sauce only to almost immediately get shot down.
“Don’t worry monkey, I’ve got this. How about you get started on your homework, huh?” she spoke, preparing the pot to boil.
“Do you mind if I help him?” Quen asked, watching as Peter sat on the living room floor with a look of annoyance.
“Oh, are you sure? I don’t have a problem with it but it kind of depends on him, he’s smart but super stubborn when it comes to help from people.”
“Absolutely. I was the same as a kid, just a little less talented.” Beck laughed.
“Don’t lie, I saw you in movies like Bubble Boy and other things growing up.” May smiled, continuing to focus on preparing the sauce now.
Peter lost interest in their conversation a long time ago, instead, he focused on his math.
As he continued to do his homework he felt eyes on him, choosing to ignore it so he wouldn’t lose focus.
“What are you working on?” Quen asked, taking a seat on the floor in front of him. “Math? Need any help?”
He shook his head, finishing up the current question before finally replying. “No but do you know AP Geometry?”
“Is that what you're taking?” Beck asked, receiving a head nod in return. “Wow… you're in seventh grade taking AP classes? That's pretty impressive kiddo.” he smiled, taking a seat on the floor beside Pete as he peered over his shoulder, looking at his work.
Peter had one last question as he wrote, stopping for a moment when he noticed Quentin’s eyes over his shoulder. He looked up, a small smile on his face, “do you know how to do this one?”
Beck smiled and ruffled the boy's hair as he got closer to examine the question.
“Hmm…looks like you need to find the angle sum of a polygon.” Beck smiles, patting Pete’s knee.
Peter honestly knew what the question was but he wanted to make Quen smile so he nodded, writing down the formula and working on the equation.
Peter tried to ignore the feeling of Beck's hand on his knee, trying to pretend that the older man rubbing circles into his knee didn’t feel weird or make him want to get away. When he finished his homework he quickly got up, putting it away then returning to the floor, sitting against the couch.
Quentin was quick to move, sitting beside Peter with a smile, “So, tell me about school kiddo.” He rests his arm on the couch behind Peter, watching the young boy with curiosity.
“Um…what do you wanna know?” He awkwardly replies, making eye contact with Beck. “I’m in seventh grade, I’m currently taking some AP math and sciences. May had to sign papers to let me.”
Quen smiles, nodding as he continues to stare at Peter, examining his face. “You’re such a smart boy, I bet those are some hard classes.”
Peter shakes his head, smiling softly as he replies, “They’re really not. They’re challenging but I like that I have to work for it.”
“Mhm, that’s impressive kiddo.” Beck nods, scooting closer as he watches the boy. “What about friends? Girlfriend…boyfriend?”
He blushes and shakes his head, “well…I have two friends, their names are Mj and Ned.” He pauses, finally replying with a slight voice crack, “I’m not dating anyone but…but I think Mj is really pretty.”
Beck smiles, a slight hint of an unreadable emotion in his eyes as he listens. “Mhmm, is that so? Have you ever told her?”
“No, no she’s my friend and I don’t want that to change.” He innocently smiles, a small smile as he thinks, “I love my friends, they’re great.”
Beck nods, a small satisfied smirk. “Do you ever think about-” He stops, being cut off as Aunt May calls them from the kitchen for dinner.
He quickly gets up, taking Peter’s hand and helping him up. Peter grabs three spoons and napkins before going into the dining room and setting the table.
“Would you like any help?” Quentin asks, approaching May as she stands in the kitchen. Despite her saying no he takes two of the filled bowls, bringing them to the table with a smile.
Dinner goes by quickly and they soon part ways, waving bye as they prepare for the night.
X
“Alright Parker, are you ready to start? Remember you can always call for a break, alright?” Jennifer Walters, the older lady who plays his mother, reminds him as she squeezes his shoulder.
Quentin comes up to him after she leaves, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leading him to the set. “Alright little man, let’s get started, yeah?” He asks, not actually expecting an answer. “Come on, let’s do this.”
Peter walks with him, sick with fear as they get ready to start the next scene. He’s never kissed anyone before, especially not someone as old as Quen.
They begin the scene, starting with him in the car before running up the stairs to Quen with a smile. He jumps into his arms, hugging him tightly as he presses kisses to the older man’s lips who in return kisses him back.
It takes three reshoots for them to finally get it done right.
“Cut!”
Quentin sets Peter down, ruffling the boy's head as they pull away. “Good job kiddo, you did great,” He compliments him. He pinches the boy's cheek and leans down, whispering to him, “You kiss cute. The girls will like it.” With that he stands back up like nothing happened, a smile on his face as he walks away.
Peter stands there for a moment, embarrassed and confused.
He quickly shakes off the thought, running after Quentin until he’s by his side, looking up at the older man as they walk. “Thank you, Mr. Beck, do you have anything you think I should do better on?”
Peter chose to ignore the way Quentin’s eyes immediately roamed over him, the way he seemed to eat him alive with his stare.
“How about I show you kiddo?” Quen smiled, placing a hand on his shoulder as he led the boy away to their trailers. “Let’s practice, yeah?”
Peter followed him into the trailer, taking a seat on the couch as Beck returned with two drinks, one alcohol, and the other juice. Peter took the juice with a smile and ‘thank you’ before looking at him expectantly. “Ok, so what can I do to improve?”
Beck sipped his drink, smiling at the kid before holding out his glass cup, “I’ll show you but first, wanna try this? It’ll be our little secret.”
Peter stared at the glass before glancing back up at Beck who just smiled in return, pushing it forward as to say “Come on.”
He didn’t want to, he’d never drank before and he knew if aunt May found out she’d be upset. He never wants to make his mom angry like that, didn’t want to disappoint her but…he also doesn’t want to upset Beck. Quentin was the closest thing he had to a father figure, the only man who showed genuine interest in his thoughts and well-being. He wanted to make him proud.
So he took the cup and drank slightly. He felt as Beck tipped the cup more, making more of the burning drink run down his throat. When he started coughing the older man stopped, patting his back and finishing off the drink in one go.
“Sorry…” Peter apologized, face flushed with embarrassment from his coughing. “That stuff was…good,” he lied.
Quentin broke out into a fit of laughter, holding the boy’s shoulder as he spoke with a wide smile, “No need to lie kiddo, I saw the face you made. Hey, now you can say you’re a man. Trust me, the most important step in life is to share a drink with your old man.”
Peter almost immediately perked up at his words, does that mean he sees Peter as his son? Does he actually care about him like that? “Old man?” He asked, eyes filled with hope as he stared at him.
Quentin stared at him for a moment, an unreadable expression turning into a smile, “yeah kiddo. I think you’re great, wish you were mine. Hell, if you want to, when we’re not on set you can call me Dad.”
Peter remained silent for a moment before breaking into a wide smile, leaning forward to hug Beck. “I- thank you so much, Mr. Beck. This means a lot, I just….”
Beck smiles and hums softly, hugging the boy back before pulling away, “Call me dad, alright?”
When Peter nodded with a smile Beck quickly changed the topic, “Ready to practice? You wanted to know how to get better at acting, right?”
Peter nods, scooting closer to Beck with a huge smile, so excited to be with him, to be taught something by a father figure, to just be in the older man's presence, he was his idol.
Without warning Quentin holds the back of the boy's head and pulls him into a kiss, his lips moving against his as he holds him close, his other arm pulling Peter closer.
He tenses, eyes shooting wide open in shock as Quentin kisses him. He considers pulling away, pushing him, or running…but he doesn’t, he lets him do what he wants. He’ll do anything for a dad, do anything to keep his idol.
When Quentin pulls away he smiles, eyes scanning Peter’s face, noticing the way the alcohol seems to be affecting him. “Follow what I do, ok? It’s how you get better…for the movie, alright?”
Peter nods, trying to follow Beck's lead as he kisses him, fighting the discomfort he feels from the older man’s beard pressed against his face. He nearly gags as he feels Quentin's tongue enter his mouth, making his brows furrow in discomfort…but he doesn’t pull away. Instead, Peter follows his movements, kissing the older man back despite the growing sickness he feels from it.
Beck pulls away from the kiss, pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead and cheek with a soft smile. “Alright kiddo, let's head back and finish filming our scenes, yeah?”
X
Within a week they were in the next few scenes, and the plot seemed to continue getting darker, if that is even possible.
They were on the road, then a hotel, then the road again.
Peter played his part well, complained like a child would, and expressed his frustrations and annoyance the way you’d expect from a twelve-year-old.
He fights and yells at Quentin the way the directors make him, accuses him of disgusting actions, as he is doing, and insults him every chance he gets.
For a moment in his acting, he feels a pang of truth within his recited words, resonating with the anger that he has harmed him.
“Break! Get ready to cry Peter,” the director calls, turning away to speak to his peers, possibly discussing plans.
“Hey kiddo, really good job today! Your scenes felt incredibly real. I’m impressed,” Beck smiles, wrapping his arm around Peter and leading him back to his trailer.
Peter follows him, doing as he has been for the past week despite the discomfort and sickness it brings. He can’t help but feel this growing anger within him, the frustration of being made to do weird things when all he wanted was a dad. He just wanted a dad.
He sits on the couch of Becks' trailer, ignoring the sickness that begins to stir in his stomach. While Peter watches the older man pour drinks he tries to steer the conversation away from physical touches to different topics.
“Hey, Dad, who was your first love?” Peter asks, slightly curious but more determined to avoid his touches.
Beck sets the drinks on the coffee table with a small smile, “Well…her name was Betsy Schneider, she was my childhood friend.” He takes a seat beside Peter, sneaking his arm around the younger boy's waist and pulling him closer. “She was a sweet girl, we spent years together exploring life and each other…until one day we just fell apart.”
Peter looked up at him, as he gave himself the grace to lean his head against the older mans shoulder. “What happened?”
Beck's smile drops for a second before he quickly replaces it with another. “She left me for another. The day I prepared to pop the question she informed me that she would be leaving. When I asked, she told me she had fallen in love with an unnamed man. Honestly, I considered a few harsh things but decided not to act on them. I knew it wasn't worth the risks.”
He nods, thinking for a bit. “I’m sorry that happened, Dad. Maybe in the future, you will find someone to be your second love,” he offers looking up at the older man with a reassuring smile.
Quentin smiles at him, an unreadable tension underlying his expression. “Yeah…maybe I’ll know in the future. Come here,” with that he pulls Peter up and into his lap, hugging him as he sits there.
Peter hugs him back, feeling a sense of contentment. This was the first time a man held him, the first time he had a dad to take care of him, he can’t help but lean into him, falling into his craving for parental affection.
Despite this, the comfort is quickly taken from him. He feels as Beck's hand slip between his thighs, cupping his front area.
“Oh—wait…Peter, you don’t have an a-?” he trails off, retracting his hand as he stares at the boy with a shocked expression. Are you…why didn’t you tell me?”
Peter stares at him, feeling his eyes fill with tears.
“Alright, back to it!” the director suddenly announces, being heard from Beck's trailer.
Peter quickly gets out of Beck's lap, pushes the door open, and runs downstairs back to the stage.
Of course, when Quentin returns, he seems completely fine. He has a smile on his face and even chats with their coworkers. For a moment, Peter can’t help but feel so small and dirty.
The director prepares to film the next scene, calling out to Peter as the cameras prepare to roll: “Alright, Parker, get the waterworks ready. I want to see some real tears, okay?”
He doesn't bother to pretend, as soon as he lays on that bed he reads out in sobs, crying away the mental pain and disgust he feels from earlier. He cries so hard the blanket beneath him becomes stained with his tears, as he hugs himself, wishing he could just rip his skin off.
With directions from the director, he climbs out of the bed and curls up beside Quentin. Weirdly he feels…comfort. He leans into his body heat as he sobs beside him, relishing in the feeling of the older man wrapping his arms around him as he cries. He feels so filthy- so disgusting but he also feels so loved. After all, maybe that was just a way he shows love, maybe he’s loved.
X
Peter was in “school” again. As they filmed they moved on to his enrollment into a school and then the movement into a house. He does as needed, acts his ass off, and…continues to meet Beck in his trailer.
“You know, I’m really impressed and proud of you kiddo,” Quentin smiles, sitting beside Peter as he does what he typically does; slide his hand between his thighs and touch him all over. It makes him feel dirty, disgusting, and ruined but he bites it down, lets him do as he pleases, anything as long as he gets to keep his dad.
“You’re proud?” Parker smiles softly, looking up at him with hopeful eyes despite the touches, “Why?”
“Well, you’ve come so far. My first movie was Road Trip and I was maybe around your age…but I didn’t have your talent. Your acting and emotions feel so real, it’s just amazing. I’m so proud of you.” Quentin smiles, leaning down to press a kiss to Peter's lips.
He smiles against his kiss, for a moment just feeling so validated and cared for. When Quen pulls him up into his lap he doesn't even bother to fight it, he just leans forward and hugs him tightly. He ignores the hands that run down his body, pretending his touch is loving, forcing himself to believe it as he buries his face against the crook of his neck.
“I love you, Dad,” he whispers, continuing to hug him tightly.
“I love you too baby boy, so much.”
Peter nearly jumps out of his skin when he feels hands go down his pants, no longer touching from the outside but crossing the boundary into the skin. He doesn't think about it or force himself to be compliant when he yells, “Stop!”
Quentin pulls back, his hand still down his pants, stilled as he stares at the boy. “Did you just say stop?”
He knows it's unreasonable, knows he should just run away but he can’t help but panic, feel fearful as he stutters, “N-no. No, I didn’t. I didn't mean to, it was an accident I didn't-.”
“So you’re lying now?” Quen asks, his face turning from blank into anger. He pulls his hand out from his waistbands and shoves Peter off his lap, standing above him, “You call me dad. If I’m going to be your dad that means you follow the damn rules, isn’t that right?”
Peter looks up at him from the ground, feeling so scared he wants to just sob. He wants the old Quen he knew, wants the same man who ate dinner with him and his aunt, he just wants his dad back. He’d do anything to fix it- anything to prove that he's worth at least calling son. He just wants that back, wants to be loved.
“Yes, you're right. You're right and I’m so sorry Dad. I promise I’ll behave- I promise I’ll do whatever you want,” He rambles, bursting into tears as he lifts himself to his feet, hugging Beck tightly.
Like nothing ever happened, Quentin lifts him into his arms and carries him, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he rocks him slightly. “Hey- hey calm down baby. You're ok, I promise. Daddy’s got you, I’ve got you, baby boy.”
Parker clings to the older man like he might lose him, his sobs dying as he finally calms down. He listens to his heartbeat, the hum he sings, and his breathing, soaking up the feeling of his loving presence. The weird and confusing presence he gives him when he isn't angry. He hesitates but he initiates the kiss, wanting to show Beck that he can be good, he just doesn't want to lose him.
Beck immediately responds, touching and kissing him all over, laying him back on the couch as he leans over him.
X
“Alright, we’re gonna need you to yell at each other, you guys got it?” The director asks, giving them a thumbs up without actually taking the time to listen to them.
Peter feels ruined– disgusting and drained. He let Quentin do it, he let him touch him…but he didn’t stop when it hurt, he didn’t stop when he cried and begged him to be nice. He went home feeling disgusting and hurt. When he sat in the shower that night he sobbed as he watched the water turn red, sobbed when he’d burn when he closed his legs, sobbed when he fell asleep. It was like the shower meant nothing like someone stole something he didn’t even know he had.
He acted his part out, yelling at Beck as he argued with him, stomping like a kid and even pushing him, when he screamed his last part Quentin slapped him, hard.
Despite this, he had to turn and smile at the director when he complimented them and had to pretend like all of those words and horrible feelings were fake. It made him want to scream and beg someone to help, he wanted for the first time to be the last time. He wanted Quentin, he wanted his dad but he didn’t want to ever feel like that again. Why couldn’t he just have security? Why couldn’t he be safe in someone's arms? Why does he have to continuously take and take and take all of the bad things that happen to him? And for what? The luxury of one nice memory?
After the scene, he did what he always did, followed him.
He joined him into the trailer, let him do what he wanted, and sobbed into his arms after.
How could he stop it? He finally had a dad, he finally was wanted, he was twelve.