Chapter 15
XV
“What the…are…am I…” Wade softly touched his head. It was still healing, the flesh still raw and wet. He removed his fingers and leaned back a little, whispering to Logan, “Can you see them too?”
Logan resisted the sudden urge to deny, instead replying, “Yes, they’re really here.” His hesitation before the last word was barely perceptible, but it was there.
“Pleasure to finally meet you, Wade Wilson.” Xavier said.
He instantly realized that his was the voice that him and Logan had heard, when they were inside his mind (or wherever that was), and he was the one who had pulled them out. He tried to raise his eyebrows, but the small movement of the muscles shot a spark of pain through his whole head and he gave up. Then he remembered what was happening just before he had entered Cerebro again, and looked at Yukio. He reached out, his eyes widening at the blood on her forehead. “Are you okay?” He said, clenching her hand.
She nodded. “I’m fine. This is nothing, it’ll be okay.”
After a pause, he asked. “Colossus?”
She squeezed his hand. “He’ll be alright. He’s still unconscious though.”
“There was some internal bruising,” A deep voice spoke. Beast came into view, his giant blue frame obscuring the X-Men behind him for a moment as he entered the vault. He went on, “and, unfortunately, a few of his ribs were broken, but apart from these, there was no major or permanent damage. He will be alright.” He smiled kindly at Yukio, whose eyes were glistening.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t—” She began, but was stopped by Xavier.
His wheelchair moving closer to her, he placed a hand on her shoulder. “You did the best you could under the circumstances. We’re all proud of you.”
Ellie put an arm around her. She hugged her back gratefully. Wade relaxed, but then remembered the others. “Domino?” He asked. “And Cable? Are they okay?”
The professor said, “Domino is fine. She is also resting.”
“And they know how to cure Cable!” Russell said, his joy clearly visible.
Beast added, “I must say, Cable resisted the virus admirably. I think it has weakened somewhat. But the antivirus is being synthesized as we speak.” He looked at the professor, “It’ll be ready in a few hours.”
“Thank you, Hank.”
“Great!” Wade said, “Let’s go meet everybody!” He tried to get up, but his vision darkened and he slipped. Logan’s arm around him prevented him from falling back. “I’m fine, I’m fine.” He said when he felt everyone’s concerned eyes on him.
“No, you’re not.” Laura said firmly.
“Using Cerebro without your powers was a dangerous thing. Healing from those injuries will take some time.” Xavier said.
“Yeah, you need to rest.” Ellie said. She and Yukio were standing now. “You can meet them later.”
“Aw, but I wanna do that now!” Wade whined. “And the X-Men too!” He looked at the group still standing silently outside. “Or are they too shy to meet someone as handsome as me?” He noticed Jean and the others staring at Logan silently, but didn’t say anything about it.
“Again with your looks.” Logan muttered, frowning at him.
Wade turned his head towards him, saying, “Oh, it’s gonna take more than one confession for these issues to go away,” He moved closer to his ear and whispered, “and many, many more make-out sessions.” Logan felt his cheeks grow hot, and was glad that he was covered in blood and nobody would be able to notice.
BAMF! “I’m fairly certain I’ve given them a good education in handsome faces, herr Wilson.” The mutant grinned, having just appeared on the walkway.
“Nightcrawler!” Wade said, pain momentarily forgotten as excitement took over.
Kurt turned to the professor. “The students are all okay. Rogue is supervising everybody’s return.” He leaned to the side so he could see behind Beast. “Iceman? Now would be a good time to…break the ice.”
“Oh! Yes, I’ll go now!” Bobby, standing at the back, turned, then added, “And enough with the ice puns.”
“Cold shoulder much?” Wade said and looked at Kurt, who winked at him.
“Professor?” Scott said, standing in front of the X-Men. Everyone looked at him, and he gestured to the side with his head.
Wade was looking at Logan, trying to decipher his thoughts, when Xavier said, “Ah, yes, there’s someone else who requires your attention, Wade.”
Outside the vault, Jean, Storm and Kitty shifted, and Cyclops hauled in a man, holding him by the collar and an arm. It was William Cunningham. His hands were tied behind him, and his leg was bandaged. His face only showed contempt.
“Oh, him.” Wade said, his enthusiasm going down.
“He did this?” Logan’s grip on Wade’s arm tightened, and a low growl began in his throat.
“Yes, I did this!” Cunningham spat out. “And I’ll do much more to all you fucking mutants!”
“But why, Mr. Cunningham?” Xavier asked calmly.
“Why?” His face was red. “Why?? Because you killed my brother. Because you made his children orphans! Because you need to feel the pain I felt!”
“I didn’t kill him!” Wade said, his voice rising in spite of the headache. “How do I make you believe me, man? He was my friend.”
“I might be able to help.” Xavier said as the man scoffed. He went to Cunningham. Scott had his hand on his shoulder, to prevent him from doing anything. “Would you please bring Wade here, Logan?”
For a moment, Logan’s anger at the man was lost. Seeing all the X-Men here, alive and well, looking just as he remembered them, was shocking for him in itself. So, with a lot of effort and a lot of focus on Wade, he had shut those thoughts out, deciding to go back to them once he was sure Wade was fine. But now, hearing his name called by the professor, hearing it after all those years, after having accepted that the kind voice would never speak to him again, was threatening to overwhelm him. He just looked at him, not knowing what to do. It was Wade who brought him back. He touched his hand, and asked, “Logan?” Without taking his eyes off the professor, Logan turned his head towards him. “Logan.” Wade repeated. That broke the spell of the shock. Logan looked at Wade, whose eyes told him that he understood. With a deep breath, he helped Wade get up. His own injuries had healed completely, though his shoulder was sore. As he got to his feet, the bullets that had fallen out of him as he had healed rolled and clinked around him. Slowly, almost carrying Wade, they went near the professor.
Wade’s headache was making his vision blurry, and the movement, from the Cerebro table to the middle of the walkway was almost too much for him. Slowly, Logan knelt with him beside the professor. Cunningham’s angry face came into view, and its resemblance to his brother’s brought all the old memories back. Xavier leaned forward, his both hands outstretched. He touched Wade’s head. Cunningham tried to resist, but Scott held him fast, and the professor connected to him.
Instantly his protests ceased. Wade’s memories were channelled into his mind, and he saw everything that had happened. He saw the bleak and unsettling laboratory; he felt being restrained – the straps on his neck and arms and legs; he felt the relentless tortures, and the excruciating pain. With these, he also experienced the emotions that Wade had felt during his time there – anger, defiance, fear, regret, and also, hope. And between all this darkness, the small, brief flicker of relief, through humour. He heard the things Wade spoke aloud, just so he could be sure he wasn’t dead, so he could be sure he could still speak, he was still human. And in response came another voice – a voice he recognized at once. It was his brother, also trying to find some relief in the loneliness and fear that the place generated. He heard the scenarios Wade and Walter imagined, when they would get out, when they would be cured. He heard the jokes they made, about each other and about themselves. He heard the wishes they made, for each other and to each other. And he felt the affection they felt towards each other – an affection born from the simplest of causes: the knowledge that they weren’t alone, that someone else was there too, with them. Then he saw the people who were torturing them, heard their sadistic pleasure, their threats. He felt Wade’s anger, and heard his defiant responses to their actions. He saw himself being locked inside the oxygen-deprivation tank, and he heard the truth behind the facility, the lies they had told, and what they actually planned to do to everyone there. He felt Wade’s horror, his fear and his utter regret, and he felt his anger at them all. Then came the torture that was worse than any that had come before. He felt himself gasping, crying for air, felt himself almost losing consciousness, and felt the relieving return of air, but it was short-lived, and once again, he felt his lungs burning with the lack of oxygen. And as this went on, he felt his mind struggling, clawing, screaming for escape. Then he saw the small matchstick, and a plan formed. But he knew how difficult it was to focus, with his brain burning and breaking, and almost giving up when those brief allowances of oxygen were allowed to come. Against all this, he saw himself getting the matchstick, and against all fears, he lit it. Then came the explosion, and the fire, and the pain, and the shock of himself healing through it all. He saw himself fighting the man who had done all this, and he felt himself being impaled.
And then he saw him. His brother. Still restrained, with wounds on his head, lying trapped under the crumbling building. And he felt the sorrow that Wade felt, the guilt and the grief, at losing his only friend there, at not being able to do anything to save him. He saw how Wade kept his eyes on Walter, and though separated by the fire, stayed with him. He saw his brother maintaining the eye-contact, and felt the unspoken acceptance that passed between the two friends. He saw his brother closing his eyes, and felt the absolute emptiness that Wade had felt. And just like Walter, he too accepted his fate, and closed his eyes.
There was a gasp and a sob. The professor removed his hands. He gestured to Scott, and he let go warily. But William wasn’t resisting anymore. His eyes were open, and tears streamed down his cheeks as he sobbed. “Wuh-Walter. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Wade’s guilt, still inside his consciousness, mixed with his own.
Wade’s eyes were wet as well. He turned his eyes away from the grieving man. For a while, the only sound inside the room was him sobbing. Gradually, they subsided. William blinked, and looked around, coming back to the present. He looked at Wade, feeling a lot of things. For so long, he had harboured this hatred – this hatred that had consumed almost all of him; and now, this realization was cascading over his thoughts, his beliefs, his worldview, this realization of how wrong he had been. For years, he had held this twisted idea of the man currently sitting in front of him. But with everything he had seen and felt just now, he couldn’t deny any more how false that idea was. On the basis of that idea, he had become part of a hateful, harmful organization, and had done things for them that now made him repulsed with himself. Briefly, as his thoughts changed and realizations came, he wondered whether this was all it took – one small glimpse into the mind of the person you hated, one small look into a world you thought was distorted and evil and damaging to yourself: one small look into this world, to see how similar to your own it was, how similar all its feelings, its emotions, its dreams and hopes, and you realized how wrong your perception of it was – this world, this individual, this person, that just wanted to survive, wanted to live. Was that all it took? If he was a man who lied to himself, who lied so constantly and so convincingly that the lying was all he knew, he might have denied the realizations that were coming to him. But he wasn’t such a man. Yes, he had hated, he had harmed, he had done despicable things, but it was all rooted in his grief and his love for his brother. That didn’t excuse his actions, but that did allow him now to acknowledge he was wrong, and to feel regret and guilt for all that he had done. It was a painful, difficult process – changing your beliefs – but the face of his brother, his voice and his last moments were still fresh in his mind, and he knew now what he would’ve wanted. “I…you were…I’m sorry.” He looked down, aware of how meaningless the words seemed against everything he had done.
The professor said, “We do not wish to harm, to indoctrinate, to destroy you or your society, Mr. Cunningham. We just wish to live, to not have to hide who we are, and to feel that we belong, just as much as you do, on this earth.” The man nodded, his eyes still down. “Society, or some way of life, is not a static, unchanging, rigid thing. It is a concept that must be flexible, that must have room to welcome the coming new generations, and to help them belong to a caring and loving community. That is what a society is for. That is what a society exists for. Not so it could exclude the people it deems incongruent to its majority. Acceptance, understanding and empathy – those must be the building blocks of a society, and those are what we fight for.”
“Fuck yeah, we do!” Wade tried to pump his fist up but his head, and most of the body, were still aching, so he sufficed with just making a fist.
“So, what’s going to happen to him?” Yukio asked. She wasn’t feeling very charitable towards the man whom she had seen torturing Wade so mercilessly. Cunningham looked up, also curious about the question.
The professor answered, “That will be decided by the law, but,” He looked at William, and went on, “based on everything that you’ve done, it won’t be a short sentence.”
Laura began counting off pointedly on her middle finger, “Assault, abduction, attacking a school, torture—”
“I think Mr. Cunningham is aware of everything he has done.” Beast interrupted her. “However, he might gain some leniency if he was willing to provide details about the people funding him. Essex Corp., wasn’t it?”
He nodded, then said, “I’ll provide everything. All the accounts, all the illegal activities, locations, foreign deals. Everything. Just…can you make sure my niece and nephew will be fine? I’ve set up funds for them, but…will they be…okay?” He was looking down, ashamed at making even this small request from the people he had wanted to eradicate.
“Of course.” Xavier said.
“You could’ve been there for them.” Yukio said, her voice hard. “You could’ve become the father figure they needed, told them about their father, given them something more to remember him by. In their suffering, you could’ve been the support they needed.” She looked away. “But you just wanted to destroy, wanted to…kill.” Ellie held her.
Cunningham, thinking about her words, thinking of what he could’ve done different, was feeling guiltier. Fresh tears filled his eyes. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, feeling the hollowness of the words and not knowing what else to say.
The room was silent.
xxx
“I didn’t know that’s how clean-up worked in this universe. I thought you guys just dumped the bodies wherever. Or incinerated them.” Wade said as Cunningham was taken away. It was morning, and there were several cars and vans outside. The police had taken statements from the professor and Yukio. Ambulances were carrying off the corpses, or parts thereof, and the injured – the guards who were with Cunningham. Most were court-martialled ex-soldiers, working for whoever paid best. Their firearms were all unregistered, and most of these men had been working off-the-grid, with no documentation or records; besides, the people who had hired them, Essex Corp, would most certainly deny having any associations with them, and so, the school wouldn’t face any major legal problems. Minor troubles were usual, and easily solvable. News vans also stood parked, with random flashes going off every few moments, and the continuous droning of reporters audible as background noise. Beast and Jean were outside, aiding the police with whatever else they needed.
Wade was hanging on to Logan. His arm was wrapped around the mutant’s waist, and he randomly dug his nails lightly into his skin, or gently caressed him, making Logan stiffen up and let out a growl, stopping the fingers for a short while. Logan, for his part, had wanted to throw Wade off multiple times, but knowing his weakened condition, was holding on with divine patience. Both of them stood just inside the mansion, looking out through the doorway. The doors themselves were gone, completely blown off their hinges when the mutant had barrelled through the mansion earlier. Logan wasn’t looking outside, keeping his eyes on the floor, or the grass, or the siren lights from the cars.
There was a BAMF! and Kurt appeared behind them.
“That will never get old!” Wade said as they turned. His headache had lessened, and he could feel strength returning to his body, but hanging on to Logan was much better.
“The beds are made. You can rest.” He said.
When nobody did anything for a moment, Wade said, “Aren’t you gonna teleport me there?”
“Uh, sure.” Kurt said, and moved forward, but Logan took a step back.
“You aren’t strong enough to teleport.”
Wade patted him away, staggering into Kurt’s hands. “I’m fine, peanut, right as a rainbow.”
“If you say so.” Kurt said, and
BAMF!
Wade was underwhelmed. “That’s it?” He asked.
Kurt, uncertain how to react, said, “Yes?”
“I blinked. Let’s do it again.”
“It’s…Was hast d—what were you expecting?” He asked, slightly annoyed, consciously interrupting the German outburst.
Wade shrugged. “I don’t know, seeing the cracks of the universe as we moved through it?”
“That’s…I don’t know about that.” Kurt said, confused and curious about his own ability.
“Eh, it’s fine, I guess.” He said and slumped down on the bed. Kurt teleported away with a bamf that was subdued than usual. He was in the school’s medical wing. The mansion was being cleaned up and repaired, and in the meanwhile, the students were supposed to spend all their time in the school or the grounds, away from the rubble and the debris. The medical wing of the school, therefore, was set up for all the injured. He looked around, and found Yukio and Ellie to his left. Yukio was asleep, and Ellie was scrolling on her phone. Beyond, on the bed by the wall, was Laura, sleeping soundly. To his right was Domino, who smiled and waved at him. Beside her, Russell sat on a chair, his head on the bed, asleep. His mouth was slightly open, and in the morning-light coming through the windows behind them, a small strand of drool glistened on the corner of his lips.
“Domino!” He exclaimed, provoking a loud “Shhh!” and a scowl from Ellie. “Oh, sorry!” He whispered, then looked back at Domino. “Are you okay?” He whispered.
“Yeah, just tired.” She said, then added, “Luck wasn’t my lady yesterday, I guess.”
Wade tilted his head. “The fuckers had power dampening fields. It’s fine.”
“And I have to ask,” She said, “Were you…inside my head?” She looked weirded out by the sentence herself.
Wade grinned. “Yeah, kinda. I used Cerebro to find you. Had to enter your mind to see where you were.” He raised his hand in solemn oath. “But I promise I didn’t loiter around and peek behind doors.”
“Thanks, I guess.” She said, then let her head fall back on the pillow and closed her eyes.
Wade looked beyond her. Colossus was lying on a bigger, reinforced bed near the wall, breathing deeply. He turned his head and noticed, on the bed directly opposite to him, Cable looking at him. He jerked back. “Whoa, don’t jumpscare me like that!”
“Didn’t do anything.” He said, his gruff voice sounding much lighter than the strained one Wade had last heard.
“Didn’t have to. Your stare is enough.” He said, relaxing. He moved down on the bed, resting his head on the pillow. “How are you anyway? You aren’t smoking, so that’s a good sign.”
“Fine. The virus is still inside me, though I fought a lot of it off. Removed it from most of the integral systems.” He sighed. “The idiots made me sit here, as if sitting down would stop it. But one of them, the big blue one, said he’s making the antivirus.”
“Now, now, what did I teach you about racism? That’s Beast.”
Cable flipped him off. “Whatever. I don’t trust their cures, but this Beast said that he knows how those fuckers made the virus, and devised his cure based on that. That’s something.”
“They’re trying to help. Let them.” Wade said.
Before Cable could respond, the professor entered the room. He looked around, nodding at Cable who responded with the same, then lay down and pretended to sleep. Xavier came over to Wade. “Comfortable, Wade?”
“Oh, yes, very.” He said.
“I’m sure you have questions.”
“Oh, yes, very.” He repeated. Ellie chuckled.
“Go ahead. For all you’ve done for us, answering them is the least I could do.” He said. Ellie got up with a sigh and joined them, perching on the end of Wade’s bed.
He began, “Okay, first question: why aren’t you James McAvoy? I mean, I have no problem with Patrick Stewart,” he gestured towards him. “But in that brief cameo in the second movie, McAvoy was playing you. Oh, and adding on, why do all X-Men look like the original actors and not the new ones? What happened in these six years? You all got into situationships or what?” He looks around, and adds loudly, “Or are we completely saying fuck you to the Fox timeline?”
The professor frowned. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand your questions, and, you’ll forgive me, I don’t wish to look into your brain to understand.”
“Just ask normal questions.” Ellie said, already annoyed.
Wade shrugged. “Eh, it’s fine. I guess exposition sounds better from your wise voice.” He tilts his head towards you conspiratorially. “Or maybe the writer probably had the hots for Stewart.” He lifts his shoulders. “I mean, I’d have hit that…maybe thirty years ago, but now…”
“Next question?” She said impatiently.
“Okay, okay. You do you, I guess.” He raised his eyebrows and glanced at Ellie before looking at Xavier. “Next question: what’s the deal with Cerebro. How fucking invasive is it!”
“Which is why I use it carefully, and with a lot of self-imposed restrictions and cautions.” The professor said, “Cerebro is not a simple machine, and there are several protocols that prevent users from invading other minds too far. What you did, what you saw, was just the surface.”
“The surface!? I could feel the minds of the whole world’s mutants! That’s just the surface!?” Wade exclaimed.
“And every time I use it, I feel all living creatures, across the entire planet. Every single consciousness.”
“Weird flex, but okay.”
“The point is that the way you used Cerebro was very…unorthodox. I understand the necessity of the way.” He crossed his fingers together. “Nonetheless, yes, in the wrong hands, it can be a highly dangerous and highly invasive machine, but that is why we have all the safeguards and passcodes. Only the people I trust the most are given access, and the people they deemed most trustworthy.”
“And I’m one of them.” He said happily.
“Not by my choice.” Ellie muttered. Wade made a face at her, to which she responded in kind.
“Shall we go on?” The professor ignored their faces.
“Yeah, where were you guys all these years?” He asked, and she was interested too. He added, “And did space travel age you up so fast?” He looks at you briefly and says, “If you want that explanation,” before turning back to him.
“Ah, yes, the mission.” He smiled, but there was a sadness behind it. “I will be explaining this to the whole school, and eventually to the news reporters. So, best to get the story articulated beforehand.” He sat back. “We had received a distress call, a plea for help, from someone far across the universe, beyond anything we have ever discovered. What was peculiar about this call was that it was transmitted as telepathic waves, unlike any I had encountered before, and asked for my help in resisting the advances of an empire that conquered and consumed other planets, other cultures.”
“The Shi’ar!”
“You…know of them?” He was taken aback.
“Nope, just watched the old X-Men cartoon.” Wade said, then waved his hands. “Go on, go on. Ignore me.”
He continued, “This Shi’ar empire was an ever-growing force, and soon, it would’ve come for Earth. But there was internal political turmoil. Some within their governing council were tired of the bloodshed, and wanted it to stop, while others took a little too much pleasure in it. A coup was being planned, and the ruler, who leaned towards ending the expansion, was in danger. The ruler’s children, one of whom would’ve been the next ruler, were part of both these factions. And through all of this, their expansion went on, with their armies constantly being deployed, and arms being sent to them. The factions targeted these armies, targeted the weapons, and attempted to maintain their own anonymity. You can see the complicated and dangerous politics.” He paused, getting his thoughts in order, then went on, “One of the pacifist factions, if we may use earth’s semantics for an alien civilization, had sent out the telepathic plea for help, towards all the planets that were in imminent danger of being attacked, in the hopes that someone might hear and answer. External support, after all, is an important commodity when internal chaos is overwhelming.”
“And you were the ones who answered.” Ellie said.
“One of those who answered.” He corrected with a smile. “The universe is vast.”
“What about the people who went with you? How did Magneto come on board?” Wade asked.
The professor’s smile vanished at the name, his eyes looking down. “Eric knew of the distress call as well. I’m not the only mutant who can decipher telepathic waves.” He explained seeing Ellie’s confused face. “He wished to accompany me on this mission, and though I was hesitant, I knew he would be a great ally.”
“Ahem-husband-ahem.” Wade coughed, then said quickly, “What happened there?”
“Let us go chronologically.” Xavier said, moving his wheelchair back. “Our technology is not yet so advanced as to cover the distances that the call demanded. But they had also set up response beacons, closer to our planet. If we responded, these beacons would tell them, and they would send transport for us. So, just beyond our solar system, we boarded their ship, and thus reached the Shi’ar empire. Or rather, smuggled into it.”
“How was it?” She asked, curious.
“Beautiful. Alien. And dangerous.”
“Is that where you got your comic-accurate costumes?” Wade asked, remembering the X-Men standing outside the Cerebro room.
The professor said, “Our allies created the suits for us, yes, so we could have some protection, and so we could stand out when needed.”
“Nice.”
He continued, his tone graver, “Conditions were worse than we had expected. The inner turmoil was threatening to topple the entire empire, which would’ve resulted in birthing uncountable wars on all the planets and cultures under the empire, as the factions and peoples fought among themselves, for control, for power, for survival. Collapse of the empire would’ve meant chaos across the universe, and inevitably it would’ve spread over towards Earth – a planet so weak and primitive, when seen on the galactic scale, that it never would’ve survived.” He moved his wheelchair closer to the window between Wade and Yukio’s beds, looking out at the morning sky. “I saw so many worlds, such as ours, die, as a result of the empire’s inner conflict – worlds that were insignificant to the politicians of the central empire, but were home to so many peoples. It was awful, and imagining the same happening to Earth gave us the strength to resist.” He sighed. “But it was difficult. There were times when we…when I wanted to give up. We…I lost Eric.” He looked down.
A stunned silence reigned over the room. Nobody knew what to say. Wade noticed Yukio and Domino, now awake, listening silently. Russell and Laura were still asleep, probably tired from having been awake all night.
The professor said after a while, “He…was trying to…to give us a chance. He didn’t have to be there, but we were ambushed, and he chose to protect mutants over his own life. Logan…our Logan,” he said, looking at Wade, clarifying that he knew the Logan on this world wasn’t native to it. “He was with him, helping him. And it happened. We couldn’t save them…none of them. Quicksilver, Pyro, Sabretooth…Raven.” He looked down at his hands, as if seeing someone, lost in the horrific memories. “They were…they gave us one last chance to resolve it all. And we did. All because of them. Because of their sacrifice.”
“I’m sorry.” Wade said eventually. Ellie was gripping her phone tightly. Yukio’s hands were on her lips. Domino just looked on in shock. Even Cable’s eyes were open, staring at nothing.
“They wanted us to live,” Xavier said, “to have a better future. That is what we vowed to do. That is what we owe to them.” He turned towards them, shaking his head a little, as if to dispel the memories. “We returned soon after. The empire is now stable once more, and its policies, when we left, were being amended to make it more tolerant, more harmonious. It was a long struggle, and more problems will probably arise, but we did what we could, and left things better than they were. That is perhaps the best we can hope to do.” He smiled a sad, lonely smile.
After a moment, Wade said, “And coming back, you found more trouble.” He whistled. “Not a single fucking break.”
The professor looked at him, the sadness in his smile receding. “True, but people needed help.” He turned towards Ellie. “I think it would be better if you begin the next part. I will join your account when needed.”
She nodded. Taking a deep breath, she began, “Alright, so we left you guys and went directly to the address you had given. The entry was easy. We landed the plane some miles away, so they wouldn’t get alerted, and then went to the building. Russell blasted through the entrance, and we made it to the fifth floor before they turned their power dampening fields on. There were still, like, ten floors between us and Domino. It was fucked up.” She spoke faster, wanting to relive the tense ordeal as briefly as possible. “They rushed us, and we couldn’t do anything. Laura and Logan fought brilliantly, as much as they could, and we did somehow make it to Domino, but both of them were injured. Russell and I helped in whatever way we could.” She looked down at her hands. “I mean, we just took the guns from whoever the Wolverines had stopped, and then used them. Nothing more for us to do. I think it took us more than an hour, just fighting and making our way through the floors. But then we were cornered…trapped. They were prepared for us.” She paused for a moment, and Wade saw her hand trembling. She pressed it down on her thigh, clutching it tight, and went on, “We got to Domino, but apart from jumping from the fifteenth fucking floor, we had no other options. That was when everyone showed up.” She looked to the professor to continue. He had moved closer to her.
“It’s okay. Take deep breaths.” He said, his voice low. She did as he asked.
Wade remembered something, “Wait, you said…more than an hour. Hmmm.” He narrows his eyes at you. “That was probably when I asked for the Deus Ex Machina.” He raises his hands, palms up. “And that’s how it came?? Fuck!” He throws up his hands, lacing them behind his head. “I’d scream ‘lazy writing’ if I wasn’t still glad to be alive. Fuck this fucking writer!”
“We arrived just in time.” Xavier said. “I knew upon coming back that something was wrong. My first thoughts, as we neared Earth, went to the mansion, and I knew it was being attacked. But then I became aware of Logan, and, forgive me, everything else slipped out of my mind. We went to where he was, and assessed the situation. Making one of those men turn off the power dampening field wasn’t difficult. I just hoped I had done it in time.”
Ellie nodded. “You did, but it was…scary.” Hearing her admit to being scared was what drove the horror of the situation home for Wade. She continued, “We were in the room where they had kept Domino, and a whole army of those soldiers were just outside, about to open fire. They did open fire. But that was when our powers returned. Logan and Laura were shielding us, so they were hit with the first round of the bullets, but their healing factors had kicked in. After that, it was easy.” She shrugged. “Well, relatively easy. The X-Men helped a lot, and we took them all down.”
“Great!” Wade said.
“That was also where I was able to log into their drives,” Beast said, entering the room with a tray containing three syringes and some cotton. They had a light green liquid in them. “And find the molecular make-up of the virus that they infected Cable with.” He went to the cyborg, who was sitting upright now. “The cure is completed. May I?”
Cable looked at the syringes. “All three?”
“I’m afraid so.”
“Hmmm” He took the first, pushed it into his arm and emptied it, then did the same with the remaining two. His eye glowed and moved fast inside the socket. Beast offered the cotton, but he just pulled his sleeve down and leaned back. Just as the big mutant was leaving, he muttered, “Thanks.” Wade saw Beast smile as he left.
“Being a little less hardcore is also an open option, you know.” He said. Cable only scowled, then closed his eyes. The antivirus was probably working, removing the virus from his system entirely.
“Any other questions?” Xavier asked, moving back.
Wade thought for a moment, but before him, Yukio asked, “How did Logan get here so fast? Before you all?”
The professor turned to her. Wade suddenly felt hot, remembering the words he had said, his confession, to Logan. To his relief, Xavier didn’t ask him anything. He said, “I’m assuming there was a point where Wade called for help, through Cerebro, at great risk, I might add, probably to Logan,” He looked at Wade, who nodded, and went on, “Logan heard him, and asked Kurt to teleport him to the mansion.”
“Must’ve been strange for…Nightcrawler, to see Logan alive again?” Ellie asked, feeling weird about calling a stranger by his first name, and so choosing to settle on his alias.
He nodded. “It was, for all of them.”
Wade added, more to himself, “That’s why they were staring at him silently, down in the vault.”
“Things were happening fast, so there wasn’t time for reunions.” Xavier said, going back to the window. “Once he left with Kurt, I explained to them that he wasn’t the Logan we had seen…die.” He paused, then continued, “As Kurt told me later, he could only teleport some distance away from the mansion, due to the power dampening fields the attackers had set up. And he asked Logan to wait for us, but he wasn’t listening. Knowing he wouldn’t have his healing factor, he went in.” He looked at Wade. “I do not know what you had said to him, but he was in a rush. I’ve never seen him as nervous as at that moment.” His voice was curious, but when Wade didn’t say anything, he removed his gaze.
Wade, for his part, was looking for ways to divert the talk from what he had said. The solution came easily. “Soooo, going back to Cerebro. How did I survive? And why did I go…where I went?”
The professor moved closer to him. “I do not know where you went, but I can tell you it was somewhere inside your own mind. Perhaps a place you felt safe?”
“How?” Wade said, not thinking about the place where he felt safe.
He began, “Eric and I devised Cerebro together. After Jean had come to us, we knew the potential her powers held, and we knew she was strong enough to operate Cerebro. The problem lay in the volatility of her powers. We needed a way for her to use the machine, but also for the machine to be safe for her, in case I wasn’t there.” He smiled at the irony. “So, we added the Consciousness Preserver Protocol. In case Jean, or any telepath other than myself, used Cerebro but couldn’t handle the mental strain, the machine would preserve their consciousness within itself, keeping it alive.” He added with a small tilt of the head, “As long as the machine kept running and the person wasn’t detached from it. Then, once I returned, I would bring the consciousness out. Except,” He looked at Wade, “we didn’t count on someone without telepathic powers using it. Even more so that someone without any powers would attempt to use it.” He moved between the beds, going closer to the door.
“And definitely didn’t on Logan coming in after me.” Wade said with a fond smile.
He nodded, “Yes, that too. Also, the fact that you took Rogue and Caliban’s help in place of a real telepath made it even more dangerous. The machine was confused, and also a little damaged. Hence, all the injuries. But I plan on fixing these oversights soon. Now,” he added, “anything else?”
Wade thought hard. He looks at you. “Come on, think! Is any other unexplained plot-point left? I’m not doing the Dora the Explorer style waiting around.” When nothing else came to mind, he said, “Long exposition done, everything answered, everyone mostly alright, villains sent to jail. I think we’re good!” He gave the professor two thumbs-up.
Xavier smiled. “Then I will leave you to rest. Besides, I don’t know how much longer Scott and Jean can keep the reporters at bay. If you will excuse me,” And he left the room.
Wade let out a loud sigh. “Fuck, these last few chapters were torture to get through.” He shrugs at you. “I can sleep for days now.” He closed his eyes and smiled contentedly. “So glad all the heaviness is done.”
xxx
Logan felt like there was something heavy on his chest. Once Wade had left with Kurt and he had nothing else to focus on, all the thoughts and feelings he was forcing down with great effort came rushing back up. He had gone to take a shower, to wash off all the blood covering him. Though Cunningham’s men had trashed the whole mansion, he had found one bathroom working. Now, standing under the hot stream, he pressed against the wall with both his hands and breathed deeply, looking at the red liquid flowing down the drain, getting a lighter colour. Seeing all the X-Men, all his friends, alive, when they were rescuing Domino, had come as a huge shock. They had appeared outside the room where he had been trapped with the others, dressed just as he remembered, and had joined the fight without a word. Surreal wasn’t a word in his usual vocabulary, but there was nothing else to describe the whole situation by.
There was a moment in the fight. They had been inside one of the rooms, driven by the flow of the battle, where a mirror was on the wall, directly opposite to the floor-length window. Logan now remembered the reflection he had glimpsed in it, just for a second, so it appeared as a frozen image in his mind: he, in his yellow suit and red claws, was crouched down, about to slash up; behind him, Cyclops, in his yellow and blue, was mid-jump, his face obscured by the flash of red from his visor; floating a few feet above them, glowing green and golden, was Jean, her hands pointed at someone outside the mirror-frame; to their side, on the upper edge of the mirror-frame, the black and red mist that was Kurt stood, his leg stretched in a kick; and behind them all, across the exploding, shattered window, was Storm, with a strand of lightning extending from the clouds behind her to the window. Logan had glimpsed this in the mirror, for just a second, and the image had imprinted on his memory.
Now, under the shower, it returned, rending his heart, reminding him of his world, his friends, their adventures together. Seeing himself there, in that mirror, back with them, was a strange sensation – at once painful, and joyous. He didn’t fully understand what he felt. They were his friends, but they weren’t. They fought and spoke and looked the same. But he had seen their blood, he had seen their dead bodies. And yet, they were here, alive. Was this another second chance he was getting? To get back with them? He had feared this, feared meeting them on this world, and now that it had happened, he didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t had to say anything to them then, once the fight was over, for he had heard Wade’s voice, and nothing else mattered. But now, with the morning had come this apprehension. They hadn’t said anything to him either, and he didn’t know what they were thinking. What of their own Logan? Where was he? Was he already dead? Thinking about himself like this, externally, as a different person, was bizarre. But if he was dead on this world, what must they be feeling, upon seeing him? The same as he was feeling? Would they accept him as part of their family, or would they always find him different, a variant? And would he ever see them normally? All these years living with the memories of that night…would he ever be able to see them as family? Or would they always seem like ghosts to him, always seen as familiar strangers, but not the people he had lost? So many questions. So many doubts. So much confusion. So much apprehension. And with the memories of his old loss, new images swam up in his mind.
He made a fist and hit the wall, careful not to put too much force but just enough to let his knuckles feel its hardness, feel the material pain distinct from the immaterial one within. He had successfully pushed these images down, but now they returned with force. The first was when he had teleported some distance away from the mansion with Kurt. He could see the vehicles outside the walls, and the numerous armed men around. Ignoring Kurt’s insistence on waiting for reinforcements, he had run towards them. And then had seen what they had done to the school. It was like he was back there again, in his own world, on that night. The gate and part of the wall were blown off, with fires raging around them. The pathway was cracked, the front lawn damaged with vehicles and footfalls, and the devices they were setting up. It had been too much for him, and he had given in to the rage and fear inside him, allowing them to take over. He almost didn’t remember how he had gotten to Wade. He just knew he was not going to let that night repeat itself.
He turned the shower off and breathed faster, almost panting. He could hear the people working outside, moving things, dropping things. There was also the sound of a helicopter somewhere above, probably a news chopper. All of this, all these thoughts and these sounds, were too much. He felt exhausted, both physically and mentally. He wanted to go far away from all this, from everyone and everything, from this destruction and pain. For the first time in months, he wished he had alcohol. He missed the taste, missed how it drowned his thoughts, missed how it allowed him to forget – momentarily, always briefly – the things haunting him. And today, when those things were back, he wanted to go back to his old, drunk self too.
But then Wade’s face came into his mind, and he was ashamed for wishing that. He pulled a towel off the rack. Wade. The man he loved. It felt scary to think that so clearly, without any layers, without implying it. He was worried about that too – how things would change between them. They hadn’t, as far as he could tell. There were still his random comments, his random touches, his jokes and nicknames. But they hadn’t yet talked about it, what it meant, the confessions and the kiss. Yes, they had fucked that one time in the car, but that had happened in the heat of the moment, and neither of them had ever mentioned it again. So, he wasn’t counting that. They hadn’t yet had any time to themselves, and Logan was nervous about when they inevitably would.
He stepped out of the shower and put on the shirt and pants he had kept aside (in the months since his first visit, he had begun spending so much time here, with Rogue and Laura, that he had thought it best to keep some spare clothes at the mansion, just in case he had to spend the night, or in case of other emergencies – such as today). Outside, Kurt was directing the clean-up crew to the rooms and hallways to be cleared of all the mess. He dodged everyone and went to the back of the mansion, where things were relatively quiet. Stepping out of the door, he breathed in deep. A gust of wind welcomed him, making his wet ears feel cold. Towards his left, at the far end of the ground, Rogue and Bobby were sitting on a bench, talking, holding each other’s hands. He looked away, gazing at the canopies of trees visible above the school wall. It was then he remembered what he had decided months ago, on Irina and Dopinder’s farm, on that morning. And he knew at once that he had to do it now. It was terrible timing, he knew, with everything that had happened between him and Wade, but he needed this. He had to do this, by himself. He knew what he felt for Wade, and knew it wouldn’t change – and that gave him some strength. But he knew it was an awful thing to ask of him.
He didn’t notice when Rogue walked up to him. She said, “Hey.”
Suddenly out of his thoughts, he almost jumped, then said, “Hey, kid.”
Bobby was still on the bench, his face turned away.
“Broke his heart or what?” He asked.
“Nothing of the kind.” She answered with a small chuckle. “Just…we need some time, before things get normal. And…well, he didn’t come with me because of…” She trailed off.
“Yeah.” He said, knowing how strange he felt himself, seeing him sitting there.
“Something on your mind?” She asked, leaning against the door.
He didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Finally, “I have to go.”
She looked at him, and recognized the familiar thing he saw in his eyes. “Oh.”
He turned away. “It’s…I have to.”
“I get it.” She finally said. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not. It’s…unfair…to Wade.” He let it out.
“Oh.” She said, suddenly understanding. She had suspected their feelings for each for a while now, and the confirmation coming from Logan was bittersweet. She placed a hand on his shoulder. “He’ll understand.”
“Will he?”
“He will, if you tell him. He’ll…if you tell him, he’ll wait for you.”
“I can’t ask him to do that.” He said, still turned away from her. “He doesn’t…he doesn’t deserve that. How can I ask him that? He doesn’t owe it to me, to wait like that. He doesn’t owe me anything.” He looked down, his voice on the verge of breaking.
Rogue had very rarely seen him like that – seen her world’s Logan like that. She made him turn around and face her. His eyes were glistening. She said, “I didn’t owe Bobby anything either. And still, I waited. Every day. Yeah, there were days where I felt like losing hope. Heck, there were days where I did lose hope. But, in the end, it always came back, this hope.” He didn’t say anything, so she went on, “You can not ask him to wait, and it would still happen anyway. He will wait for you. I’ve seen how he looks at you. I know he will wait. But…by asking him, you’ll give his hope, his waiting, an anchor. That, trust me, is much better than leaving him without one.”
He looked up, trying to will the tears to go back. She hugged him then, wrapping her arms tightly around him and pressing her face into his chest. “It’s okay.” She said, “Do what you have to. And then come back.”
He held her too. “I will.”
Half an hour later, Logan headed towards the room where Wade was resting. He had met Laura in the mansion, helping with the clean-up, and told her that he was going away. She had tried to convince him to stay, but had known it was in vain, for just like Rogue, she had understood that he needed it. Finally, after a long hug, she had gone away, not saying any farewells and making his heart ache all the more. When Logan entered the room, Wade was saying something to Yukio, making her laugh. Domino was asleep. So was Colossus. Cable’s bed and Russell’s chair were empty. Wade noticed the mutant and his eyes brightened up, making what Logan was about to do all the more difficult. He was sitting up, his feet covered by a sheet, and his hands were behind his head.
“I was wondering where you were.” He said, stretching out his hand and patting the bed.
Logan went over and sat beside him. Wade reached out and he allowed him to take his hand, allowed him to lace their fingers together. A grin passed between Yukio and Ellie. Logan felt slightly out of breath, both because of the way their hands were entwined, and because of what he was going to say. He went to it directly. “I have to go.”
“Not what people usually say after entering a room, but…okay?” Wade said, his smile faltering at Logan’s graveness.
“Wade,” he squeezed his hand. “I have to go.”
There was no response for a while, long enough for Logan to feel deeply awkward. Then, Wade said, “Didn’t know you could joke, peanut. Lots of room for improvement, but good effort.” He had pulled back his hand, leaving him feeling emptier, and was looking away.
Logan didn’t know what to do. He looked to Ellie and Yukio, but their smiles were gone. He looked back at Wade. “Will you…will you wait for me?”
“Why?” He finally said. “Why do you have to go? Why now, when we…why?” His voice rose, making Domino stir.
Logan said, “I…I have to. I…need to.” With all his strength, he looked into his eyes, trying to convey the tumult inside him. And for a second, he thought Wade understood.
But then he said, “Fuck you. Go away. Do whatever you want. I don’t care. Fuck off wherever you ‘need to’,” He made inverted commas with his fingers.
Logan looked at him for a moment, then got up. “I’ll…I promise I’ll be back.” He paused, hoping he would say something, but he didn’t. He turned to go, and Wade moved forward to clutch his hand. Logan looked down, soaking in this contact between them, final for now, feeling every finger on his skin, feeling the warmth.
Wade muttered, his voice strained, “I…I’ll wait.” Then throwing the hand away from himself, he said, “Now fuck off, you…” For once, he had nothing to call him, so he just pulled the sheet over himself and turned away, hiding inside it.
Logan looked at the figure under the sheet, and felt like his heart would burst with the love he felt. He wanted to grab him, and hold him as tight as he could, feel his breath against his body. That was what he wanted. But he knew that was not what he needed right now. So, he turned, his eyes stinging, and left.