Chapter 3
III
“Dopinder!!” Wade shouted, his finger pointed at the man across the corridor, peeking out from behind the shoulder of the woman a foot taller than him. The four people stood in the passage in silence. Finally, Logan unclenched his fists and relaxed.
“What’s going on here??” Wade yelled. He pulled out the baby knife. “Are you held hostage? Is she holding you hostage? Do I need to kill someone? Should I be speaking so loudly??”
Dopinder quickly moved to stand in front of the woman. “No, no, no, it’s not like that.” He looked back at her. She gave a small nod. He turned towards Wade and gave a short grin. “She’s…she’s my girlfriend.”
The word echoed around them for a minute.
“She’s what?” Wade said, lowering the knife.
“She’s…” Dopinder took a deep breath. “DeePee, Mr. Wolverine, this is my girlfriend, Irina.”
Irina raised her hand in a short wave and smiled. Her dark green eyes twinkled with interest from behind the large square glasses. She had sharp features with a prominent jawline, the face surrounded by messy hair tied up in a loose half ponytail. She was wearing a lab coat that was stained in different places, and one of the buttons near the top was missing, with a burn mark in its place.
“Your girlfriend.” Wade said, his voice flat.
Irina and Dopinder nodded.
Logan said, “Good for you, bub. What’s with all the drugs?” He moved his head towards the kitchen counter.
“That’s…We…I’m—”
Wade gasped, his hands on his cheeks, the eyes of the mask wide. “Are you a drug lord!?”
Dopinder said slowly, “No?”
“Very convincing. I’m convinced. You should be a professional court testifier with how convincing that was.”
Irina snorted. Everyone looked at her. She shrugged and said, “Sorry, this is all just too funny.” She crossed the two mutants and went into the living room, pushed aside the empty cartons with her feet, and sat on the lone sofa in the corner. “Okay, continue.”
Wade turned back to Dopinder, who had moved closer, in view of her. “So, is this what you deliver? You’re a delivery man for her?”
Irina interjected again, “Hey, I do want to like you, with everything that Dee has told me about you,” Wade looked at her, noticing a hint of an accent. “But I’m really not enjoying the implications that we aren’t really together. So, if you could just mentally accept that, it would be great. He’s my boyfriend, I’m his girlfriend. We’re together. Get over it.” She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, allowing him to respond.
In the silence that followed, Logan removed his mask, crossed his arms on his chest and leaned back against the half-wall separating the kitchen and the living room, his mouth curved into a small smile.
Wade raised his hands in compliance. “Of course, apologies, my lady. I’ll try to suspend my disbelief further than my balls. Also, let me just say how glad I am you’re not Angel Dust.” Wade looks at you and nods. “Yeah, that idea was floating around too, like a low-density turd of a husband in the pool with his beer. But I stabbed it in the back and threw it out the writer’s ass into the toilet. You’re welcome.” He pulled off his mask. “And one more thing: Dee?? Is that what you call Dopinder? You guys have nicknames for each other?” He turned to the boyfriend. “And what do you call her?”
Dopinder smiled, looking at her. “Rin.” His fondness for her spilled through in the word.
“Rin. Of course.” Wade clutched his chest. “Ahh, this is too sweet. Much, much sweeter than the pancakes.” He sighed. “Rin and Dee. Dee and Rin. God, that makes me feel lonely. Happy for you, but a bit lonely too.” He leaned his head on Logan’s shoulder, who frowned and shrugged him off. Wade lowered his head in despair. “See what I have? Just this cold metal-hearted bitch.”
Logan ignored him. “So, what is this? You deliver drugs together?”
“No, it’s a shared…um, business.” Dopinder looked away.
“What exactly does the business do? And how did you get into this business?” Wade asked.
“It’s kind of a long story.”
“That’s great, the night’s young and my attention span is looonngg.”
“Is it?” Logan said, looking at him sideways.
Wade turned to him with his hands on his hips. “Yes, it is, Mrs. Ramsbottom from seventh grade, when the scene calls for it.” He said, then added, “Besides, that’s just what you say in situations like this.” He looked back towards Dopinder. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just grumpy we’re well past his bedtime. Go on, tell your thrilling tale.”
“You all are welcome to sit.” Irina said, her hand gesturing towards the empty couch against the wall in the living room. The curtains of the wide window were tucked behind the couch.
“Good idea. I do need to be sitting down for this.” Wade said, walking behind Logan into the room. “God, Dopinder a drug lord. I can accept you have a tall, hot girlfriend,” He glanced at Irina and added, “with all due respect,” She smiled. He continued, “But you being a drug lord is just stretching my imagination too much.” He held his head. “This imagi-condom will break.” He turned back suddenly. “Wait, first, do you have anything to eat? I’m starving. Then I’ll have the mental strength to deal with it all.”
“Oh, yes, of course.” Dopinder went into the kitchen. Irina followed him. Together, they silently put together some toast, butter and jam, warmed the leftover lasagna in the microwave, poured out some orange juice, and dinner was set. Their movements and actions were synced, cementing it even more that they had been together for some time.
Logan looked out the window behind him and asked, “Why do you do your…business, so far out of the city?”
“It’s easier. Safer.” Irina answered.
“You might want to rethink that.” Wade said, slumping down on the couch beside Logan. “We got your address from a drug boss, who was gonna give you a visit tomorrow. Whatever you’re doing, it’s getting big enough that people are noticing.”
Dopinder and Irina shared a worried look but quickly cleared their expressions and brought the dinner on a tray, placing it on the centre table in the living room. Wade thanked them and served himself some lasagna. Logan picked up a toast. The couple went to the single sofa, with Irina sitting back in it and Dopinder perched on the armrest.
“So? Go on, tell your story.” Wade said, filling his spoon. “What are you doing here? What’s with all the devil’s dandruff? How did you two meet? When did it all start?”
Dopinder took a deep breath and began, “Well, you know how I wanted to be a contract killer, but Mr. Weasel wouldn’t let me?” Wade nodded. “After his death, may he rest in peace, the new bartender was fine with everything. Oh, also, I think he’s your fan, DeePee. He asked a lot about you, hoped you would come in for contracts, drinks and stuff. Anyway, he let me have a contract, which was great. It was for this guy who had a shipping business and smuggled in raw materials for making drugs, and then sold them at different prices to different people. One of those people were pissed off and put a contract on him. So, I was given the job to kill him.”
“And you killed this businessman-smuggler?” Wade asked, spoon paused halfway to his lips.
Dopinder tilted his head. “Not exactly. See, after killing that awful headmaster with the power of courage—”
“And your cab.”
“And my cab, I was quite confident. I thought I could take on anyone. Sadly, I realized that wasn’t the case when there wasn’t a car between the contract and me. I reached the man’s house and even inside his room, just on adrenaline. It also helped that he slept with his window open. But once inside, I knew I couldn’t do it. I mean, I had the knife and the gun, and a baseball bat, just in case,” Wade snorted. “But I couldn’t do it. So, I decided to just…sit there and talk to myself about what exactly I wanted to do with my life.”
“You decided to do that in the contract’s room?” Logan asked, unable to stay silent.
“I mean, what is the best place to have an existential crisis?” He said.
“Definitely not in the room of the man you were supposed to kill but couldn’t.” Wade said, looking at Irina who was also trying to keep her laughter locked behind her teeth.
“Well, he woke up and saw me holding the baseball bat by his feet. There were a few moments of screaming, and then we talked.”
“You talked?”
“Yes, we talked. He was sad about life, and so was I, and we had a lot to talk about. In the end, he gave me his card, thanked me for not killing me, promised not to kill me in return, and we parted on good terms.” Dopinder smiled.
“So, you didn’t kill the contract, made friends with him, and then came back home?” Wade said, unable to believe any of it, and yet the man’s smile and general demeanour was such that there didn’t seem to be any other possibility.
“Yes.” He said, then added, “And I knew killing wasn’t for me. At least contract killings and bathing in the blood of enemies wasn’t for me.”
“I’m glad you had that realization.” Wade didn’t know what else to say. He kept the empty plate back on the table. “So, how did the drug thing start? You still haven’t said what exactly it is you do.”
Irina said, “That’s where I come in.” She placed her arm around Dopinder’s waist, who looked like he couldn’t believe the whole thing himself. Wade made a mental note to point that out later.
“She was robbing a chemical lab, and I was passing by, and she needed a cab.” Dopinder said.
“Just like that? You met in a meet cute and it turned into…whatever it is you do? Too much coincidence, man. Not good for the plot.” He shook his head.
“It wasn’t really a coincidence.” Irina said. “The lab belonged to the guy Dee was contracted to kill, and it was located close to his house. It was a pretty convenient operation. This guy smuggled in the raw materials, then transported them to the lab, so there wasn’t much suspicion. And I knew about the lab because I had interned at it some months ago.”
“Why were you robbing it then?” Logan asked while spreading jam onto a piece of toast.
“The only thing worse than the medicine prices in this country is the unemployment rate of perfectly eligible people.” She said, her expressions grave.
“Can’t argue with that.” Wade said.
“Yeah, well, my mom was sick, she needed medicine, and we couldn’t afford it. I’m pretty good with chemicals, so I thought why not make some myself?” Dopinder held her hand, smiling proudly at her. She continued, “I knew the lab had the materials I needed, and I knew exactly what I needed and in what amount. So, I was going to steal those. And on the way out, he was passing by after not having killed the contract.”
“You made the medicine your mother needed.” Wade said, his eyes wide. “Damn, that’s metal as fuck.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him.
“I hope your mother is fine now.”
“She is. We’re much better off now than we were before.”
“Of course you are, drugs sell well.” Wade said.
“In fact, when I told her I was dating Dopinder, she sent over a pack of cigars for him.” She said with a pained smile. Logan’s eyes became more alert, which Wade noticed.
“I think you just said the magic words my friend here wanted to hear so badly.” He said.
“What? Oh, you’re into cigars? You can have them if you want.”
“No, no, it’s okay.” Logan said, giving Wade a withering look.
“It’s no trouble, I don’t smoke anyway.” She said, getting up. She went deeper into the house, returning a minute later with a box. “Here, they’re yours.”
“You sure?” Logan said, opening the box and looking at the expensive-looking cigars.
“Yes, yes, I was thinking of using them as incense.” She chuckled.
“Thanks!” Logan said, unable to believe his luck.
“I think you’ve successfully wooed him.” Wade said with a wink. She returned it.
Dopinder added as Logan closed the box and placed it by his side, “Her mum hoped these would make me a real man. Give me some real moustache.”
Wade snorted. “I’m pretty sure the cigars would smoke you, Dopinder.”
Irina said, kissing him, “Oh, don’t listen to her. Listen to the one who likes you more.”
“You or your other mom?” Dopinder asked with a grin, making her punch him lightly on the arm.
“Other mom?” Wade asked with interest.
“Yeah, one of my moms, the one who sent the cigars, took some time to warm up to him. The other one liked him the moment they first met.”
“Daughter of lesbians. Making your own medicines. Dating Dopinder willingly. You get cooler by the minute.”
“I know!” Dopinder said, his eyes one step away from becoming cartoon hearts.
While Wade stopped himself from saying ‘Aww’, Logan asked while grabbing a glass of juice, “So, what then? You guys opened a drug business?”
“Basically.” The boyfriend nodded. “We started talking in the taxi. I had just made a friend who could supply us with the raw materials. And here was the girl who could make magic with those. So, we thought it was pretty logical to start a drug business together.” He added, “The dating part came later.”
Wade gestured to Irina, “So, you make the drugs, like Walter White” then pointed towards Dopinder, “and he delivers them, like the other guy whose name I always forget. That how it works?”
“Pretty much, yeah.” She said. “He’s got contacts, people he knows who want or need them, and we have a growing base of customers. That businessman-smuggler sells to us at lower than usual prices, our customers pay us quite well, and so the business is working well.”
“Who are your customers?” Wade asked.
“We only sell to rich old people.” Dopinder said. “Nobody else. Just old people who have money and a taste for good cocaine. And sometimes to people who need it.”
“Is that why you had that morphine handy this morning?” Wade asked.
“Is that what you were doing at that old lady’s house?” Logan asked at the same time.
Dopinder nodded to them both.
“What old lady?” Wade asked.
“My first contract, I had to find a, um,” He briefly debated whether or not to tell the truth, then said, “a pet, for this old lady who lived in the suburbs. He was there too, and gave me lift back home.”
“Wow, so that’s what you’ve been doing this whole fic. Who knew there was a whole Breaking Bad subplot going on in here.” Wade said, fascinated as Dopinder took the plates and the tray back to the kitchen. “Wait, have you sold to Al?”
“Not yet.” Dopinder said. “Though she keeps asking me if I know someone who would sell to her at lower prices.”
“Good. If she knew what you did, she would move in with you in a heartbeat.” He said, following him, then asked, “When exactly were you planning to tell me all of this?”
Dopinder smiled weakly. “I…don’t know?”
“Ah, you hurt me, Dee.”
“I mean, I thought I would, once everything settled down.” He said quickly. “We’re still new, at everything. It’s only been a year since we started this whole thing, and as you said, people are already beginning to notice.”
“Of course they would, if you make and sell cocaine, you silly brown bon-bon.” He started washing the dishes with him. “So, what are you planning to do with the people who come looking for you?”
“Nothing, really, just tell our partner, the smuggler, and he handles all that.”
“Hmm, good, pretty efficient.” He said. “Look at you, a drug lord and happily committed! I’m proud of you, Dopinder.” The man grinned in response.
While Wade and Dopinder talked in the kitchen, Irina asked Logan, “So, how long have you two been together?”
Logan was startled. “We’re not together.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought…It’s just, you guys have a very complementary energy.”
“Don’t know about that, but we’re not together. I can’t stand him.” He said, staring at Wade.
“Okay.” She said, smiling a little. Then she added, looking at her phone, “It’s pretty late, by the way. We have a spare room upstairs. You guys can spend the night there, if you want. I doubt you’ll find any buses back to the city.”
Logan pondered over this for a while, uncomfortable after the brief conversation and not wanting to impose. When Wade returned, he told Irina’s offer.
“Oh, are you sure? I was wondering about that, how we were going to get back.” He said.
“Of course, you can stay here tonight, and tomorrow I can get you all back to the city.” Dopinder said, clearly happy with the prospect of hosting his two friends.
With that settled, the couple showed them the rest of the house. The dining room was occupied by a large round table, covered with chemicals and beakers. There were blackboards and pin-up boards on the walls, with different calculations, formulae, and pieces and pieces of paper stuck to them. The couple slept upstairs in the master bedroom. The guest room was across the hall from it. It was a moderately big room with a queen-size bed.
“Should I go sleep on the couch?” Wade asked when the couple had left, leaving spare nightclothes for them which were clearly too small.
“No, it’s fine, the bed is big enough.” Logan replied, removing his suit. “Just stay on your side.”
Wade flopped down once he had gotten out of his own suit, throwing away his scabbard and guns. “What a long, surprising day!” He sighed and tried on the clothes left behind by the considerate couple. The t-shirt was a crop-top on him, and the pants were too tight, so he pulled them off.
“Yeah.” The mutant said, sitting down on the bed in just his underwear, turned away from him.
Wade gazed at his back, which had a faint scar running down it, and felt the butterflies in his stomach return in swarms as the memories of last night came flooding back. He looked away, finding his lungs a little inadequate to hold in all the air. Logan for his part was also a little nervous, and didn’t understanding why. It was a new feeling for him. He shook his head and got onto the bed, letting his back rest against the soft pillow. He looked towards Wade, and found him turned away. A little surprised at his sudden quietness, he shrugged and asked if he should turn out the lights. Wade hummed in assent.
After a moment, he asked, “You alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just…tired.”
“Yeah, me too.” He said, deciding to believe him. He turned the lights off.