Kintsugi

Alexander sprinted to Gryffindor tower and found Harry in the common room playing wizard’s chess with Ron. He relayed Regulus’s message to him and then asked where Hermione was,

“She's in her room now, she came down earlier to check if you were here but then she went back up.” Ron said “She seemed worried you should go check on her.” Alexander thanked him and headed up to their room and knocked before he entered where he saw an anxious Hermione sitting on her bed.

“Hey, I’m sorry I’m so late; talking to my dads took a dramatic turn.” He was greeted by a hug and then Hermione said,

“Alex! I was so worried it's been like 2 hours. What did he want?” He rested his head in her shoulder and replied glumly
“They thought I was hurting myself, then things got heated and spiralled from there, but I came out to Harry’s parents. I’m staying there tonight.” Hermione broke the hug and kissed the top of his head, “So how long do we have then?” Alexander smiled, so it did mean they were gonna make out.

…

“So what did your dad want?” Harry asked, Alexander recounted the events of today. “And did my dad say who was coming over?” Alexander nodded “Yeah, I am. I’m staying for the night. I was arguing with my parents and your dad thought it would be good if I stayed.” The boys arrived at the door of their house and then asked “ I know you're out to Papa but what about Mum and Dad?” Alexander replied

“Yeah I’m out to them. Thanks for asking.” Harry smiled

“No problem Alex. By the way, is it cool if I call you Alex?”

“Yeah I don’t mind it at all, I love it.” The boys hugged before Harry opened the door,

“We’re home!” He announced in a sing-song manner spreading his arms out, Alex groaned and shoved passed him, Harry rolled his eyes,

“Alex, dude come on. Why are you already a boring old man?”

Alex ignored his cousin and joined Regulus and James in the kitchen. “Do you guys need any help?”

“Yeah actually, if you could get the salsa and sour cream from the fridge and put it on the table that would help a lot.” James asked. Alex smiled, “Sure I can do that.”

James looked away from his cutting board and over his shoulder said “Thanks Alex.” Just as Alex had set the food down on the table Lily came in and immediately ran to Alex

“Hi, Alex honey! I am so proud of you. I just want you to know that I am here for anything you need. Just tell me okay?” Lily exclaimed, capturing Alex in a bone crushing hug.

“Yeah, I will. Thanks Aunt Lily.”

“Speaking of something Alex needs,” Regulus said as he put down some taco shells and meat on the table, “Alex, What class do you have first tomorrow?”

“Potions. Why?” Alex asked. Regulus turned his attention to his wife,

“Lils, can Alex skip the first few minutes of your class tomorrow?”

“Yeah sure, darling.”

“Uncle Reg?”

“Yes?” Regulus replied, finally turning his attention to the confused boy standing between the two.

“Why am I missing potions tomorrow?”

Regulus sucked in a breath. “Oh, I’ll explain after dinner.”

James joined the three with the cut veggies in hand and Harry joined moments after.

“Hope you like tacos.” James smiled.

After dinner Regulus and Alex were cleaning up when Regulus spoke “So, tomorrow, after breakfast we are going to have a meeting with your parents. They were really worried and scared. I didn’t tell them anything but I would appreciate apologising for the way you reacted yesterday.”

Alex nodded.

“And you don't have to come out to them unless you want to, that part is entirely up to you.”

“I wanna come out.”

“You do?”

“Yeah” Alex sighed “I do.”

Regulus smiled “ Okay great, but you are sure that you don't feel pressured to come out because you’ve already come out to us right? Because no one if forcing you-”

“No, Uncle Reg, I want to. It feels right and when Aunt Lily called me Alex, it just made me feel so loved and it was like she loved the real me, not the person I’ve been pretending to be.”

“Okay, that's great. I'm so very proud of you, you know? Well, I’m gonna go to bed so good night, I love you and I'll see you in the morning.” Regulus said as he walked away.

“Good night.” Alex replied. He then made his way over to Harrys bedroom.

“Hey, sorry to bother you but could I borrow some pyjamas?”

“Yeah, of course.” He tossed him a pair of blue pants with snitches on them and a burgundy and gold shirt.

“Thank you. Night.”

“No problem, night.”

…

As soon as Sirius and Remus got home, Sirius flopped over and layed down on the couch. Remus went into the kitchen and took out a couple of cookies as well as a pack of chocolate. He sat down beside Sirius, pushed the cookies towards him and said,

“Eat, you’ll feel better.”

Sirius turned so he wouldn’t be facing Remus and the food but instead the back of the couch. “I’m not hungry.”

“Really?” Remus challenged “It's almost dinner time and I know for a fact that you didn’t eat lunch because you were not in the Great Hall.”

Sirius, still not looking at his worried husband, just made some annoyed grunts into a pillow as a reply rather than saying anything intelligible.

“Sirius Orion Black, I swear that if you don't turn over, I will force you to turn over and personally feed all of the food in this house to you myself.”

Sirius, knowing that he was not joking, reached back and grabbed a cookie, took one bite out of it, put it back on the table and mumbled “Happy?”

“Pads, love I know you are upset but please don't beat yourself up about it. You’re a good dad.” Remus tried to coax Sirius into saying, or doing anything. “How about this? You eat at least half of your cookie and then I won’t bother you about it and we can just go to bed? Have ourselves an early night?”

Sirius turned over, sat up and agreed. They both ate their cookies in comfortable silence and then went to their bedroom. As Sirius was climbing into bed he said “Moony?”

“Yes, darling?”

“What do you think happened to Ivy?”

“What do you mean my love?” Remus put his book down and put his arm around Sirius and Sirius rested his head on his shoulder.

“You said that something must have happened to cause her to react that way when we were in my classroom. So what do you think happened?”

“Well,” Remus started, “The list is endless, there are so many possibilities of what could have happened. All I know is that no matter what it is that we’ll never stop loving her.”

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus “Yeah, we will never.”
Sirius smiled, goodness did they love their daughter.

…

Alex woke up the next morning with his cousins in his face.

“Goodness, Harry, what time is it? Is it not too early for your stupid little pranks” Alex finally properly opened his eyes and then saw that there was not one cousin in his face but two. Alex then said,

“Oh, hello little lady! I didn’t realise you were here too!” He took Cynthia into his arms and commented,

“Wow, she really looks like the girl version of Uncle Reg, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, an absolute spitting image.” Cynthia started to stir after almost falling asleep in Alex’s arms, he started to rock her back to sleep. When she fell asleep Alex whispered.

“What’s the time?”

Harry checked the clock behind Alex, “It's almost time to go have breakfast, I’ll go put Cynthia back in her crib.”

After the two left Alex got ready, he then joined everyone in the living room.

“Morning,” James said while he was making coffee.

“Morning,” Alex replied.

“Hey Dad, we are gonna go down to the Great Hall.” Harry said as he put on his shoes, Alex doing the same.

“Okay, when you guys are done Alex, go down to Reg's office alright.” James said as the two were leaving.

“Okay, thanks.” Alex said as he shut the door.

As the boys entered the Great Hall they were met by their friends who bombarded them with questions, Alex started to get uncomfortable and Harry quickly jumped in,

“Ivy was staying the night at my place because he was helping out my dad with something and I stayed there cuz I didn’t feel like coming back.” That answer seemed to satisfy them and they started to eat. Alex was too anxious to eat though so he sat there staring at his plate in anxious agony.

“Hey, do you wanna go somewhere quieter?” Hermione whispered, Alex leaned over,

“Yeah sure.” The pair got up and left the great hall and proceeded to walk in the direction of Regulus’s office.

“You nervous?” Hermoine asked, breaking the silence. They sat down on the floor in the corridor and Alex leaned onto Hermione “Mhmm.” He said as he played with her hands. Hermione planted a kiss on his forehead,

“You’ll be just fine, Alex. Don’t worry.” They sat there for a while before they saw more and more people fill the halls. Hermione got up and stuck out her hand,

“We should go, come on, I'll walk you to your uncle's office.”

Alex stood up and the pair walked together, hands intertwined, nervous about the day to come. Eventually they arrived and without even knocking Regulus knew they were there and open the door,

“Alex, please come in. Your dads will be here shortly. Hello Ms.Granger.” Hermoine smiled and replied,

“Hello professor. Alright I’m going now Alex or else I’ll be late for potions.” She started to leave but then Regulus said, “Ms.Granger, just take the floo to Professor Evans' office. I’ll write you a pass.”

“Thanks professor.” She hugged Alex goodbye and then disappeared into the floo. After Hermione left Alex started to get more and more anxious sitting in the office and began to dissociate Regulus noticed it and went over to him,

“Hey, Alex, you okay buddy?” Alex had realised what he had done and then looked down,

“Yeah, I'm just nervous, sorry.” Regulus looked at him and softly said,

“Hey, it's okay, you must be feeling quite nervous, no?”

Alex nodded. Regulus stood up and said “Let’s get you something to do with your hands.” He picked up a small fidget and handed it to the boy. After a few minutes of silence there was a knock at the door. “Are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Regulus gave him a small smile and then opened the door. He greeted his brother,

“Bonjour. Ça va?” (Hello, how are you? [it's the more casual form, francophones don’t kill me])Regulus asked.

“Oui, merci.” (Yes, thank you) The other Black replied glumly. Regulus turned to Remus,

“How are you guys?”

“We’ve been better.” Regulus nodded.

“Come in, sit down.”

The three shuffled into the office. Regulus sat down at his desk and Sirius sat down beside the child, Remus beside his husband. They all stared at each other, not sure how to start before Alex broke the silence.

“Can we move over there?” He pointed to the sofas and coffee table. Regulus nodded and they all shifted over to the small set up in the corner. Alex sat down in an armchair, Regulus sat down as well, taking the one next to him. The worried parents took to the sofa. Remus then asked,

“What happened yesterday Ivy?” He looked around before continuing, “You were so aggravated by a question we’ve asked you so many times in the past.” Alex shifted in his seat, not knowing how to answer the question. Sirius then spoke up,

“Ivy, no matter what it is we will always support and love you. There is absolutely nothing you could tell us that would make us stop loving you.”

Alex looked down and took a deep breath “Um, okay so. I’m not a girl. I’m trans. I’m a boy, and I wanna go by he/him pronouns and my name isn’t Ivy. It's Alexander or Alex, whatever you guys like I guess.” Remus was about to say something but then Alex continued,

“And I’m really sorry for the way I reacted yesterday. I shouldn’t have snapped at you guys like that.” At that Sirius stood up and hugged his son. Remus soon joined them and after a moment they broke apart. Sirius then turned to Regulus and asked,

“Did you know?”

“Oui.” (Yes)

“Pourquoi ne m'as-tu pas dit?” (Why didn’t you tell me)

Regulus looked at his brother annoyed, trying not to let his annoyance boil over, “Ce n'est pas mon secret. Its Alex’s.” (It is not my secret)

Remus hugged his son again. “Oh thank Merlin.” He then let him go and jokingly hit his arm, “You scared the ever living shit out of us, Alex.”

Alex laughed, “What can I say, I come out in style.” Then Sirius spoke up. “We should get going, you have to get to potions and I should go take over my class before James sets fire to a first year.” Regulus laughed. “Oh come on. He’s not that bad.”

Remus thanked Regulus and the three walked out of the office. Remus walked Alex to potions and Sirius headed back to his classroom. Remus hugged his son, “I’m so proud of you Alex. You are so brave.”

Alex let a few tears fall and buried his face into Remus “Thank you.”

Remus heard a muffled sob come from the mop of hair resting on his chest. The boys continued walking when they arrived Remus said,

“Come to my office during lunch.”

“I thought you had a session with someone today during lunch?”

“Yeah, usually but they cancelled.” Remus was a guidance counsellor at hogwarts. Well, he split the responsibilities with Regulus who handled the more what to do after Hogwarts sort of stuff and Remus handled more of the mental health aspect of it since Regulus was also a part time healer and helped out in the hospital wing. Regulus used to be a healer at St.Mungos before Lily got a job as the potions professor midway through last year. While they were splitting responsibilities Regulus said and Remus quotes “People don’t need to know that I, Regulus Arcturus Black have a soft spot.”

“Okay, I’ll come. Love you.” Alex said as he slipped into the potions classroom

“Love you too, my boy” Remus replied as he began to walk towards his office.

…

Lily saw Alex walk in the room, he looked like he was crying but he didn’t look upset. So she was grateful when he walked over to her rather than her having to figure out what to call him to get his attention.

“Sorry I was late, professor.”

“Not a problem.” she said she then asked in a more quiet tone, “How did it go?”

Alex matched her tone, “It went well, they are both super proud of me!”

“As they should be, we are brewing calming draughts. You may join Ms.Granger.”

Alex walked over to Hermione and set his stuff down before starting to get to work. As they worked Hermione asked, “How was it?”

Alex’s face lit up and he smiled, “It was good.” He sighed and continued working,

“He called me his boy, ‘Mione.”

“Who did, Alex?”

“Dad, he walked me over here and said,"Love you my boy”.” Hermione kissed his temple before getting back to work.

“I’m so happy this all worked out well for you.”

“Me too.”

Alex knocked on the door of his fathers office before opening the door “Hi.”

“Hi Alex, sit down please.”

“So, what's up?” Alex asked, nervous.

Remus smiled, “What am I not allowed to want to see my son?”

Alex relaxed and chuckled, “No actually you need to submit an application.”

Remus let out a breath, oh how he loved his son. He was so happy that he was safe and felt safe enough to come out. “Alex, I did want to ask you something.”

“Yeah sure Dad what’s going on?”

“Do you want me to cut your hair?”

“What-”

“I was wondering if you would feel more comfortable with a more masculine leaning haircut?” Remus explained, “Hair is a big part of people's personality. When I was in school there was a whole chapter on displaying personality with someone's physical appearance.”

“Really, that's cool.”

“Yeah it was incredibly interesting.” Remus reminisced, “So thoughts?”

“I would love it if you would cut my hair, Dad. Could we do it now?”

“Sure thing my boy, let's go.”

The two flood back to their quarters where they were met with Sirius who was napping beside a stack of ungraded essays.

“Hi Pop!” Alex said cheerfully.

Sirius awoke from his nap startled and exclaimed,

“I’m working, I’m working. I’m grading essays.” Remus ruffled his hair.

“Sure you are my love. Sure you are.” Sirius then actually started grading essays. Remus then turned to his son.

“So how do you want your hair?” Alex thought for a little and then said,

“Like Pops.”

“What about me?” SIrius called over his shoulder.

“How Alex wants his hair.”

“Sounds cool, do whatever loves.” Sirius replied, Remus and Alex chuckled.

“He is not listening is he?” Remus laughed.

“Yeah he’s not.” Alex said.

The pair went into the bathroom and Remus pulled out a pair of scissors and got to work. They were in there for a long time before Sirius joined them,

“What did I miss?”

“I cut his hair.” Remus said while he put the scissors away. “So kiddo, what do you think?

Alex looked at the mirror, he absolutely loved it. It was the first time outwardly he looked like a boy. He turned around to hug his dad,

“I love it dad. It looks awesome.”

Remus smiled, “I'm glad you love it kiddo.”

After his dads left the room Alex took a second to really look at himself. He couldn’t keep staring. He was so happy he thought he might cry, he looked in the mirror and whispered to himself,

“I look like a boy.”

“You do.” Sirius said, leaning on the doorway.

Alex looked sheepishly down at the floor then Sirius said,

“How about we play a game? We could play Uno?”

As the pair sat down in the living room and started getting the cards Remus sat down,

“Oh! Are we playing Uno? Good luck trying to defeating me, you know after that semester in-”

Remus was cut off by Sirius who grumbled, “Yes yes we know. That one semester you won Uno every single time you played.” He then turned to Alex, “Let's beat the old guy?”

Remus rolled his eyes, “You are literally older than me.”

“Just play Moony.”

…

After two rounds of chaos broke out. Sirius threw his cards down in frustration,

“Moony, I want a divorce.”

“Yeah? Well I’m keeping Alex.”

Sirius gasped, “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Oh yes I would and I’m keeping James. You can have Peter.”

“But Peter lives so far away!

“Deal. With. It.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Dads, they are adults, you can’t claim custody over either of them.”

Sirius jumped up and grabbed Alex, “See Alex is my lawyer and he says you can’t take Prongs.”

Alex continued picking up cards, “You two are unbelievable.”

Remus chuckled, “Yeah but you love us.”

Alex raised an eyebrow, “Or do I?”

“Of course you do.” Sirius said, whipping his hair around. “Who couldn’t love this?” He put his hands under his chin.

Alex smiled and rolled his eyes, “Yeah, I do.” Alex picked up his bag and began to walk out the door, "I have class now. I’ll see you later Pop?”

“Yup! Love you kiddo!” Sirius called. He looked at his husband, they both shared the same look on their faces. A look of love, kindness and warmth. Goodness did they both love their son.