Chapter 2
Serval
This time of the week is always the worst, the quiet dinners, the dull questions about her school life, the constant comparisons to her siblings. She could be spending time with her dear Cocolia but no, family mandated weekly dinners were a tradition in the Landau household. What a joke, this was just a bid from her father to keep a leash on her and tighten it if she were to get a bit out of hand. Not that it didn’t stop her from letting loose, but the gun being pointed at her kept her still within that awful man’s grasp. Of course, she could just cut ties with her family, and she swears to Qlipoth she wants to desperately, but she can’t just abandon her siblings. Gepard was still only 16 years old, while Lynx was much younger. As such all the familial responsibilities still lie in her hands for a couple more years. Her father sat at the head of the table, and on the opposite side of the table sat Gepard, the future heir of Landau when he should come to age. So far the dinner was as pleasant as it could be, which means it should be right about now when her father picks a fight.
Her father, Randall Landau, cleared his throat, “So Serval, is there anything else you would like to mention about your activities at the academy.” She puts down her eating utensils and gives him a sharp look. “What did I say about looking at me like that.” Raising his voice, but not yet yelling at her.
Her younger siblings flinched, and Lynx keeps her eyes glued to the table; she knew there wasn’t anything she could do, she was the youngest after all. Gepard looks at her, about to say something to their father, defend his sister just as she always did. But Serval knew that today wasn’t the day, so she shook her head upon making eye contact with her younger sibling.
She sigh’s exasperated at her father’s tone, “I don’t think there’s anything else to talk about.” Especially not about how she’s planning on starting a band with her best friend. Randall hums, startling Serval, he never hums. What’s got him in a good mood…
“Well, I happen to have heard some interesting rumours about, involving the heir to the Supreme Guardian.” Her grip on her utensils tightens, she holds her breath unsure of where he’s going with this. “I’m very proud of you, my daughter.” This completely catches her off guard, him? Proud of her? In her entire life all she's been called was a disappointment. There must be some kind of catch. “As a Landau it is befitting for you to spend time with someone of equal or higher stature.”
It disgusts her, lowering someone’s worth to their family name, ignorant of anything else. He can only be talking about the one girl that never leaves her thoughts alone. “She has a name you know…” she grumbles under her breath.
“However, I have also heard of some more… unsavoury rumours however, something about you making a band with said person.” He knew, of course he knew. Randall sighs, “How long will you continue to hold onto such foolish ambitions, you are a proud daughter of the Landau Family, does it not bring you to shame to perform for these heathens. Worst of all, you dragged the Guardian’s Heir along with you. How much longer will you continue to drag our name through the mud. Lest you influence her further with your so called 'preferences'."
Its not the first time he’s brought this up, and it won’t be the last either. But she can take it, as long as the spotlight remains on her, her siblings would be safe. “What does it matter to you what we do, it’s our life. Not to mention she's not like that." It's not the first time he's brought up his disgust for her preferences. At the very least he has improved, he called it a sickness at first and took me to the doctor to try and have me 'Fixed' of my disease. You win some you lose some I guess.
“Everything you do matters! You hold the mantle of responsibility just as much as that foolish girl does. Your actions carry so much more weight than you can ever imagine, and we don’t need you to drag that girl through so much more trouble than you are worth.” Cocolia? Foolish? What's he talking about, does he know something?
“Father, what do you mean by that” Randall’s eyebrows raised, surprised she would show any interest in the intricate politics of Belobog. “Please…”
He sighs, “The girl is not making things any easier for herself, there are many dissenting parties arguing against her right to inherit the guardian’s position. Especially after she has stated her desires to implement reforms to assist the bottom dwellers.”
She was speechless, she knew how Cocolia wanted to help those that lived below the surface, but she had no idea that she was meeting fierce resistance over it. She can’t imagine the stress she must be dealing with not only that, but pressure from the other families. And now she’s even facing the burden of not only writing songs for her band, but also extensively practicing for their performances. How much has her workload increased, how can she balance everything?
“Apologies father, I have to do something urgently, may I be excused.” Randall looked at her, despite not showing a change in expression she knew, he was smiling, the smugness oozed out of him, this was exactly what he wanted. He knew he had her beat, she was a puppet on strings being forced to dance to the tune that he desired. But none of it matters compared to Lia. He gave her the slightest nod, and off she went, not even bothering to look back.
Until Gepard grabbed her wrist as she passed by and gave her a look that spoke for itself. ‘Are you okay?’ She simply looked back at her little brother, and thought about the responsibilities that he has just like Lia, she smiled as best as she could and nodded. He knew she wasn’t okay, but there was nothing else he could do at this moment, his sister had somewhere to be.
She wasn’t sure how long she was running, but the next thing she did know was that she was standing outside of Cocolia’s dorm room. She remained frozen in place, breathless, a thousand thoughts rushing through her mind.
Okay all I need to do is take a deep breath and think carefully about how I want to talk to Lia. No problem, its not like I was just hit with the realization that I might have pressured her into doing something she didn’t want. No need to panic, take it slow and think. I’m good at that, being a mechanics major, problem solving is what I’m good at. “Val? What are you doing here at this time? You should be at your family dinner.”
Wait I’m not ready, I don’t have a plan in place yet, I need to buy time. “Uhh, what are you doing here Lia?” Taking a good look at Lia, I finally notice the deep bags under her eyes. How much sleep has she lost trying to help me with my stupid dream.
Cocolia looked absolutely puzzled by what I asked, “This is my room… and you were the one who knocked on my door…” I’m such a dumbass, and of course I was the one who knocked on her door without realizing. But it’s fine I can still recover from this.
“We need to talk.”
“Oh, sure.” Cocolia’s breath hitched, and her eyes widened, it looked like she was starting to tear up. Without thinking I quickly grabbed her hand to try and comfort her. What I was comforting I had no clue but seeing her like that made me want to hold her close and whisper sweet nothings as we sat on her bed wrapped in a warm blanket. No stop, its not the time to daydream I need to clear things up.
“No no no no, it’s nothing bad I promise, I just had a horrible wake up call from the unlikeliest of sources.” I try to reassure her as I gently pull her into the room and onto her bed. She slowly follows me and takes a seat after me. “I just wanted to apologise.”
“What for? You haven’t done anything wrong. Did your father say something dumb again, you know that old oaf is out of his mind.”
I sigh, I want to look at her, but it’s too painful, the bags under her eyes are a constant reminder of my mistake so I just look at our joined hands. “But he’s right though, I’ve been so selfish with you. I pressured you into starting the band with me, I didn’t even think about what you’re going through and yet I just keep piling more things onto you.” I start to choke as I can’t hold back the tears any longer. “Y-You even said you didn’t have much time, but I still forced you to say yes. If I were in your shoes I don’t know if I could take it, and I hate myself for thinking about how much I’ve asked you to do, I-i just…”
Cocolia placed her fingers on my lips, “Val you’re rambling again…” she wiped away some of the tears that began to fall down my cheek. “You didn’t force me into anything, I chose to join the band with you. I could have said no, but I want to be by your side, you bring out the good in me. And I-i hate it when you say something like that, there’s nothing about you that’s worth hating.” I finally look up and into her amethyst eyes, laced with tears on the brink of spilling.
“There’s so much… I’m just a disappointment trying to run away from reality. For all the things I say about my father, at the end of the day I still go back and play the daughter he wants me to be. I love music, but now even that’s been tainted by the hate for my father. Am I continuing it because it’s my dream, or just to spite my father for lording over me and my brother all of our lives.”
Cocolia wraps her arms around me and pulls me in, allowing me to cry on her chest, “None of that matters, what your father says, what you want to do in the future. You have time to figure it out, and I can never hate you for anything Val…”
I look up at her, tears now flowing freely down both of our cheeks, “Really?” My voice sounds so broken, the woman in her arms isn’t the eldest of the Landau, she isn’t the shield to her siblings, the impregnable wall that her family is supposed to represent. It’s just her. Its just Serval.
Cocolia hold her tighter, “Of course, I love you Val, for all the times your father calls you a disappointment, for all the times he looks down on you, I’ll be there for you. You know me Val, I can do many things, but the one thing I can never do is lie to you.”
I tried to choke back my sobs, “I love you too Lia.” Holding her tighter as we lay down on the bad, tired from all the crying. I slowly start to drift off. “I’m sorry, is it okay if I stay the night.”
“I’d prefer that, dear” We both get under the blankets, and despite my better judgement I still hold her close. I feel so warm, but the hurt doesn’t fade away like it usually does.
She loves me, but it’s not the same way I love her…
700 years, the worlds end has been delayed, now time flows once more.