Toni finds the impact that Cheryl’s mood has on her fellow students rather amusing.
She can tell, just from the way that some of the cheerleaders cringe and avoid eye contact when Cheryl as she enters the student lounge, that the redhead isn’t in a particularly good mood today.
Toni watches Cheryl from afar, as she often does, and sees her ransacking cabinets and throwing some no-named girl’s bag on the floor as she searches for something unknown to everyone else.
“Why don’t you just tell us what you’re looking for?” Toni hears Betty try. “Then we can help you look for it.”
“And what good would you lot be?” Cheryl snaps at her in response, and lets out a disgruntled huff before racing to another spot to continue her search.
Toni longs to go to her, to ease the panic she’s obviously feeling over whatever it is she’s misplaced, but she refrains.
…
“Want a hand?” Toni asks when there’s fewer students surrounding them, and less ears to listen in. “Must be pretty important, whatever it is.”
“Toni,” Cheryl says her name quietly through a breath that almost sounds like one of relief. Toni likes how it sounds. She always likes how it sounds rolling out of red lips. “I… It’s nothing. Really.”
“Are you sure?” Toni tries, able to see through Cheryl’s lie immediately. “Four eyes are better than two, you know?”
Cheryl lets out a soft laugh at that, and Toni notes that it’s the first time a smile has graced her face that day. She wants to tell her how pretty she looks, but the words die on her tongue.
“Don’t worry yourself about it… I should get going. As should you, class starts in three minutes.”
“Plenty of time,” Toni shrugs. “I’ll catch you up.”
But Toni doesn’t catch her up.
Instead, she does what any sane person with a crush on the prettiest girl in school would do and makes the decision to skip first period entirely so that she can search for something, anything, that could belong to Cheryl Blossom.
If she wasn’t sure that she would do anything for Cheryl before, their kiss in the locker room only a few days prior confirmed that she would go to the ends of the Earth if it meant Cheryl would wear a genuine smile on her crimson lips.
It could seem miniscule to an outsider - a kiss. But the earth-shattering kiss they had shared? Well, Toni was certain that no one, in the history of the world, had ever had a kiss quite like that.
So, to her, it makes perfect logical sense to risk detention to help the girl she’s pretty certain she’s falling head-over-heels for.
…
She figures keeping her eyes peeled for something red would be a good start and checks the student lounge again, to no avail.
Although, if she had some sort of clue as to what it is that she’s looking for, it might be easier.
What does Cheryl care about? What does she cherish?
Her Vixens are pretty high on that list, so Toni heads for the locker room.
But could a lost pom-pom send Cheryl into such a spiral?
…
Luckily, she’s handy with a bobby-pin, and finds her way into Evelyn’s locker, still weary of her from her previous antics.
“A bible?” Toni scoffs. “Figures.”
She roots through piles of Vixen uniforms, shakes out pom-poms and flicks through books in almost half of the team’s lockers, but there’s nothing in there of Cheryl’s.
She almost feels like giving up, so she takes a seat on the bench and lets her eyes scan the ground, as if she would have missed something in such an obvious place.
And she has.
Because she suddenly catches a glimpse of red from underneath Cheryl’s locker.
She has no time to consider how filthy the floor must be before she’s on her hands and knees, reaching underneath to retrieve whatever it is.
It’s a book, only with a plain cover.
Toni frowns and examines it in her hand for a moment before flicking to the first page.
When the realisation hits over what she’s stumbled upon, a grin spreads across her face.
This is Cheryl’s sketchbook.
The other girl had told her that she likes to draw and paint, but the way she had spoken so casually about it made it seem as though it was like the silly comic book characters Jughead spent his time doodling on the corners of his school work.
But these were… They were beautiful.
The first page is covered in facial features, different lips and eyes, all female she notes. Some of them belong to celebrities she’s seen in the magazines.
She turns the page again, and it’s a drawing of Cheryl herself, sitting proudly in a red cardigan donning the Blossom family crest. Somehow, Cheryl has captured her own pain through just her pencil. Toni knows all too well of that broken look in her eyes, and it both saddens and impresses her how accurately it’s been transferred onto the page.
When she turns the next page, and her eyes cast down on what’s printed upon it, her breath catches in her throat.
Because on the pages, she sees herself, drawn with perfect accuracy.
Down to her headband and pencil skirt, Cheryl had her down to a tee.
And upon further inspection, Toni makes another realisation…
That was their first conversation.
Cheryl had drawn her, entirely from memory, and captured the first moment they shared… The moment that Toni realised that Cheryl really was nothing like her family.
She almost feels like she’s intruding, peeking into Cheryl’s mind like this, and a pang of guilt shoots through her but she can’t stop.
She turns the page, and again, she sees herself.
She’s there, all over the page.
In one corner, she’s leaning over a table, eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips.
The week of the sock-hop, Toni notes, when things began to shift between them.
And beside it, there’s a drawing of Toni glancing downward with a smile gracing her lips, a steaming cappuccino in her hands. Cheryl really did memorise every single detail.
Toni feels overwhelmed.
The drawings, they’re so… They’re beautiful. Cheryl has made her look so beautiful. Is this how she saw her? Is this what Toni looks like through Cheryl Blossom’s eyes?
The thought makes her swoon.
And there, on the next page, are their joint hands from when Toni finally took the plunge and asked Cheryl to dance with her.
There’s a glimpse of their respective dresses on each side of the page, and Toni wonders just how Cheryl had remembered every single detail so perfectly.
Toni continues to turn the pages, and every time, she finds herself looking back.
On one page, there’s just her details - close up drawings of her lips, her eyes, her hands.
And in small letters below the drawing of her lips, there are a few words written.
Oh, how I wish I could kiss her.
Toni’s heart sinks and skips at the same time.
Because now, Cheryl has kissed her.
She can kiss her, whenever the hell she wants.
…
Toni treasures the book in the short time she has it in her possession.
She knows she has to return it to Cheryl, of course she does, but for a little while, it feels nice to have it - like she’s carrying a small piece of Cheryl’s heart around with her, safely tucked away in her backpack.
When the end of the school day rolls around, Toni waits.
Every other student races out of the front doors, but Toni finds herself leaning against Cheryl’s locker, overthinking her stance and wondering if her hair looks okay.
She almost scoffs at herself.
If only Lizzo could see her now.
“Hey, you,” Toni calls out, in her most casual tone, when Cheryl comes strutting down the empty hallway.
“Hey yourself,” Cheryl replies, her face lighting up at the sight of Toni. “Were you… Waiting for me?” Cheryl asks, and her tone isn’t teasing like it sometimes can be, it’s hopeful - soft.
Toni fights back a smile and nods her head in confirmation.
“Wanted to see if you wanted to grab a milkshake with me?”
“A-at Pop’s?” Cheryl stammers, her expression changing by the second. “I would love to but no… No, we couldn’t-”
“Don’t sweat it - I meant The Dark Room. I asked Frankie if he could maybe start whipping up a strawberry milkshake every now and then, I know they’re your favourite.”
Cheryl’s face softens.
“You are…” She sighs, shaking her head as she tries to conceal her smile. “Yes, I’d love to.”
…
“How is it?” Toni asks from her spot beside Cheryl on the couch in one of the darker corners of the coffee house.
“As a loyal customer of Pop’s, it pains me to say this but… This is the best strawberry milkshake I’ve ever had.”
“You gotta let me try then,” Toni tells her, rather than asking, and takes the cold drink from Cheryl’s hands to take a sip. “Mm, that is good.”
“Toni,” Cheryl giggles. “Why didn’t you use the straw? You totally have a strawberry milk-moustache right now.”
Toni’s eyes visibly widen, clearly embarrassed, and she licks her lips to try and get rid of the evidence.
“Let me,” Cheryl breathes, and before Toni can catch her breath, Cheryl’s fingers are resting on her cheek and her thumb is swiping over her top lip.
Her eyes lock on Cheryl’s and, just when she thinks she may faint from the act, Cheryl places her thumb into her mouth.
And doesn’t break eye contact once.
Yep, Toni thinks, I’m a goner.
One kiss from Cheryl Blossom and now she’s the stuttering mess.
…
“I have something for you,” Toni says.
They’re closer on the couch now, as if that were possible, but neither of them can seem to help it.
Toni feels a magnetic pull towards the other girl, and she’s desperate to be closer, closer closer…
“You do?” Cheryl asks softly, not needing to go much above a whisper giving their close proximity.
Toni nods, and reaches for her backpack to retrieve the sketchbook. She knows that she should have given it to her earlier, but she wanted to hang onto it just a little longer.
“I uh… I went looking for what you lost this morning. I didn’t have a clue what I was looking for,” Toni chuckles, as she pulls the red sketchbook from her bag. “But I found it.”
Relief instantly washes over Cheryl’s face, and she reaches out quickly to grab it, almost yanking it from Toni’s grip.
“Toni… You have no idea how relieved I am, I thought I’d… And if it had gotten into the wrong hands, I-”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that, because the only hands it got into were mine.”
The relief Cheryl feels seems to fade in an instant then at Toni’s words.
“Did you…”
“I’m sorry,” Toni begins. “I didn’t know what it was at first, and I opened it and I realised it was yours and… You’re really talented, Cheryl. Your drawings… They’re beautiful, so beautiful.”
“Oh god,” Cheryl breathes, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment as Toni’s words clearly don’t register. “You saw… You- I can’t even imagine what you’re thinking of me. I’m not-”
“Hey,” Toni says softly but firmly, and reaches out to grab Cheryl’s hand. “Aren’t you hearing me? I think that your drawings are beautiful, I think that you’re beautiful and I can’t believe you see me that way too.”
“Really?” Cheryl breathes. “I-I do, Toni. Of course I do. You’re…”
“So are you.”
It’s the perfect moment for a kiss, Toni thinks.
And despite how bold she was a few days ago, she hesitates now, fearing that Cheryl might pull away from her.
But like Cheryl often does, she surprises her.
Because she’s shifting closer to her again, and reaching nervously for her hands.
“Can-Can I?” She asks quietly, her voice barely audible.
“Yes,” Toni breathes, her eyes already closing as she waits for red lips to press against her own.
And god, it’s even better the second time.
Toni’s lost in her all over again, basking in the feeling of full lips moving slowly against her own, slightly more confident than the last time.
They slot into place so perfectly, as if they’ve done this in every lifetime, a thousand times before.
She swallows Cheryl’s sounds of delight as she cups the redhead’s cheek, pulling her in impossibly closer.
And just like last time, they’re the only people in the room, the only people in the universe.
Nothing else matters.
…
“I don’t want to go home…” Cheryl sighs sadly as she glances at the clock on the wall that tells them the night is settling in.
“Me neither,” Toni agrees, absentmindedly playing with Cheryl’s fingers that are laced with her own.
A little bit of Cheryl Blossom isn’t nearly enough.
Toni wants all of her, craves all of her, at every second of the day.
And when they’re apart, she longs for her; their last moments replay in her head repeatedly.
And she wonders if, in the late hours of the night, Cheryl longs for her too.
“My drawings…” Cheryl begins quietly. “They’re the closest thing I have to a photograph of you.”
Toni squeezes her a little bit tighter.
“Can I have one of you?” Toni asks. “A photograph or a drawing…”
“You’d want that?” Cheryl asks, glancing up at her from the spot where her head rests on her shoulder.
“Sure I would,” Toni smiles down at her softly. “I can put you under my pillow.”
Cheryl giggles softly at that, and nods her head in agreement.
They share a look that gives away all of the words they want to say, but are far too fearful to let slip just yet…
It’s too soon, Toni tells herself.
She should be careful, falling so carelessly like this but…
When she looks into Cheryl’s eyes, something tells her that she’s safe, that she’ll catch her.
“Can I walk you home?” Toni asks. “Or close to your home, I mean.”
“I’d like that.”
So, Toni does.
She fights off the urge to reach for Cheryl’s hand as they walk through the bitterly cold streets.
And she doesn’t kiss her goodnight like she so desperately wants to.
And when they edge closer to Thornhill, her chest begins to ache.
But before they part, Cheryl flips to the back of her sketchbook, tears out a page, folds it up and places it in Toni’s hands.
“For your pillow,” Cheryl grins at her.
And Toni’s heart just about bursts when she unfolds the paper to reveal a smiling Cheryl Blossom sketched on the paper. And it’s a genuine smile too - the kind that makes Toni’s heart pound in her chest whenever she’s lucky enough to see it.
“You… You better get home before I kiss you,” Toni chuckles, unable to wipe the lovesick smile from her face.
“Threat or promise?” Cheryl jokes, even though they both know that they couldn’t possibly… It’s far too dangerous, but for a moment, it’s nice to pretend.
“Promise,” She smirks. “So, you better get outta here.”
Cheryl lets out a dreamy sigh and her smile never falters, “Goodnight, Toni.”
“Goodnight, Cher. See you tomorrow?”
“You will… And you can make good on your promise.”
Toni can’t wait.
…
She stands alone in the cold while she watches Cheryl walk away from her and into a house that doesn’t feel like home.
She clutches the picture in her hands a little tighter, and she knows that, while tomorrow feels like forever away, she at least has a little piece of Cheryl to take home with her.
And with that drawing tucked safely beneath her pillow later that night, sleep comes easier for Toni than it has in a long time.