Just for you (I let it happen)

12 hours ago

i. 

"Team A in position. Kate Bishop, Mini Marvel, status report."

Yelena's controlled voice came through the communicators as Kate set up position atop the roof beside Kingpin's current hideout. She pulled her bow over her shoulder, night vision lenses activated as she scanned her surroundings before she responded.

"We're ready, Lena."

"Хороший. Natasha, with me."

Kate remained silent as she watched Yelena enter the building from the north exit that they'd planned on using for weeks. Their mission plan had gone like clockwork; and she was hopeful that finally, they'd be able to catch kingpin and figure out who else was connected to his criminal underworld.

"We are inside. Kate Bishop, you know what to do." Yelena whispered through the comms.

"C'mon, Kamala." Kate urged, pulling her bow and arrow back over her shoulder. "Let's move."

Kamala nodded, using her powers to create a slide directly down. The two checked to ensure no one was following them before hurriedly entering through the west entrance, clearing the tiny room before proceeding into the warehouse.

"Isn't it a little bit empty?" Kamala asked as they caught up with Yelena. "There isn't even anyone guarding the doors."

"Shh, mini marvel." Natasha waved a hand urgently. "You're being way too loud. Remember the plan?"

"In and out. Sorry." Kamala flushed red.

"Everyone stop the talking." Yelena ordered. "Kate Bishop, you come with me. We will clear this side of the building."

"And me?" Kamala asked.

"Natasha will go with you." Yelena said.

Kate nodded. Silently, as practiced, they descended into the heart of the warehouse, the team split up to make sure that no one was going to jump out of the shadows. Kingpin's operations were supposed to be organized from here; but the longer it took to find, well, anyone, the more agitated Yelena became.

"It would seem he knows we are here." Yelena murmured.

"But....if that's true.....aren't we walking into a trap?" Kate asked, wide eyed.

Yelena opened her mouth to respond, but never managed to say anything. Without a hint of warning, a bullet was fired, whizzing past Kate's ear and hitting the glass window behind her. "Shit." Kate swore. "Lena, get down."

"I am fine, Kate Bishop, but you-"

"Yelena! Это засада!" Natasha yelled.

"No shit!" Yelena yelled back. "Kate Bishop, look out-"

Kate barely missed being stabbed as a younger man ran towards her brandishing a large knife. Yelena pulled her gun and fired, hitting him directly in the chest, his body crumpling like a sack. "What the hell was that, Kate Bishop?” 

"What do you mean?" Kate spluttered. "What happened to neutralize, not kill?"

Before Yelena could respond, a second guard came rushing in, gun pointed at Kate yet again. Time slowed for a moment. She reached for her arrow, indecision etched into her features as she hesitated.

"Kate Bishop!" Yelena yelled. "Ебать, shoot him!"

"I can't!" Kate yelled back. "What did he do?"

"Besides trying to kill you?" Yelena snapped, sending a swift kick to the man's chest and knocking him unconscious.

Alarms blared, lights flashed, and gunfire erupted in the cramped space. Kate refused to make eye contact with Yelena, who was silently fuming as Natasha and Kamala caught up to them. "What the hell was that?" Natasha asked, wide eyed.

"Kate-"

"Not the time!" Kamala yelled, panicked. "These guys aren't exactly taking prisoners!"

Kate spun around as she heard a gun cock, the man pointing the gun at Kamala herself. She pulled an arrow out, nocking it and taking aim at the man's arm.

“Shoot him, Kate!” Yelena yelled, shooting a man directly behind the archer. “Do not be stupid."

“I can’t just—he hasn’t done anything!” Kate shot back. "We're supposed to be going after kingpin, not these guys-"

“Oh for god's sake, маленький ястреб, We are not playing the nice people.” Yelena countered, frustration boiling over as she took down another guard. "We are here for information, and they are trying to kill us-"

"Guys, not the time." Natasha interrupted. "Let's get the hell out of here."

Yelena grumbled something in Russian that Kate didn't catch, shooting and killing another man as she made a run for the exit. Kate swallowed the bile that rose up in the back of her throat as they left, barely making it into the helicopter as a swarm of heavily armed men rushed out after them.

I.

Kate is pissed off.

Scratch that. Pissed off isn't the right word; she's not sure she's felt this angry since she found out that her mom had put a hit on her childhood hero. Heart thumping in her chest, pupils dilated from adrenaline; she's so emotional right now, Kate wonders if she's going to vomit from the sheer weight of it all.

Or maybe that nausea is coming from the memory rolling on repeat in her brain right now. Maybe being angry is easier than coming to terms with how she's actually feeling, and the fight she's currently stuck in. Maybe, if she sees that kid die one more time, she's going to lose her mind.

Kate really, really, isn't used to Yelena being pissed off with her.

She's even less used to being angry with Yelena.

And maybe she wouldn't feel this angry with the blonde if it weren't for her own feelings, which she hates to silently admit, might be affecting her thinking process.

"This is ridiculous, Kate Bishop. He aims for you, you don't aim back? I do not understand." Yelena grinds the words out, accent even stronger when she's angry. "Do not give me that look. Answer."

"I wasn't about to kill a guy that did absolutely nothing wrong." Kate snaps. "How do you know that he wasn't just in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

"Да, because every person who is holding gun, he is in wrong place at wrong time." Yelena sneers. "You are blind to reality, Kate Bishop."

"I am not, you are. You do realize that we're supposed to be the good guys? That it's our job to stop people who blindly kill, not become just like them?"

"Your stupid avengers did not ask for me to be here so that I could lose fights. They want me because I am the best. And you, маленький ястреб, are foolish."

"Why, because I didn't want to kill someone?" Kate demands. "Because you killing him is so much better. What, you don't think that the guy who I didn't kill might one day realize that he doesn't want to be on the side of people who kill for fun?"

"No." Yelena answers simply. "I do not."

"This is the problem, you only see the bad in people, Lena, and there's more to life than-"

"No, I do not see only bad." Yelena narrows her eyes, her tone filled with hurt. "I see what is true. I see bad people who do bad things. I see bad people who will do more bad things if I do not stop them. You are just rich little girl, but you do not see what I have seen."

"I know that, Lena-"

"You do not know that!" Yelena finally raises her voice, and she's livid. Kate wonders if she's pushed too far; but she's reckless, and passionate, and she isn't afraid of Yelena; so rather than pull back, she folds her arms defiantly as Yelena continues. "That man, he could be anything. Trafficker, criminal, murderer. I do not care if he is in wrong place at wrong time. I know he is criminal."

"Oh, sure, you can just look at someone and judge that they're a bad guy?" Kate scoffs. "Don't give me that shit. If you didn't care about his life, just say so."

"сука. Forget it. I do not want to talk about this with you." Yelena says. "I am finished with this conversation."

"Yelena-"

"You are going to get yourself killed." Yelena snaps. "I will not feel bad because I kill a person who will try to hurt you, Kate Bishop, and your attitude is ridiculous."

Kate throws her head back to fight the angry retorts coming to mind. Fighting about this isn't going to help anyone feel better. They never fight, not them; Yelena is her best friend, has been since she first showed up on a mission 8 months ago that Kate was on.

She always agrees with Yelena. She always wants Yelena around, and she's never been angry at her before.

But as Yelena leaves the room, Kate can't help but feel a little relieved. She needs the space, because right now she's furious.

Kate hasn't been on a mission that's gone so horribly wrong before; and it's her first real mission where Yelena has been in charge. She's never gone with Yelena before, not like this, and it was supposed to be simple.

In and out, get the intel and leave.

Kate's way of dealing with an unexpected situation is to try and run.

Yelena's? She never anticipated it being that Yelena would take out anyone who got in her way, didn't realize that Yelena wouldn't care about killing innocent people.

Even now, 5 hours later, she's still angry and on edge. Clint can't calm her down, so he sends Natasha; and Kate hates her about as much as she hates herself, right now.

"Kate, it's just a mission that went really, really wrong." Natasha says gently. "I know you don't agree with Yelena-"

"Did you?" Kate asks. "Am I overreacting?"

Natasha hesitates, like maybe she doesn't want to say what she's really thinking. "Look kid. Sam and Fury wanted Yelena here because she's different. She's not an avenger, you get me? She's just....Yelena. A widow who's really fucking good at her job, and who will do whatever it takes to complete a mission. They expect her to do shit like that."

Kate rolls her eyes. "If this is your way of helping me feel better, it's not working."

That much is true; because the only person who ever helps her feel better when she's this pissed off is also the same person responsible for her being this pissed off in the first place, and she hates that she wants to cuddle with Yelena as much as she wants to bite her head off.

"I'm not trying to help you feel better. I'm asking you to see it from Yelena's point of view. You two are so close. Why let something so stupid destroy it?" Natasha asks gently.

"I don't want to destroy anything. I just can't believe that she's mad at me for hesitating to kill somebody. Why am I wrong for wanting to do the right thing?" Kate grumbles.

"Does being right really matter if it ends up like this?" Natasha asks.

"No." Kate reluctantly admits. "Not really."

"Then why are you perpetuating the fight?"

Kate sighs. "Fine. I guess you're right."

"Damn right I am." Natasha grins.

Kate shakes her head, slightly amused, and stands up, dusting her hands from the chips she's been eating before she offers Natasha an appreciative nod and exits the dorm. She's still on edge, still a little annoyed, but Natasha is right. Nothing, not being right, not another person surviving or dying, not life itself, really, is worth shit if she were to lose Yelena.

It's a once off. A bad situation that they both reacted to differently. Why should she be mad at Yelena for that?

She finds Yelena in the widow's dorm. Yelena won't open her door, no matter how many times Kate knocks, so she goes into her own room and slips through the connected door.

"Go away, Kate Bishop." Yelena orders when she sees her. "I do not want to see you."

"Sunshine-"

"I am mad at you." Yelena insists as Kate walks towards her and sits on the bed next to the blonde, who is curled up in Kate's sweater and pouting like a child. She shoots Kate a dirty look as the archer wiggles into place beside her.

"I know you are. I'm sorry." Kate says softly. "I was emotional, and that mission was a mess, and I shouldn't have gotten so angry."

Yelena looks at her and frowns. "I want you to be safe."

"I know." Kate acknowledges.

"And you are silly. Reckless. You do not think." Yelena continues.

"That's....a little mean, but true." Kate winces.

Yelena turns her body around to face Kate and grabs her shirt collar, tugging her forward to look at her seriously. "If you repeat this to anyone, I will kill you, Kate Bishop."

"Ummm-" Kate flushes red, a little too distracted by the feeling of Yelena's fingertips brushing against her neck.

"I am sorry too." Yelena says quietly. It pulls her back to the present, and guilt worms it's way into her system once again. "I got very angry, but you were trying to help."

"It's okay, Sunshine." Kate assures. "Let's just......put it behind us, okay?"

"Да." Yelena acknowledges. She cuddles into Kate's side and Kate wraps an arm around her.

The rest of their night passes without incident. Later, Natasha walks by the room to find the two cuddled up and giggling together over the show that they're watching, amusement lighting up her eyes as she shakes her head and continues to her own room.

2 weeks later, the man that Kate didn't shoot is identified as a person of interest by Interpol and the FBI - responsible for the trafficking of over 200 children below the age of 10.

3 hours after this information is found, his body is located; torn limb from limb, burn and stab marks visible on every single part of his skin.

Yelena does not tell Kate that she was right.

Kate doesn't know that the man died anyway, and that their fight had been all for nothing.

ii.

It's a freezing cold evening in the middle of November.

Kate is on a rooftop with Yelena.

Again.

She hates the cold, and she hates snow, and really, she just hates everything about this mission; it's to save widows, who still, to this day, are under subjugation.

This is Yelena's mission, and as such, they're following her plan. Said plan? Kill everyone who gets in the way of saving the widow; a young girl, barely 16, who they only just learned has been right under their noses for the past 3 months. Kate doesn't think she's ever seen Yelena react to anything that quickly.

She's honestly surprised that Yelena would take her with them on this mission.

Their opinions on fighting don't change; and it's putting a strain on their.....friendship. They've been sent on 4 missions together in the past 3 months, and Kate can't help it. When push comes to shove, she never takes the shot; and Yelena always will.

Yelena thinks she is weak.

Kate thinks Yelena is too quick to kill.

What started off as a little argument over whether or not a thug should be shot has become a much bigger problem; and even when they're not fighting over their mission styles, they're still awkward around each other.

Their last mission together had been a few weeks ago, and things had finally returned to a sense of normalcy. Sure, Yelena might not come into her room after dark to cuddle anymore, and maybe there aren't as many cute nicknames and inside jokes, but things are as normal as they can be, and Kate will take what she can get.

She had never expected an assassin to come into her life, but once she had her? Losing Yelena feels like a piece of her heart is being torn out.

The problem is that she can't find a way to let go of her reluctance to kill, something that, conversely, Yelena refuses to develop.

So avoiding discussions of a mission of any kind is the best way to keep the peace. 

Except Yelena then asked her to accompany her on this assignment, and she's really not sure what is going to happen.

If she's lucky? They won't need to do anything dangerous, because it's just a widow, and everyone knows they can protect themselves. But Kate is never lucky, and she's not lucky today, and she really hates that she's got such bad luck because this entire situation is still making her chest ache painfully, even now, 12 hours later.

"Okay. You understand plan?" Yelena asks, seriously, face a mask of indifference and determination because that's what Yelena is like, on a mission, and Kate can't tell if she's scared or turned on by the idea of it.

"Yep. We get in, knock out the henchmen, use the antidote and get the hell out."

"Widows who get out of mind control, they are......a little crazy. She will not be herself. We must do the hard part of getting out, Kate Bishop." Yelena says seriously.

"I know." Kate assures.

Yelena offers a tiny smile.

That's all the warning she gets before the widow launches into action.

The facility is eerily quiet as Yelena and Kate creep through the entryway, the faint sound of muffled voices echoing in the distance. Kate knows the plan, but she also knows the look on Yelena's face. The guards aren't fazing her. She will do whatever it takes to free the widow, even if it means stepping over bodies to get there.

Kate gets it, she does; having your free will taken away isn't fair, and Yelena knew how that felt. Except she's not sure why Yelena is so determined to eliminate every single person who gets in the way.

Not when they could do something else to neutralize them, and it would be just as effective.

"Kate Bishop." Yelena pulls her attention, a deep scowl on her face. "Listen to me. They will kill you if you do not kill them. We get in, we get Anya, we run."

"Lena, we can avoid killing people if we're careful." Kate insists. "I can prove it, if you just-"

"It is yes or no question, Kate Bishop." Yelena cuts her off.

"Fine. No." Kate says. "I'm not going to just take out people for fun. I don't think it's-"

“Think? They will not think twice about killing you, or me, or Anya. This is important to me." Yelena snaps, her voice sharp. "Focus. Do not think."

Before Kate can respond, Yelena is kicking the door open, and she has no choice but to follow her inside. The sight before them is haunting, something she cannot unsee and she's not really sure she ever will; a Widow, strapped to a chair, her eyes vacant, the remnants of mind control visibly etched on her features.

In retrospect, Kate wishes she'd just done what Yelena asked.

“Antidote, now." Yelena orders.

Kate tosses her the tiny vial and Yelena sprays it in the widow's face. At that moment, it really looks like everything is going to plan. The young widow is coming to, her eyes wide with confusion.

"Where.....where am I?" She asks.

"You are in New York. Hurry, we must get you out before it is too-"

Yelena doesn't get to say 'late' because an alarm starts blaring. Before they can so much as blink, armed men begin rushing into the building. Kate can see them all from the window where her arrow is nocked and ready to fire; and yet, she hesitates, sending her and Yelena into another fight.

"What are you doing?" Yelena yells.

"I....I think-"

"What did I tell you about thinking, Kate Bishop?" Yelena demands. "It is not worth the effort-"

A guard breaks into the room and Kate fires an arrow that hits the archway above his head; sending a soundwave that knocks him and his partner unconscious. "See? We can fight them without-"

"What, you want to fight trained killers without killing?" Yelena spits. "They will not hesitate to kill you, Kate Bishop. Anya! Мы должны уйти. Kate Bishop if you do not fire one of your explody arrows I will kill you myself." 

"Fine!" Kate snaps. She aims the arrow out of the window and fires, sending the arrow straight through the glass, purposefully hitting an abandoned car. The explosion startles several of the men, who, instead of running towards the building, start running away. 

"This is not what I meant." Yelena scowls. 

"Yelena- 

"No more talking. Now we move." Yelena orders, helping Anya to stand. Her gun is in her hand the entire way along; she's got her finger on the trigger as Kate continues to look for ways to disable, not kill, while Yelena insists that they are wasting time. 

It takes them 20 minutes to get out of the building. 

When they finally do, Yelena launches a grenade into the building and blows it up anyway. 

Kate wants to kill her. 

"What the actual fuck was that?" Kate yells as they drive off. 

"Do not question me, Kate Bishop, this was your fault." Yelena snaps. 

"How? I saved people, and then you went and killed them!" Kate splutters. 

"They were criminals! You cannot fight fire with....with water, Kate Bishop! Бог, this is ridiculous." 

"So.....who are you?" Anya asks. 

Her soft, timid voice pulls both Kate and Yelena's attention from their argument. Kate's expression softens; Yelena's hardens, and she massages her temples as she takes a calming breath. "I am Yelena. This is Kate Bishop." 

"Yelena....Belova?" Anya whispers. "Drekov's weapon." 

"Hmm. My reputation, it precedes me." Yelena rolls her eyes. "Да, это я. Kate Bishop is.....here to help, but she is not helping." 

"I did too-" 

"Shut up, Bishop." Yelena snaps. 

Kate reels back, hurt. She's never heard Yelena call her anything but her full name; and this level of separation, it hurts. "Lena-" 

"No. I do not want to hear anything from you." Yelena sneers. "Anya, we will take you to the avengers compound, and then you can choose what next. There are many widows in Ohio, or you can stay with us, it is your decision." 

"Да." Anya says. "I....I am confused." 

Yelena's abrupt tone softens as she explains to the young girl, who falls asleep a little later, only minutes before they arrive at the compound. Kate, who still can't get Yelena to even look at her, scoops the teenager up and carries her off the Quinjet, down the steps and into the med-bay, where Laura is waiting. 

"You don't look particularly happy." Laura comments softly. "Rough mission?" 

"It is when your partner," She growls the word like it offends her, and Yelena glares back just as defiantly, "refuses to compromise." 

"Do you know how many girls are bought, against their will, by these men? Anya is not the first to have been bought. Hundreds of widows are killed by these men, and....they just buy more. And you are angry at me for....for killing them? If we don't, they will keep going, Bishop. You are a fool if you think differently." 

"I'm not mad at you for that. I'm mad because you're angry that I won't kill. If you want more blood on your hands, be my fucking guest, but don't you dare expect me to join you." 

"You are pushing too far." Yelena sneers. "This is last time I ever ask you to come with me on a mission." 

"Girls-" 

"Oh well that's great, because at least if I'm not there I won't need to wonder about how many people die at your hands." Kate snaps back. 

Yelena takes a step back, her eyes widening. Kate realizes her mistake too late as the widow rears back, slaps her clear across the face, and storms out of the med-bay. 

Laura massages her temples as Kate swears, loudly, and wakes Anya. 

"Елена? Где ты?" Anya calls, panicking. 

"It's okay, Anya." Kate whispers. "She just needs a breather." 

"Will you stay?" Anya asks with teary eyes. 

"I will." Kate promises. She pulls a chair over and sits next to the young widow, trying to chat with her about everything and anything that she can think of. 

But Yelena is in the back of her mind, like she always is. 

She doesn't make an effort to find Yelena and say sorry. She doesn't take back what she said, and she doesn't sleep. Kate sits beside Anya all night, and as the young widow sleeps, Kate wonders if maybe she's pushed this just a little too far. 

Kate later learns that this particular group of men had tried to buy Yelena, once. That Valentina had sent her undercover to get rid of them, but that Yelena hadn't been able to complete the mission, blipped away before she could. 

The archer then realizes that Yelena blames herself for Anya's imprisonment. She knows then that Yelena killed them for the exact reason she said she did; so they can't ever hurt another widow. 

Kate wants to accept it, she really does. 

But every time she closes her eyes, she sees the burning building, and she hates knowing that Yelena, she same girl she cuddles with, the same girl she has seen grin cheekily and steal snacks and bounce around when a new episode of her favorite show comes out, that Yelena, is willing to kill people who get in her way - criminal or not. 

iii.

Yelena isn't talking to her. 

In fact, she hasn't spoken to, not so much as looked at, Kate, for 4 weeks now. Kate hates it. Almost as much as she hates knowing that it's her fault in the first place. 

Anya takes about a week to settle in. Kate spends much of her time with the young widow; though, when she shows up to see her and Yelena is there, things are awkward for a few minutes before Yelena gets up and marches out, without sparing Kate a sideways glance. 

It really fucking hurts. 

And she's not sure what to do about it. 

You see, to fix this, she'd need to admit that she was wrong; and still, even now, Kate can't find it in herself to compromise on this. Yelena says she's fighting for the good guys; so isn't she the one who needs to? 

Don't good guys, by nature of being, well, good, avoid harming the innocent? 

Why isn't anyone else telling her this? 

"Kid. Sam wants us in the big room. Got some mission we've got to tackle. Do you want to grab Yelena?" Clint asks, poking his head into her room. 

"Not sure if you've noticed, but we're not really talking." Kate responds quietly. "I'm not sure she's going to listen to shit that I say." 

"You guys still aren't over this, huh?" 

"You're seriously asking me this?" Kate grumbles. "She's killing people at a whim, Clint." 

"And you're stubbornly ignoring her history, like it's not a massive part of the person she is today." Clint responds calmly. "Yelena has gone through the worst thing a human can go through. She's been forced to eat, sleep, kill, against her will, for most of her life. It's not your job to tell her that how she's working isn't acceptable, kid." 

"But what if she's doing something that's wrong?" 

"When right and wrong start becoming more important than the person who you're arguing with, then you deserve to lose them." Clint sighs. "You've got to be the one to fix this, Kate. Yelena's hurt, and you're keeping it like this?" 

"Look I don't need a lecture, okay?" Kate snaps. 

Clint holds his hands up in surrender. "I'll send Nat to get Yelena. See you in the room." 

She's such an idiot. She can't believe that she's now getting angry at Clint because of this. 

It seems that Sam is wholly unaware of the situation, because he calls them in and decides that they're going to be on a team, trying to complete an extremely time sensitive mission.

"Alrighty guys. Fury's got a mole on board his substation. So far, 3 people have been killed, and a piece of very valuable intel and research has been stolen from their Lab. We've tracked that intel to a warehouse north of LA. The problem is that it's being heavily guarded by widows, and I think we're all keenly aware that we don't want to be engaging with highly trained assassins." 

"So what is plan?" Yelena demands. "How many widows are there?" 

"We've identified 4." Sam says. "So we're sending all of you there to retrieve the data, and help Yelena free the widows. Natasha, Wanda, I'll have you in charge of actually getting the data back. Yelena, Kate, I need you to work together to free the widows. How you do that is entirely up to you." 

Kate's about to say something, she really is. 

Yelena doesn't give her a chance. "Okay." 

She spins around to look at the widow, but Yelena ignores her; refuses to make eye contact, and continues to listen with laser focus. 

Kate is more than a little hurt; and it's worse because she knows that she's just as responsible as Yelena is. 

Sam continues debriefing them, and she waits for him to warn about not killing, for him to say something, anything, about not taking the 'last resort' as a normal action. 

He doesn't. 

Natasha knows something is wrong between them; it's written all over her face, and now Clint knows, and Kate can feel it; something is about to go terribly, terribly wrong.

The night air is thick with tension as Yelena and Kate make their way to the Quinjet. Natasha and Wanda awkwardly try to fill the cabin with chatter, but it only seems to make it worse, and Kate hates that she can't find a way to fix this. 

Worse, she hates that she wishes Yelena would back down, and make it easier on her, because really, deep down, she knows she's probably over-reacting.

Silently, she resolves not to argue with Yelena over what she does or doesn't do. 

That plan goes to shit very quickly. 

They creep towards the entrance after getting the plan clear with Wanda and Natasha. They'll get inside, neutralize the guards, and start freeing the widows. In the chaos, Wanda and Nat will get the intel back and then help them free whoever is left. 

Alone, and without really thinking it through before she says anything, Kate nudges Yelena's arm as they get through the doors. Yelena turns to glare at her, and Kate swallows. 

What was it that she'd meant to say? 

"Um.....are we....are we still-" 

"Spit it out, Kate Bishop." Yelena snaps. "We have mission." 

"I'm sorry, about uh....the other day." 

"Now? You decide this.....now?" Yelena grumbles. "Fine. Whatever, I do not care." 

"Well.....it kinda still seems like you care, Sunshine." 

"Do not call me this." Yelena narrows her eyes. "Your thinking, it hasn't changed." 

"How would you know?" 

"Kill him. He's in the way, he has a gun, he will shoot at you." Yelena snaps out the order as she hacks through the security doors, and Kate swallows, hesitates, and shakes her head. 

"I can't." Kate whispers. 

"I am resting the case." Yelena rolls her eyes. 

Kate feels even worse than she did before. Yelena manages to get through the security door right as the guard realizes they are there; and, rather than kill him, presses hard on his pressure point which quickly knocks him out. 

Kate opens her mouth to say something and Yelena shoots her a dirty look, effectively silencing her.

The interior is dimly lit, filled with a faint hum of machinery. Kate knows they're probably being watched; she keeps an arrow ready, and Yelena keeps her gun in her hand. They move cautiously, taking in their surroundings.

“There they are,” Kate whispers. “We need to get them out.”

“Нет, focus on guards first,” Yelena replies, already scanning the area. “We cannot free them if we are dead.”

Kate nods, slowly. "How are we going to-" 

"When I give signal, fire an arrow at the window. The sound will draw them here. We take them all out at once." Yelena says, seriously. 

"Wait, what if....what if we distract them?" Kate interrupts quickly. 

"Это снова мы." Yelena grumbles softly. "This is why you are mini hawk and I am widow. You cannot.....distract men with big guns, Kate Bishop, how do you plan to survive?" 

Kate tries not to get offended, she really does. But Yelena's words sting. She's had to prove herself to Sam, to Clint, to Captain Marvel, Fury, hell, Natasha even. But Yelena? 

Yelena's believed in her since day one. Yelena has been patient and she's taught her things and she's supported her all the way. To lose that trust....it cuts straight to her heart, and it's all she can do to not start crying. 

God, what has she done?

"Look, we don't know how many people are here, Lena. If we fight them, they could easily call for backup. It's easier to distract them." Kate tries to reason. 

Yelena's dark look....darkens even further. She doesn't agree, Kate can see it, and she's not going to be able to convince Yelena before it's too late. Without waiting for Yelena's permission, or really even thinking through what she's going to do (in hindsight, this is really, really stupid, but Kate always rushes into things without thinking first) she aims the arrow she's holding towards a stack of crates at the opposite end of the room.

The widow glares at her, but as she does, both guards turn to look at the two agents. “Now,” Kate urges. "Before they call for help." 

Yelena lunges at the nearest guard, subduing him with a quick strike, while Kate follows suit with the second, her training kicking in as she grapples him to the ground. He lands a punch in the face, but she's fine, really; and Kate's a little smug that it worked. 

"You are insane." Yelena accuses, but she can't help smiling slightly, and it's the happiest Kate has felt in weeks. 

Finally, this is progress. 

It doesn't last for very long. 

They jump into action, using the keycard that one of the guards has attached to his jacket to open the first large door. It's quicker than hacking into it would've been; but the problem is that there's a second glass door, and behind that door? 

All 4 of the subjegated widows that Yelena and Kate are suppose to free. 

Kate knows what will happen the moment they open that door. They'll have a few, precious seconds, to try to get into the room, give them the antidote, then pray that Nat and Wanda have the intel so they can get the hell out before reinforcements come. 

And therein lies the cause for their next fight; the one that makes everything go so horribly, terribly wrong; to a level that not even Kate is really anticipating. 

"How do we get in?" Yelena muttered under her breath. "Kate, the card....it does not work." 

It's the fact that Yelena calls her Kate that warns the archer. Yelena really is worried about this. 

"Don't worry, Lena. There has to be a way to override it.” Kate assures. "Let's just-" 

"We do not have time." Yelena waves a hand. She measures up the size of the door with her eyes, and before Kate can ask what she's going to do, Yelena looks at her. "Get back." 

"What?" Kate asks, confused. 

"Move back." Yelena repeats. 

"Well, okay, but-" Kate starts. 

Yelena pulls her gun and shoots at the glass. "We break it, we get them out." 

"Wait, Yelena, we're supposed to be drawing as little attention as possible." Kate blurts. "We don't want to tell them we're here." 

Despite her protests, Yelena doesn't listen, her focus entirely on the damned glass door. Kate pulls back a net arrow, ready to fire it at the men who are more than likely about to come rushing upstairs. She quickly glances back at Yelena, who's resorted to kicking the door, and finally, it gives. 

Immediately, Yelena breaks the vial of antidote into the face of the first widow, and then the second. Kate feels, for a second, that maybe it will be fine, and it's at that precise moment that an alarm starts blaring, red lights flashing violently above them. “Shit!” Kate groans, her heart racing. “We have to move, now."

"I am aware, Kate Bishop." Yelena huffs. "Widows are okay, but......they are not in fighting position." 

As she speaks, armed guards rush up and Kate can see them at the door. "We do not have a choice, Kate Bishop. It is small room. We can take them out and have it finished." 

"I'm not doing that." Kate argues. "There's got to be another way to get out of here." 

"Listen to me. My sister, she is upstairs, and so is her girlfriend. I do not care what you want. We are all in danger." Yelena says seriously. "Get your shit together, Kate Bishop." 

"I'm together just fine, I just-" 

The door gives way, and immediately, the bullets start flying. Kate can see Yelena's expectant face, but she can't do it. She won't, and maybe the widow realizes; because instead, Yelena takes aim at the first guard and shoots, not missing her target, and as his body crumples to the floor, she shoots again with the same result. 

"Yelena!" Kate yells. "This is a rescue mission-"

"Fuck off, Kate!" Yelena yells back. "They are trying to kill us! What is wrong with you?" 

"Wrong with me-" 

Yelena's gun jams as she speaks. Kate doesn't notice, because she's too shocked at the bodies lying on the floor. "Shit, I am jammed, Kate-" 

But she can't. 

Kate doesn't know why, but she just....can't. 

God, she really hates herself later.

One of the guards seems to realize that Yelena isn't shooting; and Kate, in her stubborn refusal to shoot or help, really, doesn't notice this, either. In the seconds it takes Yelena to fix her gun, the man has taken aim, fired, and.....he doesn't totally miss. 

She hears the sound of Yelena's pained groan before she realizes that the widow has been shot. 

"Lena? Are you okay?" Kate panics. 

Yelena fires her gun at the guy and he too, crumples to the ground. She then turns to glare at Kate, glancing down at her arm, which is now pissing blood, and then the widows, 3 of whom have passed out. 

"If you don't help me, we are all going to die." Yelena grinds out. "I am bleeding. I will be fine. But they are trying to kill us, so please-" 

"Oh my god guys, what the hell is going on? Yelena, ты в порядке?" Natasha blurts. 

Wanda's magic envelopes the room, but Kate doesn't notice. Yelena is bleeding, the alarms, and bullets have stopped, and the scarlet witch is levitating the girls out of the room. 

But Kate is frozen. 

"Lena, you have to let me help." Kate insists, storming over. 

"You have done enough." Yelena sneers, taking a step back. "Do you feel good now? You are happy, no? You didn't kill anyone. That was my job. Now I am injured, but at least you still feel like a good person." 

"Don't you give me that-" Kate starts, but Natasha holds up a hand. 

"Alright, alright. Yelena, I have the emergency kit in the car. Let's go, the both of you." Natasha orders. "Yelena? Что здесь происходит?" 

"Nothing." Yelena narrows her eyes. "I promise." 

Natasha frowns, but says nothing else. Despite her best efforts, Yelena won't even look in Kate's direction, and it only gets worse after she's patched up and they begin heading to the debrief room to see Sam. 

She shouldn't start a fight right now. 

She really shouldn't. 

But she does. 

And it's not even on purpose. 

"Yelena, come on. You can't-" 

"Of all the people in the world, you are the only person I do not want to hear saying what I can not do, Kate." Yelena cuts her off. "Please shut up." 

"Look, I didn't want you to kill anybody. I wanted everyone to get out, unharmed. Instead you started shooting and then you get mad at me for being uncomfortable with that?" 

"What did you think you were getting into when you became avenger?" Yelena demands. "What, you think they do not ever kill people? Natasha was an avenger when she killed Drekov. Maybe she failed, but she knew his daughter was inside. She still did it anyway.” 

"That's different-" 

"And what of all those people you killed with your explody arrows over Christmas last year? Do not tell me that you honestly think you did not harm anyone. You blew up cars, Kate Bishop! They were bad, yes, but you still kill them! You are just a coward. You think it will make you better person, but all it would do is make you weak." 

"Says you?" Kate snaps, offended.

"Yes." Yelena says, not getting it. "I do say." 

"My mom killed people because it suited her. I'm not about to sit here and kill someone because they're in my way, Yelena. I know that maybe an assassin can't understand that-" 

"Do not bring my past into this." Yelena snaps. "It was out of my control." 

"But what you're doing now isn't. You're choosing to kill people. How is that any better than doing it now?" 

Yelena looks at Kate like she's just murdered her puppy. 

"How dare you?" 

And Kate realizes that she's made a very, very big mistake. 

"All I'm saying is that you can't kill people just because, okay? And treating me like shit because I don't want to isn't going to change my mind." Kate finishes. 

"So you are telling me that after you allowed me to be shot, refused to engage target, and nearly ended up killing your entire team, that I am problem." 

"That's not what-" 

"And that everything I have done, it is worthless, because I see the truth in what is happening around me?" Yelena continues. 

"Again, not what-" 

"You forget something very important, Kate Bishop." Yelena snarls, and here is the assassin she knows so very well. "The man you refused to kill on our first mission? He assaulted many people, and then killed them. The men who you think are so innocent? They have helped to kill and buy hundreds of widows, and after they die, they just buy more. They know that someone is being controlled, against their will, and they do not care." 

"They're not good people, I get it-" 

"No you do not get it!" Yelena explodes. "You are missing the point! There will always be terrible people in the world, Kate Bishop. They will hit you with fire. If you do not fight back with fire, do you know what happens? You die. You must hit the bad people so hard, they cannot get back up, or people like me keep getting hurt. I am not killing innocent people. I am killing people who deserve to die. The world will be safer when they are gone." 

"So you get to decide who lives and dies?" Kate asks weakly. She's realizing that her argument isn't holding weight against Yelena's words, but the idea of taking a life....she just can't. 

She wishes Yelena wouldn't see her as weak because of it.

“It is no different than heroes who say that losing one person is okay if they save many others, Kate Bishop. You are angry with me because I would not sacrifice you, or Natasha, but I will not say sorry for this.” Yelena retorts. 

"Ladies." Sam clears his throat and cuts their conversation. "I take it the mission didn't go so well." 

"We are fine." Yelena snaps. "Natasha has the intel." 

"Perfect. Kate, let's get something very clear." Sam says, arms folded, with Clint on his other side looking decidedly uncomfortable. "Yelena is here because she needs resources to free the widows. She is not an avenger. She is not obligated to keep someone alive if they are trying to kill her. And it is not your place to say otherwise." 

"Yes sir." Kate manages. She feels incredibly guilty, but Sam isn't done. 

"Everything she's done since she has come here has been to protect and help other people. As of right now, you are no longer permitted to go on any missions that Yelena is going on." Sam finishes. 

"Forget this, Sam Wilson." Yelena straightens her shoulders. "I am no longer staying at the complex. I do not need your resources anymore."

"Yelena-" Natasha starts, but Yelena waves a hand. 

"Нет." Yelena interrupts. "I will be gone by morning." 

Kate's blood runs cold. She really should say something, anything, but she's frozen, and Yelena isn't about to change her mind. The widow leaves the room in silence, and Kate stands there, mouth hanging open, while Clint glares at her and so does, well, everyone else in the room. 

"Yelena, wait!" She calls, running out after the widow. 

Yelena, it seems, is nowhere to be found. Kate rushes up to their room and tries, both Yelena's door, and their connected one. It doesn't open, and there's not a single sound of movement from the room. 

Despite all her best efforts, she doesn't see Yelena at all that night. 

Kate can't sleep as a result. 

She tosses and turns, replaying the entire day's events over and over, wishing she'd shut her mouth. But nothing lets her sleep, and come daybreak, she's so tired that she finally passes out from exhaustion. Kate manages 2 hours before Natasha barges in and yanks her from her bed. 

"Go and fix this, Bishop." Natasha demands. "She's a fucking mess." 

"Yeah, well? She doesn't want to see me." Kate retorts. "So maybe that's your job. I don't even know where the hell she's gone to." 

Natasha curses and storms out of the room. 

Kate hates herself so much that she can't even stand to look in the mirror. 

iv.

The first few days without Yelena are hell. 

Kate can't sleep; and it shows. Dark purple bags have taken permanent residence under her eyes, and no matter what she does, Kate can't even seem to relax long enough to get a quick nap in. 

Tracing Yelena's calls is pointless, the widow hasn't picked up a phone since she left. She can't text her, Melina and Alexei haven't seen her, Natasha can't even get in touch with her, and Kate has never, ever, regretted doing something more in her entire life. 

The guilt overwhelms her, and at night, when she's trying to sleep, all she can see is the hurt look on Yelena's face as she'd accused her of enjoying the kill. 

God, she's a terrible person. 

Kate knows that Yelena is right. Deep down, she probably is a coward. Killing someone who's trying to kill you? The law calls it self defense. Hell, law-enforcement does it on a regular basis, and yet she's dragging Yelena over the coals because, what, she killed someone who was trying to kill, not just her, but her entire team and the other widows? 

God, she's pathetic. She couldn't have been a worse friend if she'd tried. 

She doesn't blame Yelena if the widow never, ever, trusts her, nor wants to speak to her, again. 

This revelation comes on night 6 of not sleeping. 

By night 7, she's prying her eyes open with adrenaline and as much coffee as one can legally drink without dying.

Finally, though, after a particularly grueling mission, on night 8, her body finally lets her sleep for more than 10 minutes, and as it hits her system, just how exhausted she is, Kate goes into such a deep sleep that she doesn't wake up for 15 hours. 

It's relieving, but the clarity of her mind only makes room for even more guilt, and self loathing. Something that hits her every single time Natasha walks past and shoots her a dirty, disappointed look. Something that makes her stomach sink every single time she walks by their connected room, only to remember that Yelena isn't in there.

Something that she feels deep inside, whenever she finds a funny joke and there’s no Yelena to tell, or she gets injured on a mission and Yelena isn’t there telling her to harden up. She feels it everywhere, now. Kate’s lost her, the one person who she wants, and she doesn’t know how to get her back. 

And it's no one's fault but her own. 

With the self loathing comes the "what ifs" and it hits her even harder. She just can't see herself killing someone. 

But what if she had?

What if she'd kept her mouth shut? 

What if she'd let Yelena do her thing and just followed orders? 

What if she hadn't started a fight and hurt her favorite person so very badly? 

So she can't see herself killing someone, big deal. Using that as a reason to come at Yelena because she feels like it justifies her own issue, then bringing up her past and using it against her like that? When she knows that Yelena hates the memories of her history? What kind of a pathetic human does that? Yelena was her best friend. The person who she trusted most, over Clint, over anyone else that she's ever known. 

She can't believe what she's done. 

Natasha gives her the cold shoulder for weeks. And Kate isn't herself; because even when she's rested, she wants to curl into a ball and cry. Going on missions feels wrong. Even when she's saving people, she feels like she's not doing enough, and she sight of Yelena's pained gasp when she got shot plays like a broken record in her mind. 

Missions become difficult. 

Sleeping already was. 

Interacting with people socially? Kate doesn't even remember how to speak, let alone enjoy herself, and it's not like the others don't try. 

Cassie is outgoing, and fun, and the kind of girl that Kate has always been friendly with in the past. Peter too, tries his hardest to distract her; between K-drama, geeky facts that only she's interested in, and constantly hanging around so she's not alone, he's doing everything he can. Kamala, well, everyone loves Kamala. The girl even tries to organise a trip to space to cheer Kate up. 

But it's been 3 months since she saw Yelena. 

2 since she got a text from Melina saying that Yelena had shown up at their home for a few days, then promptly left once she found out that Kate knew she was there. 

1 since she realized that she didn't give a damn what Yelena did, if only she'd just come home. 

Then comes the lack of motivation to do, well, anything. 

Kate finds that it hits her hardest when she sees signs of Yelena's activities. A group of widows freed here, a man responsible for the murder of children randomly showing up on the FBI's doorstep (castrated, too, in case anyone needed any more proof that it was the widow's doing) a series of random assignments and more freed widows coming to work for SHIELD. 

Yelena has been busy. 

But Kate can't reach her, no matter what she tries. No one can, it seems. 

Natasha may be able to, Kate realizes, but if so, the Black Widow isn't saying anything. And the only person who really knows what happened and isn't blaming her completely is Wanda; but even she isn't saying if she knows where Yelena is. (Kate's pretty sure she does. She's the scarlet witch, after all.) 

And this is all her fault. 

Kate mentally outlines the apology she wants to give Yelena. Wants to tell her that she hadn't meant it. That Yelena is right, that she's always right, that Kate is a coward and a terrible friend and she'd understand if Yelena never wanted to see her again, but she just needs to know that she's okay. 

She just wants Yelena to come home. 

Kate can't handle the idea of not knowing when Yelena is injured from a mission. Can't handle the idea that maybe she wouldn't know if something had gone wrong until, maybe, Natasha deemed her worthy of knowing much later on. She can't handle the idea that maybe Yelena isn't sleeping, isn't looking after herself that well, and she doesn't know about it. 

Can't help with it, either. 

Kate finally decides that enough is enough, and that she's going to track Yelena down herself, and bring her home. 

Doing so is a lot easier said than done. 

She spends a lot of time trying to figure out a pattern in Yelena's movements. But there is no pattern; Yelena moves without consistency, and with little pre-warning, and there's never a single sign of where she's been until after the fact. 

So Kate has very little success in trying to track her. 

Next she resorts to begging. 

"Come on, Natasha, you must know where she is. She's your sister." Kate pleads. 

"Even if I did, why should I help you?" Natasha narrows her eyes, and gods, doesn't she look like Yelena right now. "You're the reason all of this happened in the first place." 

"Don't you think I know that?" Kate retorts. "I just want to tell her that I'm sorry.....I....I just want her to come home. And I can't make her come back if she's still mad at me, even if she's right to be mad at me." 

"I'm sorry, Kate." Natasha looks like she means it. "I wish I could. But Yelena is barely checking in every few weeks, and if I were to ask her to come here, she'd disappear altogether. You're just going to have to wait until she's ready." 

"And.....what if she never is?" Kate asks quietly. 

"Then.....you'll have to accept that you did this, and there's nothing you can do about it." Natasha sighs. "I wouldn't worry too much. Yelena is stubborn, but she won't hold on forever." 

Kate nods, but she's already plotting a way to ask someone else. That someone ends up being Wilson, who looks at her like she's grown a second head when she asks. 

"What, after your last fight?" Sam asked. "That was pretty rough, Bishop." 

"I know, but I....I really want to say sorry. We've never fought like that before." Kate protests. "I just need to find her." 

"Look, Yelena is here, there and everywhere. She checks in every so often if she needs a piece of intel that she doesn't want to have to pay for, but that's it. She certainly doesn't look as torn up as you." Sam shrugs. 

Kate breathes in sharply. 

That one hurt. 

Of course Yelena would be fine, what was she even thinking? She was a widow. They turned off their emotions. Kate wishes she could do that right now, because her emotions are overwhelming, and no amount of deep breathing, alcohol, archery, or, basically anything, takes the edge off. 

She gives up asking people for help after that. 

In fact, Kate sort of gives up on the idea that she's going to see Yelena for a long time, altogether.

Replaying her last few moments with the blonde becomes too depressing, so Kate resorts to happier memories. And when missing Yelena feels like being hit with a brick to the face, she focuses on the good memories, because that's really all she can control.

She’s still a mess, and everyone else notices it.

Finally, one afternoon after a particularly difficult assignment, Bucky Barnes comes into the training room where Kate is to see how she’s going.

“Hey, Hawkeye.” Bucky calls. “Have a minute?”

Kate from a few months ago would’ve fired an arrow in surprise; but she’s been under Yelena’s tutelage, and that means she’s gotten used to random appearances and subsequent teasing when she jolts suddenly and does something stupid. Instead, Kate turns to offer Bucky a small smile, wondering what it is that he needs to hear from her when she’s never spoken to him all that much in the first place.

“Uh, hey…..sure.” Kate nods. “Um….should I be worried?” Kate half jokes.

Bucky just smiles and closes the door. Kate shits herself.

“I see you’re still in your depressive spiral.” Bucky comments, sitting beside her on the training mats. “How many hours have you been in here now?”

Kate flinches at the comment. If she tells him the actual number, someone might stage an intervention. “Uh, 3. But I was just chilling, so I’m not really tired.”

That’s a lie. She doens’t know how to process these particular feelings, because they’re so fucking screwed up right now, she can’t tell her left from right. She’s pissed off at herself, she’s lonely, she’s down, but she’s also happy that Yelena has given them both time to think, but she’s so, so sorry for what she’s done; and every conflicting emotion seems to drain her, every minute of every day.

Bucky, apparently, sees right through her.

“Right. And the 3 before that? What do we call those, imaginary?” Bucky raises an eyebrow.

Kate looks away. “Just for fun, I suppose.”

“Hmm. Why are you upset, Kate?” Bucky asks, like he doesn’t know, like half the fucking compound doesn’t know. Maybe they didn’t know that she’s more emotionally involved than just a friend hurting a friend, but they know that Kate yelled at Yelena, and Yelena yelled at Kate, and then the widow left. And no one’s heard from her since.

As if that wasn’t enough, the resident golden retriever has been a moping mess for 3 months now, and it’s pretty easy to associate miserable Kate with missing Yelena.

“I feel like you know the answer to that.” Kate responds carefully. She’s not keen to piss off another Russian who’s got way too much talent with knives.

“Ha! I can see Yelena’s been training you.” Bucky snorts. “Usually you’d just blurt out whatever you’re thinking. Look, kid. I don’t know exactly what you two fought about, but you can’t spend the next however long moping around and feeling bad for yourself.”

“I can’t?” Kate responds, half sarcastic. “Gee thanks. It’s bad enough when you know you’re responsible, but it’s not like being happy is easy when your best friend up and leaves cause you hurt their feelings so badly.”

“Did you hurt Yelena? Of course you did. I don’t know how, but no one just leaves cause they feel like it. Well…..actually, maybe she would. But I’ve seen you two. She wouldn’t just leave. So before you’re ready for her to be back, Kate, you need to figure out if you can take responsibility for what you did to hurt her and fix it.”

“Of course I can, I just can’t fucking reach her to try.” Kate snaps. Why would he think that she really hasn’t thought about this already?

“Hmm. True, Yelena would be very good at staying dark. I guess I could give you a hand kid, but I’m going to need something in return.” Bucky informs her.

“What?” Kate responds immediately.

“I’m gonna need your word that you’re not going to hurt her again.” Bucky says. “Yelena and I, we’re the same in a lot of ways. And it’s not easy to deprogram your brain from a merciless killer to fit in around people who want to do the right thing. The fact that she’s trying? It shows how much she cares about you and what’s right.”

“I know that.” Kate whispers.

“I feel like it’s me and Nat’s job to protect that kid. She’s been through hell, you get me? So I need your word, Kate.”

“I promise.” Kate responds fiercely. “I won’t hurt her again.”

Bucky eyes her up and down. She wonders what he sees. Before she can say anything else, the Winter Soldier stands, nods at her, and walks out of the room. Kate doesn’t feel a whole lot better as he does. She’s gone and hurt someone who’s only ever experienced pain, and she really owes it to Yelena to try and protect her from it happening, not make it 100 times worse.

But Bucky is right about one thing. No matter how bad she feels, Kate really can’t sit there and just mope around for however long it takes to track Yelena down. So she gets up, and she brushes herself off, and she leaves the room. Takes a shower. Strips down to her favorite boxers and an oversized tank that covers her large abdomen bandages. Tucks herself into bed and swallows back the tears.

Feeling bad for herself isn’t helping anyone. Not her, not her team, and certainly not Yelena. Kate resolves herself to plan the apology.

And it brings her a little peace for the next couple of weeks.

Bucky does try to track Yelena; but the widow is just a little too good at staying off the radar, even for him. Kate appreciates the effort just the same. 

Finally, though, one Friday in late February, Yelena finally shows up at the Avengers compound. 

Somehow, Kate knows she's there before anyone ever tells her.

If you asked Kate how, she really couldn’t answer. Because Yelena doesn't come to see Kate. She doesn't stop by her old room, nor does she say hello to anyone on her way through. There’s no perfumed scent that’s unique to Yelena that lingers, anywhere in the compound. No hurried Russian conversations that she barely catches a few words of (even with her best efforts, Russian is a hard language to learn) and no terrified Peter running from a room because Yelena is grumpy and doesn’t want to discuss “spider DNA.”

No, nothing that ever follows Yelena’s presence is at all noticeable in the Avengers compound. 

So there's no logical way that Kate could possibly know that Yelena is here. And the only reason she suspects it, even for a second, is because Natasha disappears into the board room and doesn't come out for 2 hours, and that is really fucking weird, because lately, Kate's been directly involved in all mission planning. 

It's this that puts her on high alert. 

It's the flash of blonde hair that catches her eye as she's surveying the perimeter that confirms it. 

Kate immediately rushes for the board room. She knows Yelena would be heading right for that room if she was there. She reaches the secure meeting room just as Yelena enters, a slight tension radiating from the widow's posture. Kate thinks she might cry as she sees the widow. It's relief and panic all at once; sending her heart into her throat and she doesn’t know what to do about it. Sam's there, briefing her on something serious, by the looks of things, but all she can do is take in Yelena. 

She's gotten a haircut since she saw her last; it's short, really short, and it's messy, and gods, if she thought Yelena was attractive before then this is in a whole other league. 

But it's not just that. Yelena looks the same, but something about her isn't. 

Kate suspects that she’s to blame for this change, whatever it may have been, and she decides not to move. It’s not worth risking the chance of missing Yelena. So even though the meeting takes several hours, Kate hovers outside of the room in the dimly lit corridor for that entire time; and when the door finally clicks open, she hides as she sees Natasha and Wanda leaving, followed by Sam.

She doesn’t need Natasha getting involved. (She’s quite sure that the black widow may, in fact, try to prevent her from speaking to her little sister. Natasha is quite a bit protective.) 

In fact, Kate only pokes her head out when she finally sets eyes on Yelena, who's ready to leave. She’s about to come out on her own when Yelena speaks.

"You are still shit at hiding, Kate Bishop." Yelena's raspy voice fills Kate's ears for the first time in months, and Kate swears she's going to cry. Instantly, she pops out from her hiding spot, and there's a couple seconds of awkward silence before she responds.

“Well, you know. Old habits die hard.” Kate jokes uncomfortably.

Yelena regards her with a half confused, half disappointed look.

Kate scrambles to collect herself before she misses the opportunity to apologize altogether. 

"Lena, I need to talk to you." Kate says gently. 

The widow makes a choked sound of protest. Kate can’t figure out why; because Yelena's expression, as usual, is guarded. But it's not usual for her to guard it from Kate, and that hurts like salt in an open wound. "I am sorry, Kate Bishop, but this is bad time. I must leave, I-I” 

"Lena, you've been gone for nearly 4 months. I’m not going to take up too much of your time." Kate insists. She's not losing this opportunity. "And I’ve screwed this up way too badly for you to just leave without me saying sorry." 

Yelena looks away, avoiding her gaze. "Perhaps you were right. Perhaps I enjoy the kill too much." 

“No,” Kate says, her voice cracking. She can't believe that Yelena would really take her words seriously, and she feels even worse than she did before. "No, Lena, that's not true. I was wrong. I was angry, and you know what, you were right. I am a coward, and instead of accepting that, I attacked you. I was a shit friend and......and I let that anger take over. What you're doing is incredible, do you hear me?" 

"I cross many lines." Yelena whispers. "You were right about this."

Yelena has obviously been thinking about what Kate has said. The archer felt bad before, but this is an entire level of guilt on top of the former one. She wracks her brain for a response that’s going to be both sincere, and what Yelena needs to hear from her to fix this. 

"And you know what I forgot?" Kate responds quietly. She takes a tentative step forward, and when Yelena doesn't flinch, a second, closing the gap between them slightly. "You did it to save people. Hundreds of widows were saved because of you. You're not a bad person, Sunshine, and don't you dare let yourself believe that you are, do you hear me?" 

Yelena's face, which had been stoic only moments before, then crumples. A tear slides down her rosy cheeks, and she quickly wipes it away, her walls quickly going back up. 

Kate really can't stand the sight of Yelena expressionless. She hates that it's her own fault that she's broken the widow's trust. 

“I can’t just come back, Kate. I have work to do. And.....we do not work well together." Yelena says quietly. 

Kate has come this far, managed to express herself clearly, and she's not above begging on her knees for forgiveness. She carefully takes Yelena's hands in her own and looks at her seriously. 

“Let me help you,” Kate begs. “I’m not afraid of the darkness. I just want to be with you. You can hate me if you need to, and I won’t expect anything at all. You can never speak to me again, if it makes you feel better, hell, you can pretend I don't exist. Just please, Yelena… come home.”

"I could never hate you, Kate Bishop. This has made me very angry for a few weeks now." Yelena informs her with a tiny smile. It doesn't meet her eyes, but it's there, and a glimmer of hope hits Kate like a ton of bricks. "I am just tired of having to prove myself." 

"You don't have to prove yourself, do you hear me? This was my fault, okay? And I will do whatever it takes to make this up to you." Kate swears.

She wonders if Yelena is going to tell her to go to hell. Or if the widow will just leave, still hurt and angry, and if maybe she's missed her opportunity altogether. 

"You know, it is annoying. I thought leaving, it would be easier. Instead, I miss you every day." Yelena grumbles. Kate hesitates, for a moment, but decides that it's worth taking a shot. She opens her arms to the widow, who steps forward and wraps her arms around Kate tightly. Tears prick at Kate's eyes. She doesn't remember being this relieved, well, ever before in her life. 

Yelena's head presses against her chest, and Kate hugs her tightly, the top of Yelena's head tucked just under Kate's chin. She feels Yelena's tears because she can't actually hear them, but they're wetting her shirt, and she holds on tightly to the widow because she can't bear to let her go ever again. 

“I am so sorry for everything,” Yelena murmurs, her voice breaking. “I am sorry for trying to push you, when I knew you were not ready. It was not fair." 

"I need you to be patient with me, Sunshine." Kate whispers. "I'm not ready now, and I don't know when I will be. And I need to know that you're okay with that, even if it's hard to understand. I know you're amazing, and you don't hesitate, and I wish I could do that, Lena, but I can't." 

"Kate-" 

"I'm just me, okay? The dorky archer who's only really good at firing things at moving targets, and I'm still that stupid college kid that broke a fucking bell cause of a dare. I want to be more than that. But I need time, okay?" Kate whispers softly. 

"You are more than silly college kid." Yelena argues. "You work hard. I am impressed by it. There are parts of this work no one ever gets used to. But you will get there, Kate Bishop. I promise you this." 

"I'm really fucking sorry, Lena." Kate repeats. 

"Shhh, now you will make me cry again." Yelena grumbles. She pulls back and wipes the tears from Kate's face gently. "We do not tell Natasha of this, Да?"

"Of course." Kate grins. "God I missed you." 

"I miss you too, Kate Bishop. Come now, I am sure you wish to know what this mission is for, no? I will update you. Perhaps Wilson will allow you to join us." 

“I’m not so sure he’s going to say yes to that.” Kate responds meekly. “I sort of started this because of our last mission together.”

“Oh, Sam Wilson does not get to decide, it is my mission.” Yelena smirks.

Kate bites back a grin at Yelena’s cheeky smirk. She can’t get enough of looking at the widow, up and down, studying her face, admiring her haircut, and as she’s taking Yelena in, she sees a tiny scar on the hollow of her neck. If Kate didn’t know better, she’d say it was the size of a small knife, and her blood runs cold as she looks at the widow.

“What happened here?” Kate asks gently.

“Oh, is no big deal.” Yelena informs her. “I get into fight, big man tries to kill me, I kill him. Ой, прости, маленький ястреб." Yelena winces at her casual mention of killing the guy. 

Kate finds that she really doesn't give a damn. 

"You haven't called me little hawk in months." Kate whispers, brushing her fingers against the small scar. "You promise you're okay, now?" 

Yelena nods slowly. There's something unreadable in her expression, and Kate decides she's not going to push to figure what it is. "Да. I am fine, Kate Bishop." 

"Alright." Kate nods slowly. "Are we gonna go pester Sam, or what?" 

"Да." Yelena claps her hands, a cheeky grin etched into her features. Kate has missed her so, so much. She's missed Yelena's sense of humor and her silly jokes and her Russian accent that she never quite shakes when she's speaking English. She misses her scent, and her presence, and just being around the widow is enough to lift the dark cloud that's been hovering over her for as long as Yelena has been gone. 

Said Widow turns on her heel before Kate can register anything and bolts after Sam, who apparently, hasn't gotten too far since the end of their mission. And if Yelena had been paying more attention, maybe she would've noticed that Natasha, too, has been hovering; and that her sister is still there, leaning against the hallway entrance with a knowing smirk playing on her face. 

"Wilson! I need to speak with you, is most important." Yelena calls, catching up to him. 

Sam turns and spots Kate, then looks back at the widow with a hint of panic. “What’s going on? I thought you two were still… you know, fighting. I am not mediating this one, okay guys?" 

He's smart, not to want to mess with a widow who's pissed off, but his words seem to irritate Yelena, who opens her mouth to say something when Natasha decides to add her two cents worth. 

"Come on, Sam, can't you tell when a widow isn't angry anymore? You dealt with me long enough. They're fine." Natasha says, still leaning against the wall with folded arms. "They're not fighting anymore." 

Yelena’s cheeks flush, a mix of embarrassment and annoyance. Kate wants to hug Natasha for the adorable look on her sister's face. “I was not fighting. I was… working through the things.”

"Right, well next time don't drag me into it." Sam grumbles. "What do you need?" 

“I want Kate to join the mission,” Yelena says, her voice daring Sam to argue. “She will help me." 

Sam’s gaze shifts between them, assessing. Kate wonders what he's thinking about. “You sure about this, Yelena? I know you’ve been off doing your own thing. Working with Kate again might make old....wounds pop back open." 

Yelena crosses her arms, a hint of defensiveness in her posture. “You are very judgy, Sam Wilson. I do not need you to offer advice." 

Sam sighs, then glances at Kate. “Right. Well, what about you Kate? You're comfortable joining? And you’re okay with her methods this time?”

Kate takes a deep breath, the weight of their earlier argument still playing on her mind. To hell with anything if it means that Yelena stays. She's not sure her heart can handle Yelena leaving again, because the truth is that the day Kate met her, Yelena stole her heart and hasn't given it back, and Kate isn't really sure she ever wants her to. “Yeah. I trust her." 

Sam studies them for a moment longer before breaking into a grin. “Alright then. You can brief her and get her up to speed. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help." 

“Thank you, Sam Wilson." Yelena nods once. Kate knows that she must respect him, at least enough. 

As Sam leaves, Yelena turns back to Kate with a slight grin. "Do not forget Kate Bishop, I am still going to be decisive.”

Kate rolls her eyes, but a smile breaks through anyway. “As long as you can handle me not being decisive, I don't care, Sunshine." 

Natasha, who still hasn't fucking left, laughs at their interaction. "Nice to see you both getting along again. Lena, you should brief her. And change, we're wheels up in an hour."

"Aren't you going to change as well?" Kate asks, eyeing Nat's red oversized t-shirt and black shorts. She looks like she went digging through Wanda's closet again. 

"Oh. Yeah." Nat looks down at her clothes. "Probably should, hey Hawkeye?" 

Kate flushes at the use of her new code name, but nods anyways. Yelena says something in sharp Russian that makes her sister hold up her hands in defence, but the 3 still walk together towards the changerooms where they keep their mission suits. 

As they walk down the hallways, Kate's fingers twist restlessly. Overworked and sleep-deprived, she’s coming off an emotional high, and without Yelena by her side, she knows that she's been an absolute mess. She's used to having unlimited access to Yelena's presence, something that no one else is blessed with, and these moments of closeness; cuddling, laughing, just being together? 

Kate's craving them like she craves oxygen. 

But she's also not sure what the boundaries are now. Because yeah, Yelena might've forgiven her, but she's also screwed up, big time. That doesn't mean she gets a free pass just cause she says sorry, does it? 

There's no word that describes how badly she wants to reach over and grab Yelena's hand, but she doesn't, because she wants to respect the limits, and it's why she can't help but fidget with her hands now. 

Somehow, the widow decides to put Kate out of her misery. Without meeting her gaze, Yelena unfolds her arms and intertwines her fingers with Kate's, the simple act radiating warmth that makes her feel whole again. The squeeze is gentle yet firm, Yelena's way of telling her that everything is fine. 

"You worry too much, маленький ястреб." Yelena says gently as they reach the room. "I am not mad." 

Kate flushes, but doesn't say anything, because Natasha is watching them like she's about to jump on Kate for putting a foot out of line. Yelena doesn't let her hand go until they reach the changerooms, and when she finally does drop it, it's only to strip her white tank shirt off. 

Kate sees the bullet wound on her chest only seconds before the Widow steps into the cubicle and locks the door. 

"What the hell was that?" Kate whisper yells at Natasha. "She got shot?" 

"Why are you looking at my baby sister's chest?" Natasha narrows her eyes. 

Kate flushes. The words "because she has a very nice chest" come to mind, but she's not so sure they'll be well received. "Uh....because i saw a gunshot wound?" 

"She didn't tell you? She's been in a few scraps the past few weeks." Natasha sighs. "Didn't you see the scar on her neck?" 

"Of course I did. She said it was nothing." Kate responds quietly. 

"Well that nothing nearly put her in a coma. It nicked an artery." Natasha informs her softly. "So when you go on that mission today, Kate, I expect that you're going to keep her safe, do you understand me? Because if you become a liability one more time, I'm going to bury you myself." 

"I won't." Kate promises. "I just....I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to kill somebody." 

Natasha nods, once. "Then we'll both watch her six. Limits your chances of having to make that call."

"I'm surprised you're not teasing me." Kate flinches at Natasha's nonchalant response. 

"Well not everyone is born into a world where it's kill or be killed, kid." Natasha says. "I don't care how you keep her safe. But she's putting her life in your hands by asking you to help her, and I expect you to keep her fucking safe if she trusts you enough to have you there." 

"I will." Kate swears. "I promise." 

Nat seems to view this as good enough. "Perfect. I'll see you both on the Quinjet." 

The black widow leaves the room, and it's eerily quiet. Kate takes the chance to change, pulling on a bulletproof underlayer and then her mission suit. Her arrows have been restocked, and Kate waits patiently (as much as Kate can patiently wait for anything) for Yelena to come out of the changing room. 

The widow looks decidedly uncomfortable. "You and Natasha, you talk very loud." Yelena informs her. 

"Sorry, Sunshine." Kate offers gently. She tries to think of a careful way to continue the conversation. "You said that injury wasn't a big deal." 

"It is not big deal now." Yelena shrugs. "I am fine now." 

"But it was a big deal then. And you got shot. What the hell happened?" Kate half asks, half demands. It's hidden in her tone that what she really means is 'why didn't you tell me?' and Yelena takes a breath before she answers. 

"It is the same reason for my mission today. Someone has put a hit on me. Not to kill me, but to keep me contained so the person who put hit on me can finish the job. We do not know who it is." Yelena massages her temples as she speaks. "But no one can kill me, Kate Bishop." 

"But someone's trying." Kate argues. "Should you even be going?" 

"We need to know who put hit. We kill them, and I am safe." Yelena shrugs. "The digital footprint, we have tracked it back to Russia. I must know who was there when it happens." 

Kate takes a calming breath. "Alright. So someone wants to kill you." 

"Да, маленький ястреб." Yelena nods. 

"And someone has damn near succeeded, cause you've got a bullet wound and a knife wound on your skin." 

"Да." Yelena shrugs. "But they cannot kill me." 

"And now we're flying to Russia to figure out who did it." Kate says. 

"Да, маленький ястреб. Well, we will try. I cannot be sure we will find what I need." Yelena responds. "So....we are going, no?" 

"Lena." Kate says, gently. "Next time, just tell me the truth." 

Yelena shrugs. "I cannot help it. I want to keep you safe, Kate Bishop." 

"You can't protect me from this." Kate says, seriously. She means it, more than Yelena could ever get. There's a double meaning to everything she's saying. "You're never getting rid of me, Sunshine. So if there's a hit on you, I'm going to be there the whole time, trying to keep you safe." 

"You promise?" Yelena asks quietly. 

"Of course." Kate insists. 

Yelena smiles softly and squeezes Kate's hand. "Okay. We must hurry, Kate Bishop, before Natasha comes back." 

Kate nods, allowing herself to be pulled along yet again by the smaller blonde, who guides her through the compound and up to the launch bay. They pass Kamala, and Peter, on the way through; Captain Marvel is in the tv room painting her nails with them both, and they regard her with amused, knowing looks. 

The archer can't decide if she wants to kill them or grin back.

She does neither. 

Kate not being able to handle separation is bad enough, but it seems Yelena is just as bad; if not worse. The widow doesn't let go of her hand until they reach the Quinjet; and even then, she only does it for a few seconds in order to climb up into the jet and pull Kate after her. Yelena's wearing her usual combat vest; something that for some reason, the blonde is obsessed with, and she runs a hand through her hair to pull it out of her eyes as she uses the other to help Kate up into the jet. 

It's a little too distracting. (Why did Yelena have to cut her hair?) 

Kate catches Natasha's eye and the smug look on her face and glares at the redhead. Wanda nudges her girlfriend's side and Natasha rolls her eyes, turning back to the jet controls as Yelena dumps a duffel bag in the hull. 

"Are you ready Kate Bishop?" Yelena asks. "This is hard mission, you know. It is okay to stay here." 

"I'm not going anywhere." Kate insists. 

Yelena smiles slightly and sinks into one of the leather seats, patting the chair beside her. "Хорошо, маленький ястреб. Sit. We need to leave." 

Kate nods, sinking into the seat behind Yelena. Wanda and Natasha are chattering quietly at the front, and the low hum of the engines fills the cabin. Yelena carefully slides her hand back into Kate's as they strap in, while her sister and Wanda guide the Quinjet out of New York and into general airspace. 

Even with the Quinjet being one of the fastest airborne vehicles that they have, it will take them 5 hours to get there, and Kate tries her best to relax as they start their trip. Yelena is silent beside her, holding Kate's hand like a vice, simply staring out the window at the night sky as they fly for mile after mile. 

"So....you got shot." Kate comments quietly. She's enjoying the peace, but she wants to know about this particular injury. Managing to shoot anyone so perfectly in the middle of the chest is difficult, but a Widow? The shot was professional, she knows that for a fact. Carol and Bucky have been educating her on the best places to shoot someone; in the middle of your chest, your lungs collapse, and the chances of survival are slim to xero in many cases. 

"Yes." Yelena acknowledges. "Now I have cool scar, right?" 

"Well...." Kate trails off, the memory of it burned into her skull. "I don't know. How did that even happen?" 

"I was trying to help small widow, but the plan was not so good." Yelena grumbles slightly. She massages a thumb across the top of Kate's hand as she speaks, the motion infinitely soothing. "But it is fine. I am fine." Yelena assures. 

"That's a pretty dangerous place to be shot." Kate points out, still worried. 

Yelena grins. "Not for me." She sings. "I am too amazing." 

"That's not true." Natasha says, loud enough for them both to hear. "She was base bound for 3 weeks after that. Mama wouldn't let her leave." 

Yelena snarls at her sister's comment like it has offended her greatly. Kate bites back a laugh at her expression. "Я убью тебя, Наташа." Yelena spits. She unbuckles her seatbelt and launches herself at Natasha before the archer can even register what's happening. 

Natasha lets out a sound of panic, and Yelena hooks an arm around her upper half, wrestling her to the floor of the jet with an accomplished, and very smug, grin. The black widow, of course, isn't about to let her sister win; and thus begins a wrestling match, neither conceding.

"Nat, you're supposed to be helping me fly, not wrestling with Yelena." Wanda interrupts. 

"She started it!" Natasha accuses. 

"You call me a liar!" Yelena retorts. 

"I was just telling your любимая девушка that you are not as amazing as you say you are." 

"This is true, I am even more amazing than I say that I am." Yelena smirks. "И она не моя девушка." 

Kate wonders what Natasha said, because Yelena looks very, very annoyed. Natasha just grins cheekily. "Well, that's not what it looks like." 

"Oh shut up, Natasha, or I will actually kick you in the face." 

"Like you could get your short little legs up here." Natasha teases. 

Kate grins at the interaction. It's so...normal. Like all of her friends act with their siblings, and it makes her happy in a weird way. She's never seen them be so childish, but it's nice to see the black widow and her baby sister act like normal siblings do, even if their way of doing it could actually end with someone being seriously injured. 

"At least my legs are not also fat." Yelena retorts. 

"Oh! Asshole." Natasha accuses, wrestling her sister into a neck brace. "Give!" 

"Not....happening." Yelena manages to croak out. Kate watches her pull her elbow back, then release it, hard, into Natasha's stomach. At her sister's cry of pain, Yelena slips out of her grip and sits on her, a smug look of accomplishment on her face. 

"I win, сука." Yelena smirks. 

"God, you're so annoying." Natasha grumbles good naturedly. "Fine, fine. I give. Get off. Kate! Get your girlfriend off me." 

"Natasha!" Yelena snaps, punching her arm. "Я убью тебя!" 

Natasha groans again. "Kidding, kidding. Kate seriously, get her off." 

Kate meets Yelena's gaze, who shoots her a 'don't you dare' look, then unbuckles her seatbelt, walks two steps over to where Natasha is on the floor, and then grins. "Who are you talking about?" 

Yelena laughs loudly and high-fives the archer. 

Natasha curses in colourful Russian. 

"Oooooh, Natasha, you would not kiss mama with that mouth." Yelena teases. 

"For God's sake, Yelena, get off." Natasha snaps. "I gave!" 

Yelena takes a few more seconds before she rolls to the side and stands up. Kate keeps watch for a couple seconds, and as Natasha stands up and tries to tackle her sister, she pulls Yelena's arm and the widow falls into her, Natasha's attempt ending with the redhead sprawled across the Quinjet hull. 

"Ha! You lose." Yelena sings, smug. She glances up at Kate and smiles widely. "You save me from my crazy sister. Thank you, Kate Bishop." 

"I gotcha, Sunshine." Kate winks. 

Natasha continues to grumble under her breath, but goes to sit back down. Kate settles back into her seat and Yelena the one beside her, grabbing Kate's hand again like it's her tether to reality. Kate doesn't call her out for it. 

She's not really in the mood to consider what it means for herself personally, so she's definitely not going to bug Yelena about it. 

Natasha glances back at them and her grumpy expression melts into a soft smile. Kate pretends not to notice it. It's been an hour of flying, and they've got another 3 and a half to go, and Yelena looks decidedly tired. Apart from the fact that it's well after 1am, Kate knows that the widow has probably been flat-out trying to figure out who put a hit on her, and Kate can see that she's physically fighting sleep as they continue flying. 

"Lena." Kate says gently. "You look exhausted." 

"No, I am fine." Yelena responds. 

"That's not true, she's not slept for well over 24 hours." Natasha informs Kate, who glares at Yelena for the lie. 

"Natasha! Что с тобой не так?" Yelena splutters. 

"Sorry not sorry." Natasha grins. "You'll thank me one day." 

Kate glances at Yelena. "Sunshine. You need to sleep. We're about to go into a really hard mission, you can't just expect that you'll be fine, okay? Lay your chair back. Take a little nap." 

"I cannot." Yelena shakes her head. 

"Why?" 

"I do not like sleeping." Yelena shrugs. "It is how I am." 

"Well.....you kind of need to." Kate responds. "Come on. It's just us here, you're fine, Lena." 

Yelena grumbles under her breath. "I do not want to sleep, Kate Bishop." 

Kate watches Yelena’s stubbornness with a mixture of amusement and concern. She knows how tough Yelena can be, but it’s clear she’s running on fumes. 

“Okay, but if you’re not going to sleep,” Kate says, “then at least stop looking like grumpy cat. It makes your cute little face look angry." 

"I am not cute." Yelena spits the word, clearly offended. 

"Oh yes you are, what with those little grabby hands and your silly pouting when you're grumpy. Come on, Sunshine. Your eyes are hanging out of your head." Kate sighs.

Yelena shoots Kate a dirty look, but even she can't deny how tired she is. Every move she makes is hesitant. She's exhausted, and they both know it. She finally gives in, leaning her head gently against Kate’s shoulder. “Just for a moment,” she mutters. "I am not tired." 

Kate snorts, amused. Natasha rolls her eyes. Wanda laughs lightly at their antics. Yelena shifts her body until, instead of leaning on Kate's shoulder, she's laying on Kate's knees; her smaller frame stretched across both chairs. 

“See? All it took was a little encouragement,” Natasha teases. 

"Shut up, Natasha, or I swear I will kick you in the face." 

Natasha rolls her eyes at her sister. Yelena looks comfortable; as comfortable as one can be, stretched across two chairs, and while Kate knows she's probably not going to be able to shift the widow's position any, she also knows that the Quinjet AC is just a little too good; it's freezing up here, and Kate knows that Yelena feels the cold. 

Even if the widow refuses to acknowledge it, because, according to her, it appears 'weak.' Kate glances around the cabin, trying to spot a blanket. Yelena isn't asleep yet, but Kate's not too sure she's going to wiggle out of her position and back without irritating the widow. 

Before she can try to find a way to get it herself, the blanket drops into her hands. 

She looks over to see Wanda's hands glowing with red magic, and murmurs a soft "thank you" to the woman, who smiles back as Kate carefully wraps the blanket around Yelena's smaller frame. 

Kate admires her handiwork with a slight grin. Yelena looks like a burrito. She wonders if anyone else would dare to think that this little blonde assassin looks cute. 

"What is this, Kate Bishop?" Yelena asks, voice a low drawl. 

"A blanket. See, you look much more comfy now." Kate grins. She tucks a piece of hair behind Yelena's ear and the widow blinks up at her with a sleepy pout. 

"You are lucky I like you, Kate Bishop." Yelena grumbles. "I hate the blankets." 

Kate grins back. "Liar. You clearly like this one." 

Yelena grumbles something in Russian that Kate is pretty sure includes the word 'stupid' and she bites back a grin. Natasha glances back at them, catches Kate's eye, and smirks widely. 

"Looks cozy." Natasha comments. 

"It's cold." Kate responds simply. 

"Leave them alone, love." Wanda orders lightly. "Yelena needs to sleep, Kate's right." 

"I am not a baby, Kate Bishop. I do not need blankets." Yelena offers with a slight yawn. 

"I know that, Sunshine, but someone has to make sure you actually look after youself, don't they? That's what good friends do. Right guys?" She directs the question at Natasha and Wanda; Wanda hums agreement, but Natasha (which, in retrospect, Kate really should have anticipated) decides to tease Kate some more. 

"Oh, sure. Just two 'friends' sharing a blanket and sleeping on each other. Nothing to see here." Natasha answers, her expression smug. "Cause that's what friends do." 

"Exactly, thank you Natasha." Kate smirks. It seems to irritate the black widow, who glares at Kate as Yelena glances up at the archer, slightly confused. 

"Why are you being weird?" Yelena half demands. 

Kate swallows. "Nothing weird. We're just....uh....bonding." 

Natasha says something in Russian that Yelena clearly doesn't catch. Wanda punches Nat lightly in the arm and Yelena glances up at Kate again with a little smirk. 

"Oh, you are bonding. Do you bond with everyone this way?" Yelena asks. 

"Of course." Kate answers, a little too quickly. "You should see me with Clint. I sat on him the other day." 

"I would pay to see this." Yelena laughs. 

"Okay, okay, enough making fun of Kate." The archer protests with a blush. Yelena smiles at Kate, still holding her hand as she closes her eyes again. The widow is asleep only moments later, and the darkness of the cabin makes it feel even quieter than it already is, as they continue cruising at 30,000 feet. 

Natasha, it seems, is reveling in all of this. "Just wait, Hawkeye." She teases. "You fall asleep, and I'm going to snap a million photos of this. Oh, Clint's going to love this." 

"Don't you dare." Kate protests. 

She resolves not to fall asleep. 

20 minutes later, she's unconscious, still holding Yelena's hand, and Natasha, as promised, takes a stack of photos while laughing about it with her girlfriend. 

_____

Natasha wakes them up 20 minutes before they begin descending into Moscow. Yelena begins briefing her on the plan immediately, with codewords, hand signals and emergency plans for 'just in case' as Yelena says. 

Kate's starting to really, really wonder if she should've come at all. 

Then she catches a glimpse of Yelena's new scar and remembers that she's never letting  the widow out of her sight again. 

Descent is quicker than she anticipates. One minute, they're in the sky; the next, they've landed, and Yelena is barking out instructions. "These people do not store their personal information online, Kate Bishop. So the information I need, it is here." 

"But...they could want to kill you." Kate responds slowly. "So not only are you trying to find who wants to kill you, but you also might have someone try to kill you here, too." 

"Да." Yelena nods, like it's not a big deal. Like maybe Kate is the one who's overreacting. Like maybe it's not a huge issue that they're in a foreign country where rules don't apply and anyone could try and hurt them. 

"But what if you can't find what you're looking for?" 

"Then is perfect opportunity to exercise." Yelena shrugs. 

Kate massages her temples. "Okay. Okay, that's fine." 

"Take a breath, Kate." Wanda instructs, pulling on her signature leather jacket. "We're all going to be fine." 

Kate knows they’ll be fine, in theory. In practice, though? They’re about to infiltrate a high-security complex, bypass hundreds of agents, and hack into a top-tier, state-of-the-art tech system with no backup and minimal intel.

The cool night air bites at her skin as they move silently into the complex. There's 4 buildings to clear, and according to the minimal intel that they do have, there's at least 30 positive heat signatures in each building. 

That means that before they can identify which building has the master system, where all the data is stored, they're going to have to individually clear every building, at the very least incapacitate at least 90 agents, hack into the system and steal the information that they need, and then get out; without alerting local authorities or getting injured along the way. 

It's quite possibly the most dangerous mission they've ever gone through, and that doesn't even take into account the fact that the very person they're looking for is currently with them. 

Yelena is in danger, and the widow seemed nonplussed, at best, at the prospect. 

"Kate Bishop. Are you ready?" Yelena's voice is calm and controlled as she asks her question. 

Kate nods, as certainly as she can. "Yep. Let's do this." 

"Good. Wanda, Natasha. Kate is.....to hack into the systems. She is better at this than we are. We will keep room clear for her to access the computers." Yelena instructs. "I do not care for casualties, but we must be quiet. No one can know we are here." 

The first building stands before them. Its windows are dark, almost too dark, as if it’s been abandoned for years. But that’s never the case in places like this. Even at night, there are always eyes watching, always ears listening.

Kate knows this all too well. She's been on enough missions where everything seems fine one minute, only for everything to go horribly wrong the next. 

They breach the outer door silently, slipping inside with ease. Kate’s heart beats steady in her chest, her senses heightened as they move deeper into the building. The first thing that strikes her is the silence. Nothing stirs, nothing creaks. It’s almost too quiet.

She's been on enough missions in the past few months to know that this isn't normal. Even in the most abandoned of factories, there's noise; but they're in the middle of enemy territory. They shouldn't know that they're here, and the enemy also shouldn't know to have abandoned the building in advance. 

Kate's hands carefully grabs Yelena's shoulder to draw her attention. "Sunshine. Something.....something's wrong." 

"I agree, Kate Bishop." Yelena murmurs. In any other setting, the sound would be attractive. Now, it warns Kate that she needs to be on even higher alert. 

Yelena motions for them to split up, a gesture that doesn’t need words. There's a sort of mutual understanding; like maybe she and Kate have done this together a hundred times before. It's strange, considering the fact that they haven't seen each other in 4 months, but Kate doesn't question it; though, whether it's because she's distracted or because she doesn't feel the need, she doesn't know. 

"Kate Bishop. Clear to my left, пожалуйста." 

Kate nods, and heads left, scanning the shadows as she moves, her bow now in hand, but she doesn’t see a single person. The building is empty, and she’s thankful for it, even though she knows it's probably the calm before the storm.

They clear rooms one by one, moving through each area with precision, Yelena’s gun barely making a sound as she removes each threat with swift, lethal force. Natasha and Wanda cover them from the rear, ensuring that no agents get the drop on them.

It’s almost too smooth. Every door cleared, every enemy neutralized, no one the wiser.

Kate knows for a fact that something is about to go really, really wrong. 

Clearing building's 2 and 3 passes in a very similar manner. No one knows they're coming, Natasha, Yelena and Wanda....remove obstacles, and by the time they get to the top floor where the computer systems are, they haven't encountered a single actual threat. 

Finally, the teams makes it to building 4. Kate's determined to access the information she needs to keep Yelena safe; in doing so, she's just a little too reckless, too eager. 

She steps over a trip wire and an alarm begins blaring loudly through the buildings. 

"It is ambush. Kate Bishop! We need to move." Yelena says, snapping into action. 

"I've got your back, Kate! Get upstairs." Wanda orders, her magic crackling through the air as she shields their exits. Kate rushes up the staircase, Yelena hot on her heels; but their hopes of accessing any of the data is quickly shattered. 

It seems that every single agent who has been mysteriously missing from the previous building has been waiting here for their team. 

"Yelena....." Kate trails off, and she hates that she's nervous. 

"The information, it was never here." Yelena whispers. "We must leave." 

"They know we’re here," Natasha says, her voice coming through their earpieces. She's calm, but there's a sense of urgency in her tone regardless. "We need to get to the Quinjet, now."

Kate pulls back an arrow as a swarm of masked men begin rushing towards them. Yelena's movements are quick and lethal; and Kate finds that she really doesn't give a damn. 

Because if their lives come as the cost for Yelena to be safe, she doesn't mind. 

It's a far cry from the person she was a few months ago. 

All she sees every time she sees them fall is the small scar on the widow's neck. It's enough to drive her every movement; the arrows she shoots, explosive ones that are designed to confuse the enemy operatives, the stun arrows, even the way she fights. 

But it's not enough, and she can see it. 

Yelena has taken down more people with her gun than Kate has ever seen in her life. The widow is relentless, and Kate can't bring herself to care. 

Because if the cost to keep Yelena here with her is keeping her mouth firmly shut, Kate's going to do it. She doesn't care what she has to do if it just means that Yelena will stay. 

"Lena. We have to get out of here." Kate says. 

A masked person laughs from across the room and Kate spins on her heel, eyes wide with panic. The operative is dressed in black from head to toe, easy to miss. But it's the glinting silver blade pinned against Yelena's throat that her eyes are drawn to. 

The operative is just a little too smug as Kate draws her arrow back. 

"Let her go, or I'll shoot." 

"Oh, we both know this is not true, young Hawkeye. I will make you a deal. I keep Drekov's weapon, and you leave still breathing." 

Kate's almost not bluffing. Her heart is hammering in her chest. She wants to shoot, she does, and the way he's got Yelena pinned, it's almost worth it. But the longer she stands there with her bowstring pulled taught, the harder it is for her to release it. 

She doesn't know why this is so hard for her. 

Perhaps it's the fact that Yelena doesn't look afraid at all. The operative seems to think he has succeeded. That Kate will leave. 

He doesn't see Natasha slip in behind him. 

He doesn't see Natasha's own small blade pulled from her jacket. 

He doesn't see anything after this, either, because in the seconds it takes for Kate to put the bow away and hold her hands up in surrender, Natasha's small hand thusts the knife forward through his chest. 

It pierces through his heart and the man falls backwards, collapsing in a heap   as Yelena pushes herself away from him. Natasha pulls the knife from his body as blood pools around his lifeless form, and Yelena takes a singular step to the left, away from the man. 

"Ты в порядке?" Natasha murmurs. 

Yelena looks up at her sister with an unreadable expression and doesn't respond. 

Kate thinks the widow must hate her for what she's done. 

"I'm sorry, Yelena." Kate whispers. She's never hated herself more. She wishes she could've just done it. She should have. Should've taken the shot, or Yelena wouldn't have a tiny line of blood dribbling down her neck. Shouldn't have hesitated, or they'd be out of here already. 

"We need to get out of here." Wanda says, breaking the silence. "They knew we were coming, so whoever this is has been keeping tabs on us. We have to leave before they come back for round two." 

Kate nods hastily. She's not sure that Yelena wants to go near her, and instead of trying to make an awkward situation even more uncomfortable, or worse, hurt Yelena's feelings and possibly start another fight (not that she's planning on arguing at all, she knows what she's done) she turns on her heel, arrow notched and ready as she steps towards the staircase. 

"We're clear." Kate says, voice cracking. 

The team moves silently down the stairs and out of the building. Frigid air greets them as they step outside, combining with the adrenaline coursing through Kate's veins. Worse than the feeling of being ambushed is knowing that they didn't get what they came for; and they're no closer to knowing who wants Yelena dead. 

She turns to look at Yelena again, but before she can process what's happening, the widow launches herself at Kate; her arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her in so suddenly that Kate almost stumbles.

"S-sunshine?" Kate whispers, confused.  

Yelena buries her face into Kate’s neck, her breath hot against the cool air, her hands gripping tight, like she’s holding on for dear life. Kate stands frozen for a moment. Yelena's holding onto her like they're caught in a storm, and Kate is the only lifeline she has. 

Kate carefully wraps her arms around Yelena in turn, holding her against her taller form, letting the widow take whatever it is that she needs right now. "We did not find anything." Yelena murmurs, her breath tickling Kate's neck. "I.....I do not know anything else." 

"It's okay, Lena." Kate murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of Yelena's head. "I promise. We're going to figure this out, okay?" 

"W-we?" Yelena blinks. 

"What, you think you can get rid of me?" Kate half jokes, but it's not a joke, really. She's deadly serious. "I'm here for the long hall, Yelena. We'll figure this out together. I promise." 

Wanda and Nat hover in the background, not interrupting the soft moment. Finally, Yelena pulls away, her expression far calmer than it had been moments before. She smiles softly at Kate and looks up at the building. 

"We should destroy it." Yelena says. 

"And draw every authority in the surrounding area right to us?" Wanda asks. "Let's just go, before anything else goes wrong." 

Yelena sighs but listens. She gestures for Kate to walk with her, and Kate does; places an arm around the widow's shoulder and tucks her into herself, more designed to convince Kate that Yelena is okay than anything else, selfish though it may seem. She doesn't let the blonde go until they've made it up into the Quinjet, and Natasha settles into the seat beside her sister instead of Kate. 

"Um....Nat? That's uh....that's my spot." Kate says, reluctant to tell Natasha to move outright. 

"I'll move in a sec, Hawkeye. I need to talk to Yelena." Natasha says gently. 

Like maybe she knows something that Kate doesn't. 

Kate obeys. The scene of Yelena's throat marred with a single drop of blood is stuck in her mind. She's never been relieved to see anyone dead before, but in this case? She's just glad Nat got there before she hesitated a moment longer. 

It takes them 5 hours to fly home. 

Yelena disappears to shower the second they get there. 

Natasha tells Kate that she did well. 

Wanda goes to debrief Sam. 

Kate retreats into her room to change, playing the memory over and over in her mind. She's resolved not to judge Yelena for killing anyone, but she's starting to think that there are times when you've just to go do something before a situation gets any worse. 

And she wonders what it's going to take for her to flip the switch in her brain where she knows when and how to make that call. 

Kate doesn't get to think about it very long. 10 minutes into her self inflicted mental breakdown, Yelena enters her bedroom (without knocking, not that Kate would expect anything less) and plants herself on Kate's bed. 

"Can I stay here tonight, Маленький ястреб?" Yelena asks softly. 

"Rephrase that question, Sunshine." Kate orders seriously. 

"W-what?" Yelena asks, confused. 

"You never need to ask me, Sunshine. What's mine is yours. Do you have any idea how much I've missed you? I don't think I've slept soundly since you left. We've got time to make up for, so please don't ever ask me again, Lena. Just take what you need." Kate whispers, tucking a strand of hair behind Yelena's ear. 

Yelena flushes red. "I will sleep here tonight, Kate Bishop." She corrects. 

"Okay, Lena." Kate hums softly. She pulls back the covers and arranges her pillows so that Yelena will be comfortable, then settles in the bed. Yelena lays beside her, flat on her back, staring up at the ceiling as Kate wiggles around until she's comfortable. 

"You okay?" Kate asks. 

Yelena shrugs, as much as one can when they're laying down. "I do not know who wants to kill me." 

"We're going to figure it out, Lena." Kate assures gently. She rolls onto her side to look at the widow, who tries to smile back. 

"I know. But....I do not want you to worry. And this....it is making me worry." Yelena murmurs. 

Kate kisses her forehead, wishing she could take away everything that could ever hurt Yelena. "Don't worry, okay? You've got a whole team of people here who want to help you. I'm here. Nat's here. We're going to figure it out." 

Yelena hums in response. "I am very tired, Kate Bishop." 

"Then go to sleep, Yelena Belova."

"Do not call me this." 

"Why not?" 

"I do not like it." Yelena says. 

Kate just grins back cheekily. "Alright, Lena. I'm sorry. For everything." She adds quietly. Yelena places her hands over Kate's and massages a gentle circle repeatedly as she looks at the brunette. 

"Do not say sorry. We were both wrong. I do not care anymore, so you should not either." Yelena assures. "Go to sleep, Kate Bishop. We have much to do tomorrow."

Kate nods, fighting another yawn. Yelena curls into her side and the archer pulls the blanket over both of them. 

Only a few minutes later, both of the girls are asleep. 

Kate's final thoughts follow the same line as earlier. 

She's not too sure why seeing someone die left a feeling of relief, and maybe even happiness, dark though it may seem, in her chest. 

And she's not too worried about figuring it out; not when the person who was in danger because of it all now sleeps in her bed, safe and sound from those who wanted to harm her. 

There's a sick sense of satisfaction in it. 

Kate kisses Yelena's forehead once more to assure herself that the widow is okay before she sleeps. 

v.

Things fall back into a sense of normality as Yelena settles back in at the Avengers compound across the next few months.

It affects both Kate and Yelena; in ways neither of them fully see.

Kate is more sure of herself, to start. It’s something she doesn’t really pick up on; but oh, doesn’t everyone else. She’s confident in her movements, she’s more alert on missions, there’s an unmistakable ‘swagger’ to everything that she says and does. She’s happier, and everyone can see it.

Perhaps it’s the fact that she’s sleeping much sounder which helps, too.

Yelena also changes; though, being Yelena, it’s likely that she’s entirely aware of it. She rarely leaves Kate’s side, and when she does, it’s reluctant; snapped responses at people who try to pull her away, pouting at Natasha when she says to give Kate ‘space’, always looking for reasons why she is constantly in Kate’s orbit.

It’s addictive. Yelena is addictive. The blonde really has no idea just how much Kate craves her.

It’s not just the emotional side of things where they are constantly with each other. When Kate is near Yelena, the widow is either sitting on her, or so close to her that almost every part of their bodies are touching. It’s hands tangled together under the mission briefing room’s table, (Natasha, of course, notices everything, but she’s firmly decided not to say something about it until she needs to) and Yelena always darting back to get ‘one last hug’ before Kate leaves on an assignment. It’s the fact that they only really train together. It’s the once connected rooms that are now no longer necessary, because Kate’s room is their bedroom and Kate’s bed is their bed and everything of Kate’s is Yelena’s just like everything of Yelena’s is Kate’s. It’s phone calls when they’re apart, photos of each other on their lockscreens, and anyone who’s looking for them only needing to find one to find them both. It’s every minute of every day, and Kate can’t get enough.

She’s not sure how she’s survived without Yelena up until now, but now that she’s really got her, Kate can’t bear the idea of losing her.

The only thing that they don’t talk about is what it all means, but God does she want to, and it’s not like she could explain it if anyone asked what they were, because she really doesn’t fucking know. When she’s not with Yelena, she’s thinking about her. When she’s not thinking about her, she’s with her. Kate’s never wanted something so badly in her life. She’s not sure craving is the right word anymore. It’s more like a need, like oxygen itself.

If she wasn’t as comfortable with the entire situation as she was, she might’ve worried that she was a little too dependent on it all. That maybe she was in a little too deep.

Of course, that thought never crosses her mind.

Kate’s pretty sure that Yelena knows this isn’t normal. The only people at the compound who are as ‘sickeningly sweet’ as they are (to quote Clint. And Natasha. And Carol, when she’s here. And Kamala, but it’s said as a cute thing. To be fair, the girl does write fanfiction about every one of them, so that probably includes her and Yelena.) are those already dating. Everyone knows that Wanda and Nat are together, so walking in on them cuddling or flirting isn’t strange. Everyone knows that Bucky and Sam have a weird thing going on too, but even they don’t behave half as ‘coupley’ as Kate and Yelena.

And when you regularly walk in on two people who say they are just ‘friends’ doing those exact things, it becomes somewhat of a running joke. A joke that is flitting all around the entire avengers compound. Kate’s become an expert at pretending not to notice things; but it’s pretty hard not to notice this.

It’s even harder to pretend like her feelings aren’t involved. Especially when her protective and possessive streaks get triggered at random.

And that protective streak is triggered, severely, on their next joint assignment that week.

Tracking who’s responsible for the hit on Yelena has become a priority for Kate, and anyone who really cares about Yelena. Her parents have come to the compound too in order to help; Alexei claiming that everyone will be safer if he’s here. Melina is less obvious, but her entire personality warns Kate that if she says she’s here to protect someone, you really should watch out. It’s nice that Yelena has a close relationship with her parents, Kate decides (especially since her mother absolutely hates her right now) but Yelena doesn’t seem too thrilled to see them when they show up unannounced on her birthday.

To be fair though, Yelena rarely seems thrilled.

Unless she’s around Kate, that is, which only emphasizes Kate’s previous thought.

Not that she’s going to bring it up with the Widow.

Unfortunately, no matter how many people try and help with this situation, they can’t seem to find who the hell has placed a hit on Yelena. And it’s starting to grate on everyone’s nerves when their next assignment comes in; a group of young widows who proved immune to the antidote need to be freed - and with Melina here, they manage to create a new prototype that Kate and Yelena are tasked with testing.

“Lena! I have a theory!” Kate calls as she marches into the briefing room. “Oh, hey Bucky. Sam. Wait….why is everyone here?”

“Shhh, Маленький Ястреб. We are planning for mission.” Yelena says gently. Kate nods, sliding into place beside the widow, who immediately tangles their fingers together as Bucky glances between the pair and then continues talking.

“Now intel indicates that these same buyers have been purchasing widows for a long time. But what’s interesting is that there shouldn’t be anyone who’s selling widows, now should there? That indicates to me that you are dealing with someone who knew enough about the original operation to have some widows of their own, who they’re now selling at a huge price increase.”

“Oh my god, that proves my theory even more.” Kate blurts, throwing her hand up like she wants to be picked.

Sam raises an eyebrow as Natasha laughs loudly. She and Natasha get on well, in Yelena’s humble opinion, a little too well; but there’s always an older sister/younger sister sort of vibe between them, and Natasha really likes laughing at the archer. “Go ahead, Kate.”

“Yes, what is your theory Маленький Ястреб?” Yelena asks, looking at her curiously.

“Well, I was thinking about this whole hit thing, right?” Kate starts. “It seems weird that this person didn’t ask for you to be killed on site, and I couldn’t figure out why. But think about it. Who would care if a random widow is killed and out of their way? This is personal, Sunshine. Someone who knows you has put a hit on you. Then I was thinking some more and I realized that this person has also successfully pegged several of our movements. So they’ve got some prior knowledge of working with you before and what you’ll do next.”

“Or there is a mole.” Wanda points out.

“But that’s just it.” Kate insists, getting excited as she shares her ideas. “Think about it. Not only do we have those facts, but now someone who’s selling widows is being inconvenienced by a former widow who’s set on freeing every single one of them. Lena…..what if it’s Valentina?”

Yelena hesitates for a second. “Hmmm. This is not bad idea, Маленький Ястреб.”

Kate lights up at the compliment. “Really?”

“Да, this makes sense. Valentina was angry with me for canceling all my missions with her after she asked me to kill Barton. But she also employs many widows. It’s possible that she has some who are still subjegated and she has resources to keep them controlled. Actually….I am probably making business very hard for her.”

“Exactly.” Kate beams. She sobers up as she realizes that no one else is as excited as she is. “I mean….it’s not a good thing, obviously.”

“No, is good thing.” Yelena corrects. “Now we have someone to look into. Good job, Мой маленький ястреб. Natasha, can we look into Valentina today?”

“Lena, we need to get these girls out before someone realizes we know they’re here.” Kate says gently.

Natasha nods. “Kate’s right. If we don’t act soon, they’ll be moved, and we don’t want to leave it to the last minute to get them out. Besides, if that new antidote doesn’t work, we’re going to have a problem.”

“That’s true.” Sam agrees. “Alright, plan, pending Yelena’s approval.”

Yelena squeezes her hand with a smug little grin as Sam continues. “We’re infiltrating the security sector through entry one and five. Natasha, you’ll disable the alarms and Kate, you’ll get into the security system and give yourself complete access so you can move freely. Yelena and Wanda will proceed towards the cargo hold, where the widows are being held. Regroup and get out before you’re detected.”

“This is good plan. I am glad I made it.” Yelena comments.

Sam rolls his eyes. “Yes Belova. We all know you’re a brilliant strategist.”

“I am not brilliant, I am best.” Yelena grins. “But I will take brilliant as well.”

“Alright, alright. Get suited up and get out there. Sunrise is in 9 hours. We don’t want to be trying to extract young teens who’ve been chemically controlled at 5 or 6 in the morning, got it?” Sam says.

“We have got it, Sam Wilson, thank you.” Yelena rolls her eyes. “Мой маленький ястреб, we need to change. Ah! Natasha, I want to wear your vest.”

“What, my bulletproof one?” Natasha raises an eyebrow. “No, Yelena. That’s what I’m wearing.”

“But it is more comfortable than mine is.” Yelena grumbles. “Please?”

“No.” Natasha responds.

Yelena pouts and turns to Wanda, who shakes her head before the widow can even ask a question. “Блин. Kate Bishop.” She says, turning to face the archer, who’s been watching the entire interaction. “I can borrow your vest, no?”

“Of course you can, Lena.” Kate assures. “Although you should have asked me first.”

“Well I forgot that you have one now so it is not my fault only.” Yelena responds with a grin. “Спасибо, маленький ястреб.”

“That’s okay.” Kate smiles, then beams when Yelena compliments her understanding of the word please. Natasha and Wanda observe the interaction, shaking their heads as Yelena excitedly pulls Kate along down the hallway and into their room.

Even though nothing has happened just yet, Kate can’t shake the feeling of anxiety that’s pulsing through her veins as they change into their gear. The room is quiet, nothing but the sounds of shuffling and zippers audible as they dress, but Kate can feel the blonde’s eyes on her, and when she’s done changing, she turns to see Yelena looking at her with slight worry.

“маленький ястреб. Are you okay?” Yelena asks softly, sitting beside Kate on the bed.

“Yeah.” Kate answers, a little too quickly. “I’m fine. Just thinking about the mission.”

“You are…worried about it?” Yelena asks, confused. “You do not usually worry.”

Kate swallows. It’s true that she’s worried, just as it’s true that she usually doesn’t. But she wonders if now is the time to admit what it is she’s really thinking. “It’s not the mission. It’s you, Lena. I just…..” She trails off, willing Yelena to get it.

Yelena’s brow furrows. “Me? But I am fine. I am best widow on the planet.”

“I just….I don’t want you getting hurt.” Kate admits. “I can’t handle the idea of losing you like that.” 

Yelena stares at her for a moment, the intensity of the look catching Kate off guard. Yelena is always intense; always throws herself into things 100 percent - even when Kate wishes she wouldn’t. Her hand brushes Kate’s arm, then rests there. She’s silent for a long while, but there’s something in her gaze that softens, something vulnerable that she usually keeps hidden. Kate tries her best to control the urge to kiss her that comes hurtling into the front of her mind. 

“You will not lose me, маленький ястреб.” Yelena says quietly. “I am not going anywhere.”

Kate shakes her head, fighting the urge to pull Yelena in for a hug, just so she can convince herself that the widow is safe. “You don’t know how badly I want to believe that, Lena, but it’s not that easy. I know you’re strong. I know you’re the best... I just... I can’t help it. I care too much.”

She waits for Yelena to pull away. To run and hide, because when Yelena feels trapped, or confronted, she runs; she always has. Since the day they met, Yelena has disappeared the moment things become too real; and it’s exactly this that leaves her standing here, panicking about her indirect admission.

Yelena studies her for a second, her eyes alight with an emotion that Kate can’t quite read. The widow takes a step closer to her and her expression softens. Rather than run, Yelena carefully reaches up and smooths the crease in Kate’s brow with her thumb, her other hand gently cupping the archer’s cheek. There’s a brief pause; it’s so quiet that Kate can hear her own breathing.

“You are not the only one who cares too much, Kate Bishop.” Yelena whispers, breaking the silence. “I cannot lose you, either.”

Kate’s heart is pounding so loudly in her chest that she wonders if Yelena can hear it. She finds herself studying Yelena’s expression; and for the first time in what feels like forever, it feels like she and Yelena are talking about the same thing, finally. Yelena opens her mouth to say something else, but before either of them can speak, there’s a knock on the other side of the door.

“Lena, Kate. Get your asses out here, we need to leave.” Natasha calls. “We’re wheels up in 10.”

Kate bites back a grumble of annoyance, and Yelena grins at Kate. “It is okay, Kate Bishop. Later, Да?” Yelena says gently.

The archer finds herself nodding back as Yelena presses a kiss to her cheek. (She has to stand up on her tiptoes to reach properly.) Kate flushes at the action, and it’s just as endearing as Yelena’s hand finding hers, guiding her out of their room and down the halls into the loading bay where Clint is giving instructions to Natasha that sound a lot like “don’t do anything stupid.”

“Your Hawkeye is more bossy than mine.” Yelena teases when she sees them.

“And your Hawkeye would be the one doing something stupid, so I wouldn’t be judging.” Natasha retorts.

“Why are they talking about us like we’re not here?” Clint asks, patting Kate’s shoulder as she walks over towards them. Kate turns and smiles softly at Yelena, who’s arguing with Natasha; but both Widow’s attentions turn to her as she responds.

“Apparently Widow’s adopt Hawkeyes.” Kate shrugs. “They’ve been debating which one of us is better since Yelena came home.”

“It is obviously Kate Bishop.” Yelena says. “She is prettier.”

Natasha guffaws loudly at the comment, but Yelena really doesn’t seem to care. Clint rolls his eyes at the redhead. “Give them a break, Nat.”

“Oh please. At least when I stole your clothes it was because I had none of my own. This one has all the clothes in the world, but she steals her Hawkeye’s clothes every single fucking day. I mean it’s not like you can’t afford them for yourself, Lena-”

“Не называй меня так.” Yelena cuts her off.

“Почему это имеет значение?” Natasha rolls her eyes. 

“Because I say so.” Yelena snaps. “Besides, Kate Bishop has many clothes. If I did not use them, she would have too many.”

“You two are hopeless.”  Natasha grumbles.

“Nat.” Wanda and Clint say at the same time. “Leave them alone.”

“Yeah, leave us alone, Natasha.” Yelena smirks.

Natasha takes one look at her sister, and said sister’s smug little grin, and dives at her, trying to knock the widow from her feet. It doesn’t work; obviously, but does end in hair pulling and some colorful language that Kate sort of wishes she didn’t hear. Wanda grabs Nat and pulls her away at the same time as Kate does it for Yelena; but where Nat just pouts at her girlfriend, Yelena looks at Kate with abject confusion; and a little annoyance.

“Kate Bishop! You have betrayed me.” Yelena accuses.

“Come on, Sunshine. We’re about to go kick some ass, you really don’t need to be fighting with carrots over there.”

“What did you just call me, kid?” Natasha snaps, scowling at the archer.

“You’re on your own now.” Clint snorts.

Kate bolts as Yelena laughs and Wanda massages her temples at their antics.

In hindsight, it’s a nice calm before the storm.

_______

Kate always hates arriving at the mission site.

There’s a seriousness that envelopes them every time they board the Quinjet. Gone are the lighthearted jokes and wrestling and chatter about all manner of things. Gone are Yelena’s soft expressions and silly laughs and the way she migrates towards Kate at any given time. She always becomes a different version of herself; serious, focused. Deadly.

At least this time, Yelena is still there, to an extent, as they fly over Hong Kong. Kate can’t bring herself to let Yelena go until the last minute, and if the widow notices, she doesn’t comment.

And when they finally arrive in the private airfield and begin carrying out their plan, Kate finds that she hates this mission even more.

Hong Kong is humid and the heat is eating at her as they trek through the large rice paddy fields to reach the hidden entrance of the underground facility. Yelena has finally let her go; but it’s only to replace Kate’s hand with a gun which her finger dutifully rests at the trigger of. She’s loaded and ready to fight.

Natasha and Yelena seem to always work together without ever needing to verbally communicate. The moment they get to the entrance, the countdown starts. As per the plan, Natasha breaks them through the door, the team silently surveying the endless white corridors in front of them.

“According to copy of the schematic build up, we need to go down the north hallway.” Yelena whispers. She looks up at Kate and there’s a hint of worry in her gaze, something Kate hasn’t seen before. “Please be careful, маленький ястреб.”

“I will.” Kate promises. Wanda guides Yelena in the opposite direction, and Nat follows Kate with her gun drawn as they silently move down the hallway. Kate doesn’t look as Nat knocks the few guards that they do find unconscious; and proceeding into the security room is easier than any of them are expecting.

“Sunshine, we can see you on the cameras. Uploading now.” Kate murmurs through the comms.

“Oh, sure.” Natasha pants, walking in after the archer. “Don’t let her know that I knocked those guys out for you.”

“Sorry. Nat did the hard stuff.” Kate adds.

Yelena giggles through the communicators. “Thank you.”

After giving herself access to the security system in what is now turning out to be a well organized plan, Kate and Natasha rush from the room and down the north hall back towards the holding bay, where Yelena and Wanda are heading too. 

Everything is going smoothly until the unexpected happens. As they approach the cargo hold, Yelena and Wanda are ambushed by a group of heavily armed mercenaries.

Mercenaries who do not belong here, if their pale blue eyes and shouted commands in Russian are anything to go by. Yet again, Yelena throws herself into the fray without hesitation, and Kate’s heart is in her throat as she pulls an arrow and readies it to fire.

“No, Kate, we’re too far away-” Natasha says urgently. “You fire that net, you miss them both, and it’s not going to help her.”

“But it’s going to distract him.” Kate argues. “Yelena can do the rest.”

Natasha pauses for a split second like she hadn’t thought of that, then nods approval. Kate takes aim at the archway above the man’s head, and just misses catching him with the net, but her plan works; he spins around, gun drawn, and Yelena slits his throat the second he turns away. Kate doesn’t flinch at the sight. Nor at the blood that pools from the man’s throat and pours down his shirt as he clutches desperately at the severed skin.

The archer only cares about Yelena, who tilts her head to the side and smiles like she hasn’t just killed a person. It’s only then that Kate sees Yelena’s slight limp, and Wanda rushes over with a concerned look on her face. “There’s at least 30 more before we even get down to the actual holding bay where the girls are. I can handle these guys, no problem, but-”

“We have to hurry.” Nat finishes. She glances at her sister worriedly.

“Are you okay?” Kate blurts, looking her up and down for obvious signs of injury.

“I am fine, маленький ястреб.” Yelena assures through gritted teeth. Something in her voice tells Kate that she’s lying. She zeroes in on the blood stain that’s slowly getting bigger across Yelena’s leg, and reaches out to see what’s wrong when Yelena takes a step back.

“Wanda can heal me, I am fine.”

“You’re not fine,” Kate argues. “Don’t do that.”

Yelena looks a little surprised at being called out, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “Very well, маленький ястреб. I will not.” she promises. “We need to hurry. Natasha and Wanda cannot free the girls alone.”

Kate nods determinedly. She follows behind Yelena with her bow drawn, as the widow pulls the vials of antidote from her vest and attaches it to the top of the arrow Kate has ready. “Fire this through the glass, Kate Bishop”

The archer obeys without thinking. Her arrow flies through the glass door, shattering both it and the vial. Red gas fills the chamber, and for a second, Kate wonders if it’s going to work.

It’s the sobs that start to fill the room which answer her question.

Yelena shoots Kate a brief look of satisfaction before a loud alarm begins blaring through the compound. Kate hastily glances at the tablet which she’s connected to the security system. “Guys, there’s a backup alarm! We need to get out of here, now.” Kate yells urgently. 

"Not good," Natasha mutters in response. "Babe, we need to get the hell out of-"

Gunfire cuts off the last of what Natasha means to say. The girls are panicked, and a new swarm of armed guards begin to fill the room, but as always, Yelena doesn’t hesitate. She grabs Kate’s arm, pulling her toward the door. "Go!" Yelena shouts, her grip tight. "We get them, we get out. Now."

Kate nods quickly. “Come on guys,” she urges, helping one of the widows to stand. The girl can’t be older than 15. She studies Kate with a desperate, sort of scared expression, but Yelena doesn’t have patience nor time to wait for them to come to. She barks a command in Russian, and the girls immediately stand to attention, rushing towards the door and towards Nat and Wanda, who continue communicating with them in calm, patient Russian that Kate only understands tiny parts of.

Her distraction, and relief, is short lived. Yelena pulls her around to the front, determined to clear a path so that her sister can get the girls out safely. And Kate fears that the only way they leave in one piece is to make sure that everyone else doesn’t leave again.

“Kate Bishop, look out!” Yelena calls, and Kate is just a second too late in her response. A guard launches himself at Kate as Yelena catches one of them in a headlock, the sound of his neck snapping audible. Kate doesn’t dodge in time, and he lands a punch in her stomach so hard that it winds her. She stumbles backwards, reaching for an arrow in her quiver, and to her left, Yelena is yelling something that she can’t hear.

She shouldn’t be hesitating to kill a guy that’s trying to kill her.

But the fact is, she’s not.

Because her attention isn’t on the guy who’s trying to shoot her (and failing) but on Yelena; who’s outnumbered, who is fighting 5 guys twice her size, and who is already injured. Her vision is cloudy, but she’s so scared of Yelena being injured again that she almost does it.

She nearly shoots them.

But her split second of hesitation, the moment it takes her to pull the arrow into position, and suddenly, it’s Wanda who’s levitating the men away from Yelena and kills them all at once. The woman doesn’t even flinch; just drops their bodies to the ground and pulls Yelena up.

Yelena then shoots the man wrestling Kate dead in the chest, and offers a hand to pull her up. There’s a high pitched ringing in her ears, and she can’t properly make out what Yelena is saying.

“маленький ястреб!” Yelena snaps her fingers in front of Kate. “Look at me. You are not dying today, Kate Bishop.”

Kate nods, catching her breath. “Right. Thanks.”

"Stay close," Yelena says, her voice tense. "We’re getting them out, no matter what."

The danger spikes as they move toward the hostages. Yelena’s gaze flicks toward Kate—soft, but protective—and for a moment, it’s not the mission, not the plan, not the adrenaline. It’s just them, and she offers a tiny smile back at the widow as they usher the girls out of the building.

It takes many hours for them to get home. Another hour after that for Wanda to heal the stab wound in Yelena’s thigh. Another 3 hours after that to clean up the widows and for the girls who speak Russian to explain the plan.

Another hour after that to debrief Sam and interrogate the oldest Widow, who doesn’t know how they were taken; doesn’t remember anything of use, just that one day they were safe, and the next, they were in an underground facility and she couldn’t breathe without permission.

Kate gets why Yelena would want to kill these people.

But what surprises her is the fact that for the first time, well, ever, Kate had really been about to kill someone in the name of keeping Yelena safe.

What surprises her more is that she doesn’t feel guilty or uncomfortable at the notion. She’s completely indifferent to any guilt whatsoever, because it’s Yelena. And she’ll be damned if her fear prevents her from protecting the person who means the most to her in the world.

“Kate Bishop.” Yelena’s raspy, tired voice pulls her from her thoughts.

She wonders if Yelena can see the relief and the happiness that plays across her face every time she looks at the woman in front of her. “Sunshine. How are you feeling?”

Yelena smiles, a tiny smile that softens her expression, and sits beside Kate on the bed.

“I am fine, Kate.” Yelena assures. “But you do not look okay.”

Kate winces at the indirect question. She’s stripped out of her mission suit. Has taken a shower, to wash the blood away. Has brushed her hair, pulled on a loose fitting cotton shirt and shorts, and yet she can’t relax, can’t tell her body that she’s not in danger anymore enough times for it to finally accept it.

“I’m fine. I just…..I can’t sit in here.” Kate blurts. “I just…I need….”

Yelena pulls her up to stand, nodding like she gets it. “Come on, little hawk. We can go up to the roof.”

They walk out of their room and silently up the hallways, to the roof of the Avengers compound. Yelena surveys the roof for safety, then sits down and gestures for Kate to do the same. The archer joins her obediently, not saying a word. For a long time, they sit in silence, the only sound the light breeze and the barely audible chatter of some other agents below.

It’s peaceful, and Kate feels her heart rate slowly return to a normal level. “I was going to kill that guy today.”

It’s something they don’t talk about. There’s been lots of missions lately, safer ones, where there’s little need to neutralize the target, if any at all. Kate doesn’t avoid talking about it necessarily, but she does hate the idea of bringing up the very thing that caused them to split up in the first place, especially with how much it hurt then.

Before she even fell as deep as she has now.

Losing Yelena again might break her, so she doesn’t bring it up; until today, apparently, with Yelena looking at her like she’s hung the stars in the sky just for her. Kate fights the blood that rushes into her cheeks, tinting her face scarlet, but the widow continues to stare for a few seconds longer.

“Were you?” Yelena finally says. “You will not be upset if I say that I am proud of you?”

Kate’s chest warms at the thought. She shakes her head. “It was for you. It’s always for you.”

Yelena smiles softly at the admission. Kate wonders if she’s about to walk away, the emotions of the situation maybe too much for her to handle, but Yelena stays. She stays, and Kate’s floating on a cloud of happiness and relief and terror all at once.

“You know, I meant what I said. About being afraid.” Yelena whispers.

Kate smiles softly. “Me too.”

Yelena’s eyes flick to hers, holding her gaze for a long moment. “I cannot lose you, Kate. Not now.”

Kate nods, the weight of the words settling over her. She reaches out, placing her hand in Yelena’s, squeezing it tightly. “You won’t.”

Yelena doesn’t let go of Kate’s hand, and for a moment, neither of them speaks. The silence feels heavy, charged with something unspoken, and Kate knows that Yelena wants to say something.

“What’s on your mind, Sunshine?” Kate asks softly. 

Yelena shifts slightly, her gaze dropping to their intertwined fingers, her thumb brushing gently over Kate’s skin. The moment is light, the action warming, but there’s a tension in her body, like she’s working through something in her head, trying to find the right words. 

After a long pause, she exhales slowly, curses under her breath in Russian, and then meets Kate’s eyes with a look of slow acceptance. “You.” She admits.

“What do you mean?” Kate says.

“You are on my mind when I wake up, and when I go to sleep. When I am happy, I think of you. When I am sad, I wish to be with you. When you are in danger…” Her voice falters for a moment, the edge of something dangerous lilting it. “When you are in danger, I want to hunt down those who are responsible and make them very sorry.” 

Kate feels her heart flutter at the words, still listening to everything Yelena says attentively. 

Yelena takes a deep breath as she tries to word her next sentence. “But today…” Her voice lowers, almost barely a whisper. “Today, I was scared. Scared of losing you. And I do not want to wait until it is too late to tell you that I care for you, because then, maybe……maybe I will lose you forever.”
The weight of what Yelena’s saying lands like a punch in Kate’s gut. Kate has always thought that she’d have to wait, maybe come clean to Yelena before the widow ever admits to her feelings in return, but she’s never thought that Yelena would admit to them first.  She can’t help the way her heart races, a rush of heat flooding her chest. 

“You don’t have to worry,” Kate says softly, fighting to keep her voice steady. “I’m always going to be here. You know I love you, Sunshine. Do you really think that anything could ever change that?” 

Yelena looks up at her then, her expression a little more serious. “Of course I know, маленький ястреб. It is hard not to, when you are always here, always, whenever I need you…..but knowing is not enough for me anymore,” Yelena says, her tone resolute. “I want you always. I want to feel you here with me, not just when everything is fine, but always. Every day. I am very selfish, Kate. I will not accept anything less than every part of you.” 

Kate feels her breath hitch, the space between them suddenly charged with everything they’ve never said out loud. She wonders if it was foolish of them both to wait so long, but then she wouldn’t be here now; and she can’t find it in herself to regret it. 

She also can’t find the words to properly respond to Yelena’s confession. 

Before she can formulate even half a response, Yelena leans in again, her gaze flicking to Kate’s lips for the briefest moment, as if she’s not too sure. But Kate doesn’t hesitate this time. She pulls her in, closing the distance with a softness that feels like it’s been a long time coming.

The kiss is slow at first, as are most things that happen between them. Yelena’s lips are warm, and Kate feels every ounce of the longing that’s been simmering between them for so long. It’s like they’ve both been waiting for this, waiting for the right moment to be honest with each other. Yelena tries to pull away, and Kate leans towards her, and the widow laughs lightly against Kate’s lips. The archer leans back just enough to smile at her, then peppers kisses across Yelena’s face, before leaning her forehead against Yelena’s.

“You have me, Lena.” Kate says, quietly promising both herself and the widow. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Good, because I do not think I could handle if you said no.” Yelena admits.

“You really thought I would say no?” Kate asks. “Sunshine. The only reason why I wouldn’t say something sooner is because I want you to set the pace. Because everyone has always taken away your choices, and I don’t want us to be the same.”

Yelena fights a grin, but fails. The smile breaks across her face and lights up her eyes. “Well….I do not think we could pretend much longer. Perhaps we would have sent my sister into the crazy house.”

“Oh, for sure.” Kate snorts. “I think she’s more invested than anyone else.”

Yelena laughs at the comment. They sit there for a few moments more, enjoying the peaceful moment between them both. A few minutes later, the door to the roof’s staircase flings wide open, and Natasha storms up to the pair with the smugest of grins on her face. “I know that look.” Yelena mumbles. “She is about to be очень insufferable.”

“Oh ho ho.” Natasha smirks, marching over. “I was looking everywhere for you two. Imagine my confusion when Kamala says you were on the fucking roof. And making out, no less? Do you have it in for my mental health?”

“We were not-”

“Kate’s lipgloss is all over your face.” Natasha cuts her off. “Don’t lie to me.”

“What is it that you want, Natasha?” Yelena snaps, embarrassed.

Natasha’s teasing expression softens. “The widows want to see you. To thank you. They’ve heard about you, it seems. They were given orders to kill on site.”

Yelena shivers. “They want to see me?”

“Да, Елена.” Natasha hums. “You can bring your girlfriend with you.”

“I will.” Yelena smirks, and Natasha gapes at her, and Kate flushes red at the admission. “Now go away.”

Natasha mutters under her breath and leaves. Kate stands, as does Yelena, and she studies Kate’s expression for a few minutes, brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. “You are still worried.”

“I just think it’s weird that they were given orders to kill on site.” Kate admits.

Yelena chuckles softly. “Do not worry, little hawk. Remember, they did not succeed. It does not matter.”

Kate nods slowly. “You realize that Natasha is going to spend a long time making fun of us.”

“Oh, yes, I realize.” Yelena snorts. “But she will get bored eventually. Do not worry. Let us go see the widows, and then we will finally get some rest, маленький ястреб.”

“Okay.” Kate hums.

They spend several hours in the recovery room, chatting with the widows until it’s well after 1am. And later, when they retreat to their room, well after 3am, Kate relishes in the feeling of certainty that comes from their earlier discussion, the feeling of safety that comes from knowing that they have each other, and that’s enough.

But it doesn’t quell the feeling of anxiety in the back of her mind at seeing Yelena outnumbered today. It doesn’t undo the guilt at knowing that she hesitated, again, when only seconds later she saw Natasha do it without hesitation.
As Yelena falls asleep in her arms, Kate vows that it won’t happen again.

Next time, if it’s a choice between Yelena and the bad guys, she’s going to take the shot and every other shot she needs to, because she’ll die before she loses Yelena again, not when she’s only just gotten her.

Not she knows that Yelena would, without hesitation, do the same thing for her.

i.

Late February passes with little activity at the Avenger’s Compound. Kate trains regularly, with Clint, Kamala, and Peter; then Captain Marvel, when she’s here, and Natasha, when the widow can be persuaded - most of the time though, she’s looking after their newest little widow - Anastasia, only 6, and the daughter of another widow who was taken while pregnant.

They learned later that her mother had been killed in a raid.

They also learned that Drekov had started kidnapping pregnant girls before he died, training both them and their babies as widows before taking away their ability to ever have children again.

Yelena was inconsolable for 3 weeks after learning this. No amount of hugs, sympathy, assurances and reminders that Drekov was, in fact, dead, seemed to do anything. Only time helped, and Kate knows that having Anastasia here helps both Yelena and Natasha remember that their work isn’t in vain.

But aside from a lot of training, and the odd mission, things have been very quiet. Usually, both Kate and Yelena would prefer it this way. They like the time alone, always finding a reason to leave the compound and spend time together like any normal couple - only, right now, they can’t do that, because there’s a hit on Yelena, and researching Valentina is proving useless, and no amount of interrogation makes anyone give up who hired them.

Things are at an impasse, and Kate can’t stand it. She wants to help. Wants to protect Yelena, and she can’t, and that makes everything feel totally hopeless. Logically, she knows that a lack of activity is a good thing, but she can’t handle not having a solution and conclusion.

She’s thrown every resource available to her as the Heir to Bishop Securities into tracking down who the hell has done this, and she’s basically said a flat no to Yelena leaving unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Of course Yelena tells her to go fuck herself.

“Kate Bishop you cannot keep me inside forever, yes?” Yelena responds when she says it the first time. “I am a widow. I am free. I do not want to be stuck inside for the rest of the year.”

“Lena-”

“No, I will not.” Yelena cuts her off.

Kate tries to pull the puppy eyes card, but it’s useless. If Yelena doesn’t want to do something, she’s not going to, and Kate knows better than to try. Yelena still goes out when she feels, but to appease Kate, she always brings the archer along with her; they take Fanny and Lucky for walks, visit the city when they can (and when Kate has said no to going too many times without Yelena just leaving on her own) and once they even go on a little trip (which she admits to spending 90 percent of in their hotel room. They don’t get to be alone very often.) but Kate worries, and nothing shakes it.

No amount of knowing that Yelena can look out for herself changes it.

And finally, in early March, things reach a head that no one is quite expecting; least of all Kate, who’s busy when things start happening.

Kate’s mom is applying for bail, and she decides that now is the perfect opportunity to finally break the silence pact she’s made with herself to not talk to Kate. She calls her daughter and asks for help, and in all honesty, there’s not a single part of Kate that wants to.

But she knows that it’s the court’s job to decide if her mom deserves bail, and it’s also the court’s job to enforce her sentencing; not Kate’s, who probably still resents her mom a little (read, a lot) for her attempt at killing Clint and then lying to her about it, so she’s not really in the best position to decide, now is she?

So Kate, reluctantly, tells Yelena about it.

“Lena, I need to talk to you about something.” Kate marches into the training room to find her girlfriend, who’s made an art of firing 90 bullets at the same target, at the headshot target specifically, in over 100 different positions to test if she can make the shot from anywhere in a room. Even Natasha can’t beat Yelena’s score, though, Anastasia comes close; and so Yelena commits herself to making the shot from 150 different angles. She’s only halfway through her usual target practice when Kate arrives, her expression tense with concentration. Still, as soon as Kate speaks, she spins on her heel to look at her girlfriend.

“Are you okay, моя любовь?” Yelena’s brow furrows, and she holsters her gun and practically runs over to Kate, who smiles softly at Yelena’s worry.

“I’m fine, Sunshine.” Kate assures, kissing her forehead. Yelena wraps her arms around Kate and pulls her close, breathing in her scent and taking a few steadying breaths before she pulls back and looks at Kate with concern.

“Then…..what is it?” Yelena asks.

“It’s my mom.” Kate sighs, massaging her temples. “She’s requesting bail and her lawyer wants me to go to court to fight for a yes.”

Yelena narrows her eyes. “She has the audacity to ask you after she tried to kill your hero? моя любовь, your mother is not sane.”

“I don’t entirely disagree, but….” Kate trails off. “I just…I feel like I owe it to her-”

“No, Маленький ястреб, you do not owe your mother anything, least of all your time.” Yelena argues gently. “It is not your job to fix her problems.”

“But it’s also not my job to decide for the court if she should get bail.” Kate responds quietly. Yelena studies her expression for a few moments and nods slowly.

“Okay, this is true. But will you be happy if she comes back? Then all of the money, and the company, it will return to her. And you have worked so hard to fix everything.” Yelena points out. “You must think of all the facts before you decide.”

Kate knows that. But she also knows something that Yelena doesn’t; that she’s the one who put her mom in jail, and she’s the only family her mom has left, and she’s not too sure that she’d forgive herself is she doesn’t do something.

Even if it screws up her life in the process.

“Hmmm. I think you will decide on your own, Маленький ястреб.” Yelena says knowingly. Maybe she can see the look on Kate’s face, the anxiety, the differing thoughts that she’s flicking between. “But I will be here with you, anyway. You can trust me.”

“I know I can.” Kate murmurs, tugging her back and hugging her again. “You have no idea how much that means to me.”

Yelena smiles, a cheeky smile that Kate knows a little too well. “Oh, but I am sure that you will show me later.”

“Ha.” Kate snorts, kissing her cheek. “You bet, Sunshine.”

Even though she thinks that she’ll later regret it, Kate accepts her mother’s request and makes an appointment to go see her, for the first time in 2 years, next week.

And when next week finally rolls around, all hell breaks loose.

Kate insists on going alone. She knows her mother; while she’s known for a long time that Kate is Bisexual, she’s also been a little less than supportive when Kate has brought home girls in the past, even though she’s never seriously been interested in anyone before. But Yelena is different; and if her mother makes a single snide remark about Yelena’s increasingly shorter haircut, or her hand that literally never leaves Kate’s, or the fact that the woman she hired to kill Clint is now Kate’s girlfriend?

Oh, forget bail.

Kate might just end up in the slammer herself.
So she decides that it’s better to go alone, and that’s why she’s not aware of the fact that they do, finally, track the source of the hit to Valentina; who’s presently in Australia.

If Kate had known, she would’ve left straight away.

If Kate had known, she wouldn’t ever have let Yelena rush off, desperate to kill the woman, without any backup.

If Kate had been there, she’d have kicked someone in the ass for saying anything without thinking about the definite possibility of Yelena running off alone.

But Kate isn’t there.

Kate’s with her mom, who spends the entire time taking shots at her daughter and trying to guilt trip Kate into doing something illegal to get her the hell out of jail. Kate’s with her mom who still doesn’t respect boundaries, and she hates every single minute of it.

But things only get worse when she finally gets back to the Avenger’s Compound. 

Chaos hits Kate the moment she steps into the building—a heavy, suffocating feeling that makes her skin crawl. The higher-ups are nowhere to be seen, but Kamala’s face is streaked with tears, eyes wide with panic. Anastasia looks frozen, as numb as a girl raised to be a widow. Peter catches her gaze and bolts. Seconds later, Natasha and Wanda rush in, their faces a mix of guilt and terror.

“You’re back early,” Natasha says, her voice shaky, and never in her life has Kate seen the woman look genuinely scared. She’s on edge instantly, glancing around the room looking for signs of what’s going on when Anastasia sees Natasha and bolts over to her, clinging to her leg and sobbing softly.

“I am.” Kate’s voice is tight. Something’s off. Yelena hasn’t come to see her. It’s strange… and she hates her immediate reaction, hates that she can’t help but feel her heart rate increase. “What’s going on? Where’s Yelena?”

“Right, Kate, about that-” Natasha starts. 

“She’s gone.” Anastasia blurts out. “She ran off. And now there’s a crazy lady trying to kill her.”

Kate’s heart skips a beat. Maybe two. “What the hell?” She spins toward Natasha, her eyes flashing with fury. Natasha meets her gaze evenly, then covers Ana’s ears.

“Kate-” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Kate’s voice rises, sharp and disbelieving. “What the hell is she talking about?”

“Kate-” Wanda starts this time. 

“Don’t ‘Kate’ me.” Kate snaps. “Where is Yelena?”

“Listen to me.” Natasha’s voice hardens. “We got the intel on Valentina. She was the one who put the hit out. But Yelena didn’t even hesitate. One second we were in the briefing room, and the next…” Natasha swallows. “She was gone.”

“She left?” Kate stumbles over the words, running a hand through her hair, she feels sick to her stomach, and Nataha offers her a sympathetic look that makes her want to punch something. Instead, she tries to slow her breathing and absorb what she’s just heard. “Okay. Okay. I can handle that. I’ll just… go to her. Wait….why aren’t you with her?”

“Clint and I were getting ready to track her down, Kate,” Natasha says quietly. “But her tracker went offline. Just... disappeared.”

Kate’s blood runs cold. Offline . Yelena never took her tracker out, not even when she went rogue months ago. She only kept Kate from tracking her. No one else. If the tracker was off… 

It’s bad. Really bad.

“Okay.” Kate forces herself to breathe, her chest tight. “When did we last see her? Where was she?”

“Australia.” Natasha’s voice is measured, but there’s something else in her eyes. Surprise, maybe? That Kate isn’t coming apart. Kate doesn’t comment on it, but she also doesn’t blame her. Kate of a few months ago would’ve launched into action without thinking, but she can’t do that when Yelena’s life might be on the line. Because if there’s one thing her girlfriend has taught her, it’s that there’s time and place for impulse; and this isn’t one of them.

“She just landed in Sydney. Valentina’s been there for three weeks. Yelena was going to deal with the problem at the source.” Wanda explains. “At least, that’s what Nat thinks, and I’m with her.”

“Me too!” Ana chirps. 

Kate absorbs this, nodding slowly. She feels the knot in her stomach tighten even more, and she swallows back the anxiety so she can ask her next question. "And do we know of any organized crime gangs operating in the area?"

“The Black Hand,” Wanda answers. “They run an extortion ring, muscle for the bigger mobs. We were looking into them just now.”

“So there’s a chance Yelena’s with them?” Kate presses, her mind already racing through possibilities. “If you were already looking, that’s what you must think, right?” 

“There’s a chance, but we can’t confirm it yet. We know Yelena can handle herself, but outnumbered and alone in a foreign country? It’s a bad situation.” Wanda’s tone softens, but the warning is clear. “We can’t just rush into this.” 

“I’ll find her.” Kate says, the words sharper than she intends for them to be. Ana flinches and Kate’s expression softens into guilt.  “Please. Just follow me.”

Her mind is already on autopilot. Anger is still burning beneath her skin, but what’s worse is that this time, she wasn’t able to prevent Yelena from leaving. Distantly, she wonders if maybe her mother knew that this would happen, but she shakes the thought away. Even if her mom did, which is hard to imagine, Natasha and Wanda were easily an even match with Yelena on a good day. They should have stopped her. They should have done something before she was out there, alone, in enemy territory, and they should’ve called Kate the moment that it happened. 

“Why didn’t you do something sooner?” Kate’s voice is tight with frustration as they enter the briefing room. “How long has she been gone?” 

“Hold up, Hawkeye.” Natasha’s eyes narrow, her protective streak evidently triggered at the words. “I know you care about her, but so do I. She’s my sister. She told us she was coming for you, to bring you back so we could work out a plan. We didn’t know where Valentina was, Kate. We were supposed to be tracking her. I think Yelena figured it out and went after Valentina on her own.”

“She probably thought it was safer that way.” Wanda says softly.

Kate curses herself mentally. Turning on Natasha isn’t going to help her feel better. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Nat says. “I know you want to get her back, and we will, but worrying about what has already happened won’t make you feel better, Hawkeye.” 

Kate pushes down the guilt and nods resolutely at Natasha. “You’re right.” 

Clint’s voice cuts through the tension. Up until now, Kate hadn’t even noticed that her mentor was in the room, and she startles at hearing his voice. “What’s the plan, kid?”

Kate glances up at Clint, her smile barely reaching her eyes. Clint notices, but says nothing as he sits down across from her; she can tell by his awkward sideways glance. 

“I gave Yelena a necklace with a tracker,” Kate says, her voice steady, though her heart is anything but. “In case she ever decided to go disappearing on me again.” As she speaks, she opens up her PC that she keeps in the briefing room and logs in, navigating to her private security portal. 

Natasha’s eyes widen. “You’re tracking my sister without telling her?”

“She knew.” Kate raises an eyebrow. “She never takes it off. Haven’t you seen the necklace?”

Natasha looks away. If she hasn’t, she’s less observant than Kate’s given her credit for - the dainty ‘K’ gold necklace that Yelena’s been wearing for 4 and a half months is pretty noticeable. 

The room goes silent as she tries to log into her portal. It’s uncomfortable, and Kate can’t stand it. She wants Yelena to be here with her, and maybe she hasn’t fully wrapped her head around the fact that the widow is in real, actual danger. 

Finally, the screen blinks. Kate lets out a breath of relief. “There we go. She’s 300 miles west of Sydney. Let’s go.”

Without waiting for anyone else to say anything, Kate grabs her bow and steps out of the room. She’s taller than most of the other people in the room, and she walks quickly towards the elevators so she can get to the launch bay.

“Kate! Wait for the rest of us.” Wanda calls.

“I can’t.” Kate calls back, and she means it, she can’t hold still, can’t bear the thought of doing anything but bringing Yelena home safely, and to hell with everyone and everything else. The team catches her a few seconds later. Natasha is not so silently cursing the archer under her breath. 

“Geez, kid. What are you eating?” Clint grumbles as they move.

“I think you mean who’s been training her.” Natasha corrects with a slight eye roll. “Yelena was insistent that Kate know how to defend herself in every situation.”

“Can she?” Wanda asks, still carrying Ana.

“She’d give me a run for my money. I’d still win, but it’d hurt.” Natasha admits. “But that’s not the point.”

“So what’s the plan?” Clint asks, breaking the silence that fills the elevator as they head up to the launch bay. Kate’s beginning to dread the missions that start like this; one way or another, they all end with her very, very miserable. She’s scared that this mission isn’t going to go as well as the others she’s had lately.

And it’s the one time where it really matters to her that it works.

“You don’t have to come, Clint.” Kate’s voice softens, because Clint has a family, and she loves little Nate, and Layla is hilarious, and the entire family deserves their dad. She shouldn't be expecting him to come with her for something so dangerous. “We really don’t know what’s going to be there waiting for us.”

“Kate, Yelena is family.” Clint says gently. “And I wouldn’t let you go alone for anything. We’re here to help, but you have to let us, okay?”

“I know.” Kate answers quietly. “I just want to kick Valentina’s ass into next week.”

Natasha laughs lightly, but the sound doesn’t break the heavy tension in the room. Moments later, they’re airborne, and the longest flight of Kate’s life begins in the worst way possible - without Yelena.

~

Arriving in Sydney isn’t as amazing as Kate was anticipating. She’s always dreamed of coming to Australia, but it’s dampened somewhat by the fact that Yelena isn’t here with her, and that is all she can focus on. The team travels in relative silence as they trek through long grass to approach the outskirts of the warehouse where hopefully, they’ll be able to find answers on where Yelena is. The outskirts of Sydney are quieter than Kate expected. It’s almost eerie, the kind of quiet that suggests things are either going perfectly or terribly wrong. 

Wanda leads the group, her eyes glowing faintly as she uses her powers to probe the minds of a couple of the gang who are guarding the door. “Yelena’s not inside, and these guys don’t know where she is.” Wanda whispers. “But I think someone inside might.”

“So what’s the next move?” Clint asks, just as quiet.

Kate’s biting her lip because if she speaks, her anxiety is going to make her voice crack; and she’s got no sense of ‘quiet’ when she’s as scared as she is right now.

“We need to get inside.” Natasha answers him. “There’s not a whole heap of guys here, actually, it seems like there’s less than a dozen.”

“Why so few?”

“Because the people who are necessary are probably guarding Yelena.” Wanda says thoughtfully.

“Or whatever it is that they’re hunting for isn’t in Sydney.” Kate blurts, and it’s too loud, and there’s sudden movement from upstairs; loud feet thumping down the staircase as Natasha tries not to get angry at her.

“You could be right, but it may be better if you keep your ideas to yourself right now. You’re too loud.” Natasha says, not unkindly.

Kate nods as Natasha gestures for Wanda to cover them. Her eyes begin glowing again, but this time, her power knocks the men unconscious, all except one; a younger guy who looks absolutely terrified.

He’s dazed and disoriented and he looks like he’s going to pee himself. “Listen to me very carefully.” Natasha says, bending down to his level. “Answer my questions, and this goes easy for you. Make it harder, or waste my time, and you’re in for a world of pain.”

“I’ll tell you everything, just please don’t hurt me!” The boy sobs.

“You’re not in trouble unless you make this hard,” Kate says, her voice surprisingly calm. Wanda raises an eyebrow but says nothing, still concentrating on using her powers to keep the boy sedated.

“Where is the woman that your gang kidnapped?” Natasha demands.

“I-I don’t know!” He protests.

Kate pulls an arrow into her bow. Clint stiffens, but doesn’t intervene. “Answer the fucking question, kid.”

“You….you’re not going to shoot me!” He sneers. “You lot are the good guys. Avengers.”

“Do I look like an avenger to you?” Kate snaps. “Answer me.”

The boy licks his lips. “We didn’t take any girl. She came to us.”

“Bullshit!” Kate grinds out, grabbing his shirt collar. “We know where she was going.”

“Did you also know that the person who asked us to do this is here waiting for her? The blonde lady walked into the trap, that’s not our fault.” The boy rolls his eyes. 

“Where is she?” Natasha repeats.

“I don’t know.” 

Wanda steps forward, her gaze intense, and the man’s eyes immediately go blank as she pulls at his consciousness. “You’re not being honest,” Wanda says quietly. “Try again.”

The man jerks as his memories are pried open. “Okay, okay! She’s locked up in the basement, the second floor of the warehouse! They said she was some kind of intel source—kept asking questions about the Widows. That’s all I know!”

Kate exhales slowly, trying to keep her anger in check. She’s never wanted to see someone bleed out as badly as she does right now. The boy watches them all with distrust, but looking at Kate; he’s downright terrified, and it doesn’t fill her with guilt like it usually would.

“Nice work kid. You get to live. Until your friends realize that you sold them out.” Wanda comments lightly. She gestures for the team to follow her out of the building and regards Kate with a patient, curious look. “Alright. His memories were hazy, but there’s activity related to all of this up in some place called Brisbane. There’s a series of warehouses where they transport their goods.” 

“How do we get there?” Kate asks immediately.

Wanda, to her credit, doesn’t get annoyed like her girlfriend; who opens her mouth to say something when Wanda answers first. “I’m not sure yet. I have an address, but getting the Quinjet into a major city isn’t going to be easy.”

“And Yelena isn’t even an Australian citizen. If we alert them to the fact that she’s here, it’s going to be a huge problem.” Clint points out. “We don’t know how she got into the country.”

“Not if we make use of a little ... .persuasion.” Wanda points out. “I can make people forget that we were there.”

“But an entire city?”

“I don’t think you’ve met me when I’m angry.” Wanda shrugs. “Be that as it may, all we need to do is fly the Quinjet to a private airfield. After that, a bit of cloaking and a few memory wipes will cover us.”

Kate massages her temples. It’s not the greatest of plans, but she doesn’t have time to think of a better one. None of them do. There’s conversation between the rest of her team, but she doesn’t focus on it, wouldn’t if she was even able to, because her mind is awash with anxiety and tension, her head is pounding, and all she wants is to find Yelena and bring her home.

And then there’s the building worry that, if they do even manage to find her, she might not be okay.

“Kate.” Natasha calls her name to get her attention. “We have to go.”

Kate nods slowly at the widow, following her into the hull of the Quinjet.

______

Arriving in Brisbane doesn’t help her to feel any better, but she’s glad that they are, at least, closer to finding Yelena. Wanda and Natasha activate the cloaking tech on the Quinjet while Clint scopes out the area they’ve landed in.

Warehouse after warehouse. If Kate was feeling better, she probably would make a joke about how bad guys were unoriginal. If Yelena were here, she’d roll her eyes, and say something like “you’re an idiot, Kate Bishop” while Natasha and Wanda tried to scope out their next steps.

Without Yelena, Kate doesn’t even want to think about a stupid joke to make.

As usual, the warehouse air is suffocating. Every moment that passes stretches Kate’s patience thinner, until it feels like her heart might snap under the pressure. Every instinct is screaming at her to go faster, to tear through the place and find Yelena, but she forces herself to slow down, to focus.

Natasha is ahead as usual, her posture alert, scanning the space with practiced precision. Wanda has her powers at the ready, eyes glowing faintly as she floats inches above the ground, head constantly turning, looking for anything—anyone—who might be a threat. Still, Kate doesn’t feel safe. She won’t be happy until she knows that she can bring Yelena home. 

She’s so out of it that she can’t even stop her hands from trembling. She knows that it’s irrational, knows that adrenaline and fear are doing their work on her, but it didn’t stop the anxiety bubbling in her chest. The what ifs won’t leave her. Clint seems to sense her anxiety and reaches over to grab her hand. “It’s okay, kid. We’re gonna get her out of here.”

Kate manages a tight smile that comes out more like a grimace, but she doesn’t respond; before she can Nat points to a large steel staircase. “I think if Clint and Wanda get up there, they’ll have a good vantage point to take down anyone who gets in the way.”

“She’s right.” Clint says. “You might be a better shot than me, Kate, but i can still hit an apple of Nat’s head from 300 yards. This’ll be a cinch.”

Kate wonders why it feels like they’re asking her permission. “You’re….asking me?”

“Look, this is your mission first and foremost. I know you won’t forgive yourself if you can’t tell Yelena you did everything you could to get her home.” Wanda says gently. “We’ll head up there and be your look outs. Nat will go with you to scope it all out.”

“Okay.” Kate nods quickly. “Good….good plan.”

She’s not even articulating herself properly. No one says anything. 

The team splits in two, with Wanda and Clint climbing and setting up while Natasha pulls her along down the dimly lit hallway. Finally, they come to a large archway, with a door that’s wide open. Nat pulls her in and they slip behind a stack of crates that manages to hide them from the guard’s line of sight.

“There she is.” Natasha mutters.

Kate follows her gaze, and her breath is caught in her throat.

Yelena . 

There, in the middle of the dimly lit room, is Yelena. Bruised, battered, her face a swollen mess of cuts and dried blood, her hair matted to her scalp. She’s slumped in a chair, hands tied tightly behind her back, ropes digging into the skin of her wrists. She’s barely conscious, her head hanging forward like a ragdoll, chest rising and falling shallowly. A faint trail of blood drips from her lip, staining the fabric of her black tactical vest.

Kate’s breath catches in her throat. If she was angry before, she’s borderline murderous now, and she’s pulling an arrow into her bow before she can even blink.

She’s going to kill them. 

The impulse to run to her, to untie her, to make sure Yelena is okay—it hits Kate like a physical blow. She moves a step forward, but Natasha’s hand shoots out, stopping her in her tracks. She’s just starting to assess the best line to take if she wants to clip 3 guys with one shot when she feels it, and she spins to scowl at the redhead.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Kate spits. 

“Wait,” Natasha’s voice is low, barely audible.

“But she’s-” Kate begins to argue. 

“Hold on.” Natasha’s eyes are sharp, narrowed in that dangerous way she has when she’s assessing a situation. “Look closer. Don’t feel. Think. Look.” 

Kate’s gaze flickers to Yelena again, but now her eyes catch something that make her pause. The way Yelena’s body sags unnaturally, the dullness in her eyes. Her chest is rising and falling, no doubt, but it’s too shallow for someone who has trained her entire life to control her breath in extreme conditions. She hasn’t even seen Yelena break a sweat when they’re training. But this isn’t that; There isn’t any strength in her, any fight. Even her usual snarl of contempt is missing.

If Kate didn’t know better, she’d say Yelena looked defeated.

But Yelena is a widow. The white widow. Drekov’s favourite. This isn’t right. Kate looks closer, desperate to see what it is that Natasha is seeing, when it clicks.

If this isn’t natural, then something is wrong. How else would you keep a widow contained for 24 hours and she doesn’t escape? That doesn’t make any sense. 

Kate’s stomach drops as she turns to look at Nat again. “She… she’s been sedated.”

Natasha nods, her expression blank like she’s trying not to think about it being Yelena but just another target to rescue. “No way she’d stay down if she wasn’t. Someone made sure of that. Whatever they gave her, it’s enough to keep her from using her skills to escape.” +

“But why?” Kate whispered, her throat tight. “Why would they….what do they get out of this?”

“They wouldn’t have taken her lightly. Whatever they did, it was designed to keep her from thinking clearly. To make sure she couldn’t fight back or—” She paused, her eyes flicking over Yelena again, as though confirming the thought. “Or escape. Valentina is probably going to come here.”

“I’m going to kill her.” Kate spits under her breath. Her eyes are glued to Yelena. Every time she sees her, she sees the blood trickling down her forehead, and the defeated way she’s sagging into her restraints. She’s never seen Yelena like this—vulnerable, weak. Yelena is always the one who saves them, always the one to tell Kate how she can do better.

Seeing her like this… It feels wrong. It makes Kate feel like the ground has been ripped out from under her. She’s sick to her stomach, and she can’t just sit here, to hell with what Nat thinks. 

“I’m not waiting,” Kate declares. “I have to get her.”

“We have to be patient.” Nat argues gently. “We can’t just rush in-”

“I can’t watch them hurt her!” Kate snaps. “I have to do something.”

She moves to take a step away from Nat, but the moment she does, something in Yelena shifts. Her eyelids flutter, just for a second, as though struggling to stay awake. Then her head jerks up, and for the briefest moment, her eyes meet Kate’s. 

Kate freezes. God, she’s never been so miserable and relieved all at once. Yelena’s gaze locks onto her’s; eyes clouded with the effects of sedation. She’s never seen Yelena look so much like the feared assassin that she is; but for a split second, the expression fades. Yelena’s face softens, the faintest relief showing before it’s masked again by the cold, calculated look she always wears in the field.

Kate's pulse quickens and she swears she’s going to cry. 

In that fraction of a second, Yelena proved that she knew Kate and Natasha were there. Yelena was awake, or at least, partially conscious enough to understand that rescue was imminent. Kate’s chest fills with relief. She can do this, she can get Yelena home safely.

She’s just gotta be careful.

And then Yelena’s breathing starts to slow.

Kate isn’t sure how she notices it. One minute, the widow seemed dull but mostly fine. Now, Yelena’s chest is rising and falling slowly, far too slowly for her to be getting sufficient oxygen. Her breathing shallows to the point of scaring Kate, her eyelids flutter closed, and Kate thinks she might throw up.

“She’s passing out. Oh my god, she’s reacting to the sedative.”

“No she’s not.” Natasha assures, hand still gripping Kate’s arm. “She’s playing dead, Kate. It’s an old widow’s trick.”

“What are you talking about?” Kate whispers urgently. “Is she okay?”

“It’s a technique taught to all widows, Kate. I promise she’s okay. We were all trained to hold out breaths just long enough that we could fall unconscious. It’s only for extreme situations. Later on, Drekov would just kill the girls who knew too much instead of trying to save them. All widows were taught to only use the trick if they needed to make themselves appear utterly helpless but they knew their rescue was close. Designed to prevent more questions.”

“Okay. Okay, I can….I can handle that.” Kate murmurs. “That means….that means she feels safe, right? She knows we can do this.” 

Natasha’s voice is steady. She trusts Yelena, that much is clear. “Of course. Traditionally, widows are given a shot of adrenaline to bring them back to, but she’s done the right thing. Her awake but sedated will be a lot harder to get out of here than her being asleep.”

“We’ve got to get her out of there.” Kate hisses. “It’s been too long.” 

Natasha’s hand grips her arm, her voice low but commanding. “We wait for Valentina.”

Kate's jaw clenches with frustration. "I’m done waiting. This is Yelena. If it were us she wouldn’t hesitate, Nat.”

“She would if it meant we could cut the problem off at it’s root.” Natasha argues. “We have to be patient. “

“But what if they hurt her even more?” Kate splutters.

“I need you to trust me, Bishop.” Natasha says seriously. “I wouldn’t put my little sister in danger, do you understand me?”

The panic in her throat eases somewhat. She’s forgetting that Nat loves her little sister, and it’s wrong. Kate isn’t the only person who’s here risking their life to try and save the blonde. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Kate.” Natasha assures. “I get it. Clint. What do we have?”

Kate swallows as Clint’s voice crackles through their earpieces. “Looks like five of them from what I can see. Most of the muscle isn’t here, they’re at the other building. And they’re not too pleased with Valentina.”

“Why?” Kate demands. 

“Well, one of 'em's about to throw a punch. The others are pissed because Valentina hasn’t paid them for their last job. Lots of talk about what’s owed.” Clint informs them. 

Kate frowns, still holding her bow and arrow steady. “Owed? What do you mean?”

“Sounds like they’re getting real impatient. Talking like Valentina promised them a cut of something big and hasn’t come through on her end.”

Kate exchanges a glance with Natasha. Unpaid grunts dealing with a woman who never kept her word? They weren’t just idiots who decided to kidnap a widow, they were dangerous. Because anyone who did things for money would become highly volatile when money wasn’t being paid.

A moment later, Clint’s voice came again, quieter now. “Valentina’s not here. But she just spoke. She’s asking about what they’ve gotten from Yelena.”

Kate’s pulse lurches at his words. “What did they say?”

Clint’s voice is almost proud. “Not much. Apparently, Yelena’s a tough nut to crack. One of them said she’s been too stubborn to give up any information.”

Stubborn . Kate can practically hear Yelena’s voice in her head, defiant as always in everything that she does. She’s strong. She’s always strong, and it’s one of the things she loves most about Yelena; her tenacity, the fact that she never gives in even when no one would blame her for it. 

“And the others?” Natasha’s voice was measured.

Clint responds with a faint snort. “Same. They tried everything, but she wouldn’t break. They’re pissed about that. Keeps them from getting paid, I guess.”

Kate’s fingers twitch at her bow. *That’s Yelena,* she murmurs proudly. “She’d rather die than give up information.”

“Well, let’s make sure she doesn’t.” Wanda comments lightly. 

Kate opens her mouth to respond when the sound of heels clacking against the stone floors echoes through the warehouse. Her head flies up, eyes narrowing in on the unmistakable figure of the woman she’s been investigating for weeks; the woman behind all of this.

Valentina, it seems, has arrived.

“What have you idiots done? Is she alive?” Valentina snaps. “I need information from her.”

“She fainted.” One of the men shrugs. “We’re tracing down some jump cables.”

Kate wants to vomit. She shoots a look at Nat, who nods like she gets it. The archer’s hand remains steady on her bow, and she hears Nat give the others the order; seconds later, all five men, including the one standing directly beside Valentina, drop to the floor dead.

Valentina’s body jolts away from the bleeding corpse, eyes wide with terror. Kate is only seconds away from taking her shot when the black haired woman whips a small, glinting blade from her pocket, and reaches down, roughly grabbing a fistful of Yelena’s hair and yanking her head back, exposing her throat. The blade flashes in the dim light, pressed against Yelena’s skin, just hard enough to make Kate’s heart stop.

"One move," Valentina spits, her voice sharp with malice, "and she’s dead."

Kate looks to her left where Nat has her gun trained on Valentina. One wrong move is literal. That blade is easily sharp enough to cut her regardless of the amount of pressure. If Valentina falls forwards or backwards, she’s going to hurt Yelena.

And Kate won’t let that happen.

“Put it down, Valentina.” Natasha snaps. “You’re outnumbered and alone.”

“You can’t see that I have the upper hand?” Valentina scoffs.

Her voice drowns into the background as Kate assesses the situation. The seconds feel like hours, and Kate can hear the blood pumping in her ears. Valentina’s hand is still gripping Yelena’s hair tightly, and the urge to run at the woman is simmering in her veins. 

But she has to be smart. She has to wait for the right moment, that’s all Yelena has been teaching her, right?

Valentina glances to the side for a split second and Kate decides that waiting isn’t an option. Even though it’s harebrained, and very reckless, and maybe plain stupid, she throws her bow and arrow to the side and launches herself at Valentina. There’s no hesitation, and Valentina’s eyes widen with fear as she stumbles back, the blade just far enough from Yelena that when Kate tackles her legs to bring her to the floor, she doesn’t injure the blonde.

Valentina barely has time to react. She pulls the knife back into view and Kate’s almost certain she’s about to be stabbed. The archer shifts her body to the side as the blade flies towards her chest, and she uses her left hand to rip the blade from Valentina’s hand on the go down.

She can’t really say that she needed to kill Valentina.

But gods, did she want to.

The knife flies back down into the middle of the woman’s chest and her blood splatters all over Kate’s face.

She raises it again and repeats the motion, the blade glinting with blood from a second stab wound as more blood gushes out of the wounds. Valentina screams, pleading for mercy that doesn’t come. Kate’s not really sure how to explain the thought process behind the action; her mind is a haze of anger, and it’s taking over every single movement.

Kate couldn’t tell you how many times she stabs Valentina.

She couldn’t tell you when the screaming stopped and the woman had gone limp. She doesn’t know who even stops her.

The only thing she knows for sure is that she’s here, Valentina’s blood dripping off her hands and staining her uniform, and she’s murdered a woman not because she really needed to, but because Valentina had the audacity to go near Yelena.

“Kate.” Nat whispers. “She’s gone.”

“I want to make sure.” Kate spits. She kicks Valentina’s limp body and scowls at it. “I hope she burns in hell.”

“We need to leave.” Clint says. She’s expecting disappointment, or maybe disgust, or possibly fear, but there’s nothing like it on his face; just understanding, and it’s a relief she doesn’t know that she needed.

“He’s right.” Wanda agrees. “Get your girl. We’re leaving.”

Kate grabs the knife and begins tearing up the binds that keep Yelena in place. Her girlfriend’s body flops forwards, and Kate catches her in a tight embrace, scooping up the blonde and cradling her to her chest. “Hey Sunshine. We’re going home.” She whispers gently.

Yelena’s head is tucked into her neck and Kate breathes in deeply with relief.

She’s safe, and she’s home.

Kate would’ve done anything today to make sure this was how things ended.

______

The hum of the infirmary machines is the only thing that’s keeping Kate tethered to the present.

Yelena has been out for hours.

Nat warned her that this could happen; hence why most widows were given an immediate shock to wake them. But Kate can’t bear the idea of doing that to Yelena, not when she’s already been through hell in the past 29 hours, so she declines; and instead, she sits by the widow’s side all night and into early hours of the morning.

No one tells Sam why they all disappeared and Kate’s come back drenched in someone else’s blood. Peter regards her with an understanding looks, and he tells her that if he could’ve done that to the people who took Tony away, he’d have done it.

She’s glad someone else can understand her decision.

The idea of killing people at random on an assignment doesn’t sit right with her. Still, as she tries to scrub the blood from her hands and face, Kate can’t help but wonder if this will change her forever.

Even now, she doesn’t regret it.

She’s pretty sure that if it had come to it, Kate would’ve been happy to kill every person in that room.

The hum of the infirmary machines fills the room again, steady and almost comforting now, as Kate watches Yelena. The blonde’s skin is still pale, but the bruising around her neck is already starting to fade, and there’s a warmth returning to her body that makes Kate’s heart settle. Yelena’s been cleaned up, stitched up, and hydrated, but the worst part is over. For now, anyway. The rest is just… waiting.  

Kate can’t seem to stop herself from glancing down at her girlfriend every few seconds, checking if she’s okay, if she’s still there, still breathing. Each time her gaze meets Yelena’s quiet face, a weight settles back on her chest, and she can’t help but rub her thumb along Yelena’s hand, just to remind herself that the woman beside her is real. That she made it. That she’s here.

It feels like the hours have stretched into days, and just as Kate starts to wonder if she’s imagined the smallest shift in the room—whether she’s finally losing her mind after so many hours of tense silence—Yelena’s hand twitches. Her fingers flex once, twice, and then, with a grunt, Yelena stirs, muttering something under her breath in Russian as her eyes slowly blink open.  

"Маленький ястреб." The words are soft but unmistakable.  

Kate’s heart skips, a rush of warmth flooding her chest as she jolts forward in her seat. “Oh my God, Sunshine.” She blurts the words before she can stop herself, her hands already reaching for the call button, then immediately for Yelena’s hand, holding it tightly as she leans over. “How are you feeling? You want some water? Are you hot? Cold? I swear to God, if you make me wait another second, I’ll—”  

“Kate Bishop,” Yelena rasps, cutting her off with the sharpness of her voice despite its softness from exhaustion. “Calm down.”  

Kate stares at her, wide-eyed, and she feels a little ridiculous for having gotten so worked up because now Yelena is watching her with an amused expression. “I—sorry,” she stammers, her shoulders slumping with relief. “You scared the hell out of me, Yelena. Don’t do that again, okay?”  

Yelena pushes herself up slowly, wincing slightly as she adjusts to sitting up in the bed. She shoots Kate a look; part apology, part exasperation,and then raises an eyebrow. “I am sorry, Kate Bishop. I was much too eager. I did not realize how dangerous it was until I arrived, and then…” Her voice softens, a vulnerable undertone creeping in. “I just... hoped that you would find me. And it works, no?” 

Kate can’t stop the relief that pours out of her. She leans down, pressing a kiss to Yelena’s cheek, her lips lingering for a beat longer than necessary, as if trying to tell herself that this moment is real, that Yelena is here and she’s alive.

“I know,” she whispers. “I know. I just… Lena, you know I’m here for you, right? Always. 24/7, 365. If you’re going to run into fire, then let me run with you. So I can keep you safe.”  

Yelena’s gaze softens at that, her fingers brushing a strand of Kate’s hair behind her ear. “I promise,” she murmurs. Then, as if shifting back into her old self, her lips curl into a small, teasing smile. “You killed her.”  

Kate blinks, stunned by the sudden shift. “What…..Valentina? How did you know that?”  

Yelena’s smirk widens. “Well, I would love to give you some cool story about how blood smells different depending on type, and I know Val’s type, but it is just because I know you, Kate Bishop. You are open book to me.” She takes Kate’s larger hands gently in her own, inspecting them with a mix of tenderness and curiosity. “This… and you have blood on your hands.”  

Kate swallows hard. The words hit differently now, the weight of her actions suddenly more real, more unavoidable. “She had a knife to your throat,” Kate admits quietly. “One minute, she’s threatening us, and the next, I… I just sort of threw myself at her. I got her knife out of her hands and stabbed her with it. And then…..I didn’t stop.” 

Yelena gently tucks the stray hair that has fallen into Kate’s eyes behind her ear gently. “I am proud of you,” Yelena says simply, her voice soft but steady. “Thank you, Kate.”  

Kate stares at her. If she was Yelena, she’d hate herself. “You are?” she asks, her voice small. “I can’t decide if I feel terrible for what I did… or if she deserved it. And even if she did, I lost track of how many times I…..well. You know.” 

Yelena’s smile softens with understanding. “I know it is not easy. But when I tell you I love you, Kate Bishop, I put all of me in your hands. I told you, I am selfish. It does not matter how you kept me safe, only that you did. For me… this does not change anything. I am not expecting you to kill people for fun, Маленький ястреб. I only want you to know how to keep yourself safe when necessary. As hero, it is necessary.”  

Kate’s chest feels lighter at the words, like a knot that had been tightly wound in her gut slowly begins to unravel. “I know,” she whispers, her hand finding Yelena’s once more. “I know.”  

The room falls into a comfortable silence, and for a few moments, they just sit there. Kate brushes her lips over Yelena’s cheek once more, a gentle kiss, almost as if to say everything she couldn’t put into words. She’s relieved that Yelena is here with her, and right now, she’s just happy to enjoy the ability to soak up the widow’s presence and to assure herself that Yelena is really okay. 

Suddenly, the door flies open, and Natasha, Clint, and Wanda march in, looking more than a little relieved to see Yelena awake. Kate stands up to give the sisters space, and Natasha hugs her sister tightly, conversing with her in quiet russian that makes her girlfriend tear up.

Kate is almost tempted to demand an explanation, but she’s done enough aggressive things for one day, so she doesn’t, just waits for Wanda to say her own piece and Clint to offer some teasing remarks that really mean “i love you, don’t do that again.” 

“Well, looks like our favorite Russian spy is back from the dead,” Clint teases, crossing his arms. 

“How unfortunate. Your closet is nice.” Natasha adds, smirking.

“I for one was enjoying not copping an eyeful if I had to go near the training room.” Wanda adds.

“Or the showers.” Nat teases.

“Or the tv room-”

“Okay, this is enough.” Yelena cuts Wanda off. “This is how you treat injured person? You are all very charming. Please leave.”

“You know you love it.” Clint chuckles. “Things wouldn’t be the same without you.”

“Well, good, because I am not going anywhere. You will be stuck with me forever now.”

“I promise, we’ll survive.” Kate snorts, kissing her forehead affectionately.

“Oh my god, get a room.” Natasha grumbles.

“We had one!” Kate splutters. “You came here.” 

Natasha argues with her for a minute before ushering the rest of the team out .Yelena looks relieved and snuggles herself back into Kate. “You will not leave?”

“I won’t.” Kate promises. “I’m always going to keep you safe, Lena.”

It’s a promise she makes to herself just as much as she makes it to Yelena.

And it’s a promise she keeps.

6 years later

“No, Derek, you can’t climb that, what if you fall?”

Kate rushes over to stop her son from trying to climb the massive oak tree out the back area of the Avengers compound. “Come on, Bud. You have to be more careful.”

“Oh, this is coming from you?” Yelena snorts, coming up behind Kate and shooing her away. “I remember someone who ran into a building with a bomb last week because you thought you were quick enough.”

“Hey, in my defense, it wasn’t even rigged.” Kate argues, but there’s no bite; her expression lilts into a warm smile as her wife hugs her around the waist. “I just want him to be careful.”

“I know, Маленький ястреб. Do not worry.” Yelena assures.

“Where’s Mila?” Kate asks, dropping a kiss to her wife’s cheek as the three head back inside of the compound.

“Oh, Natasha has-”

“Aaaaand coming in for the landing, it’s Mila, she’s gonna make it straight to her mom!” Natasha says, earning loud giggles from their daughter, who’s just turned 3, her dirty blonde hair a mess of curls as her aunty launches her at Kate.

“Awww.” Yelena coos. “Did your тетенька make you laugh, my love?”

“Да.” Mila beams, hugging her mother tightly. “She’s funny mama!”

“I’m even more funny!” Derek argues. “I am so funny that Uncle Clint actually fell over the other day.”

“Derek, you tripped him over.” Kate laughs at the memory.

“I’ll prove it.” Derek declares, making grabby hands at his little sister, who wiggles from Nat’s arms to follow her big brother. “Okay, ready? We’re gonna go scare Aunty Wanda!”

“I really wouldn’t do that-” Kate starts, but Derek runs down the hallway with little Mila right on his heels, Natasha going after them as Yelena just shakes her head fondly.

“It is like he got all of your most cheeky qualities, Моя любовь.” Yelena winks. 

“At least they don’t snore.” Kate teases.

“Kate Bishop! I do not snore! This is outrage.” Yelena splutters.

“It’s true, Sunshine. But don’t worry. We’ll make sure the kids don’t get your snoring habits.” Kate teases, kissing her wife. “I’m sure we can stuff their mouths with marshmallows.”

“You are a disaster, Kate Bishop.” Yelena snorts. 

Kate laughs, her voice full of affection as she tucks her head into Yelena’s shoulder. “But I’m your disaster.”  

Yelena chuckles, arms tightening around her. “And I will protect you from your own mess, Маленький ястреб.”  

And just like that, Kate knows, with certainty, that whatever comes next, they’ll face it together. Always.