"Focus, Enid. . ."

  Enid was burning up, hot pain pulsing through every muscle. It was hard to think, to breathe, it still smells of silver and the suspect’s stench.

Her mouth tastes like iron, her tongue curls in distaste. It’s still wet and sticky against the skin of her chin, Enid watches as it drips down and soaks into the white of Wednesday’s button up. Her wolf is trying to claw its way out, her insides were too hot, bloody wounds inflicted from the inside, she was in pain, a burning sensation she couldn't soothe. It was somewhere she could never reach.  

The only way to do so would be to let the beast take the reins but Enid couldn’t do that. She just couldn’t . I wish I could.

Something tugs at the tie around her neck, Enid growls, her claws digging into the shower's wall tiles, leaving bloody streaks against the white.

 “Will you stop that?” It was hard enough to keep her head above the haze, Wednesday was distracting, like a silent howling call to the wolf embedded deep into her soul. At the thought, Enid feels the bones in her ankles snap and rearrange, she grits her teeth, and swallows the blood in her mouth. It does nothing to satisfy the urges.

 “What a strange moment to transform Sinclair.”

Enid shakes her head, I’m broken. “I can’t. . .” She whispers.

A snap again and it hurts. It hurts like it always does every full moon, but this wasn’t a full moon. No, this was broad daylight, something that only happened once and never again. At least not until now.

And Enid’s eyes find the pale skin of Wednesday’s neck, and is reminded of why she’s here, in this tub, covered in blood with pain coursing through her body. The flesh there is turning a color, big angry handprints forming in hues of purple and blue and yellow, Enid clenches her jaw, grinds her teeth together at the sight. She wishes she ripped his throat out. Wishes she gutted him when she had the chance. 

Enid’s eyes trails up to her partner’s lips, seeing them move but not really hearing a word. She glances back down and wonders what it’ll feel like to sink her teeth in. 

Enid startles at the thought, then it’s swept away in an angry haze when Wednesday tugs at her tie again and the wolf peeks through with its hackles raised.

 “ Stop, Addams.” She hisses, Enid tries to reign herself back in, meeting the blackness of Wednesday’s eyes.

Her prey –Stop— Her partner doesn’t falter at the sight of Enid’s wolf, instead she simply raises her hand, brushes against the fur on Enid’s jaw and the lycan feels a different kind of warmth inside her body at the light touch. It doesn’t burn, it doesn’t hurt. It feels safe.

 She looks down again, sees the forming bruises and a different kind of thought runs about in her head, circling over and over. Enid wants to run her tongue against the skin and up until she can taste the sharp jawline of Wednesday’s face.

 “—pect got away.”

Snap out of it. Enid blinks, slowly, each blink bringing her head out of its fog. What was Wednesday talking about? The suspect? Enid's throat is dry, she answers anyways, “He. . . won’t. . . get far.” It was hard to focus, her senses were muddled and all the lycan could smell with every inhale of breath was blood, her partner’s blood, and pinewood and old books.

 “For someone who despises blood, you’ve made such a mess. We’re covered in it.”

The pain is back suddenly, it’s sharp and dull all at once, the tip of her fingers are bleeding, her teeth ache, her body is screaming to be free from the pain and Enid wishes she could just do it. 

 The pain fuels the anger and the anger unlocks the beast. 

 “This would be over faster if you would— “

And Enid slips away seamlessly, and someone else enters instead. “Stop fucking talking.” Enid feels the guilt, in talking to Wednesday this way, it’s something she wouldn’t do if she was in her right mind. But she’s not, the torture Enid’s own nature is doing to her is driving her up the wall, leaving her hollow.

Still, it clears a moment, Enid gets a few seconds of clarity as the wave of pain passes. She sucks in a deep breath, remembering where she is, who she is. Enid realizes she’s blocking Wednesday’s way to get out.

  Focus. The suspect. “Let’s go find the idiot— “

The lycan stumbles forward from the force Wednesday uses to tug Enid back down. “No.” She says, peering up at Enid through dark eyelashes.

Enid frowns, asks why and Wednesday replies with, “You are a danger to the suspect. We need him alive.”

You are a danger to people Enid! There’s the memory of her mom flashing quickly in her mind, their fighting, a clash of angry words and far too many tears, words echoing in her ears, Look at what you’ve done! Enid leaves and the wolf enters, again.

Enid snarls and bares her teeth, she isn't unstable. She had learned. She wasn’t dangerous. 

 “I am not a danger to the suspect Wednesday,” Enid pulls away, they had to go and arrest him, he could’ve called someone to get him by now.

 “I disagree, you nearly ripped his throat out Sinclair. It seems you can’t control yourself.”

You can’t control yourself, Enid. She was seeing red, blinding red. You have to go away for a while. Enid grips a handful of Wednesday’s shirt, pulling the woman closer, Enid growls, words tumbling from her mouth, “You have no idea how much I held myself back.”

“Clearly not enough. All this blood belongs to him.”

The lycan leans closer, Wednesday keeps pushing and pushing. “You have no idea how much I wanted to gut him until he was on the floor gasping for mercy,” Stop talking. “Begging me not to kill him. To not rip his throat out with my teeth.” The urge should terrify her. It doesn’t.

Enid doesn’t know why she looks down at this moment, eyes breaking away from the darkness of Wednesday’s own and back to her neck. 

It reminds Enid what caused her shifting in the first place. “So don’t you dare say I have no self control. I’m sorry I was angered by the sight of his hands around your neck.” The words leave her in harsh and bitter tones. I’m sorry I care about you.

Wednesday’s eyebrows crease, her lips parting to reply but agony hits Enid suddenly, leaving her to collapse against the only thing there to catch her. She trembles and sucks in fast breaths to hopefully dull out the sting, she holds onto Wednesday, claws finding her back and digging into the flesh.

 “How long does this last?” Forever. It always feels like forever.

Enid can’t answer, her throat closes and she hides herself away in the crook of Wednesday’s neck. Wednesday stiffens against the movement, Enid makes a mental note to apologize later.

Enid keeps her eyes clenched shut, breathing in her partner’s scent, it soothes her, it makes the wounds on the inside stop burning, she finds it easier to breathe. 

 “Focus, Enid. . .” Focus on me. Enid hears instead and she does. 

It helps. To think of Wednesday, to let herself crumble against the woman.

 “I’m trying.” Enid whispers, and it’s working, the call to transform is fading away.

 “You refuse to transform.” Wednesday says, the lycan stills, then sighs.

 “I don’t refuse . I can’t” The confession leaves easily, Enid thought it would be harder to admit.

There’s a brief moment of silence before Wednesday asks a question, “You can’t turn?” Enid almost cracks a smile, because once again she hears the tiniest bit of emotion in the Addams voice.

Enid feels the urge to tell her, every secret, every mistake, every stupid thing she spent her teenage years crying over. Like her parents.

She doesn’t mention any of that. “Is this really the time to ask?”

 “I can’t dismiss my curiosity.”

There’s no more pain, the shifting has stopped and soon it’ll reverse, hopefully. Enid nuzzles closer, enjoying the coolness of Wednesday’s body, she soothes the fire, Enid hides herself, feeling the world threatening to slip away behind heavy eyelids.

 “I’ll tell you later, partner.”

Wednesday’s hand is cool against Enid’s back, she’s speaking, Enid doesn’t hear her, she falls asleep to the cold.