All the Way
Faith hadn’t realized it was Halloween until she walked into the Magic Box that day. Her invitation to their Slayer ‘meetings’ still held, though she typically didn't get a warm reception. Buffy, despite being the one who invited her, was still pretty cold to her. Willow and Xander barely spoke to her, and Xander’s girlfriend Anya seemed to hold a grudge against her purely out of loyalty to Xander. Only Giles and Tara were anything more than vaguely polite to her. Tara, of course, could only be as kind to Faith as her relationship with Willow would allow, but Giles seemed to be making good on his promise to amend his mistakes, and tried his best to make Faith feel included.
Honestly, Faith would have preferred it if Giles were as apparently indifferent as the rest of the group. She hated being treated so carefully. But it did make her think more about Giles’ offer. Here, she was an outsider. She would never be a part of their little group. She never had been before, so why should that change now?
But in Cleveland, she was alone. And though Faith was used to being alone, it was nice to think that maybe she didn’t have to be.
At least she had Halloween for a distraction. Giles had always said Halloween was the one day a year that vampires, demons, and all the other terrible little creatures laid low. Something about them thinking it was crass. Faith didn’t particularly care. She was looking forward to getting this meeting over with so she could go enjoy her night of careless drinking, dancing, and if she was lucky, maybe a roll in the hay, too.
Unfortunately, walking into the Magic Box, it didn’t particularly look like this was a standard Slayer meeting. Anya had called her and told her it was an emergency. As she surveyed the packed store, Faith cursed herself for not asking what kind of emergency.
The whole rest of the gang was there. Anya was dressed as a Charlie’s angel, skating around the store and helping every customer she could along the way. Xander, dressed like a pirate, was behind the counter with a very agitated-looking Giles draped in a Party City wizard’s cloak. Willow, dressed like nothing in particular, was in the corner cooing over a chubby toddler dressed like a cartoon witch, and Tara was doing something to the vast amount of books housed not-so-safely in the store’s loft.
Buffy was already deep in the throng of customers, but Faith walked in just in time to catch Dawn standing, who was standing beside the door, swiping a coin off a nearby table.
“Stealing, little B?” Faith remarked with mock disappointment. Dawn jumped, like she hadn’t expected to get caught, and looked up at Faith. Surprise, relief, and anger flashed across her face in rapid succession.
“What are you doing here?” she demanded with a scowl that didn’t quite reach her eyes.
Faith shrugged. “Xander’s girl called me. Said it was an emergency. Thought she meant a slaying emergency, but I guess I was wrong.”
Dawn glanced around the room, then looked over at Faith. “So, are you gonna stay and help?”
Faith briefly looked over the crowd in the shop, all dressed in costume, all rowdy and clustered around Buffy’s friends, and looked back at Dawn.
“Tell you what. You don’t tell anyone I was here, and I don’t tell B about your klepto habit. Deal?”
Dawn eyed Buffy, who was heading reluctantly to the basement with a box in her arms. “Deal.”
But just as Faith turned to leave, she heard a voice cry “Oh, good, you’re here!” She turned just in time to be grabbed by the roller-skating Anya and dragged to the counter. “Giles needs help with bagging.” she very earnestly and firmly informed Faith.
“Okay?”
Anya put her hands on her hips, giving Faith a very stern look. “So, help him! He sent Xander away, but he can’t bag alone because he’s too old.”
“I’m not too old.” Giles protested, though there was a note of weariness in his voice, as if he knew it was futile. “There are just too many people, and I would like some help. Preferably from someone who does not have a hook for a hand.”
“Tara doesn’t need help with the books?”
“No.” Anya replied. “Help Giles bag, please.”
Faith, who felt uneasy enough around Anya not to argue with her, reluctantly gave in and got behind the counter with Giles. At least bagging didn’t mean a whole lot of customer interactions, although she thought she’d rather be in her motel room, even if it was infested with one singular and determined kitten.
She had tried to bring the kitten to the animal shelter, but the girl had insisted that they were full. “Some guy found a bunch of kittens in some abandoned house on the edge of town.” she’d said. “We’re at capacity.”
Faith had tried shooing the cat, but it turned up on her doorstep every morning. She’d given it to Tara and Willow as an attempted peace offering, something which seemed to mollify Willow a little bit until the kitten ran across town that night and ended up right back at Faith’s doorstep.
The past few nights, Faith hadn’t even bothered to put the cat out. She didn’t go out of her way to feed it, but gave it scraps of her food. Apparently the cat was a survivor, though, because it was gaining weight every day. Faith suspected it was slipping out of the room at night and eating whatever poor, miserable birds were roaming around in the motel parking lot.
Buffy walked up to the counter, pulling Faith out of her cat-related reverie.
“What happened to Xander?” she asked, with a furtive and distrusting look towards Faith.
“He kept poking me with his hook.” Giles scowled. Faith tried to hide her smirk.
“I sent him to Charmed Objects.” Giles continued. “With luck, he’ll poke the wrong one and end up in an alternate dimension with a 50-foot Giles that squishes annoying, tiny pirates. Now, would you mind going and helping Anya? Even on roller skates, the customers are overwhelming her.” Giles shook his head, like he was disappointed in the strangers buying magic crap from his shop. Buffy stared at him.
“We have a lot of work to do here.” Giles gestured to the store.
“Actually, Spike had a really good idea,” said Buffy. Faith glanced up from the creepy doll she was bagging. “You know, maybe I should patrol.”
“Buffy, you and Faith have been patrolling every night this week. Besides, it’s Halloween, the one time a year supernatural threats give it a well-deserved rest. As should you.”
“Yeah, c’mon, B. Take a breather.”
Buffy shot Faith a glare that had no real heat in it. “What about costumes that take over your personality? Or wee, little Irish fear demon-y thingies?”
“Yes, well, if anything calamitous happens, history suggests it will happen to one of us.”
“Right. Exactly. So I should patrol to avoid any of that.” Giles fixed her with a look, and Buffy sighed. “All right, I’m going, I’m going.”
“Don’t remember her being so gung-ho over fighting and killing.” Faith remarked after Buffy was gone.
“She’s a very determined girl. When she puts her mind to it, that is.”
“That anger I hear in your voice, G?”
“No, no. Not anger. I just wish she would put that kind of determination towards something other than slaying.”
“Never thought I’d see the day you said that.”
Giles smiled, but it was a worried smile. Then he said, “Have you given any more thought to what I asked?”
Faith looked around the shop. She couldn’t imagine staying here for much longer, especially if things stayed the way that they were with everyone. Without Giles, Tara would be the only friendly face in the bunch. And Dawn, maybe, but she wasn’t usually allowed to join their meetings.
Still, England was a lot of responsibility. And Faith wasn’t sure she was up to it. She had changed and grown a lot, true, but she wasn’t the responsible Slayer. She wasn’t the good Slayer. That was how it had always been, and it was how it was always gonna be.
“I’m still not sure.” Faith mumbled into the bag. Giles just nodded sympathetically.
“You know, you’re quite good at this.” he remarked after a moment.
“What, you didn’t expect I’d be a decent bagger? C’mon, G, it’s me. Crap jobs are just about the only thing I am good at.”
A crinkle formed in Giles’s brow. “Faith-”
“Relax, G, I’m just jokin’. Back in Cleveland--that’s where I was this summer--I worked at a gas station. Wasn’t exactly the height of luxury, but I made decent money.”
“You have experience in customer service?” Giles looked surprised. Faith chose not to take that as an insult.
“What is this, an interview?”
Giles shook his head and looked at her as if he were seeing her for the first time. There was something like awe in his expression. “You know, you really have changed.”
Faith tried very hard not to blush, muttered something in response that she immediately forgot, and neither of them said anything else to each other for the rest of the day.
…
The store finally closed. Dawn waved the last people out of the store with a strained “Come again,”. Anya stood behind the cash register, practically glowing with joy. Tara and Willow were both sitting on furniture, while everyone else plopped down on the floor. Faith took a seat on the stairs, in between Tara and a prostrate Xander. Neither Faith nor Xander was very comfortable with this, and Faith could have sworn Willow shot her a couple of wary glances, as if she thought that Tara was going to be murdered just from sitting next to her.
Anya started talking about what an incredible experience the day was. Xander lifted his head, looking slightly affronted. “What you all did for me tonight,” Anya continued after soothing Xander’s ego, “The astounding heaps of money you helped me--us--acquire. All I can say is, I hope we make as much tomorrow!”
Buffy’s eyes widened, and she looked up at Anya in horror. “Tomorrow?”
“Oh, post-holiday clearance. The cornerstone of retail.” Everyone else whimpered and groaned at that, but Faith looked over at Anya.
“You want all of us back here tomorrow?” she asked warily. Anya looked at her with a frank expression.
“Well, you helped, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but-”
“Oh, I know. You’re afraid I don’t like you because of the whole trying to kill everybody thing, and the whole sleeping with Xander thing.” Faith had actually forgotten about that one. Beside her, Xander flushed. “And I was mad about you sleeping with Xander, but you did help me today. Besides, Xander won’t even speak to you, so I don’t think you’re going to get him anytime soon.” She gave Faith a triumphant little smile, as if Faith were really gunning for her loser boyfriend.
“Right. Well, I don’t really want to sleep with Xander again, anyways.”
The smile dropped from Anya’s face. “Why not?” she demanded. Xander, too, looked a little insulted. Everyone else was looking at Faith like she had just declared she had three heads.
Faith sighed, shifting uncomfortably. “Look, I don’t think we have to talk about this anymore.”
“I agree.” Xander chimed in. “Besides, Faith’s right. It’s definitely not going to happen again.” He gave Faith a look that suggested this was because he didn’t want to sleep with her, not the other way around. Faith didn’t particularly care, but she was starting to get exhausted by trying to tiptoe around everyone’s egos. “I mean, c’mon. I’ve been dating Anya for what, two years?”
“Three years and seventeen days.” Anya corrected. Xander nodded.
“Exactly. So you see? That’s the longest I’ve ever gone out with a girl. Why would I ruin that for,” he gave Faith a look of disgust that finished the sentence for him. “Especially when we’re about to-” Dead stop. He looked around, eyes wide.
“About to what?” Willow asked. Xander looked at her like a deer in headlights. A moment later, he relented.
“About to get married,” he admitted reluctantly. Anya, seemingly not picking up on how grim Xander looked, erupted joyfully.
“Oh my god,” said Dawn, who had been standing next to Anya for most of the conversation. She was smiling. Xander was smiling, too, although it was a weak and weary smile that didn’t speak volumes towards his happiness.
“Congratulations!” cried Tara.
“Thats…wow,” said Willow. She looked more surprised than happy, and Buffy looked like she had just gotten news that Xander only had three months to live.
Xander got to his feet and walked over to Anya. They said some things to each other in low voices--Faith could have listened in if she wanted to, but she didn’t particularly care to hear any of it--then started kissing passionately. Meanwhile, Faith heard Buffy say to Giles in a low voice, “Did you know about this?”
“No.” replied Giles. “Unless I blocked it from my memory. Much as I will Xander’s vigorous use of his tongue.” As he took off his glasses to clean them--a classic Giles maneuver--Faith suddenly realized that this had turned into a group celebration. And she wasn’t really a part of the group. She shouldn’t be here, especially after the display that had just been put on. Quietly, she got up and walked out of the Magic Box.
...
The Bronze wasn’t too far, although it was packed. Faith could swear there were bars on the nearby college campus, but for some reason they thought this was cooler.
After one beer and a couple of dances, Faith decided that the Bronze wasn’t for her tonight. There were too many people, and she wasn’t used to such big crowds. Sure, there were people at the Bronze on other nights, but not nearly as many. She could dance on the floor without feeling crowded, without feeling the warmth and sweat of everyone around her, without feeling like she couldn’t breathe and the room was spinning. Plus, the whole building was decorated for Halloween, which annoyed her.
So she started heading back to the motel. To do what, she didn’t know. The cat was still there. Maybe she ought to pick up some food for it.
But apparently she had the worst luck in the world, because on her way back to the motel to have a quiet and miserable night alone, she ended up getting caught in a crowd on the street. It took her a minute to realize everyone was clustered around an ambulance. There had been some kind of accident. Faith saw a young, blonde--Faith’s stomach dropped for a second seeing that, though she couldn’t say why--girl with a chunk torn out of her neck. Vampire. Well, it looked like Faith had something to do on Halloween night after all.
She turned to leave, and ran straight into another person in the crowd.
“For fuck’s sake, watch where you’re--" she stopped, "Buffy.”
Buffy, having evidently been lured in by the same crowd, arched a brow at Faith. “What are you doing here?”
“Same thing as you, I guess.” answered the uncomfortable Faith.
The other Slayer peered past Faith’s shoulder towards the girl being loaded into the ambulance. Faith watched Buffy’s face go through many different cycles of emotions as she tried to decide what to do. Finally, she said, “We should split up. Check different cemeteries.”
“Why?” It wasn’t that Faith particularly wanted to patrol with Buffy. But she couldn’t stop herself from asking. Why couldn’t they patrol together? What was the point of having two Slayers if they couldn’t work together?
Buffy gave Faith a stern look. “You know why.”
“Jeez, B, I’ve apologized for that, haven’t I?”
Buffy clenched her jaw, giving Faith a look that she knew well. “It’s not a good idea for us to be around each other, Faith.”
“Why?” Faith repeated.
“Because every time we’re around each other, something bad happens.”
“Yeah, well, I’m trying not to repeat those mistakes, and I think maybe you should give me a chance!”
She didn't care. She didn't care if she wasn't a part of Buffy's life. She didn't want that. Why was she even asking for a chance?
“Where is this coming from?”
Faith really had no idea. “Look, just, where were you gonna patrol?”
Buffy straightened. “I was going to Sunnydale Cemetery to see Spike.”
“Spike?”
“Yes.” Buffy replied defensively. “He asked if I wanted to go patrolling with him.”
“So you’ll go patrolling with Spike and not me? What, the evil vampire hasn’t tried to kill you before?”
“It’s… it’s different.” Buffy faltered. Faith suddenly recalled what Buffy had said the night of the demon poker game.
“He’s the only one you can stand to be around, right?”
Buffy’s silence was enough of an answer.
“Do you love him?”
“No.” Buffy’s response was immediate, and she looked at Faith with big, regretful eyes. “I hate him. But I also don’t hate him, and I hate myself for not hating him, and I hate myself for not hating you.”
“So the only one you really hate is yourself, huh?”
Buffy looked at Faith, then looked away.
“Yeah.” said Faith, “I know the feeling.”
…
Buffy and Faith walked to Spike’s crypt in silence. But it was a silence that was almost comfortable. After all Faith had done, she’d never thought she would get anywhere close to ‘comfortable’ with Buffy again.
“Spike?” Buffy called as soon as they had entered the big, dusty crypt. It was dark, with sparse furniture save for a chair seated in front of a small TV.
“Spike, c’mon. Get your gear together.”
“Don’t think he’s here, B. Maybe he went out for a little snack.”
“You know,” said Spike, suddenly emerging from the shadows as vampires were wont to do, “In civilized cultures, this is called trespassing.”
Faith and Buffy turned to face him. He smirked.
“Two Slayers? To what do I owe the honor?”
“We’ve got trouble.” Buffy told him.
“Giles found you?” Spike asked calmly. Faith and Buffy both exchanged confused looks.
“Giles?” Buffy repeated. “No. Was he looking for me?”
Spike shrugged. “Something about Dawn.” he said, trying and failing to look uninterested. Buffy either didn’t notice or didn’t care.
“Dawn? What happened?”
“Little bit and her friend pulled a Houdini.” Spike’s face was serious, his tone was gentle. But Faith noticed there was a hint of triumph in his eyes.
“She’s out there, running around, by herself?” Buffy demanded, sounding torn between worry and annoyance.
“Yeah, kids these days, eh?” Spike replied, again trying to act unconcerned. But his next words, “I did a sweep of the tunnels. Giles is pokin’ about the cemetery,'' proved that he did, in fact, care that Dawn was missing. Much to her dismay, Faith found that she cared, too.
Buffy went straight for a door in the crypt and opened it, then turned to address Spike and Faith. “We have to find her.”
“Sure, but I don’t think she’s in there,” said Faith. Buffy made a face, then tossed a crossbow to Spike and a stake to Faith.
“Why does he get the crossbow?” Faith complained.
“Don’t know if you noticed,” said Spike as the three of them left the crypt, “Vampire? We don’t typically like having those," he gestured to Faith's stake "on us.”
Faith scoffed. “Whatever.”
Buffy glared at both of them. “Shut up, you two. You can argue all you want after we’ve found Dawn.”
They lapsed into silence again after that, though it was a less comfortable one than before Spike had joined their band. Spike kept casting Buffy curious, longing glances. Buffy either didn’t notice or was ignoring it. Her jaw was set, and there was a determined look in her eyes. Whatever Spike was looking for wasn’t there right now.
Usually Faith was at least entertained by Buffy and Spike’s dynamic, but there was something quieter and more urgent in it tonight. Maybe it was because Dawn was missing. Maybe it was because of the flash of worry Faith could see periodically in Spike’s expression. But she felt like she was intruding, and that wasn’t really a feeling she enjoyed.
“I’m gonna go catch up with Giles.” she finally said. Spike quirked an eyebrow, but didn’t respond. Buffy gave a curt nod by way of an answer, and Faith ran ahead, grateful that the silence outside of Buffy and Spike was less tense. The graveyards of Sunnydale weren’t usually so peaceful at night. Faith wasn’t typically a peace and quiet gal, but she liked the gentle tranquility tonight.
But in typical Sunnydale fashion, the silence didn’t last long. A sharp, girlish shriek pierced through the air and had Faith sprinting through the graveyard until she found the girl being pinned against a tree by a vampire.
Faith didn’t really understand the fear she was feeling as she ripped the vampire off the girl. God, there was a lot of blood. And she wasn’t squeamish, not by a long shot, but it chilled her a little bit to see. She staked the vampire with a ferocity uncharacteristic even for her, and turned to the girl. It wasn’t Dawn.
“Dawn?” Giles burst through the trees.
“Not Dawn.” said Faith grimly.
Giles turned to the pretty, red-headed teenage girl standing in what could have been Dawn's place. She was clutching her neck, staring at the spot where Faith had dusted the vamp. “He bit me.” she said faintly. Blood was pouring out onto her hand, but it didn’t bother Faith as much now that she knew it wasn't anyone she knew bleeding.
“Dawn, where’s Dawn?” Giles asked the girl urgently. Even Faith thought he was being a bit unsympathetic, not realizing this was Dawn’s friend, or the implication of where Dawn could be if her friend was being devoured by a vampire.
The girl made a breathless, vague gesture of ignorance. “I… I don’t know what happened.” she stammered. “Dawn and Justin left, I think Justin said something about parking… and Zach…”
“Parking? Parking where?” Giles demanded.
“Jeez, G, take it easy.” Faith realized that Dawn was probably parking with a vamp, and knew she was in danger. Every nerve of her body was singing that there was danger. Her fingers were itching with the urge to put a stake in something. But this girl was upset, and bleeding, and it made Faith uneasy to see Giles ignore that. He was supposed to be the level-headed one.
“Look, I’ve never been a moony-eyed teenage girl, and parking isn’t really my thing, but I know where the kids used to do it when I was here, and I’m willing to bet they haven’t changed the spot. So how ‘bout I go find her, and you make sure this girl doesn’t bleed out in the middle of a freakin' cemetery, okay?”
“Right." Giles faltered. "Right, of course.” He still looked worried, but he took the girl gently by the arm. “Come on, Janice. Let’s get you to the hospital.”
Janice muttered something about her mother being furious, Giles nodded absently, and the two of them left the cemetery. Meanwhile Faith, through a combination of deduction and luck, managed to find the place where Dawn and her little vampire boyfriend had parked. She knew it because, as she emerged through the trees, she could hear a voice saying “It’ll only hurt for a second,” through a mouthful of fangs. Who said Sunnydale had changed?
“You really falling for this shit, little B?” Faith asked as she broke into the clearing. Dawn was facing away from her, but when she whipped around, big blue eyes wide and accusing, Faith almost flinched. It was easy to forget that she was related to Buffy, right up until she made a face like that.
“Faith!” Dawn cried, sounding like a child whose parent had embarrassed her. But was quickly cut off when the vampire behind her grabbed her by the throat and pulled her against him. Faith, who was already ready and raring for a fight, heard the surprised choking sound that came out of Dawn when he grabbed her, and knew she was really going to enjoy killing this guy.
“You wanna go one on one, buster?” Faith grinned at him. “Cuz I don’t really see that goin’ your way.”
He grinned back. “Good thing I have help, then.”
The dark clearing lit up as several sets of car headlights blinked on. Vampire couples poured into the clearing. Faith eyed the growing mob of vampires hesitantly. She was always ready for a fight, and this was more action than she’d gotten since the night Buffy had come back from the dead. But she was alone, and what if he hurt Dawn while she was fighting other vampires? Or waited until she was distracted and took her away?
One of the vampires lunged for her, and Faith realized she didn’t have a choice. She dodged, and staked it through the back. Lucky for her, these vampires weren’t very experienced.
As she fought, Buffy and Spike burst onto the scene. Faith was too busy trying to keep from getting bitten to listen to Buffy and Dawn’s bickering, though she did hear Buffy’s protest of “that was different!” and Dawn’s derisive, disappointed, “It always is when it’s you.” The kid was smarter than she’d realized.
“Hey, B?” Faith called. “I know she’s your sister and all, but can we save the family bickering for after the vamps are dust?”
Buffy looked at Spike. He shrugged, and both of them charged into the fray. With Faith alone, the vampires had already been screwed. She was a little overwhelmed by their numbers, but even so, she wasn’t in any real danger. None of these vampires could touch her. And if they couldn’t touch her, God knows they couldn’t even get near Buffy.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t a game of skill as much as speed, and a group of vampires was a great stalling tactic for Dawn's little boyfriend. Faith saw that he had released Dawn, but he was advancing towards her, talking in a low voice. His vampire face was still on. What was it with the Summers girls and vampires?
Dawn drove her knee into his groin. Never mind, then. Faith smiled, shoved her stake up through her own vampire’s rib cage and into its heart, and the battle raged on.
Faith finished all her vampires before Spike and Buffy. Buffy was brawling with a vampire over a car, and he had her pinned to him using the car antenna. Clever fucker. Spike was fighting a solid, burly vampire against a tree. Faith's first instinct was to help one of them. But then she realized that Dawn was no longer in the clearing, and went still.
She shouldn’t be worried about her. She had no right. But if Dawn was in danger... she did need to save her. Not just because it was Dawn, but because it was a kid in danger, and she was the Slayer. It was what she did. Which meant she needed to focus, and figure out where the hell Dawn went.
Faith had found that, in prison, her Slayer senses were as important an ability as her strength. And now she realized that was true for fighting outside of prison, too. She blocked out the sounds of Spike and Buffy fighting. She pushed past the sounds of the forest and the cemetery. And she heard a distinct, plaintive little voice saying, “I thought you really liked me.”
Faith tore through the woods as fast as she could. She didn’t make it fast enough to kill him, though. By the time she reached Dawn, the girl was sitting on the ground alone, with a stunned expression, a pile of dust in front of her, and a small wooden pencil in her hand.
“Dawn,” Faith gasped, hating how relieved she felt to see the small, miserable figure sitting on the ground. You have no right to care, she reminded herself.
Dawn turned and looked at Faith slowly. “I killed him.”
“Yeah. Good for you, little D.”
“Little D?”
Faith gave her a more sympathetic version of her usual grin. “Trust me, kid. You proved yourself tonight.”
Dawn brightened a little bit at that, but the look quickly faded, and she said mournfully, “I really thought he liked me.”
Faith was suddenly, forcefully reminded of a night three years ago, when she had sat sadly in her apartment and said that same thing about Buffy to no one in particular. She remembered the pain, and the rage, and how overwhelming it was, and how even so it still wasn’t enough to cover her sadness. Because she was always alone, no matter what. No matter how hard she tried.
When she looked at Dawn’s face right then, she didn’t see Buffy. She thought that Dawn had never looked so different from Buffy as she did in that moment. Because she saw the same miserable, lonely, desperate soul that she had been--and maybe still was--looking out from Dawn’s big, pleading Summers eyes.
“That piece of shit wasn’t good enough to like you.” Faith told her, and meant it. “But don’t worry, kid. You’ve still got the Scooby gang, and Buffy, and Giles. And me.”
Dawn didn’t say anything, but looked up at Faith with a pitifully hopeful expression as Faith offered her hand. “C’mon, little D. We’ve got work to do.”