The nightmares weren’t unusual. Hell, Wade would be surprised if men like them didn’t dream of the terrors they’ve been through every once in a while. Tonight is different though. Logan is usually a thrasher, with claws unleashing and a pained roar ripping through his throat as he snaps awake, ready to fight and scream until those screams turn into growling sobs, which turns into Wade being snarled at to get the fuck out, which he promptly does.
Wade never says anything, The Mouth not having a lighthearted quip in his bag of tricks for the fucked up-ness of it all. Eventually, Logan would tire himself out from emotional and physical exhaustion and collapse on the floor. That was Logan’s thing: Wake, rage, break, drop. But that wasn’t tonight. Tonight is different. Wade is awake in the darkness, senses on high alert after being jolted into consciousness by a swift kick to the thigh.
Logan was moving around, usually a sign for worse times to come, so Wade braces for it. But there Logan stays beside him, silent and still except for the odd twitch. His nose does a bunny scrunch, eyes still sealed all the way shut. Wade watches on, too on edge to move even an inch, which sucks for him since he’s needed to scratch an itch on his back for the past twenty minutes. Logan makes a faint noise in the back of his throat, the usual growling tone to it not there, replaced by a weak and scared one. Like a puppy getting kicked. It made something awful twist in Wade’s tummy.
A few more broken whimpers and whines poured out of Logan’s barely opened lips, his eyelids twisting shut as he began to shake. Wade briefly contemplated waking the man up, consequences of some wolverine claw digging into his flesh be damned because the sight of a terrified, cowering Logan is so much worse than the animalistic beast rage. Sure, there was plenty of sadness to be found in his confused feral states, sadness that caused Wade to ache. But this was entirely new ground when it came to Logan—a different side to Logan that he’s never seen before. And it was very innocent and petrified, hurting in a way that just made Wade desperate to fix everything, to scoop Logan up and shield him from the world. The wrinkle between Logan’s eyebrows deepens as he lets out a shaking sob.
Then Wade sees those hazel eyes. They’re clouded with tears, the fattest ones immediately spilling out as he jolts up. He cries and cries, as if he’s all alone in the world, in the universe, shaking like he’s about to crumble apart. Wade whines in a panic, his heart breaking as his hands fly out to Logan, immediately trying to soothe. He knows that talking to Logan after a nightmare hasn’t worked before, but he can’t help it, his mouth running like his life depends on it.
“Logan, Logan, hey,” Wade says all in one breath, Logan hyperventilating as Wade rubs his shoulders, “it was just a bad dream, peanut. You’re okay. You’re alright.”
But Logan isn’t alright, he clearly isn’t. His breathing sounds so shallow and weak and he buries his face into his shaking hands, mumbling something Wade can’t make out. He looks so impossibly small, shrinking into himself more and more. The tears just keep flowing and with it the pit inside Wade widens. He does as his instincts scream at him to do, pulling the limp weeping Logan into his arms and he begins to rock back and forth.
“Shhh, Logan, baby.” he attempts again, voice soft in Logan’s ear as he rubs his back, “You need to calm down, sweetheart. Take some deep breaths with me, okay?”
Wade cups Logan’s wet cheek, gentle as he guides the man’s gaze into his own. He sees greens and golds glimmering in fear. Fuck. So then he begins to demonstrate, inhaling deeply and exhaling even longer. In and out. In and out. Logan begins to do the same on the third cycle, at first hiccuping and shuddering through it. Eventually though, his breathing is back to semi-normal, with Wade still rubbing his back slowly, now drawing shapes into the skin. He wonders in the back of his mind if Logan can tell that it’s supposed to be a heart.
“There we go, there he is,” Wade says, wiping a stray tear from Logan’s cheek. He gives him a tiny smile, “you’re okay, see? Logan’s okay.”
Logan sniffles. He might be over two hundred years old and a talented killer, but right now all Wade can see is a little fragile thing that desperately needs comfort. A shelter puppy that needs to feel safe. Logan has never gotten to feel safe in his entire existence. Every brief taste of it he could get was met with tragedy and suffering. Logan’s life has been nothing but survival and pain. Wade squeezes him in his arms, making a promise to them both.
“I’ll keep you safe, sweetheart.”
Logan lets out a shaky exhale, then inhales deeply. Just like Wade taught him moments ago. A flicker of pride swells in his chest, “Good job, peanut! That’s right, keep up with the deep breathing. You’re okay. You’re safe.”
Without really thinking, Wade gives Logan’s cheek a quick and gentle peck. For a moment he thinks maybe he’s ruined this, that he’s going to make Logan upset or grossed out or — the worst scenario — even more scared. But then Logan’s nose does a little bunny twitch and despite everything, Wade swears he hears the faintest laugh. It’s more like another breath really, but Wade detects it, acknowledges it, holds it dear to his heart and cherishes it. Logan’s laughs are so rare, and he just made him do it after a nightmare. He might cry out of relief. Out of joy.
“Yeah? You liked that?” He coos, heart swelling as Logan’s eyes go big. This time not in fear but in awe. It makes him grin like a fool, “You want another?”
Logan hesitates, looking away to nod. Wade giggles, giving the exposed cheek a loud, sweet kiss. Then another. And another. The skin flushes pink and Wade just can’t help himself, blowing a raspberry onto it and causing a giggly squeal to come out of Logan’s mouth as he bats the bald head away. Wade pulls him down into the bed, into his arms, positioning him so he can rub his back again with Logan practically sprawled onto him. He’s a bit astonished that Logan’s just letting him shift him however he wants, but he can’t complain. Not when those pretty hazel eyes are looking at him in gratitude. They lay there in the calm quiet. Logan yawns, tongue rolling all the way out as his long eyelashes flutter and it takes everything within Wade not to gush about his roommate turned adorable little puppy.
“You wanna try to sleep again, sweetheart? I’ll hold you.” Wade says, giving him a reassuring squeeze. Logan hums, eyes fluttering shut.
“All night?” Logan asks.
Wade rakes his fingers through soft brown locks, twirling the cowlicks and causing Logan to sigh in contentment. His heart feels like it’s glowing. Wade feels wanted, needed, and he’s not going to squander the opportunity.
“All night.”
Logan probably won’t act like this come morning, but Wade hopes that he can convey to him that it’s okay to need this. To need to feel safe and to be taken care of. And that Wade can provide both of those things. Maybe they should talk about it. Not tonight, but sometime. Wade files that away in his important folder.
“Night-night, Wade.” Logan mumbles against Wade, already slipping away.
Wade kisses his forehead, “Night-night, little peanut.”