Will We Ever Trust Again?
After the kitchen was cleaned, and all evidence of their breakfast was gone, Steve grabbed his computer from his room and moved to the couch. He had not been completely lying when he told Bucky that he had things to do. Apparently rescuing your best friend from a 70 years ago who was brainwashed into becoming a wanted criminal, requires a lot of paperwork. Originally, Steve was planing on finding one of the office rooms that they have used for Avengers meetings in the past to work in, but he did not want to leave Bucky alone after what happened.
The apartment was silent for the few hours that Steve worked, if it were not for some invisible thread that seemed to tie Steve to Bucky, he would have forgotten that the other was still there. When Bucky finally emerged from his room, he seemed to be back to his old self. Steve debated bringing up what happened before, but he was worried that he would set Buck off, or give him the impression that he was blaming Bucky for anything. He didn't have the chance to decide, because the look of confusion on Bucky's face when he realized that Steve was on the couch drew all his attention.
"You are still here?"
"Oh, yeah. I decided to just do some work here... that okay?"
"Why wouldn't that be okay?"
"I don't know, just, whatever. You hungry?".
Steve stood up from the couch and head back to the kitchen, it had only been a few hours since breakfast, but Steve didn't end up eating much, and with his increased metabolism, he knew that he should eat something. He didn't know all the ways that the serum that Bucky had got effected him, but he figured it was safe to assume that he also required more nutrients. Bucky was still looking at him confused, but followed Steve into the Kitchen.
"No, I'm not hungry"
"You sure, I don't mind making you something"
"No, Steve. Im fine.
"I don't have to cook anything if that's what you're worried about. There is plenty-"
"STEVE, I said I was fine."
Steve stopped opening the cabinets and turned to Bucky, who was glaring at him with a flushed face. "Okay. Sorry", he sheepishly replied, forgoing looking for food and came to the counter that Bucky was sitting at. Bucky was still glaring at him, but the intensity of his stare was starting to pull back. The two stayed like that for a few minutes, just staring at each other, until a knock interrupted them.
"Jarvis, who is at the door?". Steve asked the AI.
"Mr. Stark is at the door Captain". That caused a flash of fear on Bucky's face, before it hardened into expressionlessness. Steve wanted to ask Bucky if he had wanted him to tell Stark to leave, but the faintest shake of Bucky's head answered the question he did not ask.
Tony Stark was standing in the doorway dressed in a pressed suit, he was clearly either on his way to a meeting, or had just come back from one. The tiredness in his eyes told Steve that it was probably the later. Stark, in true Stark fashion, pushed into the apartment before Steve said anything. He had wanted to make a comment on this, but Tony owned the building, he could kind of do whatever he wanted, which he usually does.
"Okay Ice Twins, I am going to keep this short because I don't want to be here any longer than I have too", that was something both Steve and Bucky agreed with.
"I have spoken with Sam, he said you were willing to go to therapy, is that right?", Stark looked in the general direction of Bucky, but not at him, while Bucky kept his gaze neutral, but on Steve.
"That is correct", Bucky's monotoned voice answered.
"Great, so Dr. Sanders will be here at 11:00 am tomorrow in conference room 5. I am sure Steve can show you were that is". Tony had paused to look to Steve, who nodded his head in agreement.
"Together, you two can make a plan for how often and when you will meet. My team has checked this doctor out, so you should not need to worry about confidentiality. My lawyers and I have been in communication with the government since Steve first went after you. I figure there would be a ton of legal shit to work through, and Cap here wouldn't think about any of it, so I did. As for right now, we can avoid trials and constant check ups from the government, as long as you remain living here in the tower. I am sure after therapy and specific psychological evaluations, we can eventually come to an agreement that grants you full rights. Just, for now, try and keep a low profile and try not to leave the tower by yourself".
"Tony, are you telling me that Bucky is to be locked in this tower with constant supervision?"
"No, Cap, I am telling you that you smuggled a wanted criminal over state lines, and if it hadn't been for my intervention, he would be sitting in a padded cell instead of being your roommate".
"Tony he is not a criminal, he is not to blame for what happened"
"I did not say he was at fault, I am saying that not everyone is convinced that he is not a danger. So I am asking him to prove it. He can do that by going to therapy, by not bringing attention to himself, and yes, having someone with him whenever he leaves that tower would be helpful"
Steve wanted to protest some more, but the movement of Bucky standing up caught his attention. His face was still expressionless and his movements were stiff as he walked over to where Steve and Tony were standing. Bucky stepped in between the two, facing Tony, and stuck his hand out. Steve looked on, puzzled, and the two shook hands. After they both let go, Bucky walked away, sitting back down at the counter.
"Well, that is that I guess. See you old timers at dinner", Tony called as he left the apartment.
Steve looked back toward Bucky, "you are really okay with this?", Bucky sighed, "Steve, not everything has to be a fight. Besides, Stark has a point. I have hurt people, and if they want me to prove that I am no longer dangerous, I will. Steve, let me prove that to them, left me prove that to you". Bucky's voice had gotten smaller and smaller as he spoke.
"Buck, you don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially not me"
"You say that, but can you honestly look at everything I have done. After what happened this morning, and tell me there is no part of you that isn't afraid of me?"
Steve moved to stand over Bucky as he sat at the counter, "Bucky, I have never, and will never, be afraid of you".
"What about on the Helicarrier?"
"What?"
"Steve, I almost beat you to death, and you are telling me that you were not afraid of me?"
"No, Buck. I was not afraid of you?"
"What, you had some kind of death wish then? Cause I was about to kill you, and the only way you wouldn't have been afraid would be because you wanted to die".
Steve answered, but just a tad too late to be as convincing as he wanted to be, "No Bucky, I didn't want to die. But I also was not afraid of you".
"Steve...", Bucky started some question, but must have thought better of it as he trailed off. So Steve kept talking.
"Bucky I trust you, I always have. You have been through hell and back, and yeah, I know that you are different because of that, but you are still you. I know that you might have moments where you forget who you are, or your fight or flight reflex may get triggered prematurely, but, I trust that you will come back. I will be here through everything, I will be whatever you need me to be. But I need you to know, that you do not need to prove yourself, not to me, because I already know who you are".
Bucky looked at him with an unreadable expression, but there was a hint of moister in his eyes. Steve hoped that meant Buck believed him, because he meant every word.