WITCHCRAFT 101
CHAPTER ONE.
WITCHCRAFT 101.
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C:\Users\WKaplan\Desktop\Witch101\Recordings\witch101_may_27.mp3
0:04:06 | 01:52:13
“-bothering with that thing.”
“I told you, I’m an auditory learner. The recordings help me remember stuff.”
“You kids these days with all your fancy tech. Whatever happened to just writings notes in the blood of your enemies, huh?”
“Can we move on from your scathing critique of my educational practises? You said we’d start looking today.”
“That was before I saw that pathetic excuse for a chalk circle you made yesterday.”
“Wh- Are you serious? So I got distracted, big deal!”
“Yeah, by your boy toy. And here I thought I told you to screen his calls during these lessons?”
“…There. See? Do not disturb. Now can we please start working on finding Tommy?”
“Patience, grasshopper. Draw your circle without blowing anything up and I’ll think about it.”
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00:38:19 | 01:52:13
“Hmm. Crooked. Do it again.”
“What?! It’s perfect! I measured it twice!”
“Look kid, I know you’re about as straight as a bendy straw but linework in a witch’s circle matters. Get it right or suffer the consequences. Do it again.”
“It’s chalk. What consequences am I gonna suffer exactly? A sneeze?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, were you not watching yesterday? You fumbled your wind line and took the door off its hinges.”
“…that was a wind line? I thought it was the earth line.”
“This is why you don’t learn witchcraft off the damn internet, Teen. Now, do it again and do it right this time.”
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01:48:59 | 01:52:13
“You know, I could get used to this whole mentor look you’ve got going on. It’s very Hot For Teacher.”
“I thought you opposed my teaching a…how did you put it? Aberration?”
“I’m not exactly a fan but when has that ever stopped you? Where is the little scarlet spawn?”
“Kaplan family movie night waits for no witch.”
“Hm. How domestic.”
“So you want to tell me what you’re doing here?”
“I haven’t seen you in a while. It’s not the same, working without an audience.”
“Oh honey, do you miss me?”
“Like a hole in the head.”
“So tell me about it.”
“About what?”
“What I missed. Go on, show me how the sausage gets made and all that jazz.”
“…you want me to tell you how my day was? I think the domesticity is wearing off on you, Agatha.”
“Maybe. Would that be so bad?”
“…one guy stabbed himself in the throat with his golf club.”
“Sounds like a real pain in the neck.”
"God, I hate ghosts."
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PRIVATE CHAT WITH: @holimoli_44
Updated: 05/28/2026 16:45:19 EST
See previous messages
holimoli_44: whats this I hear about u DROWNING
holimoli_44: and why am I am hearing about it from stoner dave????
tshep: It’s not a big deal
tshep: I’m fine
tshep: I think
holimoli_44: you are filling me with confidence rn
holimoli_44: explain urself shepherd
tshep: I’m still working it out
holimoli_44: was it that greg asshole from ur school? bc attempted murder is nxt level even for him and while the cops have been historically Useless™ it is technically their job to handle this sort of stuff no?
tshep: <is typing>
tshep: I’m not sure what happened. It’s hard to remember – one second, everything is dark and the next I’m coughing my guts up on the concrete. No one mentioned anyone called Greg, I don’t think.
holimoli_44: ….ok im ngl I didnt know u knew that many punctuation marks bud
holimoli_44: whats going on? did u hit ur head when u went under?
tshep: Maybe? It’s been a weird few days.
holimoli_44: weird how?
tshep: Weird like I don’t remember a lot of stuff.
holimoli_44: jfc this is like pulling teeth. Tommy, my guy, my pal, my cell block bosom buddy. Just say whatever it is. I s2g its not gonna be any weirder than the time you plucked my moustache for me when i came off my blockers last year in juvie
tshep: Wait, we were in juvie?
holimoli_44: <is typing>
holimoli_44: <is typing>
holimoli_44: <is video calling. Accept call?>
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UNKNOWN NUMBER
+555 3054-133if I catch you running your mouth about what
happened at the pool youre a dead manWho is this?
You know damn well.
Ah. You must be Greg.
Im serious. Keep your mouth shut
Or else
Or else what? You’ll drown me again?
Typing…
it was just a joke. Not my fault you couldnt
take it like a manJesus, you sound like an eighties
coming of age movie.the fuck is that supposed to mean?
It means stop messaging me.
Or else.