The breakfast table at Avengers Mansion was always a busy affair, with all manner of costumed crime fighters coming and going. But these days it was even moreso, as it seemed many of the heroes couldn’t even sit down at the table.
Though whether that was because of time restrictions or… other reasons was a point of contention for some.
Case in point, Spider-Man stood gingerly as he leaned over and snagged a piece of toast from a tray. Noticing that, Wonder Man couldn't help but smirk and give his bottom a friendly slap while he walked by.
"YOW!"
"Hey Spidey. Is it true Doc Oc got all four of his tentacles on ya recently?"
"Uh yeah." Spider-Man winced and rubbed his ass. "I can still feel it when I swing against the wind."
Wolverine chuckled a few seats down as he chugged a beer (over the Avenger's butler Jarvis's express disapproval). "It's what you get for lettin' your guard down 'round so many baddies."
"Oh yeah?" Spider-Man shot back, "Didn't Magneto hand the X-Men their collective butts just last week? Or am I misremembering that story?"
The hairy mutant spluttered and grimaced. "Th-that's just a rumor!"
"Is that so? So you wouldn’t be against calling up the X-Mansion to see if they'd corroborate that...?"
"That's enough you two," Captain America said, folding his newspaper at the head of the table. "We've ALL been dealing with unusually spank-happy villains lately. I myself tangled with Crossbones last week, and he almost succeeded in getting me over his knee."
"And I recently fought my old foe M'Baku," put in Black Panther, standing at the far edge of the room.
"Yeah? And how'd that go for you?" asked Wonder Man.
The Wakandan king faintly brushed his hands across the tight-fitting seat of his costume. "Let us just say... there is a reason I have chosen to remain standing this morning."
Ant-Man tried to hold in a laugh. "If I didn't know better, I'd say something's making the world's villain more interested in punishment than usual lately."
"Or someone," noted Beast as he spread jam on a waffle.
Captain America nodded solemnly. "We're looking into it. For now, we're advising all heroes to be on guard."
"Well don't look at me!" Sandman said when a few gazes turned to him. "I keep telling you guys, I'm not a villain anymore. I'm a full-fledged Avenger now just like the rest of you!"
"At least for the moment," Spider-Man muttered under his breath.
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean!"
"So you haven't heard anything from the guys you still pal around with, like Rhino or Grizzly?" cut in Ant-Man.
"Them? Naw, they've been keeping their noses clean. Thanks to me keeping 'em in line with my sand whips, anyway!"
The others nodded in acceptance of that. Sandman had given Rhino more than one public paddling by then, any time the big Russian threatened to backslide back to villainous ways.
"I still don't see what the big deal is," cut in Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. The inventor-hero was wearing his full armor even to breakfast, where he was sliding a piece of toast through the mouth slot. "So the villains are acting kinkier than usual. It's not as if spankings can be a real threat to any of us."
"With all due respect, Tony, you're only saying that because you weren't present when we battled the Handler," Captain America told him. "If you were, you'd know good discipline is a weakness for any man, hero or not."
The armored millionaire shook his head. "If you say so."
"Ah man, and I was finally getting used to sitting comfortably again," said Hawkeye. "Which baddie do you think will go spank-crazy next? Kang? Blastaar? Doctor Doom?"
Suddenly, alarms blared all over the mansion. Hawkeye blinked.
"Uhhh..."
"I'm synced in," said Iron Man as he got a readout on the inside of his helmet. "The mansion is under attack. By a horde of... Doombots?"
"Speak of the devil," Wolverine muttered, unsheathing his claws.
"Yes, the timing certainly is... interesting," Captain America noted. He kicked back his chair. "We’ll have to figure it out later. Avengers Assemble!" He lead the way as his team rushed out of the dining area, leaving a host of messy trays and dishes behind.
Jarvis sighed and began to clean up.
* * * * *
"Situation report, Tony," Captain America said as he clocked his fifth Doombot, then drew back his shield and sent it flying at another. It slammed into the Doombot in the lead of the horde, then ricocheted away and struck several more.
"There's a host of Doombots at nearly all entrances. There's also quite a few who've already made it inside."
"I can see that! How did they breach our defenses?"
"Unclear. It's possible they snuck in through the sewers or another back entrance. Or..."
"Or?"
"Knowing Doom, he may have infiltrated them in months ago and they're only just now making their move."
Captain America let out a breath through his teeth. "Yes, that's very likely."
"There's also something else, Steve."
"What's that?"
"They all seem to be armed with, er... paddles."
Captain America nodded. "Yes, I've noticed the same."
Even as he fought, he watched a barrage of arrows fired by Hawkeye strike some sort of energy barrier raised by the lead Doombot. It made the trick arrows reflect back upon the archer, and one enveloped him in a net of webbing and he fell to the floor. He could only squirm and curse as one Doombot approached, knelt down, and... pulled down Hawkeye’s pants to reveal a well-toned ass in a jockstrap.
"ALL WILL SERVE DOOM."
"Oh for chrissakes—NOT AGAIN!" Hawkeye cried out as he began to be spanked.
He was rescued by six adamantium claws emerging from the Doombot's chest. They sliced up and down, vivisecting the robot. Wolverine snorted as he stepped through the sparking remains and got a load of the bare-bottomed Avenger. "Didn’t I tell you fellas to keep your guard up?"
"Like you should talk—LOOK OUT!"
A wreathe of fire suddenly enveloped Wolverine. The smell of burnt hair was strong as he emerged out the other side of the flames, naked and smoking but otherwise unharmed due to his healing factor. But before he could get his bearings mechanical shackles flew and locked his arms tight behind his back.
"Oh, fer pete's—"
"Now who let his guard down?" Hawkeye mocked as another Doombot came to take Wolverine in hand. He watched as the grizzled mutant was bent over a knee despite his struggles, hairy buns in the air. A hard paddling, naturally, ensued.
"OW! OW! OW! Oh, shaddup Clint! Argh!"
"THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME YOU HAVE FALLEN TO DOOM," the robot noted. "AND IT WILL NOT BE THE LAST." Its paddle was made of some high-tech alloy, apparently stronger than steel, with glowing circuitry visible beneath its surface. It evidently hurt quite a lot too, at least to go by Wolverine's growled yelps.
"Fall in, Avengers! They're picking us off one by one!" Captain America instructed. The others nodded and formed a defensive stance, but for at least one hero it was already too late.
"My ionic energy! They're drawing it off somehow!" Wonder Man shouted. A ray had struck him in the chest, seemingly depowering him. They watched as he slowly fell to the floor as his flight powers dissipated. Another Doombot came to collect him and easily set him over a knee and peeled down his spandex pants. Without his super strength Wonder Man was unable to fight back. His toned buttocks could only bounce under a metal palm as he yowled for help.
"Hold on, Simon! I'll—HUH?" Ant-Man gaped. He'd begun to use his own powers to grow to an enormous size and help his teammate. But as he began the process, he was hit with a beam of his own. Rather than grow, he began to shrink down. "M-my pym particles! They're reversing!"
The team could only watch helplessly as he was unable to stop the process, and Ant-Man shrank to the size of a chihuaha, then a mouse, and then finally, well, an ant. A doombot tossed a cube on the floor, which unfurled to become a miniature dollhouse which Ant-Man found himself trapped inside. One which, he would soon discover, was outfitted with all manner of fiendishly designed spank traps just the right size for his miniaturized bottom.
"Uhh Cap, I don't mean to alarm you but this feels suspiciously like they've been prepped with counter-agents to all our abilities," noted Beast.
Cap grit his teeth. "Fall back! We'll send an all-frequency alert for some backup."
"We're calling for help?" asked Spider-Man. "Usually we're the ones who bail out the other teams!"
"Just do it!"
As they made preparations to make an orderly retreat though, one Avenger stood firm.
"Bah, you hero dweebs are going about this all wrong!" Sandman bragged, forming a tornado of sand. "I'll cover our exit!"
"No Sandman, it's too—"
Too late, the former villain ripped into the horde, slicing through their capes and filling their gears with sand. For a moment it seemed like he'd actually beat them back. But then a Doombot almost dismissively tossed some sort of chemical compound into his whipping form. Instantly Sandman slowed, then fell to the floor, confused. He was in his human form of William Baker.
And for some reason he was completely naked.
"Wh-what gives! I can't transform no more!"
"Sandman, you dope!" Spider-Man called, "That must’ve been a silicone coagulant. They've neutralized your powers!"
He was too surrounded for them to help him though. In little time Sandman was bent over another robot's knee, struggling uselessly as one of those electrified paddles began merrily slapping into his ass. He kicked and yowled as the others were forced to retreat.
"AHH MAN!" his voice echoed as they ran, "HOW COME THESE SPANKO BADDIES ALWAYS HAVE A WAY TO NEUTRALIZE MY POWERS! EVERY FRIGGIN’ TIME! OOOWWW!!"
* * * * *
Captain America did a quick headcount.
Of his opening team only himself, Beast, Black Panther, and Spider-Man were still up. It'd been almost a complete rout. He could still hear fighting in other parts of the building, but the longer he listened the less it sounded like 'fighting' and more just... assorted spankings. A quick glance at the security monitors confirmed it. Starfox, Doctor Druid, Black Knight, and several other Avengers reserve members had all been subdued and were kicking and crying over robotic laps in various states of distress. Somehow, each of their abilities had been neutralized.
Iron Man flew in. "Man, you guys really are weak to spankings, aren't you?"
"Not the time, Tony. Give Sandman a hand with your repulsors, will you? You might still be able to free him."
"And open myself up to whatever anti-Stark technique they've brought along? No thanks. How about I stick with you guys and run interference instead."
Cap nodded, too distracted to argue. Already he could see Doombots pouring in from all directions. In a matter of minutes they'd be overrun.
If they weren't rescued by the God of Thunder himself.
A lightning bolt suddenly shattered the skylight, spraying electrified glass everywhere. Thor stood in the center of the room holding his mighty hammer, as big and impressive as ever. His biceps flexed as he stood staunchly. No matter how many times he saw him Cap couldn't help but be a little overawed, every time.
"I heard thou wert in need of mine aid," he told them, "No more of mine friends' bottoms shall roast, so long as Thor of Asgard watches over them!"
As comforting as that may have been, the Doombots didn't want to hear it. They charged, viewing Thor as the primary target. But he spun his hammer and sent a mighty bolt through the whole wave of them. It arced from robot to robot, frying each one's circuitry and making them spark as they either fell over or outright exploded.
In a matter of moments it was over. The entire horde had been destroyed and reduced to scrap.
Captain America caught his breath. "Nice job, Thor. You got here just in time."
"Indeed?" Thor asked, raising a brow. They could still hear Avengers in other parts of the mansion yelping while they took their embarrassing punishments.
Cap chuckled despite himself. "Well, mostly in time. But now that you're here, it should be fairly easy to mop up the rest and rescue our—"
"Sorry Cap, not today."
A massive wave of electricity rang out, not from Thor but another hero in their midst. They were all sent flying. Captain America was shocked to see Iron Man at the center of it, casting out an energy field with his hands, before he was slammed back and hit a wall.
"T-Tony? But—why—"
"Sorry, not Tony. Afraid you've been hoodwinked."
The Iron Man visor slid up, and Captain America cursed himself for a fool. Looking out at him from the Iron Man suit was a Doombot's face.
Of course! Just as they can be modeled after Doctor Doom and his armor, they can also look like any of us!
Thor alone remained standing as the other heroes were swept aside. He strode forward. "How dare thee take the appearance of a friend! Where is the real Iron—" He stopped as Black Panther darted behind him and swiped at his back with his vibranium claws.
"T'challa! What is the meaning of—"
"What you should be asking, Thor, is how many of your other ‘friends’ are Doombots too?"
"You as well?! Argh!" The god tried to defend himself, but Black Panther darted in past his hammer, landing yet more slashes. Each slice removed a chunk of his armor.
Captain America staggered to his feet. "How long?" he asked, gritting his teeth.
"Long enough," said Iron Man smugly. His helmet slid back up.
Beast leapt at the traitorous doombot from behind, but Iron Man shot a repulsor at him, knocking him back as well as disintegrating the trunks off his body. Spider-Man barely dodged his own blast, then had to resort to swinging around the room to keep out of range. Meanwhile, Thor was already almost entirely naked from Black Panther's attacks—until he finally slammed his hammer into the ground and summoned a summoned a bolt strong enough to knock away the robot.
"ENOUGH!" he roared, "Now thou will face the full wrath of the God of Thunder!"
"Sure," Iron Man quipped. "But hey, Thor? Those Doombots you dispatched were only the first wave. The second is insulated."
The Thunder God's eyes widened, and as foretold he beheld another surge of Doombots coming at him from all directions. He summoned his lightning, but it had much less effect this time—most of the bots seemed able to shrug off the effects. He grit his teeth as they piled on him, intent on actually grappling him down. "Hah! Even without my lightning, my strength is more than enough to—" He gasped as a power-draining collar was clamped around his neck.
He fought on, but found himself hard pressed. By the gods, these mere machines may actually best me!
Captain America looked around. The fallen Beast had already been rolled over a knee and was being paddled on his fuzzy blue rump. Meanwhile the Doombot posing as Black Panther had managed to corner Spider-Man with the aid of its cohorts and was forcing him down. And as for himself...
Iron Man rocketed at him and caught him around the waist. "It's over, Steve," the robot said in his best friend's voice. They shifted direction and hurtled upward at supersonic speeds, out through the damaged skylight.
Cap grit his teeth and tried to struggle, but couldn't do much while they hovered a mile over the city. He felt Iron Man's fingers dig into the blue scaled pants he wore and drag them down, leaving him in just a star-spangled jockstrap. A high-tech paddle appeared in Iron Man's grip. All Captain America could do as the spanking started was refuse to show any reaction to it—at least at first. The painful swats overlapped on his muscular bare bottom, and the sound resounded over all of Manhattan.
* * * * *
"And as you can see, the real Tony Stark and King T'Challah are perfectly fine."
'Perfectly' may have been overstating it. The Avengers could see them hanging in the background of the shot, wrapped in chains and stark-naked. Both their toned bottoms looked red and welted from what was probably a punishment that'd lasted weeks.
Not that the other Avengers were in much better shape.
They were still squirming over a host of robot knees. The Doombots had helpfully gathered them all together into one place—the same breakfast nook where they'd been eating a mere hour before. Jarvis was the only one still free, and he'd been conscripted to operate the large-screen monitor so they could communicate with their so-called conqueror.
The masked visage of Victor Von Doom gazed out at them from the large screen.
"Doom trusts all understand now who holds the power?" he asked in that infuriatingly superior way of his.
"But—why?" Spider-Man yelped. "Why catch us all for a... a spanking!?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Wonder Man snapped. "The Handler got him too, back when he was running around free. Just like he got Doc Ock, Magneto, Ronan and all the others."
But Doom shook his head. "Not so, Simon Williams. No one may discipline Doom if Doom does not wish it."
"Wait—he didn't?"
"Then why're ya flamin' toasting our butts if the Handler ain't making ya!" Wolverine demanded, kicking and snarling as metal palms kept clapping down on all their rears.
"To make a point. That even a master of punishment such as this 'Handler' is not Doom's equal in such matters. And to make sure you understand not to speak lightly of Doom again."
“Speak lightly? What’re you talking about?!”
“Doom believes there was a remark over breakfast.”
"Hold on—this whole invasion was just because I—I made a joke?" Hawkeye asked plaintively.
The villain glared at him. "Such jokes are no laughing matter to Doom."
"Oh for the love of—"
"Augh! Fine, we get it! We won't joke about anybody getting the better of you again! Aowww!" Ant-Man cried, twisting his naked ass around.
"See that you do not."
As if to punctuate his words, the assorted spankings intensified, making all the Avengers twist and shout. Sandman especially was close to tears. He was the hero most unused to pain. Each clap to his bare bottom had him begging and pleading. "Oww, c'mon man, please! I thought if I went straight I'd get LESS spankings! OOOHHH! Please man, I'll be GOOD!"
But of all the heroes, it was Thor who felt the most shame in his defeat. Only All-Father Odin had the right to discipline him in such a visceral, humiliating way. But regardless of his feelings he was still nude and collared, wincing as several Doombots took turns paddling him 'til even his muscular buttocks swelled with heat. Alas, his hammer Mjolnir had been banished to a pocket dimension for the duration of his punishment. Doom had thought of everything.
He wiggled helplessly and grit his teeth. "By the All-Father, these mechanical paddles sting as hotly as the very fires of Surtr!"
The only man still resisting was Captain America. He kept his jaw clamped as he glared at the screen. "The others have a point, Doom," he said, resisting the urge to squirm with everyone else as his bottom bounced and reddened. "If you weren't influenced by the Handler, why—nngh—resort to using his methods? Other villains we've faced have claimed he never punished them, too. Can you be sure you haven't been corrupted?"
Doctor Doom stared back at him implacably.
"Yes," he said. "Doom is sure."
"How?"
"Because I am Doom."
"That's not an answer!"
"Just because you do not comprehend it does not mean it has not answered your question, Steve Rogers."
"Uhh, Cap, can you please stop antagonizing the guy with the robot army paddling us?" Spider-Man whimpered.
Doctor Doom chuckled. "Perhaps there is one way Doom can show you his sincerity."
"Augh! How?"
"Because if Doom was truly not himself... he would continue to punish you. Perhaps even spank you to complete subjugation. Until Doom's name was all that remained on your lips, and you all begged for the opportunity to serve him, if only to make the pain end for a short while.” He took a sip of wine. “But Doom does not deal in such trivialities. When Doom dominates you, it will be because you realize his power is inevitable and absolute. You will willingly seek it out. That will be the day you truly become Doom's thralls." He tilted his head as he regarded them. "Besides, Doom believes he has made his point... has he not?"
Each of the Doombots raised their palms over a different red, swollen bottom.
"Yes, yes, you've made your point!!" everyone cried.
"Then Doom will take his leave... so long as he is not compelled to return and teach the same lesson again."
The heroes all sighed in relief as they were finally released and dropped to the floor. Everyone, one and all, grabbed their sore butts, even Thor and Captain America. Cap bit his lip as they watched the army of Doom Bots fly off back in the direction of Latveria. They were leaving Avengers Mansion in shambles, as well as the pride of its occupants.
"So... WAS Doom spanked by the Handler? Or wasn't he?" a teary-eyed Sandman wondered.
THWIP!
A ball of webbing engulfed Sandman's mouth, muffling him. "Mmph!"
"I don't know, but I'm also really not in the mood for all those robots to turn around. So I'm fine not talking about it, agreed?" Spider-Man asked.
All the other Avengers nodded, looking nervously up at the sky.
But Captain America pursed his lips, thinking back over the past few months. A new spanking supervillain every week. Avengers and other heroes being whipped in the streets. Endless news stories on various heroes' red, swollen butts. It was clear to him they couldn't continue on in their current direction. Not if they wanted to maintain any dignity as the face of justice.
Which meant... it was time to make a visit he'd very much been putting off.