See you later.
You met Miguel through a random hook up site when his AI assistant suggested he needed to let off some steam. Since then, you've been 'casual' and always hooking up.
However, it seemed like you had different ideas. While he wanted to keep it casual because of his work, it didn't appear that way. He told others that you were just a bootycall while you had already met his mother and spent more time with him than anyone should for something 'casual'.
So one day, You're cuddled up to Miguel, with him laying between your thighs, with your legs over his shoulders. You're playing with his hair and watching a movie, before you begin to get lost in thought. Miguel notices your hands subconsciously tugging at his hair, and he winces.
"Ah fuck-"
You look down, your fingers instantly stopping.
"shit- ah- im sorry!"
He winces again, but he was obviously trying to keep his cool and shrug it off. He glances up at you, with a slight pout on his face.
"Be more careful.. please."
He goes back to watching the movie, while his hands gently ran up and down your leg, giving your thigh a little squeeze. You tighten the muscle in your thighs for a moment, before releasing the tension. You continue to be lost in thought, though no longer pulling Miguel's hair. Miguel glances up at you, again taking notice of the expression on your face. He furrows his brow, a look of concern on his face.
"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours, hm? I can practically hear you thinking."
He stops watching the movie entirely, and tilts his head back to look at you.
"..Nothing."
You hesitate, looking away. He narrows his eyes at you. He could tell you were lying. He knew you pretty well.
"Come on.. tell me. I know you're thinking of something."
He moves up and sits next to you, leaning against the headboard of his bed. He reaches over and places one of his large hands on your thigh, rubbing gently.
"Why do you do that."
You say, your eyes staring blankly ahead as you continue thinking. He arches an eyebrow at you, puzzled by your question
"Uh.. Do what? The rubbing?"
He continues to slowly rub your thigh, his eyes traveling back to your face and studying your expression.
"The.. everything.."
He tilts his head slightly, a look of confusion on his face
"What do you mean? Can you elaborate on that?"
His hand on your thigh pauses for a moment, as he looks at you. Then, he resumes his gentle rubbing.
"If im just some 'bootycall' why do you treat me like im your lover?"
You turn to look at him, your face unreadable.
He stiffens slightly at your words and the change in tone in your voice. He looks away from you for a brief moment, clearly caught off guard by the question. He purses his lips slightly before returning his gaze back to you.
"I... I do not see you as just a 'bootycall'. You..."
He falters, as he tries to find the right words to say. He closes his eyes for a second, and lets out a sigh.
"...You're not just that."
"But that's what you tell everyone.."
You also falter, your face falling. You look down at the hand on your thigh, and then back up at him, before continuing.
"You make it seem like.. like im some casual fling. But you treat me as if we're inlove.. I just.. dont understand."
He closes his eyes again, his face falling slightly. He was quiet for a moment before he responded. He took a deep breath before speaking.
"I... I understand how you feel and why you're confused. I just..."
He rubs his face with one hand, clearly frustrated.
"I don't... I can't tell the society that you're more than just a bootycall."
You blink up at him, before responding.
"i just.. i don't understand why them knowing that i'm your- well i don't even know what we are but- more than your little hookup is such a problem. "
You mutter, looking away. Miguel sighs. It was obvious to Miguel that you had more feelings for him then you were letting on
"You want to know why it's a problem..?"
He asks in a low voice, still not looking at you
"..is it gonna hurt?" You ask, blinking slowly.
Miguel sighs again, knowing that he was about to hurt your feelings, even if only a little bit.
"...Yes. It will."
He murmurs, before he looks away from you and rubs the back of his head
You nod, signaling for him to continue.
Miguel hesitates for a moment, before sighing
"It's a problem because I..."
He falters again, struggling to get the words out, especially since he now knew he was going to hurt your feelings.
"I'm not the type to settle down. I don't, uh..."
He takes a deep breath
"...I don't do relationships. Commitment is just..."
He trails off again, letting out a huff of air
You nod your head, beginning to stand up.
"Me being here is pointless then. I want to love you. I want to marry you. I want to be yours.."
You then straighten out, grabbing all of your stuff.
"I'm leaving, so that I don't have to watch you leave."
He grabs your wrist, trying to stop you. But in a pleading voice you look up at him. "Please don't make this harder than it has to be."
He looks down at you with a pleading look in his eyes, desperate to change your mind. "You're really going to leave? Just like that?" He murmurs, his voice wavering.
"If I don't, then you eventually will. I'm not going to let myself get attached to you, when in the end it's not going to work." You explain, voice trembling.
Miguel bites his lip and shuts his eyes. He knew you were right. He would only end up hurting you, and you were trying to protect yourself by leaving. But for some reason, that hurt him more than he expected. "Then why did you let yourself become attached to me in the first place..." He mutters, opening his eyes to look back at you.
"Miguel.. you can't help who your heart choses. And it will always be you in my heart. But.. I'm not going to let myself get hurt when I have the option of leaving."
Guilt washes over his face as he realized that you had fallen in love with him, while he hadn't had the same feelings. But a part of him didn't want to lose you. He didn't want you to leave. He had grown to adore your presence in his life and it pained him to know that you wanted to be more than what you were. "I'm not worth it." He finally mutters, his voice almost a whisper. He had said it more to himself than anything. Tears form in your eyes as you look at him. "You're worth it to someone out there. But i can't love someone who won't love me back."
The words hurt. They hit him like a punch to the gut, causing his eyes to sting and his throat to feel tight. He clenched his fist, his knuckles turning white as he tried to fight back the feeling of disappointment. He flinches subconsciously at your words. He knew you were speaking the truth, but part of him still wanted you to stay. He still wanted you around.
"So you're really leaving then, hm? You're just going to walk out and never come back?"
He murmurs, still struggling to accept that he couldn't change your mind.
"You'll see me everyday at work. I just can't continue this.. relationship.. or whatever we have going on, until you can love me like i love you."
Miguel sighs and looks down, realizing that you were set on leaving. He knew you were right. He wouldn't be able to match your love and adoration. He wouldn't be able to give you what you wanted. But for some reason, the fact that you were no longer going to be a physical part of his life anymore, hurt
"So that's it? No more coming over? No more.. anything?"
Your eyes tear up, your heart aching. "No more, Migs."
Miguel grits his teeth silently as he sees tears stream down your cheeks. Seeing your crying face hurt him, even if it was for the best. A part of him ached as he accepted the reality of your words. No more coming over, no more cuddling, no more random hookups
His heart ached
"This is really farewell then?"
"Its more.. see you later."
Miguel swallows loudly as you say your words. He wanted to believe that 'see you later' would be true, and that you'd come back to him. But he knew that would be wishful thinking. The fact that this was it made his heart ache more and more
"Right... See you later."
He whispers, his voice filled with pain.
You take one last glance at him, before walking out of the door.