Chapter 1
Sam was worried about Bucky. Him not answering texts wasn’t out of the ordinary, but ignoring him for that long? Yeah, it was worrying. Sam had some errands to run so he’d decided to visit Bucky after he was done. He hadn’t been able to focus after a while of Bucky leaving him on delivered.
He knocked on Bucky’s door multiple times before getting a text from Bucky. At least he was alive.
Key is under the mat.
It was a short text but Sam couldn’t give less of a shit as he picked up the key and unlocked the door. He was immediately hit with a kitchen full of dirty dishes, all the curtains closed and Bucky on the couch with headphones on and a YouTube video playing. Bucky lazily waved before turning back to the screen.
“Hey, you good man? You haven’t been reading my texts, which is a new low even for you” Sam chuckled trying to ease the tension even though he was silently panicking.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine” Bucky didn’t even smile at his bad joke and barely looked away from the screen.
“Hey what’s goin’ on man, promise I won’t judge. Is it your autism?” Bucky let out a long sigh and gave him a look.
“It’s not my autism, Sam. It doesn’t just come and go, I’m just having a low. It’ll be fine, I’ve had them before” he shrugged and went back to watching the screen.
“Okay, well you still look like you could use help. Have you eaten?” Bucky rolled his eyes and silently pointed to a plate of what looked like leftovers from mac n’ cheese.
Sam had managed to convince Bucky to get up from the couch and eat a little more while he did the dishes. As Sam finished up Bucky mentioned not mowing when he last changed his clothes or showered.
“Do you want help? I promise it’s fine to ask for help sometimes” Sam offered and he could immediately se the internal conflict going on in Bucky’s mind, he was fairly certain he would say no, however Bucky agreed with a small nod. He could probably see the shock on Sam’s face.
“If it’s okay with you?” It was obvious that he didn’t want to bother the younger man.
Sam had gotten new clothes and drawn a bath for his friend. He had turned around as Bucky undressed and stepped in the bathtub. With a soft sigh Bucky closed his eyes and sank further down into the warm water. Sam poured some shampoo into his hands and started washing the man’s hair, he seemed to relax more and more as Sam gently massaged the soap into his short hair.
“You can ask for help when you need it y’know” Bucky groaned and shot a tiny glare his way.
“You said that. Multiple times” he responded before relaxing again, this time with his eyes open. Sam shrugged before taking a plastic cup and filling it with water.
“Close your eyes” he said and poured the water over the blue eyed man’s hair and rinsing out the shampoo.
It was Bucky that broke the silence first.
“Thanks” it was said so quietly that Sam almost missed it, but he wasn’t going to complain.
“Don’t worry about it, I love you” Bucky gave a small smile “we’re friends” after the last comment Bucky’s smile disappeared and he nodded.
“Right, friends” he said in a quite harsh voice
“I’ll always help you, no matter what” Sam didn’t seem to notice Bucky’s behavior change and Bucky let out a shaky sigh.
Bucky had to have been exhausted since he was so compliant he even let Sam dry him off after the bath. That put Sam even more on edge but he didn’t voice his concerns especially when Bucky was being so trusting. He also didn’t want to embarrass him any further considering he already struggled with asking for help, so Sam simply continued to wipe him off and helped getting him dressed.
As Sam stood up from putting on Bucky’s pants, they were face to face and Bucky was shirtless. They were staring into each other’s eyes and Bucky didn’t miss how Sam’s eyes flickered down to his lips. Deciding to take the opportunity and kiss him, Sam’s hand trailed up to the other man’s face and cupped his cheek, before tilting his head and meeting Bucky’s lips with his own. Sam almost pulled away when he heard the gasp Bucky let out, however Bucky harshly pulled him back and deepened the kiss.
They both pulled back for air and Sam could still taste Bucky. He looked down as a blush spread on his face, Bucky on the other hand did not seem happy. Sam looked up and saw Bucky’s horrified expression, and took a step back.
“I think you need to leave” Bucky said in a pleading voice “we shouldn’t do this, I’m sorry” Sam was about to protest but decided against it and just sighed and nodded.
“Yeah, text me, okay? Otherwise I’ll come barging in again” once again Sam was making jokes that Bucky didn’t even acknowledge. He went to the door and turned around.
“We’re gonna have to talk about this y’know. Text me when you’re ready” he contemplated saying “I love you” but he assumed it wouldn’t help the situation. So he just closed the door and left Bucky once again on the couch, this time with his head in his hands.