Chapter 1
She had to admit that today was her favourite lesson. Still life with her professor Mr Barnes.
Mr Barnes was her favourite professor, if it wasn't for him she had to admit she might have given up her studies by now…
She'd be a lying hypocrite if she said she didn't find him handsome. Sure, he had shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes and a chiselled jaw. And he looked after himself, he had a muscular physique and he was tall and broad.
And every girl in his art class would happily pine over him during their lessons.
So yeah sure he was handsome and she wasn't blind to that.
But he was so much more, he meant so much more to her, more than she could ever convey into words.
Every lesson she would learn so much from him, the way he taught her, and the other students about capturing light in their drawings, their paintings, the lightness of the touch of their brushes, how they could successfully capture the true message in their painting. He taught them with passion how the smallest change they made could turn the art on it's head.
She recognised that he seemed to bring out the best in her and she was truly grateful.
Because of Mr Barnes she actually felt she was good at what she did. It was the only class she truly felt she excelled in. She actually looked forward to this class, and for a moment, she was able to put aside the madness of her outside world and just be present.
She was quietly sat with her drawing pad ready when Mr Barnes appeared.
“Today class we have a model to draw, I really want to see how you interpret the subject.”
She felt her mouth drop open as Mr Rogers, the PE teacher, strode in, wrapped in a gown and sat down on the seat.
He took off the gown, and thankfully he was wearing a pair of black baggy boxers but she felt her face go red.
Something inside of her, repressed from her teenage years, was fighting to get out and she struggled to contain it. She felt not just embarrassment at seeing her teacher in the almost nude but shame. She struggled to concentrate on her drawing, to steady fingers and pencil and to control her breathing.
Mr Barnes came round towards the end of the session to study the drawings.
He stopped at y/n's and frowned, “y/n can you stay after class please.”
She nodded, wiping her sweaty hands down her front.
She sighed at the comments Mr Barnes was giving others, about how imaginative or good their sketches were. He hadn't given her any comments and he clearly wasn't impressed.
She waited patiently after class and watched as Mr Rogers spoke to Mr Barnes and left to get dressed.
Mr Barnes strode over and sat next to y/n, studying her drawing quietly.
“Talk me through it,” he said quietly, looking at the drawing.
She swallowed, and felt the words fall from her lips “fear,” she said, “anger, panic, betrayal”, she looked down, her hands shaking in her lap.
“What happened?” He said quietly.
She swallowed, “when…when I was 14, my uncle he used to … sneak into my bedroom”, she looked down, “he would always be in his boxers, he… he would make me do things”, she shook her head, “when he started to… pressure me I flipped, lost it. I…I screamed and bit him…. Mom heard and sge came rushing in… he was arrested and I didn't see him again…” she whispered.
“I'm sorry”, he said quietly.
She shook her head, “I'm a joke Mr Barnes, this was the one class I thought I felt like me again … I felt like I could escape and lose my past and outside pressure…but Ive failed again, I've failed you Mr Barnes. I'm… I'm sorry…” she started to get up.
“Hey”,he said softly, and he gently touched her shoulder. “Tell me, have you ever drawn a still life with a man you know and trust, a friend or relative.”
She shook her head, “I .. the whole idea…I just feel panicky and…”
He sat down on the chair in front of her and smiled,” how about you draw me? How about I dress as Mr Rogers did, and you draw me.”
“You want me to draw you … in ….in your boxers?” She stuttered.
He nodded,” do you trust me?”