New feelings
"Lance?" Keith asked with a sense of fear, seeing Lance in a hospital gown was not what he had wanted to see. "Lance? What happened to you?" Keith could feel himself shaking and start crying, his hands were shaking as he moved his hand to rest on the bed rail. "H-how did this happen?" Tears started to flow, and Keith slipped his hand into Lance's hand. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry!" Keith was about to fall to the ground in tears when he felt someone hugging him. "You need to be like Papi. You need to be brave." Dalia had walked into the room and held onto Keith's legs, after a pause Keith huffed out a sad laugh. Dalia was crying, she hated seeing her papa’s sad. "You are… you're amazing Dalia. Don't you forget that!" Keith fell to the ground to hug Dalia. "Dalia? Keith?" Keith looked up at the faint mention of his name. "Lance!" Keith and Dalia shot up to see Lance, "you're awake! Oh, thank god." Lance looked around the room with confusion. "Where am I? I should be on a Galra ship, held captive…" Keith helped Lance sit upright, "what do you mean? We're on earth." Lance looked around once more and smiled when he saw Dalia, "that's going to be a paladin conversation. How are you guys?" Lance strained a smile when Keith allowed Dalia to stand closer to him. "Better now you're awake, how do you feel?" Lance smiled that same strained smile, "not as horrible as I probably look. A bit hot and tired-" Lance groaned in pain as he struggled to flick the thin blanket off his right leg. The lack of a blanket meant that Lance’s wound was revealed, Lance had finally seen his wound. Dalia was frozen with shock and horror, her fathers leg was mangled with scars. Lance faltered, his leg had lightning like marks, with stretched and leathery skin scarring Lance’s leg . Keith froze, his hand impulsively hovered his hand over the large scar. Lance silently started to cry, he knew what his injury could mean and he didn’t want to admit it. “Dalia, I think we should let your papa rest. Hey, we’ll come back later.” Keith led Dalia out of the room, and he closed the door behind them. “Is Papa ok?” Dalia asked, she was worried for her father. Keith nodded and led her to Hunk and Pidge, “I’m leaving Dalia here with you guys, I’ll be back soon.” Keith didn’t leave anytime for Pidge or Hunk to argue before he left, not that they were going to argue.
Keith left the group quickly. “Lance!” Keith burst into Lance’s room only to be met with a weeping boy. Lance was distraught, he felt his life was over. His purpose, gone. His meaning in life, gone. He was now just a boy with a scar, nothing more. Nothing less. “Lance… forgive me.” Keith walked over to Lance’s bed slowly. “I-i I’m broken! Keith. What am I supposed to do now?” Lance was horrified by the scaring on his leg, tears didn’t stop. Keith cautiously sat next to Lance, with one hand Keith moved the blanket to cover the scar. “No, stop, I need to see it!” Lance tried to force Keith away so he could see the scar, but he was unsuccessful, his heavy crying had exhausted him quickly. “No… please listen to me. Lance, it’s me Keith, I want to help. How can I help?” Lance shivered he could feel himself getting weaker. “I don’t know, I don’t, I just-” Lance burst into tears once more, Keith hated the sight of Lance crying. “Then let me try, please.” still crying Lance nodded, “Thank you.” Keith let a tear fall, “I’m sorry…” Keith whispered just before he held both sides of Lance’s face and kissed him. “Don’t be. Thank you. All you’ve ever done was help me.” Lance quickly returned the kiss before Keith pulled too far away. “Can I get you anything?” Keith spoke softly still slightly surprised that Lance kissed him in return. “A glass of water would be nice please.” Lance sniffed, Keith nodded and gave Lance a small smile before getting up, Keith gently closed the door behind him. Keith made his way to the canteen where he bumped into Hunk and Dalia, “Papa Keith! Where were you?” Dalia ran to Keith, “Sorry sweetheart, I went back to your father. I couldn’t let you see him like that.” Dalia let out a sob, “Can I please see him?” Keith sighed, “I’m sorry, he’s not in the right mind today. Maybe tomorrow? He’s too fragile at the moment, I'm afraid if he sees you he will only get worse."
“How is it my fault?” Dalia felt angry, she had warned Lance not to go. She knew something bad would happen. “No, it’s not your fault at all. He just loves you so much. You are the only family he truly loves.” Keith whispered, “You're wrong! I’m not the only family he has, he has you, and he has Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro! He has you, Papa… He loves you.” Dalia was crying again, Dalia weakly punched Keith. Dalia wanted to release all her emotions but the crying had weakened her and so she punched Keith weakly, Keith let her. He knew she was sad and he was going to let her process her emotions how she wanted to. Tears began to flow freely again, “I’m sorry sweetheart, tomorrow. I promise.” Dalia still cried but agreed, “I better get this water to Lance.” Keith smiled a little, Keith gave Dalia a kiss on the forehead. “Sorry, that took so long. Dalia really misses you.” Keith whispered as he approached Lance’s bed. Lance accepted the water, “I miss her too, I just don’t think I can. I want to see her but I just can’t.” Lance started to cry once more, "I know. Come on- Let the tears out. It will make you feel better." Keith sat next to Lance once more, "How are you so sure? Because I currently feel like shit." Lance tried to stop his tears and control his shaky voice, "When my dad died I felt like shit. I thought showing emotions made me weak and repulsive, but I was wrong. So very wrong, It got to a point that I felt so bad about what happened and myself. Let's just say I started some not-so-healthy coping mechanisms." Keith leaned slighter closer to Lance to try and give him some reassurance, "what's the point of this?" Lance asked, Keith scoffed a gentle laugh "I was just about to get to that. What I mean is if you don't acknowledge your feelings you won't get better, it's ok to cry. Take it from me." Lance started to laugh but the laughing soon turned to crying, Keith moved to wrap an arm around Lance's shoulder. "It's ok, let it out." Keith whispered as he pulled Lance closer, Lance cried heavily. Lance cried onto Keith’s clothes, tears soaked Keith’s clothes but he couldn’t care less. Keith wanted to focus on Lance. Eventually, Lance started to mumble words but Keith didn't bother trying to understand, he knew Lance was trying to accept his feelings, as hard as that may be.
Lance had fallen asleep while crying. "Your awake, good. Breakfast is on its way." Keith spoke softly, he was blushing at the sight of Lance. "What? Wait you stayed?" Lance opened his eyes fully and noticed he was hugging Keith, Keith nodded and brushed some of Lance's hair out of his face. The pair turned to the door as it slowly opened, "Papa, is it ok for me to come in?" Dalia stood by the door with a plate of food, a tear fell from Lance's face. "Of course sweetie. I'm sorry for yesterday." Dalia smiled and carefully walked with the tray of food to the bed, "It's ok Papa. You're being brave. That's what matters." Dalia smiled and handed Lance the tray of food. "How are you so amazing sweetheart?" Lance giggled as he slowly adjusted to sit upright, "She takes after a certain someone." Keith nudged Lance and smiled, Lance started laughing. "I'm not that good, have you met the rest of the team?" Lance said sarcastically as he carefully cut a sausage on his plate. "As a matter of fact, I have met them. They’re all awesome, truly they are. That includes you." Keith smiled and leaned closer to Lance. "Oh my god, carñino." Lance laughed giving Keith a playful punch, he loved seeing Dalia and Keith. "What does that mean?" It took Lance a few seconds to realise what he said, "Can't remember. It just felt right." Lance shrugged and ate a mouthful of food, "Dalia, what did Papa say?" Lance choked on his food a little at what Keith had said, Keith was looking at Dalia and didn't notice Lance shaking his head at Dalia. "Don't know. My Spanish isn't that good." Dalia shrugged, "here's an idea, Lance teaches us Spanish while he heals?" Keith teased as he turned to Lance waiting for an answer. After he finished his food Lance responded, "sure, I need to practise my Spanish more so it would be nice for people to actually understand me." Lance laughed at his own statement.
"Mr McClain?" The doctor entered the room, "You're awake, wonderful. How are you feeling?" Keith stood up and led Dalia away from the bed so the doctor could get to Lance. "Oh you know I could be better. Pretty tired and so very sore. I'm going to guess that it's normal with my…" Lance didn't finish his sentence he only looked down at his leg, he hadn't seen it since yesterday. "Ah- yes that's very normal. You are a very lucky man Mr McClain. I hear if you hadn't been in one of those Altean pods you might not have even survived." Lance was shocked, he had no idea how bad his condition had been, I mean he was unconscious for most of it. "Is he going to get better?" Dalia walked up to the doctor with tears about to escape her eyes, "Yes. Your father will get better, however, this will take time and a lot of patience. I do warn you, Mr McClain, physical therapy will test you mentally. I suggest making plans to do something you enjoy at least 3 times a week. Whether it's reading a book, watching a movie, or eating a certain food. You will need to make that choice." The doctor looked at Lance, "I-i think I can manage that. I have a question for the doctor. Can I be discharged soon?" Lance looked at his legs sadly, "within the next week I would assume. We still need to do a few tests to make sure everything is ok. In the meantime, I suggest some adjustments be made at home for better access to a wheelchair. Can that be arranged, Mr Kogane?" The doctor finally turned to Keith, "Of course, did you want anything brought here before you get discharged, Lance?" Keith looked at Lance and noticed his saddened nature.
"No." Lance whispered, "I will take my leave now, however, do not hesitate to ask me if you have any questions." With a small wave the doctor left, small sobs left Lance's mouth. "Dalia? Can I get a hug?" Lance whispered as he tried to hide his sobs, Keith gently lifted Dalia to sit next to Lance and give him a hug. "Can you please lend me some of your bravery? I could really use some right now." Dalia started to cry, "I'll give you guys some space." Keith spoke softly so as to not ruin the mood, and quietly Keith left the room. Keith walked around aimlessly not sure of what to do or who to speak to. After about 10 minutes Keith found himself in front of Lance's apartment, Keith lifted the doormat and saw a door key and let himself in. Keith walked through the apartment slowly remembering the brief time he had to live with Pidge, Hunk and Lance. Keith stood at the doorway of Lance's room, the familiar smell of Lance's skincare and aftershave made Keith emotional. He never thought he would have missed the smell of Lance's insistent use of skincare. He missed it all. He missed the late-night conversations when neither of them could sleep, he missed watching Lance cook authentic Cuban dishes. He missed Lance's laugh, he missed Lance's smile. He missed making cocktails with Lance on that random planet, he missed Lance’s ability to light up a room. He missed Lance.
Keith entered Lance's room and sat on his bed, finally taking in the atmosphere he noticed something red in the corner of his eye. His jacket. Keith laughed, "I remember when you took this, have you seriously not returned it." Keith put his jacket over his blade uniform, "I know you said you didn't want me to bring you anything but I think this will make you feel better." Keith laughed to himself as he grabbed a few things from Lance's room. Keith left the apartment and locked the door behind him, walking away from the apartment Keith looked through the things he had grabbed giggling slightly. "Oh hey, Pidge. What are you up to?" Keith noticed Pidge heading to their apartment, "Keith! I feel like I haven't seen you in so long. I'm grabbing my hard drive, I've been asked to help design a mobility aid for Lance. What about you?" Pidge asked, taking note that Keith was carrying something, "That's really cool Pidge! I'm sure you'll do an amazing job. I was just grabbing Lance some things, speaking of getting things, do you know where the nearest mall is?" Pidge thought for a second before responding. "It's about 20 minutes from the garrison, why do you ask?" Pidge looked at Keith with confusion, he hated going to malls. "I need to grab a few things and some new clothes. I'm pretty sure mine blew up on a Galra ship." Keith laughed slightly, "Fair enough, well I'll catch up with you later then." Pidge waved goodbye to Keith and walked off.
Keith walked around the garrison for a few minutes before finally finding his motorbike. Keith lifted the seat to open the storage compartment underneath, and he found his helmet and keys. Keith missed the buzz of adrenaline he got when he rode on his bike, Keith followed the speed limit while on Garrison grounds. As soon as he left the perimeter he sped up dramatically, Keith knew he would be able to get away with his dramatic speed because of how long the road was to the nearest town. Meanwhile, Lance and Dalia were having some very overdue father daughter time. "Papa? Yesterday you said ‘Carñino’ to Papa Keith, what does it actually mean?" Dalia looked at Lance curiously, "Oh sweetheart," Lance giggled and ruffled Dalia's hair, "That's for me to know, I'll tell you when you're a little bit older." Lance continued to giggle before giving Dalia a kiss on the cheek. "Ok. Can you at least tell me a story about you and Papa Keith?" Lance smiled, he knew exactly what story to tell. The story went on for about 5 minutes, "We had a Bonding moment, but if Keith ever asks. It never happened." Lance put a finger to his mouth and laughed, and Dalia laughed too. It was their little secret. "Knock, knock." Keith said as he opened the door, "what are you two laughing about?" Dalia snickered, "You're not allowed to know! It's a secret!" Dalia put a finger to her mouth and Lance copied with a wide smile.
"Ok, let's pretend I believe that. Anyway, I got food and a little present for you Lance." Keith smiled, placing two bags on the bed, "it better not be a leg based pun. I will kill you if it is." Keith laughed, "you think so lowly of me red paladin. But take a look, I think you'd like it." Lance seemed sceptical but looked through the bag slowly, "a frog?" Lance started laughing, "hey, that one's for me, Dalia has the unicorn and you have the puppy one." Lance laughed at Keith's gifts and urged Keith to put on the frog makeup headband. Dalia laughed along with Lance at Keith wearing the headband. His hair stuck up in every direction, it was quite funny. "How did you know what I use?" Lance looked through the various skincare products, "well first I went to your room and saw them, second I took my jacket back. Thanks for stealing it by the way. Then I took the ones I found in your bedroom to the closest skincare shop. Let's just say when I said it was for you they just gave me what you usually get." Lance laughed, "do I go there too often for them to actually remember what I get?" Keith shrugged, "probably, but I guess it pays off. I have never seen you with bad skin." Lance smiled. "That's the point." Keith scoffed out a laugh before handing Dalia her unicorn headband. "Ok, cleanse your face Papa Keith. Then we can do a face mask, then eye pads, then serum and finally moisturiser." Dalia looked at the array of products in front of her and handed it to Keith. "How long have you been training her for this?" Keith looked at Lance with scepticism, "long enough, now come here. I know you're not going to do it right." Lance shrugged and held a hand out for the cleanser.
Lance helped Keith apply the beauty products while Dalia put it on herself and watched the two people she considered family. Once the face masks were put on they had to wait 15 minutes, they passed the time by talking, laughing and making jokes. "Gahh, Princess Dalia must be protected from the wicked evil Lance McClain!" Keith picked Dalia up and put her on his shoulders and pretended to fight Lance with an imaginary sword. Lance played along laughing the entire time until the door suddenly opened. Keith turned to the door wide eyed, making eye contact with commander Iverson. Iverson stood at the door staring at Keith wearing the frog headband, a unicorn print face mask and holding Dalia on his shoulders. "Oh um, carry on. Sorry for interrupting." Iverson said awkwardly before leaving and closing the door, Lance burst into a loud laugh. "Oh my god!" Lance struggled to breathe through his laughing, "you should have seen your face! Oh my god, wait till I tell Pidge! They are so getting that footage for me!" Lance was still hysterical with laughter, Keith carefully moved to hold Dalia in a hug. "What's so funny?" Dalia asked, looking at Keith. "Let's just say, when I was still a student here at the garrison. Iverson was not a fan of me, but he had every right not to like me. I was a problem child. And he's never seen me smile, let alone have fun." Keith sat on the edge of Lance's bed with Dalia still in his arms, "you still are a problem child Carniño." Lance laughed. "Actually I'm a problem adult, technically speaking." Keith poked Lance's arm with a laugh.
"I'm tired." Dalia whispered through a yawn, "ok, come here. We'll skip the eye masks, and the serum today. We still need to moisturise though, then We can get you to bed." Lance gave Dalia a soft smile, Keith moved closer to Lance so he could reach Dalia. Lance carefully removed the face mask and applied the moisturiser to Dalia's face. Keith stood up and carried Dalia to the empty bed in Lance's treatment room, gently placing Dalia in the bed. Keith tucked her in and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight sweetheart." Keith said with a smile, he got a mumbled assortment of words in return. "Come on, you should get some sleep as well." Keith said softly as he turned to Lance, "what? Why are you smiling at me like that?" Lance had a gentle but proud smile plastered on his face, "it's just, I don't think I've ever seen you be this gentle. You're always angry at something, you know back when you first became the black lion's pilot. You were so headstrong and didn't want to listen to anyone, now seeing you with Dalia… it makes me wonder when did you become so gentle?" Keith smirked, "I wouldn't say I've become gentle, more like I'm showing a side I hate most people seeing. Now come on, get some sleep." Lance started to whine, he was slowly becoming himself again. "Come on, I know you're tired. I'll come see you tomorrow." Keith instructed as he began tidying the skincare products. Lance pouted even more, "can you stay the night please?" Keith was taken aback by the question, "do you really want me to stay the night?" Lance nodded and held out a hand for Keith to grab, "please?" Lance sounded so innocent and genuine that Keith immediately caved in and agreed.
Lance moved slightly so Keith could fit in the bed, Keith adjusted himself carefully. Lance struggled to turn onto his side to face Keith, he then moved Keith's arm underneath his head. "Is this ok?" Keith blushed slightly at Lance cuddling him, even though technically it wasn’t the first time "uh yeah. It's fine." Lance smiled and moved his head closer to Keith's chest. Keith kissed Lance's forehead gently, "what was that for?" Lance asked not moving from where he lay, "not sure, I just remembered my dad doing that to me when I had a bad day. And when he was alive…" Lance giggled. "Awe, you do care." Lance whispered, "Does the fact I'm literally letting you cuddle me not prove that?" Lance giggled but didn't answer Keith, he only snuggled closer. Keith laughed and gave Lance one more kiss on the forehead before attempting to fall asleep, Keith couldn't sleep very well but he wasn't mad. He discovered a few things about Lance when he slept, they all made Keith blush. Number 1; Lance doesn't move around in his sleep, unless he's hugging Keith tighter. Number 2; Lance sleeps with a pouty face. Number 3; Lance sleep talks, actually more like sleep mumbles. Keith could only decipher a few of Lance's mumble words, they consisted of; soft, mullet, sharpshooter, loverboy, knife, Keith, pretty. An assortment of words Keith struggled to tie together, so he gave up and focused on Lance's breathing to help him sleep.