Tony Stark had a talent for dealing with chaos—at least, the kind he could control.
Alien invasions? No problem.
Boardroom battles? Bring it on.
Scandals from the paparazzi? That's for breakfast.
It began innocuously enough with Steve, looking unusually nervous, approaching Tony in his lab, dodging between pieces of Iron Man armour. "Tony, I've been thinking," Steve started, fiddling with a stray screwdriver. "Maybe you and I could—"
"No Steve, I am not sparing with you again after you laid my ass on the mat a hundred times" Tony interjected as he shook the screwdriver in front of Steve.
"No, not that, I meant dinner...I was going to ask you out for dinner. Just us. Not as friends," Steve clarified.
Tony froze, his face flashing a panic look before it dissolved in forced cheerfulness that was as fake as his press conference smile. Tony's hand hovering over a circuit board moved as he looked down. "Steve, you're great, but you and me? It's like mixing vibranium and palladium. Explosive, unpredictable. And, well, you... you deserve a good person. Someone who is .." perfect as you, he almost wanted to say ".. who is good and kind like you"
Steve frowned, his disappointment evident. "But I’d like to—”
“Hold on a second,” Tony interrupted. “You haven’t really been out and about, Cap,—”
Steve shot him a disapproving glance at the nickname, but Tony continued, determined. “I mean you haven't really gone out-out. I’ve been around the block more times than I can count." He winced at that and Steve made huffed softly. " You deserve a chance to get out there too, to explore the world beyond.”
Steve made a noncommittal sound, not entirely convinced but he can see the frenzy in Tony's eyes. “Weeeeeell, I guess you have a point. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to meet some new people.”
Tony could see that Steve was processing his words. “Exactly! You might be surprised by what—or who—you find.”
After a moment of thought, Steve nodded. “Alright, I get it. No harm in asking, right?”
Tony felt a rush of relief at Steve’s acceptance. “Right,” he replied, trying to suppress the tightness in his chest. “Friends?”
“Always,” Steve smiled. But Tony could sense a determination brewing beneath the surface.
---
Thus began Steve's unexpected foray into dating a series of individuals who suspiciously resembled Tony Stark in one way or another.
---
It started with a librarian. Sweet, soft-spoken, loved vintage books. "We went for coffee," Steve said, all sunshine and wholesomeness. "She told me about her collection of first-edition novels."
Tony sipped his espresso, biting back a comment about how Steve cooed over the first edition of the War of the Worlds that Tony won at an auction for him. "Thrilling," he said as flatly as possible. Steve looked at him fondly, "But she's not much into sci-fi, so…" he shrugged his shoulders, and Tony tempered down the slight grin from breaking onto his face.
Then came the firefighter. "She's really brave," Steve explained over brunch, his cheeks faintly pink. "And she loves volunteering, too."
"Oh, wonderful," Tony said, cutting into his omelette with more force than necessary. "You'll have lots to talk about when comparing heroics." Bruce looked up from his tablet at Tony, an eyebrow raised.
Tony ignored it.
Steve shrugged, "We do different things for the same cause, so there is no need to compare. She volunteers at that shelter you funded and rebuilt last year after the flood." Tony looked at him, startled that he knew about that. "The one you extended to a full hectare for the animals to run around," he said, picking up his orange juice. Bruce let loose a snort to cover the laughter he was feeling.
When Steve mentioned the software developer—a guy passionate about designing sleek, efficient apps focusing on mental health—Tony was starting to lose his grip on polite disinterest.
"He's really smart," Steve said. "And funny. Kind of reminds me of—"
"Don't say it," Tony interrupted, glaring over his coffee. "Just don't."
Jarvis watched them as he pulled the muffins from the cooled tray and set one next to Tony. Surprised, he looked up. "I think that's lovely, Master Steven. Humour is a great trait to have in a partner," he said matter-of-factly while looking at Tony directly in the eye.
Steve blinked at the two of them, "Uhh, thanks, Jarvis," bit his lips, and returned to making the grocery list.
---
Eventually, the team picked up on Steve's pattern. "Steve's dating life is starting to sound like a highlight reel of someone else's greatest hits," Natasha remarked one morning after their esteemed leader had left for SHIELD and Tony had just come up from one of his lab binges, eating a bagel. A smirk played on her lips.
"Okay, but did you hear about the last one?" Clint added. "The journalist? She's all about uncovering corruption and 'holding the powerful accountable.' Sound like anyone we know?"
Natasha smirked. "You mean the genius billionaire who makes sarcastic comments during Senate hearings?"
"Exactly," Clint said, waving his popcorn dramatically. "Steve's basically building his own Stark-shaped dating pool."
Tony groaned, burying his face in his arms. "He is not."
"Oh, come on," Natasha teased. "The librarian with a thing for history? The firefighter who loves helping people? The tech guy with too many ideas? It's not exactly subtle."
"It's a coincidence," Tony muttered, though even he didn't believe it.
---
But things hit a breaking point when Steve, carrying the snack tray for their movie night, in which Sam, Bucky, and Rhodney were also present, casually mentioned a teacher he'd gone out with—a guy who spent his weekends building and fixing up motorcycles and bikes then teaching kids how to ride.
"He's really down-to-earth," Steve said, his eyes warm as he recounted the date. "And he's great with kids."
Tony almost choked on his drink. "You went out with a guy who builds motorcycles?" he said, his voice slightly strangled. "Did he also have a thing for leather jackets and saving the world, or is that just a bonus?"
Steve tilted his head, frowning slightly. "I don't understand. What's wrong with that?"
"What's wrong is that you're apparently dating my personality traits one by one!" Tony burst out before he could stop himself.
The room went silent. Steve stared at him, a small, sweet smile on his lips. The boys tried not to laugh while Natasha raised an eyebrow, clearly amused.
"Uh," Tony said, realizing what he'd just admitted. "What I meant was—uh, you've got… a type?"
Bucky snorted. "Yeah, Tony. His type is you."
Steve's cheeks turned pink. "Yup, so?" he said.
"You heard the man," Rhodney said, smirking. "All these dates? It's like watching someone try out Tony prototypes. Honestly, it's kind of adorable."
Tony groaned. "Please stop talking."
But Steve looked on defiant and unapologetic. "Well, I was told that I needed to find someone who deserves me, but for some reason, they don't think I deserve the one I want," he said quietly, glancing at Tony.
Sam whistled low. "Man, you're both hopeless."
"Excuse me?" Tony said, but Sam waved him off, looking too pleased with himself.
And then, to make things worse—or better, depending on how you looked at it—Steve smiled. That soft, earnest smile always made Tony feel like the centre of the universe. "Maybe I do have a type," he said, his voice warm but teasing. "But since I can't get the original, I'll have to settle."
Tony blinked, completely thrown. "Wait, no, you shouldn't settle, I mean, you deserve—"
But before he could finish, Steve patted his shoulder, his smile growing. "I guess I just have to keep trying because my best friend sets the bar pretty high."
Tony's features softened, his usual quick wit failing him. "Steve, I—"
"Look, Tony, I know I've been going about this all wrong," Steve continued, his tone shifting towards something more genuine. "But since you wouldn't even give me a chance, I don't think you have a say in this ---unless you'd let me take you out?"
Tony blinked, taken aback. “But..”
"Can we just give it a shot? Worst case, we'll have one awkward date story to add to our collection."
Tony stared, the corners of his mouth twitching into a reluctant smile. "Seriously? A date with me?"
Steve nodded, earnest as ever. "That's all I ever wanted."
Tony sighed, "Okay, one time. Just this one time."
"Finally!" Jarvis said, setting down the drink tray. Everybody beamed at them.
---
It would have been fine, but
... Doom interrupted them 20 minutes into the movie, so they had a do-over.
… then the Fantastic Four asked for help, and since Steve and Tony were having dinner near where the battle was, they were the first ones to respond.
… then Spider-Man had to call out for a rescue in the middle of their Coney Island date.
Tony, pissed at the universe at that point, hauled Steve inside his room as he was picking him up on their fourth rescheduled date and just kissed the bejesus out of him.