He finds her sitting on the rooftop, her chin on her knees. She was looking absently in the horizon, the sun slowly making way for the night. Her eyes were puffy and he recognized the distinct smell of dried tears. He hesitated before approaching her, uncertain if his presence was welcomed or not. Still, he couldn’t leave her alone.
“Dinner is served” Logan simply said. He looked at her, waiting to see if she would show signs that she actually heard him.
“Ah didn’t want him to go.”
Logan didn’t need to be a telepath to figure that one out. Rogue’s feelings towards the Cajun were as clear as water. As soon as she heard the news, she spent the rest of the day being on edge, uncertain on what she should do with her own body.
“Ah made so many mistakes in the past year. Rejectin’ him. Sidin’ with a terrorist. Tryin’ to kill a man in his good name… Lettin’ him go is the one decision Ah know is right.” She paused. He could sense her whole body was focused on not breaking down right there, in front of him. He walked quietly and sat down next to her. Rogue was staring in the void, seemingly determined to avoid any eye contact.
“Ah know this is what he needs, but- but…“
Rogue’s voice was shaking and she couldn’t keep in her tears anymore. She hides her face on her knees as she sobbed. She was unable to form coherent words. Logan removed his jacket and put it around her. She kept crying as he guided her to his shoulder.
“Ah spent the past year either mournin’ him or tryin’ to save him. My whole body and soul want to be close to him, support him in his recovery, love him like he deserves. But Ah can’t even do that and it hurts so, so much. Ah’m such a fool. A naïve useless fool.”
Logan felt her heartache deep within his guts. He cared for Rogue and seeing her blaming herself for a situation that was beyond anyone’s control... Let’s just say he could relate to feeling powerless. She sniffled as she took a tissue paper to clean her face.
“A small selfish part of me wishes that Ah would have asked him to stay with me. He’s so selfless; he would have stayed… I’m sorry, that sound horrible.”
That was the first time Rogue acknowledge Logan’s presence. He frowned as he realized for the first time how the trauma of the past year has affected her. He could see the lack of sleep in her eyes, who were unfocused and heavy. Her cheeks were hollowed and pale. Her usually muscular shoulders and arms were lean. Usually, he picks on these changes quicky. But his energy was so focused on his teammate’s recovery and filling in for various missions, that she went under his radar.
Logan took out a cigarette and lighted it up. He inhaled deeply before speaking.
“Darlin’, don’t apologize for wishing to be with him. You did the right thing, that’s all that matter.” He paused, looking at the horizon. The sky was getting darker, stars making their slow appearance. “This thing he’s doing, he’s got to do it alone. Gumbo loves you, he will come back to you. And once he does, don’t ever let him be alone again.”
He removed his arm from her then stood up. “Now, you should get something to eat. When he comes back, wouldn’t want him to think you starved yourself, don’t you?” He held his hand in the air, waiting for her to take it.
The corner of her lips raised slightly. Rogue wiped her eyes one last time before taking his hand and being pulled on her feet.
Rogue felt a bit lighter for the rest of the evening. She was exhausted from the day’s emotional ride, but she actually took Logan’s advice and ate a little. His last words were lingering in her head. Once Remy comes back to her, once he is ready, she vowed to never let him go again.