First Time for Everything
This went against everything a man from the 1940’s stood for. It was downright shameful, but Bucky Barnes was a man out of time and out of options. Disappearing was something he’d done over and over again. The Winter Soldier was nothing more than a ghost story, and James Buchanan Barnes was technically a ghost. Being a ghost meant no active bank accounts, address, valid social security number, or even a viable date of birth. No real employer would believe anything on his resume (if he even had one) let alone that he was born in 1917. Even if they did, everyone was a threat to the former assassin. Running from torturous organizations while being able to have an honorable source of income was impossible. Bucky Barnes simply could not exist in the modern day.
Money was never a problem when under the control of Hydra. He was given everything he needed to carry out his intended mission. There was always enough food, money, and weapons to be effective. Not comfortable. Effective. It wasn’t a good life but the scientists kept him in top condition so he could carry out anything they asked of him. He had meals, as horrible as they were, and he never had to worry about money. Bucky had just been a game piece living off the funds of the organization with nothing real to his name, so when he escaped he quickly became aware of just how expensive everything was. It wasn’t as though he was looking to live a life of luxury. All Bucky needed was enough to be able to eat everyday, something he currently couldn’t afford. Economic inflation had taken its toll on America since the 40’s, that much was obvious to him. It wasn’t as though everything could remain the cost of a nickel with all the advancements made in consumerism. Bucky had also learned that there was one constant that had followed from the past. A constant that had become more widespread, accessible, and paid well for those willing to take on the task. It was shocking to him the first time he had seen explicit content shown so obviously. When under control of Hydra, his programming had never allowed him to stop and notice all of these things in the modern world. Nudity was seen in movies as he walked by screens, ads for women promoting their escort businesses could be seen at every bus stop, and it was almost too easy to access adult films on the internet. Similar to the prostitution rings running the streets of 1930’s Brooklyn, almost everyone would pay to see the human body, no matter the era.
At first Bucky didn’t cave into the idea. He believed no amount of money could soothe the burn his dignity would take. In his mind, he’d just be selling his body for something other than killing. Letting other people use them for their own pleasure, even if it wasn’t to satisfy their craving for violence. For a long time the idea made him nauseous. Putting himself in such a vulnerable position to be spread for anyone to see sparked an anxiety in his chest that he had never felt before. Bucky had been used as a tool for others far too many times in the past. He was not prepared to become a sex symbol for strangers he had never even seen or spoken to. It wasn’t only degrading, but it was outright terrifying. He had lived through the great depression. He had survived torture and starvation multiple times over, so the idea of poverty and decrepit living almost didn’t bother him.
Almost.
They say that you can’t heal from your past if you keep yourself in the same environment you were hurt in. Stealing to eat and lying just to live in whatever abandoned apartment he could find in a new city every couple of weeks became a nightmare for Bucky. In addition to the nightmares he was already facing of reliving the atrocities he was forced to commit, dreams of being eaten by the gutter rats that ran around the dingy apartments he stayed in began to plague his mind. Hunger and the feeling of constantly being in danger began to eat away at Bucky not only physically but emotionally. It began feeling like he was choking on his own history while constantly getting beat down by the struggle to stay alive. After so long he decided that he couldn’t fight two demons at once. If he had the resources to fund his financial future, it would be stupid not to take it right? …right? At least that’s what he told himself when he went out and stole a computer with a built in webcam from whatever tech store he came across first. That is the phrase he repeated when he signed up for anonymous payments he could take out in cash to keep everything untraceable, and those are the words he repeated when he made the creator account on the most popular porn site to upload to.
Getting in front of a camera was the first thing he struggled to get used to. When you've spent your entire life hiding from surveillance cameras, purposely putting yourself in front of one seems absurd. Bucky soon came to the conclusion that he couldn’t look at his face on camera. Not only was he meant to be hiding from the world, it made him embarrassed to think about the idea of anyone seeing him so intimately. Sure when he was a young man he'd had his share of experiences, but this was so much different. The idea of thousands of people possibly seeing him in what’s meant to be a private moment was so daunting. That's why he decided to put on the mask. It kept his face hidden and his dignity still somewhat intact.
The first time he had hit record on his computer's camera, it was awkward and gritty. The webcam on his computer wasn’t the best quality so it had added to the homemade aesthetic of the video he was making. That was a key difference in his content when compared to others. It seemed so much more real, a distinct contrast to the company made scripts given out to professionals. He had kept his face almost fully out of camera shot, with just the smallest peek of the lower half of his black mask showing and his hair barely brushing his shoulders. Before starting his own video session, he had watched others to see what to do, causing himself to be strained against the fabric of his own jeans. Bucky would never admit it to others or himself, but seeing how easily other men got on camera and showed how confident they could be turned him on more than any woman he had met back when he was young. Aware of his careful positioning, Bucky clicked record on his laptop. His hand trembled slightly as he undid the button of his jeans, even though it was barely noticeable to anyone but himself. He was only able to use one hand since he couldn’t risk his metal arm coming into frame. Even though he thought about how pleasing the feel of the cool metal would be sliding down his dick, he knew that it would be too risky to broadcast the appendage online. Slowly he shifted the fabric down his hips, leaving himself being recorded just in his boxers and his red henley shirt. Bucky's abs tightened and his breathing became labored as he began slowly palming himself through his underwear. From what he had watched previously, he had to be slow about his. He needed to leave himself needy to prolong the video, but not too long to where people would lose interest. A small groan left his mouth when he finally pulled his fully hard cock out of the constraints of his boxers. The noise was muffled by the mask, which acted more like a muzzle than anything else since his face was off screen, but still prominent enough to be caught on the audio of the video. By this point his tip was already leaking with precum, the beads dripping down his length as he throbbed from the cool air of the room. It had been so long since he’d been able to touch himself like this, to be able to take his time with it, that he was already feeling sensitive and needy. Constant missions or being stuck in cryo freeze didn’t give him any opportunity to take care of himself like this and it sure as hell didn’t give him the time to meet anyone who could do this to him. In truth he'd never had anything make him feel good enough to get aroused during his time working as The Asset. Time mixed with the nervousness of being on camera for the first time already had him about ready to burst. Bucky slowly swiped the precum off his tip with his thumb, using it to coat his length and begin stroking himself. The minute he began running his hand up and down his cock, his head rocked back from the pleasure of his own hand, showing off his adams apple for the camera. Sweat began to form on his neck as he writhed under his own fingertips, painting a pretty view for anyone who wanted to watch. Low curses left his lips, barely heard due to the tactical mask covering his mouth as he jerked his hand awkwardly up and down his cock. It was quick and needy as his arm flexed, showing off every muscle he was using to bring himself over the edge with nothing more than the thought of the men he’d watched beforehand. Embarrassingly enough, It didn’t take much for Bucky to cum on video for the first time. A few minutes of desperate stroking just to get a release from the nerves he felt about being filmed and thick, hot cum had painted his shirt up to his stomach and was dripping down his hand. Post-release, Bucky was left a panting mess as his stomach clenched and his dick twitched as he reeled from his euphoric high. Remembering to let the view of him covered in his own mess linger for a moment so the camera could capture it perfectly, he began lazily touching himself through his orgasm to milk it for all he can.
A few moments later, he clicked the stop button on the recording and saved it to his files. After cleaning himself up he hit upload and within minutes the view count had begun growing. Not even two hours later, the video of himself had reached three thousand views and he had gained multiple subscribers who had commented that they were eagerly awaiting more content. Of course Bucky was pleased with himself since viewers were the equivalent of money, but what had shocked him even more was the donation of 500 dollars from someone with the screen name “Icepop”.