Peter hated New Year’s Eve.
Well, maybe that’s an over-exaggeration. Peter has hated New Year’s Eve since he was classified as a little.
Before his classification, May and Peter had always stayed up late to watch the ball drop, followed by a movie marathon of their favorite movies. The last time he did this was two years ago as his now 16-year-old self had come to realize.
For the last two years, Peter had never managed to remain big enough for him to stay up late. Like clockwork, his 15-month-old headspace would have him yawning by 6:30 so that he could be put to bed by 7:45. And while he enjoyed his bedtime process with Tony, the frustration he has felt when he wakes up the next day to realize he has missed another New Year’s Eve is what is motivating his decision.
Peter will not allow himself to drop.
Is this a smart decision? No.
Would Tony or anyone else be absolutely livid if they found out what he was up to? Absolutely.
Is he going to continue his plan? If it means getting to stay up with Tony and the Team, he’ll face the consequences of his actions later.
He was going to see the ball drop by any means possible.
————————————
7:30 a.m.
Peter could feel his headspace creeping up on him as he awoke on New Year’s Eve morning. He hadn’t dropped in three days and his body and brain were sending him signals that regression was on the horizon.
“Don’t panic, just breathe and focus on being big” Peter coached himself. It was hard, but after a few minutes Peter could feel his regression slowly fade into the background. As long as he kept calm and stayed away from things that would trigger his headspace, he would be able to stay big. Easy enough right?
After getting dressed for the day, Peter made his way into the kitchen to the fridge to see his adoptive father and Bruce chatting over a cup of coffee.
“Morning Dad!”
“Um, good morning?” Tony said, surprised to hear Peter’s teenage self, as he had been showing signs of going into his headspace last night.
“You feeling okay bambino?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Peter said trying to keep his voice steady as Tony’s pet name almost tipped his headspace again.
“Well usually after a few days of you being big, you go into headspace for a while. I just had expected you to be small this morning.”
“Huh, well I guess my body didn't need to regress!”
“As long as you aren’t fighting you headspace, it should be fine” Bruce said now also staring intensely at him.
Peter could tell that Bruce and his dad were not buying his story.
Why couldn’t they just believe that he was big?!?!
He just needed to get to midnight and then he could be in headspace for as long as he needed to be.
“Well since I’m big, I can stay up for the party and watch the ball drop with the rest of the team, Happy, and Aunt May tonight. Right?” Peter asked, remaining hopeful that they weren’t on to him.
“I guess you can. You're usually asleep for the ball drop.” Tony said
“Well, first time for everything! I’m gonna go hang out in my room, I’ll see you later!” Peter exclaimed as he ran out of the room with an apple and some peanut butter in a bowl.
“He’s hiding something”
“Yup”
“Are you gonna say anything to him? You are his caregiver?”
Tony sighed as he brought his cup of coffee to his mouth
“I’m gonna see how this one plays out.
————————————
1:45 p.m.
Update…
Staying big was a lot fucking harder than he anticipated it would be.
By this point, breathing and ignoring his headspace was becoming increasingly harder. Peter had been warned countless times by his Uncle Bruce what happens if he repeatedly denies his body’s instinct to regress.
Headaches.
Fatigue.
Fever.
Vomiting.
Peter could make himself sick if he’s not careful but at this point, he’s come too far. And besides, none of those side effects have happened so there is nothing to worry about. As he walks back to the living room, Peter passes by his nursery.
Tony had refused to do a Star Wars theme but they were able to compromise and made it space-themed. As he stood in the doorway, it was almost as if the room was antagonizing him.
The star mobile that soothes him to sleep with his favorite lullabies.
His trusty dinosaur stuffie Socks lying on his changing table.
The recliner chair that Tony and his family had taken turns rocking and cuddling him to sleep in time and time again.
All of these things were screaming at Peter to just give in.
Maybe, if he went inside for a few minutes-
“Peter?” A voice called from the end of the hallway breaking him out of his thoughts.
He looked up to see Bucky and Steve looking at him.
Between Bucky’s concerned eyes and Steve’s investigative eyes, Peter really had to control himself from not buckling under his uncles' eyes.
“Hi…um… what’s up?” Peter said with as much confidence as he could muster.
“Everyone is waiting for you to eat lunch. Are you feeling like you need to regress? Do you need us to get Tony?” Steve asked
“No! I mean, I was just on my way. I just got distracted but I’m fine now!” Peter quickly rushed out.
He knew he needed to calm down but he knew that Bucky and Steve could see right through him as the trio had a standoff.
He couldn’t let Bucky and Steve ruin his plans now.
“Alright well if you need anything just let someone know. You ready to head to lunch?” Bucky asked, seemingly buying Peter’s story.
“Of course! Let’s go!” Peter said as he walked quickly past his uncles to head into the dinning area.
“He’s a terrible liar,” Bucky says flatly when Peter is far enough away.
Laughing, Steve puts his arm around his friend, “Yes he is. But I’m sure he’ll cave soon enough.”
————————————
6:15 p.m.
It was getting increasingly harder to keep up with his plan.
After speed-eating through lunch, and playing board games all afternoon with Natasha, Clint, and Steve, Peter was struggling to stay big.
He could sense a headache coming on, and while he would normally ask Tony for pain medicine, Peter knew it would draw suspicion and laying low was what he needed to focus on.
Currently, Peter was sitting in a chair trying to tune out everyone as the New Year’s Eve festivities were starting to begin.
Two long tables filled with food and drinks lined the wall.
Music was blasting from the speakers in the walls.
All of the Avengers friends and family had arrived and were mingling.
Multiple people had come over to tell Peter that he could eat or invite him to join a conversation but Peter politely declined knowing that his facade of not needing to regress was starting to wear down and it wouldn’t take much for it to fall.
Focusing on his breathing and thinking about anything besides being curled up in his dadas lap was the most important task at hand.
Stay Big
Stay Big
Think about the Ball Drop
Think about getting to be with the adults
Think about being wrapped up in your favorite blanket nursing a bottle
Think about Dada playing with your hair as he sings you to sleep
Think about- WAIT NO!
“Arrghhh!”
“You okay honey?”
Peter was startled as he did not realize that someone was watching his internal battle with himself. May, now sitting beside him, rested her hand on his shoulder and looked concerned for her nephew.
Oh gosh, Tony and May were at the top of his list of people who he didn’t want to talk to.
His headspace would be harder to fight with either one of them around as they brought him the most comfort.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just haven’t been to a New Year’s Eve party in two years. I think I’m just a little overwhelmed.” Peter said, hoping that the shakiness in his voice was masked from the noise of the party.
May ran her fingers through Peter’s hair, an action he so desperately wanted to lean in and accepted but he had to push her away before he lost himself and he became smaller.
“Well, okay. If you need to step away from the party and want some company, feel free to grab Tony or me okay?” May said looking deeply into his eyes, secretly hoping that her nephew would just admit what was going on.
At this point everyone was aware that something was bothering him.
“Okay.”
“I larb you”
“I larb you too May” Peter whispered, feeling his headache get stronger and a wave of tiredness hit him.
With one final look, May got up and rejoined the others in the festivities of the night. He sighed and laid back into the chair hoping for the night to fly by.
————————————
6:40 p.m.
Peter got up to get a drink of water (having already been told multiple times by his dad that he would not be having any soda or juice) and could feel the fatigue and sickness from his headspace rejection creeping in as he walked across the living room
Just focus on getting water and one foot in front of the other and ignore the worried stares of everyone Peter tells himself.
What Peter hadn’t been prepared for was for the God of Thunder himself to burst through the front door right as he was walking by and scaring him from the unexpected noise.
“I have arrived for the Eve of New Years!” Thor’s voice boomed and walked his way over to Peter, giving him a strong pat on the back. “Ah Little Stark how have you been!”
Peter could hardly prepare himself for how hard he dropped into his headspace. All the will he had at the beginning of the day failed as he felt himself regress into his 14-month-old headspace, immediately wetting his pants in the process.
As he sunk to the floor crying, there was only one person on his mind.
“DADA!”
————————————
“Shhhh Baby Boy it's okay. Dada’s here.” Tony cooed as he walked to the back of the hallway.
Tony had never been so relieved and scared in his life.
He could tell that Peter was fighting his regression.
Between correcting himself when his voice became slurred and trying not to suck on his thumb, Tony could tell that his little boy was struggling.
Right as he was about to intercept him at the drink table and figure out why he was fighting his regression, Thor’s entrance sent him hard into his littlespace.
“Jarvis, will you start the bath?” Tony called up as he was walking into Peter’s nursery, stripping him off his wet pants and sweaty shirt.
“Already started sir”
Peter had not shown any signs of calming down. He wasn’t fighting Tony, but he was crying so hard he was beginning to make himself gag.
“Peter, hey hey look at me, baby. Yeah hi, dada’s here and he’s not upset.” Tony said in a voice that he only reserved for Peter. “Can you calm down? Hmmm? We are gonna take a bath and relax?”
As he settled Peter into the bath, the boy slowly began to calm down with him hiccuping by the time Tony began washing his body.
“I’m sorry Thor scarred you. He didn’t mean to.”
Peter looked up at Tony. His eyes held so much pain and confusion, it was breaking Tony’s heart.
“Tell Daddy what’s wrong? We can fix it together?” Tony cooed.
Right as he thought he wasn’t going to get an answer, Peter chirped, “No sweep.”
“No sleep? Why don’t you wanna go to sleep honey?”
“Ball.”
“Ball?” Peter nodded only further confusing Tony
“What ball sweetheart? Help me understand, take your time.” Tony pressed further.
“Be wit you an’ May… see Ball,” Peter said trying to make his words work. It wasn’t easy with how young he ended up dropping.
“He wanted to stay up late to watch the ball drop with you and me Tony.”
Turning around, Tony saw May standing in the doorway of the bathroom. Her eyes gleaming with nostalgia and sadness for what had happened to Peter earlier.
“Before he was classified, Peter and I always stayed up later to watch the ball drop and I’m guessing he was sad he hasn’t been able to do it with you and me since he has been regressed every New Year’s.” May explained.
“Is that it baby?” Tony asked as he turned back to Peter.
“Yeah” Peter whispered.
“Oh honey, why didn’t you just talk to me? We could have figured something so that way this wouldn’t have happened.” Tony said as he drained the water and began to gather Peter in a towel.
“Sowy”
“It’s okay Baby. We’re sorry we didn’t talk to you earlier about what you wanted to do for New Years.” May said as she combed her fingers through Peter’s wet hair. This time Peter was able to relax into it.
May had laid out Peter’s supplies in the nursery, which made getting him to bed a much easier task. As Tony sat down in the recliner, May passed him a bottle and gave Peter Socks.
“He told me he missed you,” May said, as she pretended to have Socks give Peter a peck on the cheek. With a soft giggle, Peter took hold of Socks and opened his mouth to latch on to the awaiting bottle being held by his Dada.
Closing his eyes and nursing his beloved milk, Peter felt relaxed for the first time all day.
“I’m gonna slip out. I love you and I’ll see you later Peter.” May said as she kissed his forehead.
Feeling his bottom being pat as his dada continued to rock Peter was on his way to a sleep that he so desperately needed.
“The next time you're big we will need to talk but for right now I think you just need a little extra loving,” Tony whispered.
Peter didn’t even feel himself being zipped into his sleep sack and laid into his crib.
“I’ll see you in a bit. I love you, Pete.” Tony whispered as he kissed his forehead.
In a bit? Well, that was strange, what did his Dada mean?
Peter didn’t have time to ask what he meant as he was pulled into dreamland.
————————————
11:59 p.m.
“...Pete…”
“...Baby wake up…”
“...You’re gonna miss the ball drop.”
Peter slowly opened his eyes whining.
Why were May and Dada standing over his crib waking him?
Since his plan failed, the least they could do was let him sleep!
Feeling himself being lifted into his dada’s arms, Peter slowly peeled his open to see that May had pulled up the ball drop on her phone.
Wait! He was gonna get to see the ball drop!
“Ready Peter?” May whispered as she rubbed his back.
Feeling too tired to respond, the only thing he could do was blink, but was sure she understood his message as she and Tony began counting down.
Ten
Nine
Eight
Seven
Six
Five
Four
Three
Two
One
“Happy New Year!” May and Tony whispered as they peppered kisses onto his cheeks. Even Socks was able to get a New Year’s Kiss!
Even though this wasn’t his original plan for his New Year’s Eve celebration, Peter had to admit this was much better than staying up all night. He could have his movie night with May the next day anyway.
“We love you, Peter, you can go back to sleep.” May cooed as Tony began rocking back and forth.
As Peter began to close his eyes again he couldn’t help but smile.
Maybe being little on New Year’s Eve wasn’t so bad after all.