Fresh Air
When Jean and Scott announced their engagement, it didn't go unnoticed by either of them that Logan slipped out of the room without saying anything. He never offered his official congratulations, but the couple didn't expect him to. He kept to himself for a while, avoiding them whenever possible. Jean heard from Ororo that he was allowing himself to lean on her and Kurt for support, or at least wasn't actively fighting them over their efforts, so Scott told Jean not to worry about him. It was supposed to finally be about the two of them, only them, not Logan or anyone else that had come between them before.
It didn't stop Jean from growing concerned when Logan started acting POLITE towards them when they had to be in a room together. It was almost unsettling. Scott didn't admit it, but his assurances didn't stop him from worrying either.
When they discussed who to invite to the wedding, they were conflicted about Logan. They both wanted him there, unquestionably. Scott truly believed that the two of them wouldn't be there without Logan; having him around came with its rough patches, but it was indisputable in their eyes that they and their relationship improved because of him.
When their wedding was around the corner, Jean told him that she had a conversation with Logan about his attendance, but wasn't sure what he'd end up deciding. Scott didn't think it would ruin the wedding or anything if he didn't show up, but he would blame Logan if Jean spent their day having to be sad about it.
He ended up cornering Logan in the garage while he worked on his bike. They hadn't spoken to each other directly for weeks at that point. Scott almost missed him.
He asked Logan if they should save a seat for him or not.
“Why? Because Jean wants me there?” he asked sarcastically, irreverent toward what he’d assumed was going to be nagging.
“Because I want you there.” Scott had said.
Logan went back to polishing his motorcycle. Acted like he wasn't there. But Scott had come prepared to wait him out for as long as it took.
“I’ll think about it.” Logan said to make him go away. Scott had no choice but to accept the answer with apprehension.
They tried to put it out of their minds, there was too much else to do in terms of planning. In the end, all they could do was trust that the other X-Men would drag him along kicking, screaming, and inebriated at the open bar.
When the day arrived, he was there in the seat they saved for him, arms crossed and stubborn. It was a welcome sight for everyone.
After the ceremony, Jean and Scott started their rounds with friends and family to say hi and receive well wishes. But after a few conversations, Scott only needed to see Jean's face once to know what she really wanted. He excused them from the group, took her hand, and led them to the bar.
There he was, all dressed up in his little tux and pink corsage and slicked back hair that wouldn't stay down completely, even with product. Martini glass in hand, he leaned back, nonchalant, and downed the whole thing in one go. If he didn't want to be found by the two, he would be anywhere else but there.
Scott let go of Jean's hand and stepped towards him. He locked eyes with Logan and the crowd parted just a little as he approached.
They stopped at arm's length and sized each other up.
Scott held out his hand for an amicable handshake, appealing to Logan’s masculinity and old-school sensibilities.
Logan's face was terse as he stared the offer down. He pushed his hand away, rejecting it, and strode forward. Scott barely had time to brace for the hit when he was pulled into a constricting hug instead.
Logan held onto him until he returned the embrace. Scott smiled, wrapped his arms around the wider man, and patted him a few times on the back. Then, Logan pulled back without a word and reached into his inner coat pocket, pulling out a white envelope. He shoved it against Scott’s chest.
“Wanted to give you your gift in person.” he said to the both of them. “Make sure you got it.”
He complimented Jean's dress while Scott opened the letter and read the contents. Jean read it alongside him vicariously through telepathy.
At their honeymoon destination, he'd pulled some strings with friends to get them a few things. A sunset boat tour, a local guide to the best restaurants, and two tickets to a play in the area.
“I know money ain't a problem,” he said. Charles covered all the honeymoon expenses, as he did everything. “but I figured a surprise would be nice. It's the thought that counts, right?”
A misty-eyed Jean pulled him into a hug of her own and thanked him. Scott put a hand on his shoulder and did the same.
Logan always spoke with actions louder than words. One of those actions that night was joining them on the dance floor after downing half the bar’s liquor supply.
Two weeks later, when they'd returned from their honeymoon, Scott bumped into Logan in the mansion. He teased Scott for the sunburn. Scott said he got it on the boat ride. Logan asked if they had a good time.
Scott told him it was amazing. Next time, he said, Logan should come with them.
Logan didn't smile often.
When he did, it made people feel special.
-
It was early evening when they arrived at the cabin, but the summer schedule meant that it was still bright out. The cabin was bigger than any of them were expecting; it had four big bedrooms in the upstairs, two queens per room. The downstairs was open concept except for the “cozy room”- a smaller carpeted room with a big fireplace and slouching chairs, designed for smaller winter visits. The downstairs bathroom was spacious, with a shower and bath that could each fit multiple people. The rest of the space was a combo kitchen-living-dining area, with more than enough lounging space for all of them. The whole building was easily larger than the Logan-Summers house, designed with big group trips in mind. It was obviously purchased specifically for X-Men vacations.
It was surrounded by scenic woods, mostly deciduous. The yard had a fire pit for bonfires and a big dirt patch with poles to hang a net on for volleyball or tennis. A small trail wound off into the woods and landed at a small lake.
They kept having to remind each other as they settled in that this was NOT a vacation, and they all had to remain alert and aware.
While everyone scoped out their temporary hideout and got settled in, Scott stumbled on the older Logan sizing up the fire pit, kicking around the fallen leaves inside to see how much wood was left there. His hunched posture and hands in jean pockets reminded Scott of the old men who stood around New York and watched construction.
Scott walked up to his side and put a hand on his back, as he often did to get Logan's attention. What was different this time, however, was Logan flinching under his touch. He must not have heard Scott coming, which was something he had forgotten to consider.
“How's it going? I couldn't help but notice that everyone in van crew survived.”
Logan grunted without looking up. “Barely.”
Scott found himself caught up in the heavy bags on Logan’s face and the way veins became more visible through the thinning skin. His brows had a near-permanent crease between them. His beard hid his mouth most of the time, but when his warm eyes traveled over then, Scott could see the way his lips turned up at one side. Scott could feel his own smile reaching his eyes at everything that had changed in Logan's appearance, and everything underneath that hadn't.
The overwhelming warmth being directed Scott’s way was becoming more than he knew what to do with, so he spoke up to break it up.
“This is a nice place.” he motioned around by turning his body toward the cabin.
Logan gave a stiff nod. “Couple of us picked it out. Well, not 'us’, I wasn't involved.”
“Really? Seems like a decision a married couple should make together.” he said pointedly. “Not to mention that a cabin out in the middle of nowhere is a pretty classic Logan thing.”
His face became less readable and he looked up from the charred logs to the surrounding trees. “Scott and I weren't together yet. Not in any official sense, anyway. No one ever said, but I suspect that's part of why they went with this place as a vacation house for everyone. Make sure I actually showed up.”
His features turned incredibly sour at the memory and Scott wondered what the whole story was. Logan had made human life seem placid, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he'd had rough patches. Not only did it not take a genius, it only took anyone who knew Logan at all.
“How are you doing, by the way? Any better?” Scott asked.
Logan shrugged. “Head still hurts, but if I’m supposed to complain every time something hurt, then I've been wasting a hell of a lot of time.”
“You could have told me you didn't drink anymore.” he said a little quieter, in case anyone could hear.
“Usually a drink or two with friends is fine these days.” Logan said, matching his volume. “But I should have known better, with Jean around. I didn't mean to have that much, but once I started, ‘n got myself in a bad mood…” he trailed off.
They were sort of aimlessly wandering in the direction of the house now, neither in a hurry to get anywhere.
“Shouldn't a’ blown up at you this morning.” Logan said after a pause. “Sorry.”
“No.” Scott agreed. “But I get it. Or… I guess I don't get it, but that's the point.”
Logan nodded again.
Scott bumped lightly against him in a friendly gesture. “Don't beat yourself up too much about it. Honestly, I'd still take you over my Logan any day.”
The older man stopped in his tracks. When Scott looked back at him, he was staring at the ground with a hard expression.
“What's up?” he asked him.
Logan didn't answer right away, thinking something over.
“Nothing.” Logan grunted, then rejoined him.
Scott decided to let it go, and they headed inside.
Upstairs, people were claiming beds. The amount of space meant most of them got their own this time around. Scott was going to share with the older Logan since he saw no reason to break form, but everyone had already picked a bed by the time they got there, so Logan wound up sharing with Kurt and Scott took the bed opposite him with Bobby.
He did end up helping share the responsibility of getting dinner ready with Logan, though. He was aware he was clinging to him, but with the combination of stealing his husband's body and the episode Logan had earlier, Scott felt obligated. And, well, if he wanted to spend some time with this more pleasant version of Logan before going back to his ornery one full-time, that was fine too.
With the luxury of an early bedtime available, Scott was one of the first to turn in, earning some teasing for being old. But he didn't care, because the sheets were soft and the blankets were light.
-
The next morning Scott woke up, jumped, and felt around for his glasses while keeping his eyes squeezed shut. The complaining sleep whine of Bobby behind him made Scott remember that he didn't need the glasses in record time. When he opened his eyes, he saw Logan across from him, lying on his stomach with his arm hanging over the side of the bed. With his hips twisted out to the side, he looked a bit like a cat stretching out, with that special quality of Logan's that would have you thinking it was almost cute.
This aspect was not helped at all by Kurt, who was more or less on top of him. His arms, a leg, and a tail were slung over Logan, and his head rested between his shoulder blades with a blissful expression that was contrasted against Logan's default-angry sleeping face. Scott wondered if they were secretly the married couple all along.
Scott tried not to disturb anyone by getting up, but Logan's eyes popped open before he was even upright. His face immediately relaxed from its anxious state, and Scott saw the thoughts chug into motion in his eyes as he woke up slowly.
Wanting to keep quiet, he shot Logan a smile as a greeting. The man, unable to do much with Kurt spread over him like cream cheese on a bagel, lifted his free hand out in a small, sleepy wave with his fingers. With the beds being close enough together, Scott responded by swinging his own hand out to brush against Logan’s arm. The corner of his lip twitched upwards, and he closed his eyes to go back to sleep.
With the rising of the sun, Scott was up and dressed, doing so in the bathroom so he wouldn't wake anyone else. It was summer, so it wasn't cold in the cabin, but the stone floor was chilly on his feet. He got his socks on right away.
Ororo was downstairs brewing tea, back in the shirt of Logan's she'd filched as pajamas the previous night. She was tall, so the shirt didn't fully cover her underwear, but she was not shy about it in the slightest. Side effect of being effortlessly stunning, Scott supposed.
They greeted each other with quiet voices to keep the volume down.
“Would you like a cup of tea? It's chamomile.” she said.
“Sure. Are we the only ones up?”
“Our Logan took off on a walk, but he's the only one I've seen.” She poured him a mug and passed the sugar over.
“No surprise there. I would be more shocked if he got much sleep at all.” He took a small sip of the still steaming beverage. “Though, if it were him and you in a room together…”
She laughed, deep voice clear in the otherwise empty room. “No, he's sharing with Peter, unfortunately. The rooms are a bit too close together, anyway.”
Scott had caught the two in compromising circumstances in far more public spaces, but he knew better than to go down that path of conversation with a woman who didn't know shame.
“Besides, he isn't exactly in the mood for that at the moment.” Ororo commented.
“About that.” Scott sat against the table while Ororo found honey in one of the cabinets. “Jean said you talked to him yesterday?”
“If you want private details, I know that you know to look elsewhere.” she said as she spooned the honey into her mug.
“Of course.” said Scott. “I was just wondering how he seemed to you. And, I guess, if I should be worried about anything he might do.”
“No.” she answered with confidence. “He is struggling with something internal, as is usual.”
Scott sighed. “At least he's talking to you about it.”
“He didn't say much, but I suspect I know part of the problem.”
Great , he thought. How many parts does this problem have, exactly?
Ororo raised her eyebrows at him. “And you, Scott, seem unusually concerned with it.”
“I can't explain it, Ororo.” he admitted. She really did have a way of drawing things out of people. “It's different. Every time I talk to him, something's off about him. He's holding himself back. He never does that, not around me.”
She took a sip of her beverage. “Probably because you aren't the one he's angry at.”
Scott fought the urge to roll his eyes and stuck his eyebrow up at her instead. “Did you not see him shouting at me before I left to come here? He seemed pretty damn mad at me then.”
She smiled, in that slightly irritating way she did when she knew something she couldn't say. “I stand by what I said. Perhaps, when this is over, you'll understand.”
Scott thought he understood a little. He understood that Logan was pouty because everyone liked spending time with this universe’s Logan better; he’d more or less confirmed it when they spoke at the house earlier when Scott accused him of being jealous. If he had a problem with that, it was his own fault for pushing people away.
But something else wasn't sitting right with Scott about the way he'd been acting. Ororo hadn't seen the way he was anxiously dragging his claws out yesterday, and even past that there was… something else he couldn't quite put his finger on, something in his gut. He didn't like that. Gut-based reasoning was Logan’s thing, not his.
Based on that alone, Scott decided to reason with himself that maybe it was all in his head after all. If Ororo wasn't worried, he shouldn't be either. At least, that's what he forced himself to believe to get himself to stop thinking about it. He wasn't going to get anything else out of Ororo on the topic.
Outside the window, the rising sun was painting everything in a golden light, casting shadows of leaves against the glass. They bounced with the weight of a squirrel coming and going. The faint sound of birdsong could be heard.
“You know, a walk doesn't sound too bad right now. Wanna join me?” he asked.
“I'd rather have breakfast first, but thank you for the offer.” she said warmly.
Scott put his boots on and hit the small trail outside, taking his still-too-hot mug with him. It was nice outside for this time of year, cool enough to wear a thin overshirt before it would inevitably warm up later. The trail took him through the trees, and was lined with underbrush starting to lose the summertime deep-emerald of their leaves, dotted with a few small late-blooming flowers. Fallen orange needles from the few coniferous trees were scattered here and there across the path.
The sun was still low in the sky behind him when he reached the lake. The accompanying beach was on the small side, littered with some rocks and a few washed-up aquatic plants. Scott ended up walking out on a rocky ledge that stuck out over the water, and took a seat on one of the larger stones, only to notice a towel and discarded clothing cast aside among the rocks. With uncanny timing, a head of jet-black hair burst out of the lake.
Logan rose up to his chest and shook the water off his face. Being bogged down wet accentuated the absurd thickness of his body hair. That, plus the hair on his head sticking down flat for once, made Scott think of a cat forced to take a bath.
He noticed Scott watching, grinned, and waded over. Thankfully, the water reached his waist by the time he closed the distance. The hair really did just get thicker and thicker as it went down, Scott observed. He wondered if it had even more of that slick quality than the older Logan's.
“You know there are showers at the cabin, right?” Scott asked as Logan sloshed towards him.
Logan crossed his arms up on the large, flat rock sticking out over the water and rested his chin on them. He probably thought he was being cute, if his smarmy face was anything to go by. Scott recognized the “I know I can get away with it because I'm good looking” expression, he threw it at ladies all the time.
“It's not the same.” The wet beast said with a smile. “You should join me.”
“Is the water nice?”
“Frigid.”
Logan pushed away from the rock and splashed back into the water, maintaining eye contact as he did. Scott couldn't help but return his stupid smirk. The man may have been back to being cocky about nothing, but Scott would gladly take it over whatever pent-up nonsense he'd been making his problem for the past few days. Logan was a man of simple pleasures, so maybe this was all it took to get him relaxed again. Time alone in nature was usually Logan's solution to his problems after all, for better or worse.
“You just gonna sit there and stare at me all day, Summers? You keep that up, I might start gettin’ shy.” he said while swishing water around at his sides in a not-quite treading water motion.
Scott blinked, realizing he'd been zoning out directly in Logan's direction.
“Sorry.” he took a sip of his mostly untouched tea and set it down by the rock he'd gotten comfortable on. “But don't act like you didn't smell me long before I got here. Plenty of time to put a towel on.”
Logan came back up to the edge of the rocks at Scott's feet. Since he couldn't swim, he was moving back and forth around the shallow bank aimlessly, but seemed to be enjoying himself nonetheless.
“Now that I think about it, since it's a lake, you're going to have to go rinse off in the shower afterwards anyway.” Scott pointed out.
Logan used his upper body strength to heave himself up onto the rocks. Scott politely looked away and offered the towel. Logan took it, but used it to dry his hair off rather than cover himself up and Scott wondered why he even bothered.
Logan sat on another big rock next to him and draped the towel around his shoulders. Then he took advantage of the privacy Scott had been trying to give him by snatching his mug and taking a drink.
“Man. Come on.”
“You were just letting it go cold anyway.” he took a swig without shame. “You should have more respect for your tea.”
Scott took a beat to puzzle over whether Logan was joking, or if that was another one of his whole dumb “honor” things that he could never get a full handle on. Then, he took another beat to wonder how sitting completely naked on a cold, hard, dirty rock was in any way shape or form better than just wearing the damn towel. Somewhere in between those two beats he forgot what they were talking about.
“Sleep okay?” Logan asked.
“I did, actually. I know you'll get mad at me for saying this, but I've been sleeping pretty well since I got here.” he confessed.
Instead of telling him off for being able to rest while they were technically on a mission, Logan shrugged and took another drink. “You’re in an older body. Probably just what it's used to.” he said, surprisingly reasonably.
“And there are no classes to teach.” Scott added.
“That too.”
“What about you? Sleep okay?” He'd asked the question automatically, realizing the blunder as soon as left his mouth.
Logan raised an eyebrow at him. “That supposed to be a joke?”
“I'll rephrase that. Did you get any sleep at all? ”
“Nope.”
Scott didn't respond, because there wasn't much to say about it. But Logan was never one to turn down a peaceful silence, so they sat and listened to the sounds of nature waking up around them. It was starting to warm quickly now that the sun was up, so Scott took off his overshirt.
It dawned him that he and Logan hadn't had any time alone like this in awhile. Or, more accurately, it dawned on him they used to have a lot more time alone like this before they got so busy the past couple of months.
Not all the X-Men were as much of early risers as they were (or more often in Logan’s case, up all night until early morning), so they would find themselves sharing coffee, going on jogs, or sitting on the roof together. They didn't talk much during those times either, but Logan was the kind of person it was easy not to talk around. His appreciation for the infrequent tranquil moments tended to rub off on people, especially given that Logan was rarely ever in an appreciative mood to begin with. Scott could never admit it to him, but the reminder to take it slow when the opportunity arose did Scott wonders. Maybe that was a factor in why he'd been so stressed lately.
“Hey, Logan?” he asked as they looked out over the picturesque lake together.
“Hm?” he hummed around the drink he was taking.
“Put your clothes on.”