A Little to the Left

When Scott was dressed and ready, wedding ring set aside on the nightstand, he returned to a collective excitement from the team at being able to see his eyes. He was swarmed from all directions immediately by people wanting a closer look, several of them taking pictures for later. Once it was over with, he settled over by the old Logan, who had been keeping an isolated distance. He joined him in leaning against the counter, hoping it would assure him that his input in the conversation was welcome. 

“Okay, if you're all done with that, we have planning to do.” Scott said once things died down. He didn't necessarily mind the attention, but a few of them were definitely being over the top about it.

“Sure, I'll start.” said Rogue. “Why are you sleeping at Logan’s house?”

“That's irrelevant.” Scott replied, stony.

“I would also like to know.” said Piotr. 

“Yeah, Scotty.” said one Logan.

“Yeah, Scotty.” said the other.

“I cannot deal with two of you right now.” Scott said in defeat.

“We could focus on the task at hand?” Jean suggested helpfully. 

There was a beat where no one said anything. 

“I was going to stay up and wait for you guys here. Logan convinced me to sleep for the night while he took a shift. Good enough? Everyone happy? Great, let's move on.” Scott relented, then powered forward before anyone could argue. “I assume you've all been caught up on the circumstances. Did anyone have a course of action in mind?”

With that, no more space was left for antics. Jean took charge in summarizing.

“Where we left off, we were between searching out Jessica to monitor in case she's hunted down, or waiting for our mutant to come to us, since we’re the only ones with powers. That we know of, anyway.”

They gave it further discussion. Both choices came with risk; if there was someone else who the mutant could drain of their lifeforce, then waiting was pointless. Trying to seek out Jessica, or anyone else who could potentially still have their gifts, could be painting a target on that person's back. They could split into two groups, but if they were attacked, that increased the danger they were in. Over the course of the conversation, Logan received messages back from the friends he'd reached out to, all wanting to know what they could do to help, and some with ideas of their own of people who might be sought out by the enemy mutant. 

With that in mind, a plan was settled on; the X-Men would stay gathered together for safety and stay on their guard. The residents of this universe that Logan had connected with would reach out on their own to potential victims and try to cover as many bases as they could, using the fact that they didn’t have mutations of their own to draw attention to fly under the radar. The Ororo of that universe, now a diplomat who traveled regularly, was already going to be in the states; she would be watching Jessica under the guise of a personal visit. 

Most of the X-Men weren't the biggest fans of having to wait to be found while their alternate selves got to work, Scott included. But with the stakes too high for anyone to go off on their own, there wasn't much to be done. Scott expected his team’s Logan to throw a fit about sitting and doing nothing, but even he agreed for once. 

Throughout the whole talk, Scott couldn't help his attention from being drawn in the older-looking Logan’s direction. He did chime in occasionally, but it was obvious he was having trouble keeping his eyes off Jean. He was more tense than Scott had seen him so far. For once, he found himself rooting for him to go talk to her, but that was only because he knew this Logan had no ulterior motive. 

“I do not mean to speak ill of your lovely home,” Kurt said from his perch on the back of a kitchen chair. “but I fear things may get a bit cramped with all of us here. A place like this is not the best for a confrontation, either.”

“Is there somewhere else we can wait? One with less people around?” Rogue asked Logan. “Plus, I can't help but notice that ring o’ yours around your chain, ground bear.” Her look turned impish. “I know you don't mind us intrudin’, but I don't want to cause no trouble with the missus.”

“Ah! I didn't even notice!” Kurt exclaimed gleefully, and if some of the surprised looks around the room were anything to go off of, he wasn't the only one.

“Logan, you should have said something!” Ororo chided, her affectionate excitement infectious. It was no secret that Logan hardly ever got involved in real relationships, so of course him being married was going to be a hot topic. 

Scott did his best to subtly shoot him a look that told him to keep a lid on it, but Logan didn't even look his way. 

“There was more important things to talk about.” he said.

The younger Logan was obviously the most interested, perking up from his spot.  

“Can't pretend I'm not interested to hear about it, either.” he said, hardly bothering to act casual about it. 

“Who is it? Do we know her?” Kitty asked. “Where is she?”

Scott looked at the floor and braced for his answer. 

“Away for a little bit, actually.” Logan said from beside him, not technically lying (Logan’s favorite kind of lying). He sounded a little sheepish, the way he always did when forced to actually talk about his partners, in a way that was undeniably endearing. “Maybe you'll get to meet him later.”

“Him?” Kitty, Anna Marie, and Bobby all said within a second of each other with varying levels of excitement. Jean and Piotr both perked up in their seats, Kurt flicked his tail and clasped his hands together with an open-mouth smile, and Ororo raised a delighted hand to her chest. The older Logan took a drink from his mug to hide his smile at their reactions, probably thinking about how big the response would be when he dropped the rest of the news about his spouse's identity. Because he was a bastard who liked to watch Scott squirm.

At the back of the room, where no one but Scott was paying attention, the younger Logan was having a different reaction entirely. He had stiffened and taken a step back, closely watching everyone's reactions like an invisible threat had entered the room. He withdrew into himself, his nonchalant attitude evaporating as one of unease took its place. 

Scott had been so wrapped up in the fact that it was him and Logan specifically, that the implications of them both being men had left him entirely. It had been just one piece of much bigger crazy pie. He'd never wanted to know about any part of Logan's love life, so the question of whether men were included in that was something he had never considered nor had any inclination to. If you'd asked him, he would have said Logan only had eyes for women, but judging by his current reaction, that assumption seemed to be not only wrong, but something he was not ready for the others to know about. Scott wasn't sure why, because what felt like half the room wasn't straight to begin with.

This surely couldn't be news to everyone there, but Logan was so closed off about himself and choosy about what he told people that Scott had no way of knowing for sure.

Normally Scott would love to watch Logan struggle, but even he knew this was not the occasion for it. Taking pity on him, Scott tried to steer the conversation back on track. 

“So do you know of a better place we can wait?” he asked the older Logan.

“I got a cabin. Not too many folks out there.” the older Logan suggested. The younger of the two seemed to settle down a bit, but he was still wearing a troubled look and slinked off to the other room while no one was looking. 

“How long will it take to drive there?” asked Jean. 

“Not too long, we can get there before dark if we leave tomorrow morning. We'll need to go grocery shopping, though, the place isn't stocked up.”

“It would be fine to split up long enough to go shopping, right? We don't all need to be there.” said Kitty, looking to Scott. 

“I think that's fine.” Inspiration hit him as he realized he was being given the opportunity to delegate. He wanted to speak to the hometeam Logan, as well as give the older Logan a chance to speak to Jean alone. 

He sent Piotr, Ororo, Bobby, and Anna Marie to go to the store. Kurt and Kitty were to stay behind to help prepare food for everyone for the rest of the day. While Logan was helping get them started with ingredients, Scott pulled Jean aside. 

“How are you holding up?” she asked as soon as they were alone, her voice turning sweet in the way it did when she was speaking to him directly. “Go on any crazy adventures without us?”

She placed a hand on his chest, and though it was as chaste a gesture as it got, Scott still felt a little guilty doing anything even casually intimate in the body of someone who was married to another person. 

“No, I really lucked out with this one. I've just been hanging around with Logan.”

She scoffed in surprise. “That’s the type of thing you usually complain about.”

He chuckled in agreement. “Yeah, but this one…” he rolled his eyes mockingly at his own words. “He isn’t so bad.”

“Oh?” Jean acted delighted at that. 

“If pressed, I might even say I like him.” he admitted.

“Wow. Are you sure you're really our Scott?” she joked, both of them knowing it was mostly a routine at this point, and that he Logan more or less got along most days beneath their bickering. What was true was that Scott had already started to prefer this alternate version of him. He was less… angsty. 

“What, you aren't enjoying middle-aged Scotty? Here I thought my knee-popping was attractive.”

Jean giggled and so did he. “It is fun seeing the two of you as old men. Especially since our Logan might not even age. Did you see all the photos of everyone on the wall?”

“I did!”

“I wish we were here long enough to see them all in person.”

“Yeah, me too. Actually, Jean…” he shifted gears. “I wanted to ask you to talk to Logan. The one here.”

“Why? Is something wrong?” she grew concerned.

Scott looked back toward the kitchen where the three on dinner duty were engaged in discussion over the pile of potential ingredients on the counter. Kurt seemed to be counting how many slices of bread were left in the loaf.

“He wanted to talk to you at some point, but I'm worried there won't be time later. Or that he'll chicken out.”

“Chicken out? Logan?” she said with exaggerated disbelief.

“Oh, don't give me that. You know how he gets when it comes to talking about his own problems.”

“That's true.” she said with a fond smile. “I'll go with him to the backyard.”

“Thanks.”

Jean turned to leave, but not before calling back over her shoulder. 

“It’s sweet of you to ask for him.”

“Knock it off.” he warned jokingly. 

-

Logan was entertaining himself by petting the soft fuzz of Kurt’s jolly face, the latter of whom was eating up the attention, when Jean physically dragged him outside by pulling him by the wrist. 

“Come with me.” she demanded. 

Logan looked to Kitty and Kurt for help with alarm, but they both knew better than to get in Jean's way when she was on a mission. 

“Uh oh. Stay safe!” said Kitty as the door closed. 

She let go once they were outside and walked over to the chickens. Her long, sleek hair spilled down to her waist and fell from behind her ear when she crouched to get a closer look at the birds. She was more gorgeous in person than any photo could ever capture, but that didn't mean her beauty had faded from Logan’s mind in the slightest.

“You wanted to talk to me?” Jean coaxed. 

“I did. I do.” He kicked at the ground. “Not quite sure what I want to say yet. I was still figuring that part out.”

She wandered over to his side and watched the animals with him, pressing herself lightly into his arm. She waited a moment to give him a chance to say something, which he didn't take. 

That was always the best part of psychics, in Logan's opinion. You don't have to be good with words around them. 

“I'm dead in this universe.” She said, matter-of-factly.

“You read my mind, or figure it out yourself?”

“I could feel how strongly you reacted to seeing me.” she said gently, then paused. “Was I the only one of us?”

“The only one of you in there.” He pointed his head in the direction of the house. 

He was so full of so many emotions that he didn't handle well, even on his best days; sadness, guilt, love, fear. Jean hooked her arm around his and held it there in support.

“What are you feeling guilty about?” She asked, voice still calm and sweet. 

He looked over and tried to appreciate her. Logan could see her, hear her, feel her, but he couldn't smell her. He had a long time to get used to having that sense neutered, but he was feeling its absence more than ever right now. Jean was right in front of him and he still couldn't fully greet her, truly take her in, and he never would again. It hurt. It was like she wasn't real, like a dream, not even there at all. 

He watched a knowing smile creep up on her face.

“Go ahead, Logan. I understand.”

She pulled him into a close hug that he accepted gratefully; this habit of his was something he'd never been able to make all of his friends fully understand. He nuzzled his nose as far as he could into her hair and inhaled as deeply as he could, broke it up with shallow sniffs, and inhaled again, trying to draw out as much scent as he could. It wasn't the same, not even close, but it was something . When he closed eyes and focused hard, he could almost pick out her real scent. The one he knew. 

Something familiar floated through. His heart lifted and tears stung his eyes. For just a second, it was like she was really there again. 

He held her head against his face like someone was trying to tear her from him. 

“I'm so sorry, Logan.” Her mouth moved against the crook of his neck. “It can't have been easy, losing your gifts.”

“You don't know the half of it.” He had to force his mind away from the flood of memories that hit him, all of them dancing between sad and pathetic. He was long out of practice of keeping his thoughts guarded around telepaths, so he was glad he caught himself in time. 

Logan blinked his tears away and inhaled sharply as he pulled back. Jean kept her hold on his biceps, so he did the same to her. Her cheeks were dappled with red like she was going to cry too. He figured she probably got caught up in the waves of emotion coming from him. 

“Um…” he broke eye contact and looked everywhere else. “I gotta tell you somethin’.”

She put a hand on his cheek with all the force of a leaf touching the ground to draw his attention back. He wanted to fall to his knees. 

“Anything.”

“I'm with Scott.” He blurted. 

Her hand drew away at the unexpected news. “‘With Scott’, as in…?”

“As in married.”

“Oh.” Her surprise was light-hearted, like he'd told her he was going on a vacation to the Caribbean. “That’s…” she looked down, digesting the information with a mildly puzzled look. 

“I was planning on keeping it to myself for now, but… I can't say anything I want to say if I don't tell you.” he apologized.

“That's what you were feeling guilty about?” she said it like a question, as if she didn't already know the answer from the shift in his emotions.

Her eyes returned to him, worried. He said nothing. 

“You don't have to be. I'm not angry.” she hung her arms around his neck, he moved his around her middle. “How long ago did I… pass away?”

“About, uh… huh.” he ran the math. “Well, around fifteen years ago now.”

“That's a long time.”

“Doesn't always feel like it.”

“I'm-” she laughed. “… to be honest, even though it's strange, I feel like I should be more surprised.”

“Really?” he chuckled along with her.

She shrugged coyly, not about to spill her secrets yet. “I'm more shocked that you're married . You don't do long-term relationships often in our world, Logan. Scott’s different, but… we were together a long time before we got married.”

So they were married. He felt a fresh pang of pain, both for the sake of his alternate self, and at the reminder that if Jean were still alive-...

No. He packed those feelings down as soon as he had them. 

“It was Scott’s idea, actually. Getting married. I didn't care too much either way.”

“Wait, really?” She snickered. “Why?”

“Tax purposes.”

She laughed loudly at that and he joined her. 

“That sounds more like him.”

“It was nice, though.” he reminisced. “Absolutely packed, so many people came out. Probably because they wouldn't believe it without seeing it.” He felt the smile leave his face. He wanted to look away, but couldn't make himself. Their eyes were glued to each other. 

“We… we left a seat for you there. In the front row.” his words came out choked. He cleared his throat past the tightness and tried to keep himself together. “We moved with our lives, but you never left us, Jean. We're only here now because of you.” the tears were falling now, there was no point holding them back, but he squeezed his eyes shut anyway. 

He swallowed hard through shaky breaths. For so many years, he wanted nothing more than to be able to see her again, imagining what he'd say if he did. To let her know how he really felt, properly. 

He had tried to make peace with that being impossible, but here she was. Like nothing had ever happened. He could clear over a decade's worth of regrets.

“You… you changed me for the better.” he was desperately restraining himself through the grief, fighting to keep his body in check long enough to get the words out. His voice was shaking badly. “I just… I just wanted to tell you that. Make sure you knew-”

Warm hands wiped the wetness from his face. He leaned into the touch like his life depended on it. He was pulled back into a hug, and he could feel his shirt become damp where she rested her head. 

“Thank you, Logan.” she whispered. 

He gave her a squeeze. “Make sure Scotty appreciates you. Or I'll kick his ass.”

“You, or our Logan?” she broke a laugh through her tears. 

“Both.” he threatened. “He's dead meat.”

Logan took a moment to breathe, then opened his eyes again as he calmed down a little. Jean's eyes were red and she was holding a tight smile, because the alternative would be letting him see her cry and the two of them breaking down completely. 

She kissed him on the cheek. “Okay. Next time I'm mad at him, I'll come to you.”

“Hey now.” he cautioned. “I get in trouble for that sort of thing.”

They laughed again and she took her hands back. It took Logan a few more seconds before he was able to do the same. 

“I just wish Scott could see you too, before you guys leave.” He took his turn in wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

“We can do that.”

“Really?” he asked hopefully.

“Once it's time to go back, our Scott’s conscience will go back to his body. I can stick around to say goodbye.”

“That would mean so much to him.” He breathed. “Thank you. I know it can't be easy.”

Jean looked down, her smile turning sad for a beat before she composed herself again. “It's not. But it gives me a lot to think about, too.”

Logan reached out and gave her hand a squeeze. 

“We should probably go back, but I… need a few minutes alone.” she said. “We'll be around until this whole situation gets sorted. You and I can talk again, if you need to.”

“I could use some time too.” He agreed, rubbing his face to try to cool it down. “You go on ahead. I'll be out here.”

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah. There's too many damn people in my house.” 

She grinned and squeezed his hand back, then let go. 

-

Scott didn't have to look hard to find the younger Logan. He was out on the front step with a cigar, huffing smoke like it was the fresh air that would poison him. Scott sat next to him, thankfully upwind.

“You might confuse the neighbors out here.” 

“He can just tell ‘em we're long lost brothers or something.” Logan grunted.

“Are you still mad at me, or can we talk?” Scott asked.

Logan took one last deep draw and put the cigar out on the step. Scott figured that was as much of an invitation as any.

“You've been kind of quiet.” said Scott. 

“Right. Normally I can't keep my mouth shut.” he said, bitter and sarcastic.

“Sure seems to be the case whenever you disagree with me.”

Logan didn't say anything. Something was definitely up, he never missed a chance to play fight with him. 

“You worried about catching our guy?” Scott tested.

“I hate waiting around.” he replied and leaned back on his elbows to stretch his legs out.

“I'm surprised you agreed to it.” Scott admitted. “I thought you'd start yelling and run off on your own, or something.”

Logan glanced over at him for the first time, but only for a second. “I'm not stupid. I know this is the best chance we got. Best to take it slow.”

“Then what are you sulking about out here for?” Scott asked impatiently. 

Logan looked at his cigar like he was considering re-lighting it.

Scott knew he was far from the right person to ask Logan about his reaction in the kitchen, but no one else had caught it. He had no idea how to approach the topic without revealing that the older Logan's spouse was him , but he had a feeling that would just complicate the issue. 

He sighed. It wasn't even his business, really. He often liked to tell himself that interpersonal matters were always his business as the leader, but that didn't extend to everything. Certainly not topics as potentially sensitive as a person's sexuality. 

Truthfully, Scott knew he should just leave it alone, and wasn't exactly sure what he was trying to accomplish by bringing it up. He supposed it was possible he just wanted to commiserate. After all, he was technically trying to hide the fact that he was with a man in this universe. More importantly, the man in question was Logan.

“Okay, don't stab me for this.” Scott opened.

“No promises.”

“We both know a lot of the X-Men aren't straight-”

Logan immediately rolled his eyes in an exaggerated gesture and shuffled around in irritation. He was like a pouty teenager whose parents were confronting him about bad grades.

“That's not the problem.” he complained. 

“Then what is?” Scott nagged.

He muttered a fed up oh my god under his breath. “That's not the whole problem.”

“And you're not going to tell me the whole problem?” 

“No. I'm not.” Logan replied stubbornly. 

“Then,” Scott sighed. “Just talk to me about part of the problem.”

“Why the hell do you even care?” he snapped.

“Because I'm nosy.” he deflected. “Why do you care? Since when does something like this bother you? At all? ”

“It ain’t nobody’s fuckin’ business. It sure as hell ain't yours. And that's the ‘part of the problem’.” he snarled. 

“Logan, how many times have I walked in on you with someone in the danger room? Or the showers? Or the kitchen, or the garden, or the-”

“I get it.”

“I don't think you do, to be honest, but go on.”

“It's different.” he insisted.

“Because it's about men?”

Logan sat up straight and raised his voice, swinging himself in front of Scott for his usual no-personal-space confrontation.  “Because it-”

But he cut himself off from whatever tirade he was about to go on and jerked his head away in the other direction, leaving Scott to stare at the back of his head. Then he stood up suddenly and jammed his hands in his pockets. 

“It’s nothing.” he said flatly, repressing his anger, and turning to face the other way.

Scott was fed up with his juvenile reactions. Something was up, Logan didn't usually held himself back like this.

“Logan-” 

“I'm going to go help with dinner. Why don't you go run off and play with your new friend?”

“Who- wait, do you mean the other Logan?” he laughed dryly.

“Who else would I mean?” he sneered but also somehow managed to sound exasperated, throwing him a look like Scott was the one being silly here. 

“What are you, jealous? ” Scott mocked with incredulity. 

Logan swiveled his head away with a tut of his teeth. A beat passed.

“Wait, for real ?” he turned around towards him rapidly, barely able to contain his excitement, and fought himself not to laugh in Logan's face outright. 

Logan shook his head with a stubborn sigh and strode off towards the house, apparently done with the conversation. 

Scott would readily admit that was probably not the main reason Logan was acting that way, and his reaction probably robbed him of any chance of finding out what that was. But he didn't care, because it was too funny. 

Logan always had some kind of issue with his alternate selves. It reminded him of when Logan would run into Sabertooth; it was like there was some sort of universal, god-given directive to kill on sight. They rarely had any kind of productive conversation with two Wolverines in the room, because inevitably one the two would start arguing about nothing and escalate immediately into trying to tear each other apart. Hank had joked that it was because wolverines are a highly territorial species. 

All things considered, Logan had shown remarkable restraint towards this new one, which probably had everything to do with the fact he had no healing factor. If a little bit of classic Logan jealousy was all Scott had to worry about, they'd be fine.