Wade hadn't thought much of the bartender at Hellhouse; it was just another bar full of mercenaries and money. Sure, the dead pool was a fun way to make some extra cash, and calling the bar Sister Margaret's was a sure way to annoy Weasel, who Wade later learned was the owner.
As Hellhouse started to pick up popularity, it started to draw new lines in the sand and hold higher expectations for its patrons. Stopped accepting or handing out jobs involving hurting kids; higher rewards for jobs with a good sob story attached.
Hellhouse grew more in popularity as Weasel started dealing anything he could get his hands on. Wade started pressuring the more volatile mercenaries out of town. If Weasel got killed, Wade would have to find a new reliable arms dealer, so he might as well help keep the riffraff out.
Weasel tolerated Wade more than any other bar did, letting him go weeks without paying his tab and not kicking him out for it. Wade liked to test these boundaries, ordering blowjobs and starting fights that destroyed furniture.
Weasel compared him to a toddler sometimes, holding eye contact while he sowed the seeds of chaos and property damage. Sometimes Wade was feeling extra pissy and found himself seconds away from cutting his losses and killing the bartender before deciding he could deal with the snarky remarks and barbed comments if he didn't have to track down a new dealer, putting his weapon away, or just changing targets as Weasel backpedaled an acceptable amount.
Things changed the day that fuckstain "Skip" had strutted in like he owned the place. Wade didn't like how he looked or how Weasel's whole attention snapped to him the moment he'd walked in. Wade's fingers itched with the want to blow the trespassers brains out, but he held back, curious about what a man had to do to get kicked out of Hellhouse before he'd ever entered- because Wade would know if he'd been active here before.
"Wade." Wade's attention snaps away from the interloper and to the bartender at the sound of his name. The bar was silent as everyone held their breath waiting. "I'll clear your tab completely at the end of the shift tonight if you kill this fuck-" he doesn't have to finish the sentence; that was all the permission Wade needed. (Something inside of him crowed at the chance to paint Hellhouse with blood and still get a drink afterward.)
He didn't drink himself into a coma with the promise of free information at the end of the night. He doesn't care why the man, "Skip," needed to die, but if someone had done something to piss off a reliable dealer like Weasel- who doesn't usually throw his weight around like he could- then Wade wants to know what it was.
Wade is sitting on the bar, sipping a whiskey with the bottle of whipped cream on the counter next to him, when Weasel reappears from his apartment. Wade goes to comment about Weasel wanting to keep the body to play with when he spots the tiny little boy that follows half a step behind Weasel. Messy brown hair and watery Bambi eyes that make Wade's conscious shudder.
The boy stares at "Skip's" body; as tears start to fall down his face, he runs over and kicks it in the arm. "Fuck you." Wade lets out a burst of laughter and jumps off the counter. "You got that right, little man. Did this fucker hurt you?" His heart thumps in his chest at what the dead man could've done to this little boy.
The child flinches as he notices Wade for the first time and runs over to hide behind Weasel's leg. Wade motions towards the child with a raised eyebrow while looking at Weasel for an answer.
"Peter this is my best friend-" Wade chokes for a second as what? (He said, best friend- family?) "Wade, he's the one who took care of Skip for us. Wade, this is my nephew, Peter. That motherfucker on the floor felt he deserved to touch him, and the courts felt they couldn't take the word of a traumatized nine-year-old." Wade stares at Weasel when he finishes talking, his brain catching up to what he had hoped hadn't happened. He pulls out his gun and unloads two more bullets into the dead body, making Peter flinch, Weasel's hand snapping down to cover the child's body protectively.
Peter peeks out at Wade after the shots stop echoing. "Nice to meet you, Mister Wade. Thank you for helping me be safe from Skip."
Wade melts "Awhhh, little petey-pie is so adorable!!"
Things go well for a while (never for long) and Wade leaps into his new friendship with both feet. (He has a family now!)
Wade fell in love with the most heart-stopping woman he'd ever met, getting swept up in romance and love. He'd planned to introduce her to Ferret (hey! If Peter was going to look like a baby weasel, he was going to be named like a baby Weasel!) On his next birthday, he'd gotten the diagnosis.
Everything was a blur from there, and by the time he'd gotten his feet back on the ground, he had a new slew of people to kill and traumatic shit to unpack, and [AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENAAA BRR BRR BUH BRR] his mind just won't shut up!
Nearly a year after Wade left, he's back in Hellhouse, looking for something, anything familiar. He catches Weasel's eye from the back of the room and ducks his head to get him to come over.
They're snapping quips at each other in their way, and it's familiar in an unfamiliar way, and Wade is seconds from cutting his losses when he learns that Vanessa had quit and Weasel had let her go and hadn't even bothered to keep an eye out for her, and-
The argument ended with Wade's gun pointed at Weasel's forehead in an achingly wrong way [my best friend- family!] and Weasel just stares at Wade and waits.
[shot in the heart- AND YOU'RE TO BLAME-]
[that's his head dumbass-]
[YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME- fuck you]
[why are we shooting this guy? Aren't we friends?]
[it would be fun though- you shoudl shoot him!]
[...]
[SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT- wait]
[SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS-]
And then a phone rings out. It's a non-default ringtone [this guy has custom ringtones?] and that makes Wade think about why Weasel would have- he stalls as he remembers-"Ferret?"
Weasel pulls out his phone in very slow movements, flipping it open and accepting the call. "Uncle Weasel?" Comes a familiar voice-
"Hey Ferret, how was your movie? Lame, I hope." Weasel's voice trembles.
[why'd the child not answer? Is this a setup? Should we kill them? Cops?? A WIRE??]
"Hey Ferret, you remember the mugger two months ago?" Wade is staring at the phone, gun lowered slightly in his hands.
"Did you get shot again?! Are you okay? Do you need me to come help?" Comes Ferret's worried voice [Weasel got shot?]
"No no." He pauses, staring at Wade. "Just got reminded of it. Listen, kid, Wade's resurfaced, and he's in a bit of a rough spot right now-" Wade flinches back by a minuscule amount, gun lifted back up again as he now looks at Weasel. "So you should stay with your friend for the night."
There's silence; Wade's hands shake. "You would tell me if Uncle Wade shot you, right? I-I I'm not ready to lose my family again." Ferret's voice is quiet and cracking.
[scared baby-boo?]
[like we'd ever actually shoot the Wheezer]
[he knwos that! We'venever given him reason to think that!]
[uncle Wade? that's new...]
Wade has thrown the gun down and scowled. "That's just rude, kid. Straight blackmail." Ferret laughs at Wade's response. "How'd you know it was on speaker?"
"It's after hours; Uncle Weasel only ever answers if he's alone or with you, and he puts it on speaker because he has shit hearing and doesn't want to admit it." Comes Ferret's snarky voice. "You still owe me my birthday present from last year. You don't get to break a promise like that and expect to be forgiven just because you've returned from the dead."
Wade calms, that's right, Weasel and Ferret are his family.