Chapter 3
At the sound of the doorbell, Steve stops reading his newest parenting book, his attention and excitement now turning toward the visit from his friends. He had planned a day for him and Bucky to go baby shopping while Tony and Sam figured out the furniture for the nursery. They still had plenty of time before the baby arrived, but Steve wanted to get a head start and be prepared.
“I got it!” He calls out, making sure Tony could hear him from the kitchen.
Tony pokes his head out anyway. “Are you sure? I’m already up and you looked cozy.”
Steve rolls his eyes and rises to his feet, one hand falling to his belly, the bump something he hasn’t been able to stop touching since he discovered it one morning. It’s still on the small side, but he’s starting to look pregnant, or at least like he had a big breakfast. Tony already loves teasing him about losing his abs.
“I think I can manage,” Steve replies as he makes his way over to the door.
He opens it and smiles at the sight of his friends. Bucky smiles back, though it’s not as bright and cheerful as Sam’s. Steve takes a second to look over Bucky, taking in the dark circles under his eyes and how pale he looks. His eyes drift lower, catching sight of the bump hidden beneath Bucky’s t-shirt.
“Sorry we’re late,” Sam apologizes and Steve looks over at him, putting on another smile.
“Don’t worry about it.” Steve waves them off and steps to the side to allow them in. “I’m in no rush. Though I think Tony is ready to start building.”
“Is he going to help or just boss me around?” Sam asks, one brow raising.
“Boss you around,” Tony says, stepping into the living room. “I’m kidding. I’m not afraid to get my hands a little dirty.”
“Please don’t do something stupid like nail your hand to the wood.” Steve frowns.
“Honey, you have so little faith in me. I can build a crib with my eyes closed.”
Bucky leans in closer to Sam. “Twenty-bucks he hammers his finger within the first five minutes.”
Sam hums. “Fifty in two?”
“Deal.”
“Please don’t jinx him,” Steve begs. “I need everything to go smoothly.”
“Relax,” Tony assures. “Wilson and I got this. Now you two preggers go have fun.”
Bucky frowns. “Preggers?”
“Just ignore him. That’s what I do,” Steve says.
“Does it work?” Sam asks.
“Sometimes,” Steve replies, then he pats Bucky on the shoulder. “You ready?”
Bucky nods.
Steve smiles. “Great.”
Their first stop is a cute little baby boutique Steve had seen during a drive through the city with Tony. This had been before they let anyone know that they were expecting, and Steve couldn’t wait to one day visit the shop. The plan had been to be with Tony, but now that he knows his best friend is expecting and due around the same time as him, he feels that having Bucky tag along would be the best choice. It feels like ages since it’s just been the two of them.
“How are you holding up?” Steve asks as they cruise through the city. It’s noisy and the roads are congested, but none of that seems to matter. Ever since he found he’s expecting, all of his attention and happiness has been focused on the baby.
Bucky doesn’t turn his head away from the window when he replies. “Tired, mostly. You?”
“It depends. I feel like now since I’m finally in the second trimester it’s become a little easier. Those first few months were a nightmare. I couldn’t keep anything down.”
“Yeah.”
Steve steals a glance at Bucky, a deep frown appearing over his face. “Buck, you okay?”
This time Bucky looks at him. “No. To be honest with you…this has been hell. I don’t know how you do it.”
“Do what?”
“This.” Bucky waves his hand around the car. “Even the other day you went out for a run. I have no energy, Steve. This kid is sucking me dry.”
Steve’s frown deepens. “Have you talked to your doctor?”
“Yeah. Apparently this is normal. I don’t see how when I feel like I’m going to fall over all the time.”
“We don’t have to do this. We can go home.”
“No.” Bucky shakes his head. “You wanted to do this and…come on, please? I don’t mean to ruin it. Honest.”
“You’re not ruining it,” Steve says. They pull up the front of the store and he kills the ignition. “Buck, be honest with me. If you can’t do this.”
“I can.” Bucky grits out. “I wish everyone would stop acting like I can’t.”
“I never said—”
“Forget it.” Bucky turns away and gets out of the car.
Steve heaves out a sigh, then he follows after him.
The store is cozy and inviting, with minimalistic décor and pops of playful color. The boutique offers everything from stylish baby clothes made from eco-friendly materials to luxurious swaddle blankets and elegant nursery décor. It’s not something Steve is used to considering he grew up with barely anything, but he enjoys himself as he inspects each shelf and baby item.
Bucky wanders behind him, his eyes cast down as he walks. Steve doesn’t pry, not at first, and instead tries to show off cute little outfits and blankets.
“I think my old blanket is in storage. Tony managed to get it out of the museum,” Steve says.
Bucky nods, but says nothing. He does end up browsing one of the racks, gently going through each sparkly dress. “Do you know what you’re having?” he asks.
“Not yet,” Steve replies. “I think we can find out in a couple of weeks. Tony’s sure it’s a boy.”
“Sam thinks boy too but…”
Steve catches the way Bucky studies the yellow dress. “You think it’s a girl?”
Bucky looks over at Steve. “Maybe. Aren’t we supposed to tell?”
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
Bucky puts the dress back and moves to another part of the store. Steve watches as he goes, frowning to himself. He gives him a few minutes of being alone before he follows after him and demands what’s going on.
“You gonna tell me what’s bothering you?”
“‘M fine.”
“Liar. Come on, Buck. You can talk to me. We’re going through the same thing here.”
“Not really. I’m sure your body isn’t trying to harm the baby.”
Steve blinks. “What?”
“Forget it.” Bucky turns to walk away, but Steve is faster and he grabs his arm, forcing him to stay.
“Is something wrong with the baby?” Steve asks, his tone full of concern. He never once considered that Bucky would be dealing with something like that. His own pregnancy had been progressing smoothly and he assumed it would be the same for Bucky.
“The baby’s fine,” Bucky replies. “But I don’t know how long that’s going to last. You know what I am.”
“I do. You’re a strong, incredible person. I know for a fact you’re going to be a wonderful father too.”
“What if you’re wrong? I only know how to do one thing and if this baby dies because of me…” Bucky trails off, his voice cracking slightly and eyes filling with tears.
“That’s not going to happen. You’re healing and not that person anymore. You’d never hurt your own child.”
“I’m afraid I will. I don’t think I’m cut out for this, Steve.”
Steve sighs and pulls Bucky into his arms. “You are,” he says softly. “Whatever you’re going through…you’re not alone.”
After a few minutes, they pull apart. They share a smile, and though Bucky’s doesn’t reach his eyes, the smile, even small, is a sign something is beginning to shift.