James "Bucky" Barnes
“Hey, Bucky, you got the last ones?” sounded from the earpiece in Bucky’s ear. Sam’s voice made him aware of the last three Hydra agents that were sneaking around the corner. In one swift motion, Bucky shot three quick shots through the first one while delivering a harsh shove of his foot into the second one. Both bodies fell against the floor with a satisfying thud.
The last one was standing at the end of the hall, holding some kind of taser-sword looking thingamagiggy. Bucky only rolled his eyes at the guy’s useless bravery. He was like 30 centimeters smaller than Bucky, barely able to hold the sword-taser upright. His whole body was trembling with fear as the Winter Solider closed in on him menacingly. Towering over him, Bucky lightly pushed the taser-sword out of his hand, listening to it slide across the floor without taking his eyes of the agent.
On a closer look, the boy barely seemed of age. His mousy brown hair was tousled, big, green eyes staring up at Bucky, swimming - drowning - in fear. The tremble had only strengthened, the wall behind him being the only reason he was still standing.
“Please don’t hurt me.” a thin voice broke the silence, a plead barely audible, “I-I never wanted t-this, I-”, the boy choked on his breath, thick tears streaming down his cheeks as his fists clasped together tightly, “they forced me to work for them. Please.”
Suddenly, Bucky’s earpiece fizzled to life. “What’s taking so long, Manchurian Canditate? We gotta get up and get out of this place” Tony’s voice announced loudly. Bucky lifted his gaze from the boy, tightened his grip on the gun before pressing the earpiece to answer.
“Won’t be long. Be patient, Iron Man.” he grumbled an answer, hearing Natasha tease Tony, but his attention had turned back to the shivering boy.
“Listen here, kid. And you listen good. No matter what happens after today, Hydra’s gonna be on the lookout for you. You have three choices. Option one, you run, escape this facility, most likely get caught and killed.” Bucky raises one metal finger in the air, leaning closer to the guy. “Option two, you run now, I shoot and kill you before Hydra gets the chance to.” he deadpans, hearing the catch in the brownhaired boy’s already unsteady breathing.
“Or, option three, you come with me and the group, we take you to Fury and he sets you up as an agent for us under the training of Maria Hill.” Bucky raises his third finger, glancing back at the boy. A weak nod of his head is all it takes for Bucky to roughly grab around the boy’s arm, lifting his feet of the ground and dragging his limp body towards were Tony was stood, guarding the entrance.
Dropping the boy off in front of Tony, almost pushing him into the ground with a gumbled ‘he’s going to Fury. Take care of him’ before disappearing out onto the grass. With quick steps, he walked quickly towards the jet parked in the middle. The metal stairs made a low sound against his boots as he entered the jet. As soon as the cool inside met his skin, it was like a flip switched. Bucky’s throat tightened up, making it hard for him to speak. He had to concentrate to get the words out.
“Where is Natasha? I need Natasha.” he spoke quickly. Lowly. Sternly. Almost dangerously.
If Sam was any dumber than he already was, he wouldn’t have noticed the tiny tremble that affected the soldiers normaly steady voice. Neither would he have noticed how Bucky’s chest was moving so quickly up and down that it was a wonder he had even gotten any words out.
Bucky himself felt his entire world spin of his axis. He knew that he’d taken a risk when he joined in on this mission, his first Hydra mission. Steve had warned him, told him to be careful with a reassuring pat on his back. Bucky never suspected that he’d be this troubled with it.
His sight was so foggy he could barely see a foot in front of him, his feet feeling like they were turned upside down.
“I-I need Nata- Natasha.” he choked out, springing a hand out to lean on the table to hold himself up. The wood croaked under his weigh, in entirety leaned against it. Sam scrabbled up towards him to lend a hand, but was shoved to the side weakly. Bucky whispered gruffly out again, calling the redhead’s name.
Sam started at him with widened eyes, confusion apparent in his gaze, but he nodded quickly, gesturing towards the data room. The room that one person per mission used as the guide, hacking into systems if needed and opening doors. It had been Natasha’s turn in the rotation this time.
Bucky stumbled his way towards the steel door, grabbing the frame of the door exiting the main room a bit to harsh, denting it in the form of a hand. Whelp. Too bad. The soldier barely had his thoughts together. When he entered the room and slammed the door closed behind him, he heard a yelp, belonging to the widow.
“Bucky? Are you-” was all she could get out before Bucky slumped to the ground. Luckily, Natasha had reflexes like a cat, catching under his arms, letting his body rest against hers as she lowered the brunette to the ground.
“Woah, big guy, you’re fine. Breathe, Bucks, come on.” Natasha panted as she guided him to sit against the door, preventing someone from entering as well as setting Bucky up.
The hitched breaths that left Bucky’s open mouth were short and felt like someone stomped a boot on his chest with every single one drawn. His eyes were rolling backwards, arms and legs tense against the cold steel. He could barely feel the warm hands against his body, but the sensation was there as they traveled over his feet toward his torso, pressing against his chest before moving to his cheeks, holding his head up.
A dark shadow was slewn across his eyes, making them classy and distant. Instantly, he was thrown back to when he was mind controlled, flashbacks of the laboratory, of Zola, of falling out of the train, of Steve, crossed him mind in a span of a few seconds. The sight of the blonde made his breath calm a second, but it quickly spun out of control again as Bucky watched Zola lean over his body, unable to move it, only forced to watch as Zola’s mouth curled into an evil smile.
When Zola’s dry lips opened to speak, he heard Natasha’s voice.
“Come on, Bucky. You can do it. I’m here. You’re good. Come on”, she spoke, warm palms encasing his cold hand. Gently, she squeezed his hand.
“Squeeze back if you can hear me, big guy. Come on” the redhead encouraged softly.
The flashed of his life blurred into the real world, mixing in with the words of Natasha. Bucky wanted to, he really did, but it was so hard to break through, to resist letting the thoughts get to his head, let his past wrap around the present.
No. He had to do this.
Relaxing his entire body, he tried to let all his thoughts direct towards the warm hand in his. Pushing the flashes out, forcing the closed up feeling in his throat to disappear. Slowly, his sight returned, the tension in his body faded out, all except the tight hold he had on Natasha’s hand.
The smirk on her face that met Bucky’s was so comforting, it almost made tears spring to his eyes. The gentle look in the widow’s green eyes as her thumb rubbed against the top of his hand.
“Welcome to reality, Buchanan.” Natasha chuckled warmly, brushing her other hand against his, both of her hands now holding around his. It felt like their hands was the only thing keeping Bucky grounded.
“What happened in there that made you react to strongly?” she asked, more soft in her voice this time. A patient, but concerned look was drawn across her features as she awaited an answer.
Bucky took a deep breath, gathering his thoughts before answering with a shaky voice, “There..There was a kid. A kid agent. He had this broken look in his eyes, like he was in a completely different headspace. Almost at another planet.” he chuckled at himself, at how silly that sounded. Natasha squeezed his hand again, pulling his attention back to her.
“Did he… Did he remind you of yourself? Was that was set it off?” the redhead asked, adjusting from a squat to sit down on her bottom. Natasha didn’t let go of Bucky’s hand, not even for a second. The soldier was thankful for that. He would’ve probably fallen back into another attack if she did.
“I guess that’s what I reacted to. This being my first mission too… Steve’s never going to let me go on another one. All for a stupid kid. All because I’m not strong enough.” Bucky grumbled, clutching his knee with the metal arm. The guilt was borrowed deep into his chest, like a rock, weighing down his feeling.
“Hey now, lets not think like that. The first time I was on a mission involving kidnapped kids I ran away from the mission and Clint, hiding inside the bathroom of an icecream bar for seven hours. They had a hard time tracking me down, to say the least” Natasha chuckled, fingers scratching lightly at Bucky’s skin.
She gave him a reassuring smile. “I’m no different than you. My breath still catches at any missions similar to the Red Room. I’ve just had more experience. It takes time. It doesn’t matter how strong you are.” The widow soothed a hand over his skin gently, “And, by the way, on Sam’s first mission, he stumbled in front of all our enemies, and fainted on the spot. They all started laughing at him. God, he was embarrassed” Natasha chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.
Bucky let an easy smile reach his lips at the story. He was going to need to apologise to Sam for that shove.
Finally, the racing thoughts had calmed down, his brain giving him a pause with Natasha’s touch warming his soul. Gently, he grabbed Natasha’s hand, pulling her into his body and embracing her. Bucky pressed her into him, burying his nose into her neck, breathing in the scent that belonged to Natasha.
When they both stood up, the redhead pulling him up and opening the door for him with a smile and a goodbye, Bucky realised how thankful he was that he had her. Someone that had been in at least remotely in the same situation as him.
-
Later, when the group had flown back to the compound and the kid from Hydra (his name revealed to be Marco) was safely placed in the hands of Maria, Bucky decided it was time to find Sam.
The soldier found his room, snuck into it, finding Sam leaning against his desk, brows furrowed over some paperwork.
An apology was delivered, and soon, the two boys had their arms surrounding each other, and Bucky would be a liar if he said it didn’t feel good to have Sam in his arms.