Chapter 1
Therese ascended the steps of the boarding staircase up to the Pan Am stewardess waiting to greet her first-class passengers. Therese looked over her shoulder for a quick glimpse of Carol. She knew Carol was just two steps away because she could smell a whiff of Channel No. 5 she was never without; she just wanted a glimpse. There would never be enough glimpses or lingering looks. Carol saw the wisp of a smile on Therese’s lips. Someone else might have thought it was a passing gesture of friendship but that meant they hadn’t seen Therese’s eyes and had no knowledge of the just below the radar flares that passed between them in public.
Only Carol knew the intensity her lover felt and showed only to her. Only Carol knew the embers that constantly smoldered in Therese’s petite frame. Only Carol knew Therese’s capacity for spontaneous incendiary moments that could last until Carol wasn’t sure she would survive. This fawn like Bellissima was beguiling and timid to the rest of the world but to Carol she was adoration and a barely tamped down fire.
They were on their way to Italy, specifically Milan, for their first European adventure. The Fashion Week was close enough to Therese’s birthday to qualify as an extravagant gift. Carol found that was what she wanted to do all the time – give Therese gifts. Some of it was based in guilt for her reprehensible behavior that New Year’s Day and the following months a year ago. Some of it was because she adored Therese so much, she had to do something, anything, to find ways to express what she had never felt before.
She had daydreamed of love as a teen. It was all poems and flowers and chaste kisses and romance. She had no notion of life altering passion. Her dating and finally marriage to Harge convinced her that her ideas had been nothing but a slightly older version of Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty. Abby opened her eyes to lust but nothing more. She soon realized the emptiness she felt would not be filled with Abby’s sexual prowess. She wondered if romance and passion were even real. When she finally realized she didn’t know what she wanted – other than to divorce Harge – her eyes and heart were captured across a noisy, hectic department store floor by Therese.
The stunningly beautiful, tall blond stewardess took a passing glance at Therese’s ticket. “Welcome to Pan Am, Miss Belvet.”
“Belivet.”
“Oh, so sorry. My mistake…Miss Theresa Belivet.”
“Therese Belivet.”
“I’m not getting off to a very good start here, am I? I promise you I’ll do my best to give you nothing but stellar service during your flight. By the way, that’s a lovely name.”
Carol watched as the gorgeous stewardess placed her hand on the small of Therese’s back and leaned in close to check her seat assignment. How dare she touch Therese at all, much less one of Carol’s favorite places. Every inch of Therese’s body was a masterpiece of ivory curves and lines, but Carol was particularly fond of the dip and sway that took her from the planes of Therese’s back to the kissable, nibbleable mounds.
Carol immediately stiffened her back and bristled as she watched Therese’s subtle pullback. Carol was new to the world of loving another woman – Abby was her only conduit by way of tales of her wild escapades – but she knew immediately that the stewardess was on a search expedition for possible layover activities. It was all she could do to not unsheathe her claws, swipe across the stewardess’ body, and leave her looking down at the slivers falling to the ground like one of Rindy’s Saturday morning cartoons.
The stewardess ran out of reasons to assist Therese and turned to Carol. She looked at Carol’s ticket and then back to Carol. She wilted perceptibly.
“Miss Aird, you will be sitting here, next to Miss Belivet.”
“We better be since we’re traveling together, and I’d have my travel agent’s head on a platter if we weren’t.”
The stewardess had already wilted, now she took a step back. It was then she noticed their rings.
During the Thanksgiving holiday, Carol awoke one morning to see Therese lying on her back, prayer hands in front of her face, gently tapping her fingertips together.
“I can see the wheels turning, Miss Belivet. What’s got your brow so furrowed?”
Therese turned to look at Carol with a smile that lit up her whole face. She wondered if the Christmas morning feeling would ever go away. To think that she got to wake up every morning and see Carol next to her. She turned and scrunched into her lover’s arms.
“I’ve been thinking…”.
“Yes?”
“Maybe we could get rings.”
Carol pulled back and looked at Therese curiously.
“I know we can’t get matching rings or wear them on the marriage finger – or whatever it’s called. I’m thinking we could design something that would tell us that we’re together but nobody else would figure that out.”
Therese paused, suddenly realizing this was more important to her than she had realized. Carol’s eyes began to brim with tears, and she buried her face in Therese’s neck. Therese wrapped her up tightly and began to rock her gently.
“Are you okay? Have I said something wrong?”
“No. No, of course not darling. I’m just so overwhelmed when I see that you love me like I love you.”
Carol lifted her head and looked at Therese’s face. She took in her flawless skin, perfectly arched eyebrows, lips that matched hers exactly for kisses, and those eyes. Carol could hardly bear to look Therese in the eye sometimes because of the vulnerability she saw there. She had seen it in Waterloo and now every day in their apartment. Therese had grown more and more confident in expressing her love through passion but her day in and day out trust in Carol was almost childlike in its purity. It was like a precious jewel…so beautiful and such an awesome responsibility.
They found a jeweler through Abby who didn’t care who the customer was as long as the money was good. Carol’s ring would be a solitaire emerald to match Therese’s eyes. Therese insisted her ring would be a blue sapphire stone set into a band. Both rings’ stones would be surrounded by small diamonds. When Carol protested that her eyes were gray and not blue, Therese said the next time they made love she would have her hand mirror on her bedside table to settle that discussion.
These were the rings – one on a right-hand ring finger and one on a right-hand middle finger – the stewardess saw and envied. She joined her co stewardess in the galley.
“That was intense. I could feel the pushback from here.”
“Yes, it’s a real shame. Milan is going to be a lonely city for me this time around.”
“Ha don’t try that ‘pitiful Patty’ with me. You’ll have something sorted before you leave the airport.”
“Patty” smiled and agreed while thinking what it must be like to wear those rings. Her loneliness was barely assuaged by travel and one-night stands. No need to tap into her late-night fears of a bleak, desolate future.
The plane reached its cruising altitude, and all the emergency instructions were complete. Carol tipped her champagne glass to Therese.
“Happy birthday, darling.”
Therese clinked her glass with Carol’s and smiled. After a sip, she frowned slightly and clearly became quite serious. She looked around to make sure the other passengers were occupied then leaned in close to Carol.
“Do you think that stewardess was acting strangely?”
What Carol wanted to say was “Damn right she was acting strangely! She was making moves on you like an alley cat on a mouse.” What she did instead was remember where they were and try to rein in her incensed reaction.
“What do you mean?”
“It felt so strange when she touched my back and moved close to me. And she kept going on about my name instead of paying attention to you and the other passengers waiting to board.”
Carol couldn’t contain her irritation any longer.
“Darling, she was flirting outrageously with you. I was ready to claw her to shreds.”
Therese looked at Carol incredulously then nearly spit out her sip of champagne. She dabbled her chin for dribbles then gave a low giggle.
“You’re jealous.”
“Well, of course I am. That…that…” Carol spluttered until she saw the Cheshire grin spreading across Therese’s face.
“You’re jealous. That’s so cute…and ridiculous. I could kiss you silly right now but I’m going to have to wait at least until tomorrow when we’re in our hotel room.”
A familiar cloud passed briefly over each of their faces. They knew if one of them was a man they could cuddle and kiss and all the world would be happy for the young lovers on their honeymoon; but they quickly sent the cloud on its way. They had already learned to cherish the times they could and not tarnish the rest with pointless and draining moments of “life’s not fair.” They both saw the flirtatious stewardess at the same time as she was serving other passengers.
“Do you think she’s running from or chasing?”
“I don’t know darling, but I do know for sure she doesn’t have what we do, and she wants it.”
“Do you think she’s lonely?”
“Yes.”
Therese looked at Carol and shivered a bit. “I remember that loneliness but never again, right?”
Carol reached over and tapped the stone in Therese’s ring. “Never again.”