Prologue!
How did they meet? Wade…. Honestly does not fucking know, he just knows that one moment he was as single as a chimichanga and the next moment he was flirting and dating a nuclear skeleton doctor.
Was that concerning? Maybe but like it’s hot… maybe that shouldn’t be his main reason? Oh well.
its not like it was just hotness factor I mean who doesn’t like a Flaming touch starved skeleton with a love and flare for theatrics!
Docter Thesaurus Phurries Phospersin purpose furnace Phospheris pherious phosphorous Phosphorus! Was- no is totally nuclear! Meaning that every time they kiss (or actually wade kisses and he just sort of stands there awkwardly because how the fuck do skeletons kiss? [A/n: don’t think about it]) Wades skin gets burnt off! Meaning that his new boyfriend actively kills him by accident every time! And boy does he love it!
Is it extremely painful? Yeah! Has it succeeded in his death? No! But also it wouldn’t be worth a boyfriend if his flesh wasn't getting absolutely destroyed just from gay kissing!
Is it weird that his lover is technically a skeleton? Absolutely not Wade has dated weirder!
Like that giant yellow alien that he married.
or death herself.
Or the daughter of the devil.
or Mercedes or whatever her name was that was set up to be his wife and blah blah blah
or- okay maybe he should stop now, while his love life is very interesting and obvious Hot goss it’s not for strangers- oh who is he kidding of course it’s for strangers!
But not right now while he’s not drunk [A/n:enough] woah woah woah hey! Author come on im not drunk! [A/N:Yet] are you foreshadowing?! Seriously?! Right in front of my story?! [A/n: yes] below the belt author! Below the belt!
anyway here he was stormpeding on the x manor in order to talk to rouge and gambit and maybe ol’snikts for the hell of it but for relationship advice. I mean wade loves his partner but how the fuck do you have someone get over their fear of touch while their also touch starved?! Wades a big clinger but he can’t cling if his boyfriend who he loves very much gets disturbed every time wade tries to touch him or hug him and starts searing his own flesh off toastily like a human steak!
like yum oh wait no actually cannibalism but wade can’t help it if he’s such a snack!
either way here he was now entering the manor/school/prison or whatever of good old Mr.Clean with a holocaust beam!
This could totally not go wrong right?