Chapter 2
Dick walks briskly into the Batcave’s medical lab and heaves a dramatic whine of exasperation.
“You jerk!” Dick says with an accusing finger pointed at Jason. “Do you have any idea what it's like to pop by your brother's place, walk in on Kryptonian clonecestuous bondage and NOT GET YOUR COOKING??!!!”
Jason glares daggers at him. “You aren't getting my cooking for a month, dickface!” Jason growls.
“I begged them to heat vision my eyes out of my head!” Dick continues. “Superboy was hung upsidedown by his ankles wearing a blue Kryptonite dog collar while Match used him as a literal punching bag! I came in the window thinking you were just working out just in time to see Kon unload all over both of them!”
Kaine grins in pure amusement. “Match asked to borrow one of your shocksticks, didn't he?”
“BOTH OF THEM!!” Dick whines at a shout.
“SHUT UP!!” Jason screams, getting up from the computer hub at his full, intimidating height. “You knew, didn't you?! You knew who my birth father really was this whole time!”
Dick slumps into a confused expression that can only be called befuddled. “Huh?”
Jason nearly decks him, visibly restraining himself, and Kaine jumps to his side, gripping his wrist hard in a warning. Though Kaine, in this situation, is siding with Jason and would normally take satisfaction from Dick getting his lights punched out, he's well aware that Jason doesn't know his own strength yet and it would most likely be deadly.
Jason thumps Dick hard in the chest with his other hand and says, “You've seen my genetic profile. I used your login to access my records because the ones under my login are fake!”
“What do you mean they're fake?”
“I mean my real DNA has different results than the records my login can access! I mean you knew I'm HALF-KRYPTONIAN!!” Jason bellows.
Dick starts laughing his ass off, and Kaine has to use the adhesive pads of his hands to hold Jason back.
“You? Kryptonian?! The hell are you talking about??!”
Dick continues to laugh until he sees the red glow in Jason's eyes. Kaine feels it a moment before the heat vision strikes, tackling Dick to the ground as two laser-red streams erupt from Jason's eyes and burn through the wall as Jason screams in pain from immediately covering his eyes with his palms before he thinks to close them.
“You’re lucky, asswipe,” Kaine hisses at Dick. Then he gets up and hugs Jason until his eyelids stop glowing then holds his shoulders until Jason’s breathing evens out. “You okay?” Kaine asks, concern saturating his voice as he examines the quickly healing third-degree burns on Jason's hands.
“I'll be fine,” Jason grumbles as he lies down on the exam table. This is his first manifestation of heat vision and if stress is causing his new powers to go crazy, he needs to keep from looking at anyone while he calms himself down.
He can hear Dick asking Kaine questions about his current condition and if X-Kryptonite radiation was involved while they go over the medical records and the lab results Jason got about twenty minutes ago that led them to realizing his previous genome test results were fake.
He tries to tune it out and practice his breathing. If his powers weren't an issue, he'd say Kon's name, tell Dick to beat it and get a stress-relieving blowjob – even if Kon is his half-brother.
…Which means Match is too….
Fuck.
Jason isn't thrilled that he's got another side of his family that's all screwed up like the Bats are. At least he's getting some life-saving powers out of it. Plus, they aren't nearly as screwed up as the Bats, even with Kara's hatred of clones, Jon spending his teenage years being raised and abused by Ultraman – who he's still sleeping with – Kon being a mindfucked experiment then promptly abandoned by his fathers, everything about Match, and Clark semi-regularly cheating on his wife with a man who tries to kill him more often than not.
What the fuck is Thanksgiving going to be like…? he asks himself before deciding he's just going to kidnap Kaine and his brothers and spend Thanksgiving in Hawaii.