Illyana walked through the halls of Xavier’s large mansion, hesitantly greeting some of the mutants she passed. She dug her fingers into the soft but sturdy fabric of her T-shirt while biting dead pieces of skin off her lip nervously. Come on, you can do this. You stayed in limbo for years, youcan stay at a school full of people who don’t want to hurt you. As she felt the iron pieces of her shoelaces clink together, she took a deep breath. Illyana hadn’t been back here since… well, since a few years back, when she didn’t make a great first impression on some students. And teachers.
Back when she was younger, more inexperienced, and had less control over Darkchylde. The only reason she was even back here, was because her former roommate (or well, former-former roommate? She assumed they’d room together again.) had begged her to come back in a letter, stating that it was too boring and stuffy without Illyana there. She had considered throwing the letter out, to continue living and pretending that nobody ever contacted her. But it was Kitty, her best (and only) friend that asked her to come back, and how could she say no to the girl?
Kitty was always one of the only people that could pry open Illyana’s chest and reach in for her half dead heart, reviving it for just a little longer. She was the only one that had ever seen her cry when she woke up from nightmares about Limbo and Belasco, the only one she’d trusted enough to be comforted by. So, defeatedly, Illyana had wrote a letter back, stating that she would return to Xavier’s Mansion once again, on the condition that she would not have to fight as an X-man. Kitty (and presumably Professor Xavier and the other teachers) had swiftly agreed, arranging a time and date for her to be picked up.
So now, here she was, standing in front of the massive wooden door that led to the dining room, where Kitty, Professor, her brother Colossus, and most likely other people too, were waiting for her. Taking another deep, shuddery breath, Illyana lifted her hand to knock, her knuckles making contact with the cold polished wood while wrapping around the wore down golden knocker. A deep, dampened sound came from the door as she let the knocker fall back against the wood, making her step back a bit. Not even a second later, the door swung open, allowing Illyana to slowly walk into the impressive room, the carpet feeling too soft under her combat boots. As soon as she walked a few feet into the room, she felt someone run up to her from her side. She took on a defensive stance, reaching for the sword on her side (that wasn’t there, taking the Soulsword into a school full off mutants and rescued demons would be an obvious mistake.), ready to attack whoever tried to sneak up on her.
However, her worries were quickly soothed when she turned around to see the unmistakable grin of Kitty Pryde, paired with her flowing brown hair that seemed to shine like a tiger’s eye crystal in the sun. “Yana ! You made it, I’m so happy to see you !” The girl exclaimed, wrapping her arms tightly around Illyana’s chest. She blinked a few times, before hesitantly hugging Kitty back. “Me too. I missed you.” She muttered, a small smile threatening to playing on her lips. “I missed you too, it’s sooo boring with you here, you’re going to stay for a while right? Oh ! You haven’t seen the new danger room have you? And I decorated our room, but don’t worry, I didn’t touch your bed or closet! Oh and-“ kitty rambled, startling Illyana slightly as she was overloaded with information. Luckily, Professor Xavier rested a gentle hand on the girl’s shoulder, pulling her away from the hug gently.
“Easy there Miss Pryde, you will have plenty of time to inform Miss Rasputina about everything that has changed in her absence.” The man reassured, giving Illyana a kind smile as Kitty nodded, turning red slightly in embarrassment. “Of course, sorry Yana” she mumbled apologetically, taking a step back. “It’s okay, I uh, it’s okay” she replied, smiling at the girl slightly. Kitty’s eyes lit up again, her shining smile returning to her face in tenfold. “Okay, well I’m going to finish up the rest of our room, Professor can talk some more with you!” The brunette chirped, giving her another quick hug before leaving again. Illyana almost wished she didn’t go, she wanted to bask in the light of her presence some more.
“It’s lovely to see you again, Miss Rasputin.” The telepath began as Kitty left, extending his hand to give her a polite handshake. She nodded, following the man as he wheeled to a few seats, motioning for Illyana to sit. “Please, sit, you must be tired from your journey.” He offered, looking at her with warm eyes. She hesitated for a bit, before deciding to be a good guest and sit down in the comfortable chair opposite of Professor Xavier. “ You can call me Charles, Miss Rasputin.” He chuckled, resting his arms on the sides of the chair. She tensed up, gaze harshening as she glared at the man. “Stay out of my mind, Charles.” She growled, crossing her arms and feeling her jaw tighten as the Professor just smiled. “Sorry, old habits die hard” he mumbled, still with that stupidly soft smile on his face. She wanted to punch him in the jaw and wipe it away. Instead, she just gave him a curt nod, letting him continue talking.
Illyana sighed, zoning out as she let Charles’ words flow over her head. Her thoughts brought her back to Kitty, mulling over how much she’d changed. Yes, the girl still had the same bright smile, and shining hair that looked like a tiger’s eye crystal in the sun, and that clothing style that shouldn’t fit together but does. But I’d been years since Illyana had seen her, what if they both had changed too much to still be friends? Maybe Kitty still had that childish charm that always seemed to make Illyana melt a bit, her excitement about the world admiring. But maybe the girl had matured, was just as somber as she herself was, maybe their new personalities would clash.
She also wondered if she had changed, or was she still the stone cold girl people seemed to think she was? Illyana picked at her nails, wishing Charles was done talking already, because she truly did not care about the renovations the mansion had undergone. She didn’t come here for the mansion. She came here for so she could see her best friend again.
The Professor apparently to noticed that she wasn’t paying attention anymore, because he put his hands on his legs with a chuckle, moving back into his wheel chair. “Well, I suppose that was everything ! You still remember where your old room is , do you not Miss Rasputin ?” The man smiled, making Illyana exist the urge to roll her eyes. “Yes. We don’t need to continue talking.” She mumbled, trying to lean more heavy into her Russian accent to make it clear she didn’t want to talk anymore. Usually, it worked in scaring people off; even more than her general goth look did.
Charles hummed, dismissing her with a hand motion. “Alright then , i will see you around. Goodluck Miss Rasputina” he called out as she left, slamming the door behind her with an annoyed groan.
She knocked on the door of her old room, before opening it. Kitty was reading on her bed, shooting up and shutting the book close as Illyana entered. “Yana ! You’re finally here !” The girl grinned, her smile infectious. “Mhm, charles kept talking.” She huffed, a small smirk playing on her lips as she plopped down on her bed. She looked around the room, observing all the new decorations and trinkets. Kitty’s side of the room was filled with movie and band posters, some colourful, some more dark toned. There was a string from fairy lights hanging from the door to the opposite of the wall, above Illyana’s bed. The carpet was a soft pink colour, green leafs weaved within it. “It’s cozy” Illyana remarked, trying to sound as genuine as possible.
Kitty smiled warmly at her , sitting cross legged on her own bed. “Thanks ! I didn’t know if you want your side of the room decorated, but I have some stuff in boxes if you want! I kind of guessed for the posters, do you still listen to The Cure and Molchat Doma?” The girl asked excitedly, making a warm feeling swell up within Illyana’s chest. Truth be told, she didn’t listen to much music anymore, but the thought of Kitty thinking about her while buying stuff, remembering her old favourite bands, was a sweet thought. “Yeah, I do” she lied softly, smiling a bit. Illyana looked up at the ceiling, noticing the constellations painted on it, chuckling as she remembered her and Kitty drawing them on it with pencil. She frowned slightly at the flag hanging above her friend’s bed, tilting her head.
“What’s that flag ? Is it from your home country ?” She asked, a bit confused. She’d never seen a flag like that before, and it didn’t look like either the American flag or something from Jewish culture, the bright pink and blue seeming uncharacteristically state-like. Kitty stilled a bit, fidgeting with the fabric of her bedsheets. “Oh uh, it’s the bisexual flag “ she mumbled hesitantly, smiling nervously as she looked down. Illyana frowned , now even more confused than before. “Bisexual ? Is that a city ?” She questioned, looking through her brain files to see if she’d ever heard Kitty talk about it before.
“Uh, no it’s uhm, a sexuality? Like uh, being straight is liking the opposite gender, but being bisexual is liking both” Kitty explained, glancing at her face shyly. “Oh , I never heard about that before. “ Illyana replied, looking down awkwardly. Was this another thing she missed while in Limbo? Or was it more recent, and did she just never hear about it. “And uh, you’re bi-sexual then..?” She asked her friend, having a bit of a hard time pronouncing the word. Kitty nodded, leaning back against the wall. “Uh, yeah . Are you , okay with that?” She mumbled , her usual excitement dripping away from her voice.
“Uh.., yes? Yes” Illyana replied, her own mood souring as Kitty seemed more down. Her friend was about to say something, when there was a knock on the door. Both girls looked up, Kitty calling for the person to come in. Opening the door and lowering his head to fit under the doorway, Illyana’s brother, Piotr, AKA Colossus walked in. “Illyana , I heard you have returned” her brother smiled, putting his hands on his hips. “Yes, I did . How have you been Piotr ?” She mumbled, wincing slightly as the man sat down next to her, making the bed sink in under his weight. “I have been great sister ! Let me tell you about what happened on my last mission-“ he began , resigning Illyana to a fate of even more talking.
It had been a few weeks since Illyana had returned to the mansion, and she’d settled in decently. Right now, she was sitting at the dinner table next to a chatty Piotr and a grumpy Logan, when Kitty walked in excitedly. “There’s a pride parade in the town next over, can we go ? Pleaseeeee can we go ? Professor said that we could go if we had a teacher as a supervisor !” She exclaimed, sitting down in between Illyana and Logan. The man grumbled, taking a sip from his flask (she still didn’t know if it was filled with coffee, liquor or syrup). “Let me guess, I gotta be that teacher since big ol’ tin can here ain’t a teach?” He sighed, dropping his flask back onto the table with a clank.
Illyana frowned as Kitty kept talking, probably managing to convince Logan at some point while Piotr smiled encouragingly. A pride parade? Was that another thing she missed? Was it something to do with Veterans Day, being proud of your country and showing it in a parade? She had been to some of those back before limbo, but they weren’t a festive activity. They were a forced attendance march, praising the motherland. Leaning closer to her brother, she mumbled confusedly “Whats a pride parade? Is it like the Russian marches?”. Piotr let out a rumbling laugh, putting a hand on her shoulder. “No of course not Illyana. It is a parade to celebrate the queer community, Kitty wants to go because she is bisexual” he explained gently, smiling warmly as Illyana nodded in understanding. “Okay…? Alright “ she muttered, leaning back in her chair.
“Do you want to come with us Yana !” Kitty asked, grinning widely while Logan took another swig of his flask in defeated. “Uhm, I don’t know… I don’t really” she began, thinking about it. She’d never been good in crowds, let alone festive crowds. Kitty’s shoulders slumped, biting her lip while a flicker of disappointment and something else appeared on her face. Illyana’s eyes widened a bit as her friend looked sad, sitting up straighter in her chair. “I mean, yes, I’ll come with you . It’ll be… fun.” She replied, desperately hoping that Kitty would smile again. The girl didn’t fully cheer up, but smiled half heartedly as she nodded. “Alright , I’m gonna tell the Professor !” She said, walking back out of the room, grabbing a waffle from the kitchen counter as she left.
The day of the pride parade arrived sooner than she’d expected, but it was a slight relief. Kitty had been acting a bit strange since asking her if she’d come, and she hoped it would just go away after today. Illyana sat in a chair as some younger mutant whose name she had forgotten did her makeup. “I’m almost done !” The kid smiled, putting some golden glitter on her cheekbones. “Thank you , child” she mumbled, giving the kid a pay on the shoulder. Kitty walked into the kitchen, greeting the kid (who looked between them, giggled, and left), and waved at Illyana. “You look nice Yana” her friend smiled, giving her a hug. “Thank you, you look …” stunning, beautiful, gorgeous, divine “Colourful. It fits you” she complimented, looking at the intricate rainbow details on her friend’s cloak. She was wearing a white dress shirt covered in gemstones, and bright blue pants with chains and butterflies attached to it.
Kitty mumbled a thank you, giving her a small smile before walking away again, loudly greeting a grumbling Logan in the next room. Illyana sighed in frustration, digging her nails into her palm as she stomped her foot. “What did I do wrong…” she grumbled, looking in the mirror defeatedly. Clearly, Kitty was upset with her for something, but she couldn’t figure out what. She took a deep breath, unclenching her fist, rubbing the crescent shaped marks in her palm. “Yana, you coming ?” Kitty called out from the hallway, pulling Illyana out of her thoughts. “Yes, on my way “ she mumbled back, shutting her eyes and taking another few shaky breaths, before opening the door to meet Kitty, Logan, Piotr and some other student’s she didn’t care to learn the names of.
The car ride to the town wasn’t long, 30 minutes max, but it felt like Illyana was suffocating the whole way. As everyone trickled out of the car, she sighed in relieved as her feet touched the ground. Her senses were immediately overwhelmed by loud music and neon colours surrounding her, instinctively reaching for Kitty’s hand. “Are you okay Yana?” Her friend whispered, rubbing soothing circles on the back of her hand. “Yeah- just, it’s a lot” she mumbled, leaning a bit closer to the girl as they started walking towards the crowd.
It all went smoothly for the first hour, until Illyana and Kitty got separated from the rest of the group, making their way through alleyways together, trying to get back to the crowd. “Have we been here before?” Kitty sighed, leaning against the brick wall in defeat. “I don’t know… I’d try to portal us out of here but I don’t want to hurt anyone” she replied , glancing at 2 people approaching them from the entrance of the alleyway suspiciously. “Oi, are you two part of those fairy’s and their weird march?” One of the guys called out, grinning like a hyena. Kitty bit her lip, gaze harshening. “Leave us alone, we don’t want trouble..” the girl mumbled, inching away from the guys. “ Come on, we just wanna talk . Are ya one of those dykes? “ the second man laughed, coming too close for comfort, making Illyana reach for the dagger in her pocket.
“She said leave us alone.” She growled, laying the russian accent on thick as she took on a defensive stance. The 2 guys laughed, stepping closer as one of them reached a hand into his pocket. Illyana moved to shield Kitty with her body, teeth crunching against each other as the first guy began to talk. “What, are you a fuckin’ immigrant or something? Is that your dyke girlfriend” he snorted, crossing his arms. She didn’t know what the fuck they ment with ‘dyke’ , but she assumed it wasn’t nice. Pulling the dagger from her pocket, she pointed it at the 2 guys. “Piss off, mудак” Illyana spat, making sure Kitty was alright from her peripheral vision.
The next moments passed in a flurry of fists and kicks, Illyana vaguely aware of one of the guys pulling out a knife too, and was quickly dismantled by Kitty. She’d lost her dagger somewhere, moving on to kicking with her combat boots and bruising her knuckles on the other’s bones. Eventually, the two men decided to give up, spitting insults at her and Kitty before leaving; she would’ve chased them if her friend didn’t tell her to quit it. “That’s enough Yana..” the girl mumbled softly, pulling on her arm. She took a deep breath, nodding.
“Are you alright ?” She asked, scanning Kitty got injuries. “I’m fine Yana, I’m a young x-men too” she chuckled, hugging Illyana tight. She hummed, leaning into the hug with a hint of desperation. “I know, I just… did I do something wrong?” She whispered, resting her head on Kitty’s shoulder. The girl tilted her head, frowning “No? Why would you think that?”. She shrugged, nuzzling her face into the fabric of the other’s blouse. “You were upset with me? Or just, ignoring me” Illyana explained, tensing up a bit. She felt her friend let out an exasperated laugh, pulling away slightly. “I- I thought you didn’t, you weren’t okay with me being bi, but well-“ she vaguely motioned at the back of the alleyway, eliciting a small but suprised chuckle from her.
“Why did you? I wouldn’t like you less just cause you’re bi-sexual..” she mumbled, resting her hand on Kitty’s shoulder. The girl shrugged, smiling softly. “You acted a bit, strange? But well, I should’ve known better. I love you for a reason.” She blushed slightly as she spoke, fidgeting nervously. Illyana tilted her head in confusion, mulling over what her friend just said. What did that mean?
Oh?
Oh.
Oh.
“What-? You-?” She sputtered , very aware of the way her face was heating up. Kitty bit her lip shyly, shrugging. “I like you, like- romantically. Do I was kinda bummed out when I thought you were homophobic- even though I know you’re not , like , gay, but-“ Illyana watched as the girl rambled, feeling like everything was in slowmotion as she took in every new bit of information. “-So yeah, sorry if this is weird but I still want to be friends and-“ Kitty continued, making hand movements and looking down. She likes me. I like her. Ilikeherilikeherilikeheriloveheriloveheriloveherilo-
She went to cup Kitty’s jaw and cheek in her hands, pulling her closer, making their lips touch. Illyana heard the other girl make a suprised noise, but quickly she leaned into her touch, wrapping her arms around her neck. Illyana decided that if she were to die like this, she’d be happy. The feeling of Kitty’s soft lips on hers , the girl’s breath warm on face. Kitty pulled her closer, letting Illyana wrap her arms around her waist, making her feel giddy for maybe the first time in her life. She was about to pull away and say something, when the loud, unmistakable voice of her brother interrupted them.
“Logan ! I found them , they’re he-“ Piotr called out, before stopping in his tracks, mouth falling open. “Illyana , Kitty !?” Her brother stammered, before smiling widely. “Piotr. I don’t care that you are made of metal I will skin you alive- hey-!” Illyana let out an embarrassing yelp as Piotr crushed her into a hug, hearing Kitty laugh in the background. “Good job kids, now don’t run away again” Logan grumbled, walking up behind them. “Sorry, we got lost !” Kitty began to explain, while Illyana finally broke free from her brother’s hug, stretching her arms before crossing them, looking at Kitty. “I am very proud of you sister” Piotr smiled, resting a hand on her shoulder. She rolled her eyes, not looking away from her friend- girlfriend-? As she sighed.
“Whatever . Let’s get back to the rest.” Illyana mumbled, walking up to Kitty and holding her hand hesitantly, watching her face as their fingers intertwined. The other girl lit up, grinning from ear to ear as they began walking back to the group, hands still together while Logan complained about having to go and find them.