Bags
Chatting on 'The (mostly) unbiological family that fucks each other'
Wanda 🔮 added John 🔥 to the group chat
Wanda 🔮: this is John, the new student
John 🔥: hi
Charles 📚: Hello John, welcome to the family group chat
John 🔥: I love the name
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: why thank you
Charles 📚: I really should change it
Raven 💙: shut up Charles
John 🔥: Why are you telling the headmaster to shut up?
Raven 💙: that idiot is my brother
Charles 📚: charmed sister dearest
John 🔥: ohhhhh makes sense
Wanda 🔮: sorry John, should have explained all the relationships
John 🔥: it's alright
Sean 🍃: don't be a spoil sport mom
John 🔥: mom?
Darwin 🪨: long story
Hank 🔬: remember how I said Charles and Erik were our adopted parents?
John 🔥: yeah
Psylocke 💜: the first set of students started calling them mom and dad as a joke
TheBestSummers 🥇: that was 10 years ago
Logan 🍁: it's just stuck
Remy ♣️: you get used to it don't worry
Raven 💙: mom what's for dinner?
Charles 📚: lasagna
Raven 💙: yummy
Charles 📚: Raven you do realise that you're my sister?
Raven 💙: wow really I never knew?
Charles 📚: so why call me mom?
Raven 💙: Kurt is my child but still calls you mom
Charles 📚: ...
Kurt 🌃: true, Raven is mami, Charles is mom
Charles 📚: congratulations for telling him Raven
Alex 💪🏻: when did this happen?
Raven 💙: I told him a little while ago, however it's sort of been taking a while to get used to it
Azazel 💥: what am I kid?
Kurt 🌃: du IST mein Vater
Azazel 💥: ja
Kurt 🌃: I call you papa, like Peter calls Erik papa
Janos 🌪️: does this make me a step dad?
Azazel 💥: I suppose it does
Emma 💎: so I must be a step mom
Hank 🔬: and if the family relationships couldn't get any more complicated...
Sean 🍃: oh my god
Angel 🦋: RAVEN YOU AND AZAZEL???
Raven 💙: it was once 16 and a half years ago...
Logan 🍁: well this is interesting
Remy'sGirl ♥️: congratulations!!!
Remy ♣️: glad you were reunited with your family Kurt
Kurt 🌃: thank youuuu
Erik 🧲 : want me to get started on dinner Schatz?
Charles 📚: please
Erik 🧲: Peter, did you want to help me?
Peter 😎: YESYESYES
Erik 🧲: meet me downstairs in 10 minutes
Peter 😎: okkk
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: Did you know you can tell why type of person a teacher is from the bag they use?
Lorna 🧩: you can?
Wanda 🔮: ugh shut up
Remy'sGirl ♥️: how?
Azazel 💥: how?
Emma 💎: he's probably making some shit up
Charles 📚: language
Emma 💎: 🙄🙄🙄
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: ok I'll show you what I mean with the first class
Jubilee 🎀: go on
Peter 😎: ugh shut up
Jubilee 🎀: rude
Peter 😎: and?
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: Let's start with Erik
Erik 🧲: why me?
Charles 📚: rather you than me darling
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: Erik has a briefcase. He's blunt, doesn't take any nonsense, is extremely organized, professional and respectable
Storm ⛈️: is snogging your fiancé during break professional?
David 🧠: it is in this school
Charles 📚: accurate description
Emma 💎: he forgot the miserable bastard part
Charles 📚: Emma, no
Emma 💎: 🙄🙄🙄
Warren 😇: haha
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: next one is easy, Logan
Logan 🍁: fuck off
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: doesn't use a bag, doesn't give a shit, does stuff quick so he doesn't have to move anything
Sean 🍃: I think that's knows as lazy
Logan 🍁: and I think you should go fuck yourself
Charles 📚: language
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: next we have the girls
Raven 💙: so we don't get names
Angel 🦋: thanks a lot Alex
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: I was about to name you but it looks as though you've done it yourself
Azazel 💥: I thought he knew it's a bad idea to piss off Angel and Raven
Hank 🔬: he's a bit thick
Wanda 🔮: true
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: shut up
Hank 🔬: no
Kurt 🌃: haha
TheBestSummers 🥇: this is amusing
Lorna 🧩: agreed
Wanda 🔮: shut up
Remy'sGirl ♥️: carry on Alex
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: well RAVEN and ANGEL both use handbags. You may think "typical girl bags" but that's not the case with those two. They use it because it can hide how aggressive and tough they are under their sweet and innocent exterior
Charles 📚: Raven? Innocent? That's something I didn't know.
Raven 💙: shut up Charles
Charles 📚: no 🥰
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: next is the love of my life
Hank 🔬: you're just trying to make up for roasting me
Remy ♣️: he is
Peter 😎: yep
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: Hank also used a briefcase but that's because he's disorganised and ends up just stuffing everything in it as it keeps it out the way when he's hauled up in his lab. Nothing very exciting about him- I mean his bag
Psylocke 💜: lmao
Erik 🧲: accurate
Hank 🔬: I hate you
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: moving onto the boys
Sean 🍃: DA BOYSSSSS
Darwin 🪨: DA BOYSSSSS
Remy'sGirl ♥️: are we the children or are they?
Kurt 🌃: good question
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: we use rucksacks because we are so cool and ayoung and everyone likes us
Janos 🌪️: ...
Logan 🍁: debatable
Peter 😎: agreed
Sean 🍃: shut up
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: Save the best person till last
Erik 🧲: I have to agree with you there
Lorna 🧩: oh shut up dad
Wanda 🔮: why don't you take you fist out of your arse and shove it in your mouth so you can't talk
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: Charles Francis Xavier
Raven 💙: aka Mr 3 first names
Charles 📚: not for much longer
Erik 🧲: true
John 🔥: awww
Peter 😎: couple goals
Wanda 🔮: fr
Storm ⛈️: Cherik for life
Kurt 🌃: yesyesyes
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: Charles uses a satchel. Symbolises how nerdy he is
Emma 💎: and how gay he is
TheBestSummers 🥇: I didn't know satchel = gay
Psylocke 💜: said the person who said watermelon = gay
Sean 🍃: the fuck?
Charles 📚: language
Remy'sGirl ♥️: we were drunk
John 🔥: you can get drunk here?
Peter 😎: We can...if we want detention
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: normally satchels don't equal gay
Kurt 🌃: but when they have enamel pride pins on them, it does tend to mean gay
Darwin 🪨: wait what?
Angel 🦋: what?
Sean 🍃: WHATTTTT
Kurt 🌃: you never noticed?
Hank 🔬: nope
Charles 📚: you didn't notice?
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: nope
Charles 📚: my god so you really had no idea I was gay?
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: you never came out
Raven 💙: Charles if you spent any more time in the closet, you would have found Narnia
Charles 📚: I was never secretive about it, just not loud about it
Logan 🍁: until you snogged Erik
Charles 📚: it's not something I decided to shout from the rooftop
Peter 😎: I noticed
Erik 🧲: well done kiddo
Charles 📚: evidently you noticed more than your Papa
Erik 🧲: ...
Charles 📚: oblivious idiot
Erik 🧲: I hate you
Charles 📚: no you don't
Wanda 🔮: Dad, you have to remember, the first class people are thickos
Erik 🧲: true
Charles 📚: Erik those are you children
Hank 🔬: I'm not thick
TheIrrelevantSummers 👎🏻: you are when it comes to emotions
Hank 🔬: I'm not
TheBestSummers 🥇: Who had a panic attack over a wart called Alexander Summers?
Hank 🔬: ...
Janos 🌪️: I don't know whether to applaud Alex for his accurate description or to be concerned for his sanity
Charles 📚: always do the second my friend, as it's always the right thing to do