Teamwork Is Just Fools Gold
"And remind me again why my greatest adversary insists on abandoning his very vital post in New York to invade my new sanctum under the pretense of a wellness check?" Elliot, Superior Octopus, grumbled as he swung across the sky of San Francisco with his webs, while his counterpart, the ‘true Superior’ Spiderman, trailed closely behind.
"Otto, I said your problematic past was water under the bridge if you turned over a new leaf, but-" Peter tried to speak up as Elliot shot a web at the corner of a building to turn sharply left, trying to get rid of Peter. Peter pulled against his own webbing, gaining momentum to catch up to the other again. "Hey- listen, Otto please- I just wanna keep an eye on you before you take on Spiderman affiliation." "Not Otto, it's Elliot now, you fool." Elliot corrected, ignoring the rest of what the other had just said. Typical Otto self-indulgence, Peter guessed that was part of the trademark Doctor Octopus name.
The air wasn't the best place for a good conversation, so Peter dropped from the sky. He glided down to the side of a skyscraper, quickly climbing to the top of it. As he saw Elliot continue swinging without him, Peter shot a web right at Elliot's back, yanking him to the roof. Elliot was pulled back 20 feet in almost an instant.
He skidded against the rooftop on his side before colliding into Peter, who stood in a lunge to soften Elliot's force. As soon as the two bodies came to a halt, the metal limbs in Elliott's backpack sprung out, pushing him off of Peter and stabilizing him. Elliott crouched, his claws protracting as they dug into the rooftop; he was ready to fight. "What the hell was that for, Parker!?" Peter stayed motionless on the roof, the eyes on his mask narrowing as he looked ahead towards Elliot.
"Sorry for being a little tough. Despite how much of a yapper you are, words don't seem to work when they’re targeted towards you, huh? You're a special case compared to the other spiderpeople I've had to mentor, but-" "I don't need a mentor." "...to mentor, and the first lesson is to expect the unexpected. Cliche, I know.” Elliot didn’t shift his stance, but his head followed Peter as he started to pace. "Didn't your octo-sense go off when I webbed you? I doubt that the great and powerful Otto Octavius would be defeated by some silly string." Peter should’ve bit his tongue for insulting his webs, but he wanted to maximize Elliott's failure; eating away his ego until he was insecure enough to learn. Elliot retracted his limbs and stood up, crossing his arms and peering into the distance dramatically. "Of course it went off you barbaric dolt! I had just assumed it was alerting me to the crashed delivery truck downtown.”
The silence was loud. Elliot turned to face Peter, laughing bitterly. "I assume you wouldn't know with the lack of technological advances in your suit, but my mask alerted me to a police station report: a local bank's armored delivery truck derailed a few streets down from here, right on the corner of Harrison and Locust View. That was where I was trying to get to before you started trailing me." There was more silence as Elliott waited for Peter to process and admit he was wrong in underestimating him. That didn’t happen. "Uh… well, good job on staying on top of crime watch, especially since you haven't set up any octobots yet. Though crime watch is more of a lesson 5 topic, we’ll get there." Elliot, tired of Peter's existence, walked to the edge of the rooftop and jumped off, continuing to head towards the crime scene. "I am well versed in the lessons of being a 'spider man'. I've been inside of your thoughts Parker, I've learned sufficiently." Peter continued to follow the other. "And I've been in your thoughts, Otto. I saw how much you fucked up when you were in my body; you definitely need a mentor." Peter sparked to no response, and stayed quiet for the few minutes it took to get to the desired location.
On an evacuated downtown street, there was a large, metal workhorse truck turned on its side and blocking the middle of the road. Peter and Elliot landed on the side of a building to get a better look at the scene. A man dressed in purple and green stood in front of the truck’s back door; it was Abner Jenkins, more known as his villain persona The Beetle. It was difficult to see what he was doing from where the octo-spider duo were perched. Elliot tapped away on the screen of one of his webshooters, much to Peter's disapproval. "Otto, have you ever heard that time is of the essence when fighting crime? I’m glad you're assessing the situation first, but the old fashioned way of just digging into things is usually faster. Honestly, I thought an old man like you would prefer old-fashioned." Elliot raised his finger to Peter's face to silence him before showing him the LED display on his wrist.
The screen showed a zoomed-in look at the scene in front of them. A black and white map of the street and truck, as well as a red, orange, and yellow outline of The Beetle. Heat signatures. Elliot was making sure that there were- "no civilians in the area, not even in the truck. Just that simpleton Beetle; struggling to even open a door, typical." Peters’ shoulders dropped, and the masks’ eyes widened in pleasant surprise. Elliot enjoyed the unspoken recognition, despite the source. He jumped off the wall to try to reach the road, but his counterpart grabbed the other's leg. "Eh? Can you cease with the brutalizing?” Elliot hyperbolized; Peter cleared his throat. "If you won’t let me teach you, would you at least let me help you stop this bug, Otto?" "It's Elliot, and you halted me to ask me that of all things? I thought you said time was valuable, or is it only important when you're not in the spotlight and making your incessant puns?" Peter ignored the insult.
"Let’s just say I've changed my tune. It's the Beetle, and he’s a two-bit villain anyways, we have time to discuss teaming up. What should your hero nickname be? ‘Superior Octopus’ is a mouthful.” Elliot rolled his eyes behind his mask. “Octopus is still long… S.O. sounds weird, Ocky sounds too close to your villain name… Ooh! Topus? Sounds unique at least.” Peter nudged Elliot’s shoulder playfully. “If it will shut you up I will take the idiotic nickname of Topus, for just this moment…Happy?” The other hero nodded.
Down on the street, Abner had been trying to cut open the back door of the truck with the lasers from his gauntlets; he’d been unsuccessful as he was unaware that the truck was lined with adamantium. "Christ, the Big Man said it'd be in and out; I definitely gotta helluva lot in, but I'm not seeing the out. It's been 10 minutes and nothin’." Abner grumbled. Unbeknownst to the criminal, Peter had swung down and landed on a nearby car behind Abner. "If only people called you Silverfish instead of Beetle, maybe you'd have an easier time cutting that thing open."
Peter watched as Abner flinched when he heard him, quickly turning around and shivering in distress. "Sp- Spidahman? How’d you get all the way up here?” Peter looked around innocently before putting a finger to his chin. "Wait a minute, this isn't New York." Peter laughed before Abner shot at him, the hero swiftly dodging the laser by flipping out of the way. Abner panicked, opening his wings to escape upwards. "The bastard must be followin’ me! Oh Christ, why me? Why did I take this stupid gig… But I need whatever’s in that damn truck to get paid; this sucks." Abner fretted to himself. As he took off, the criminal was ripped from the sky when something caught onto his leg. He screamed and closed his eyes as he was pulled down and smacked into a lamppost.
After scrambling to cling to the post, Abner opened his eyes and looked up, only to see his worst fear: another spiderlike hero standing on top of it. "Give up this petty robbery or you will face the wrath of the Superior Octopus." Elliot wasted no time in grabbing Abner by the cuff of his suit's neck and lifting him up menacingly. "There's two-a-you now!? You’ve gotta be kiddin’ me." Elliot stayed silent as he tried to web Abner against the lamppost, challenged by the criminal's squirming. "I think I've seen a similar thing in Charlotte's web." Peter joked as he watched the two from a distance. "Can you quiet, you curr, I'm trying to-" Elliot was cut off both figuratively and literally when Abner's wings reemerged, slicing through the work-in-progress web wrap and slicing into Elliot's left arm.
Abner flew directionless, almost in circles, as his mind raced with concern about the multiple heros. Peter held back his instincts, using the unpredictable nature of Abner's flight path as an excuse to shoot webs aimlessly, waiting to see how Elliott would react. Not well. Elliot's pale skin turned red, now visible through the newly cut hole in the suit. Pain pricked up his arm, heart racing with frustration, and he felt like an idiot for getting distracted so easily. It was that blasted Peter Parker. Elliot lunged from the lamppost to the truck, landing on all fours as his claws screeched against the top. He watched Abner up in the air, calculating for accuracy as he generated a web ball and threw it into the opening mechanism in Abner's wings, jamming the gears. "Shit." The criminal dropped like a fly, hitting the top of the truck stomach down, parallel to Elliot.
Elliot's limbs shot out of his backpack again, ready to strike as Abner wobbled on his hands and knees. He stood up just in time as the limbs started to slash at him. Elliot cornered him until he was backed over the side of the truck, holding on only by his upper body. The distance between Abner's feet and the ground was survivable, but his legs were weak, and it was unclear whether his wings would be able to reactivate. He was too stressed in the moment to decide how to flee. Peter slid off the car onto the back of the truck; Elliot was too enraged to notice his doppelganger change location. Raising a limb, Elliot planned to jab straight at Abner's head. "Topus, no!" Peter exclaimed as he jumped to the top of the truck, using his quick reflexes and strength to catch Elliot’s limb in mid-strike. "Call down, big guy, looks like you're seeing red… and purple and green." Peter looked at Abner; the criminal was still clinging to the side of the truck, paralyzed with fear.
Elliot used his body force to throw Peter off the truck and into the road, leaving a small crater in the ground. Distracted by the other once more, Elliot jumped off the truck and over to Peter. "I had Beetle in my grasp! And your jokes... Why do you insist on being a low level entertainer, rather than a hero?" "A hero? Just because you got scratched, you wanted to boost the kill count, and I thought you were a doctor, don't they save people?” "Robbery is a low level offense, and I warned him that I am a threat of the highest degree. If Beetle chose to risk his life to flee such a simple charge then that's just the price he pays!"
Abhner watched from a distance at the tangle of red, blue, black and white on the road as the two heros yelled at each other. To an outsider like Abner, it just looked like a petty fight that he couldn’t comprehend completely.
Utilizing the moment to level himself, the criminal climbed back to the top of the truck and got rid of the webs from his wings' opening mechanism. "That's good, this is ok, this is ok. I can botch this operation." Abner pressed some buttons on his gauntlets, noting that his attempts to open the truck's door depleted his lasers’ battery. He rubbed his hands together. "They’re almost dead. Maybe I can use some counter-force to charge these, like using the weight of the truck, but first I gotta get rid of one of these bozos.”
As the two heros sparred on the ground, Elliot gained the upper hand and pinned Peter down, webbing his hands to the road. "This would have been over in 30 seconds if you hadn't insisted on treating me as an underling and tagging along without prompting." Elliot complained as he stood up, his metal limbs drooping in discontent as Peter started to rant. "You may have my skills on paper, Topus, but you've been doing this for much less time than I have in the real world. You gotta judge your villains case-by-case. There’s a lot of complexity, and you of all people should know not all villains need to be threatened with death to give up. You could have at least taken me to dinner before webbing me up-" Peter was interrupted as Elliot webbed up his mouth, and the unrestrained hero quickly ducked to avoid a laser shot from Abner.
“I take back what I said, don't call me ‘Topus’. I will finish this." Elliott said as he rushed off to chase after Abner, who had magnetized his hands to the truck to lift it into the air. Peter tried to break free from Elliot's webbing; it had a stronger formula than his own, it was even bulletproof. He had to admit it was effective, but right now that was the problem. While trying to break free, Peter had some time to think. He knew from previous fights with Abner that his gauntlets didn’t have long-lasting batteries, so for the criminal to mark a stray shot with no real offense, it must’ve been bait. Abner had gotten the truck five stories high before Elliot showed up, digging his limbs into the truck to launch pad, sticking a two-foot kick to Abner and knocking them both off the airborne vehicle. As the truck fell, Peter was able to free his hands, and mouth, from the webbing, barrel rolling before looking up to get under where the truck was dropping. He was able to catch it, but the weight pressed hard on his back until he was able to stabilize himself.
A loud whoosh echoed through the street as the velocity of Abner's wings pushed against his weight to keep him from falling in the air. The criminal sighed in relief as he grabbed the falling Elliot by the legs. "What was I so worried about, I didn't think it’d be so easy. I just needed one of yous to follow me while I charged my lasers with a buffer. You seem like a hothead, octopus guy; of course ya fell for a taunt." Abner said, gaining some confidence. Before Elliot could react to what the criminal said, Abner spun around in the air a few times before launching the other straight up. Abner rubbed his hands together again, firing his lasers full blast at Elliot, enveloping him in extreme heat and light. Abner looked on proudly at his successful attack until he noticed something move in his peripheral vision: the truck, which was flying straight towards him. Peter having thrown it.
Though his suit had singed slightly, Elliot was protected from the lasers by bundling into a fetal position and shielding himself with his limbs. Abhner echoed Elliot’s action, curling up in a ball and covering himself with his wings as the truck collided with him. Though the vehicle's force knocked Abner out, his wings minimized damage as they were sharp enough to cut straight through the entire truck. Peter winced at both the horrible sound of metal grinding and the embarrassment of technically helping the criminal achieve his goal. As the sides of the vehicle opened up during its descent, shiny particles filled in the air; they looked like gold bars. "How cliche." Peter muttered after seeing the contents. As he watched everything and everyone fall from the sky, Peter threw a web up to the lamppost, using it as a diving board as he leapt into the air to catch Abner. "We wouldn't want you going to jail in pieces, now would we?"
Peter landed gracefully, holding the incapacitated criminal in his hands, bridal style. "That was about 4 stories up, how the hell did you fall faster than everything else?" Peter asked, knowing he wouldn’t get a response. Still in the sky, Elliot had decided to ‘altruistically’ ignore his injuries and ensure that the mission wasn’t a complete failure.
With precision and speed, Elliot webbed the bars together before throwing them into the left side of the truck, topside down. After pulling the right side of the truck to the left side with his webs, he wove the two halves together again. Afterwards, he landed on his feet, left fist touching the ground in a hero pose.. "Good job on… what did you say, ‘finishing this’?" Peter snarked.
"The villain is unable to operate now, is he not?" "Only because I threw an oversized Tonka toy at him! Can we not do this now? You're upsetting the kid.” Peter motioned his head to Abner, who was still in his arms. Elliot rolled his eyes behind the mask and told Peter to stop making jokes. "Yeah, well, it's either jokes or cursing you out. You've worked with The Beetle before, you know he’s not too much of a danger on his own. If you target every villain with head on force, they'll catch on and combat with even more force, and more force equals more damage.” Peter put Abner over his shoulder so he could hold him with one hand instead of two, enabling him to use his other hand to enunciate for Elliot to look around. Elliot's gaze shifted from the now-destroyed road, to the crushed vehicle, and even to his own ripped suit.
As if on cue, a few gold bricks hit the ground, resulting in more cracks in the road; one brick even struck Elliot on the head. He cried out, then reached a hand up to massage his head. "You deserved that. And, hey, quick question, do you know why Abner sliced you on his first attack instead of blasting you? It was because his gauntlet ba-" “Battery was out. Don't lecture me, I knew." Elliot grabbed the bar that hit him and started examining it with his wrist tech. “Oh! And now all of a sudden that mineral is more interesting than me? Ott- Elliot, if you wanna be a hero, you need to swallow your pride. You’re gonna make mistakes in battle: out of rage, out of sadness, out of confidence… Do you remember our first battle?" Peter's tone softened, trying to be genuine with the old foe. "As if it were yesterday, both from my perspective and your own. Save your conjecture; I know our history inside and out." Elliot walked away from the conversation, wandering around the road to find the other gold bricks that hadn't made it back to the truck. Peter watched his doppelganger in defeat, unable to think of what to say. That good old Peter Parker luck always gifted him the hardest tasks. It was like trying to change the habits of someone with the mental stubbornness of a boomer and the physical stubbornness of a millennial.
Peter could tell Elliot really wanted to change. While the two shared a body, he’d watched as Otto was captivated by the fulfillment of saving others, the love of Anna Maria, and the mental challenge of battle on the side of good. Otto had only given up Peter's body after admitting he lacked the necessary experience to save Anna and fight the goblin army. But this wasn't an army. Peter knew Elliot had the motivation to care for a city on his own, and since they both existed at the same time now, Peter could be Elliot's backup if there was ever a bigger threat.
But… just because the motivation was there doesn't mean Elliot was doing it right; is there a way to do heroism right? The ‘Superior Spiderman' approach generated positive results in the public eye: new protective measures, fewer criminals on the streets. Fear and violence are definitely powerful motivators, but not long term ones. Scaring small-time criminals could lead to smarter and stronger criminals. Victims of Elliot's tyranny could want revenge and end up hurting others, or worse, be pushed over the edge and end up hurt themselves. Peter shivered thinking about Chameleon.
.
As Peter critiqued his counterpart's methods, he started to question his own. Was Otto the exception and not the rule in terms of villain redemption?
So many of Elliot's mistakes were Peter’s own first, and not many a criminal stopped committing crimes even after a more pleasant arrest at the hands of the original Spider-Man. There must have been... "Peter?" Elliott said his name, his first name, jolting the other out of his circulating thoughts. Peter looked around to ground himself, noticing Abner wasn’t on his shoulder anymore but instead in Elliots possession, the criminal still unconscious and held in the other hero’s metal limbs behind him. "Sorry, I was just-" "thinking of the perfect pep talk to make me adopt your pacifist wannabe strategy of upholding the law? You were only self-entranced for a few minutes. That expression on your face suggests you are pondering morality, I've made that look a lot while in use of your body. Post mindswapping habits are fickle, are they not?" Was Elliot reaching out? The two men could argue morality until the spiders came home, but maybe all Elliot needed right now was some emotional encouragement and support, which Peter could easily supply. "Do I really make a face?" Peter laughed, trying to lighten the mood.
Elliot shoved a few gold bars to his backpack before tossing Abner up to the lamppost, shooting a few webs to catch him and wrap him up for the police. "I am unsure if you always made a particular expression or if it was my habits imprinting on you, your mask was always covered in our past battles." Elliot replied calmly, seemingly warming up to Peter's casual conversation. Ready to leave the scene, Elliot used his metal limbs as a springboard before webbing to a building and swinging away. Peter followed suit.
"Where are we going now, Doc?" Peter asked as he swung up next to Elliot. Peter noticed the other’s speed was slower, probably due to the prior cut on his arm. "Not ‘we’, ‘I’ am going to my apartment and taking this contraband to my lab." “So you’re thieving, right after stopping a thief?” “One bar does not a workhorse make. After being hit on the head by one of the bars-” Peter giggled, much to Elliot's dissonance. "Dropping from the height it fell from, the piece didn’t feel heavy enough to be true gold, and after scanning it, I discovered it contains trace amounts of Torbernite. It's only gold by exterior, and inside, it’s another mineral entirely, one I can't determine yet. I’ll take an educated guess that it's of unstable nature, since it had to be transported in an armored truck." Silence, yet again. "Did you not think armory for something as mainstay as gold was out of the ordinary?" Elliot pointed out with a smug tone in his voice. "Well now that i think about it..." Peter chirped, humbled by missing an important clue in what seemed to be a quick open and shut mission. He was checkmated, but Peter deflected rather than admitting anything complimentary. Elliott regaled in his intelligence enough.
"Suspicious gold? Oh doctor, it sounds like you've acquired your first solo mission as San Francisco's own Superior Octopus, but before I go, can I at least swing by your place? Check out your lab, maybe treat your wounds?" Elliot thought for a second. "My octobots are adequately programmed to treat medical injuries, but I haven't installed them into my apartment yet. I guess you've gotten your lucky break, Peter Parker, for whatever odd reason you want to be invited into my abode. I'll tend to my own wounds though, touch me and I will destroy you." Peter tried to control his excitement as the two of them swung through the sky. "Thanks Elliot, you seem like a golden host." "Don't make me regret this."