A ballad of anger and mustard
Peter couldn’t believe what was happening. Had Red Hood revealed his identity? Just like that? (not that he hadn’t just made the exact same thing, but it was different).
“What are you doing?!” Peter yelled, covering his eyes.
“What are you doing?” Jason laughed (it was a nice laugh). “It’s not like my identity will mean anything to you”.
Peter was speechless. Did he believe him just like that? Was he innocent or just naive?
“Are you an idiot?” Peter blurted out while he uncovered his eyes, unable to stop himself. He was seriously worried about this guy’s survival skills.
“No, your story is just on the right side of insane that it actually makes sense, ya’ know?” Jason answered seriously. Peter did not know.
…
Okay, so… Dimension travel. Jason could deal with that (he probably should contact Constantine though). He could tell Peter wasn’t sharing everything, but he had explained more than Jason had expected him to and had been quite honest as far as he could tell. Jason was a good judge of character.
However, it may actually be a problem how quickly Peter had spilled the truth about himself (even if he had yet to prove it). Innocent or naive? They may have to talk about that.
Jason really needed to send that hair sample to someone quickly… Which maybe he should have done before revealing his identity to the guy. Whatever. He just had to keep digging into the story to see if it crumbled under the pressure.
“Where exactly are we, anyway? Peter asked. “I mean, I already know it’s some city called Gotham in freaking New Jersey, but I don’t really know anything else about this place. Who even are you, Red Hood-Jason, anyway? Some kind of hero? A vigilante?” He continued, without taking a breath.
“Definitely not a hero,” Jason grumbled. “Being a former crime lord and all that”.
Peter’s eyebrows raised. “Anti-hero then? I know a few of those. Wade is cool, quite murder-y though” nonchalantly said.
“What… You know, let’s talk about that part later”, sighed Jason. “Yeah, we are in Gotham, New Jersey. Don’t make that face. A city you could basically call the Capital of Crime, given the high crime rate and amount of vigilantes that call this place home… You really have bad luck, ending up here from all other places”.
Then Jason’s “work” phone started ringing, putting a stop to the conversation. It was Dick.
“Hey, littlewing,” he started. “I was thinking about you and…”
“Get to the point, Grayson”
“Ouch, last names, seriously? I’ll let it pass this time” Dick huffed. “Anyway, are you home? I think this conversation is really a at-a-safe-place kind of conversation”
“The point, Dick” Jason said, rubbing his temple, already done with it.
“Okay, well…” Dick sighed. “Joker survived. He’s currently in a coma, though. They don't really know when he is gonna wake up, if he ever does… Jason?”
Jason couldn’t remember how to breathe. Seriously? That is how it happens? Joker ends up in a fucking coma and never causes trouble again?
A hand hovered near his arm, like it wasn’t sure to touch him. Brown eyes were staring at him, worried.
“... What did the Bat say?” Jason said after some time. He could hear a heavy sigh over the phone.
“He doesn’t believe you have nothing to do with it, since you have been back only for a couple of weeks and suddenly this happened”
“Do you believe him?” Jason couldn’t help but ask, hands curled into fists.
“What? No. No,” the other man was quick to answer. “Jason, I know you have been having some… issues. But I also know you would never miss the chance to rub it in B’s face that you almost killed the Joker” said with a bitter laugh.
Jason didn’t quite know how to answer that, despite how true it might be.
“How high are the chances of him waking up?” He said instead, looking in the direction of a dark brown hair covered head. If the Joker woke up…
“I mean, they don’t really know?” was the answer. “The damage to his body was quite severe. But, honestly? I have seen him being shot and almost pummeled to death, keep laughing and then carry on as if nothing ever happened”.
“Yeah, you’re right”
“...Littlewing, are you okay?” a worried voice spoke softly. Jason couldn’t stand it.
“I’m fine”. He then promptly hung up the phone.
“Jason?” Asked another voice. He had almost forgotten he wasn’t alone in this place.
Jason tried to take control of his breathing. He managed it. The same could not be said about the green rage, however. He really needed to punch someone (preferably not the person in front of him).
“How old are you?” He asked. “I need to go out for a bit”.
“I’m nineteen” Peter answered slowly.
“Well, old enough to be left at home alone,” Jason said. “I’m twenty-one, by the way”.
Peter just stared at him.
“Stay here and don’t go anywhere. I don’t want to run around the city trying to find you”, Jason told him, narrowing his eyes.
“Eh, it’s not like I have somewhere else to go, anyway” Peter simply said, shrugging.
…
Like that, Peter was left to his own devices, so he did one of the things he liked the most when he was bored: snooping around. Sadly, there wasn’t much to find, at least in the kitchen and living room (he stayed away from the bedroom, he still had some respect for people’s privacy), only a few guns and ammo, which was to be expected with what he knew about Red Hood-Jason.
However, the lack of stuff also said a few things. This either wasn’t Jason’s actual home or the guy was really minimalistic. Peter would bet on the former and that this was actually some sort of vigilante safehouse.
With nothing else to do, he passed the time staring through the living room’s window. The city was loud, rivaling New York. Thinking about what he heard listening (spying) Jason’s conversation, Peter closed his eyes, imagining himself still at home.
A couple hours later, Jason came back. Completely covered in ketchup and mustard.
“What the hell?” Exclaimed Peter, bursting into laughter. Jason, fully in his Red Hood gear, looked even more miserable than when he left; even with the helmet on it was noticeable.
“I thought you went out to let off some steam or something, not to become a hotdog”
“Shut up” Jason spat out, while taking off his helmet and leaving it on the kitchen table. “I’m gonna take a shower”.
Peter, sensing the mood, wisely kept his mouth shut (there was a first time for everything). Instead, he went back to the couch and stared at the ceiling, hoping sleep would come. As expected, it didn’t.
After some time, Jason returned. He had changed into a white t-shirt and some black sweatpants, his hair was still wet from the shower which made him look… young. Peter then remembered the guy was just two years older than him.
“What have you been up to?” Jason knowingly said. Peter had the feeling he knew he had been snooping around the place. “Was the view interesting? You were looking out the window”
“Not really?” Peter honestly answered. “It was quite noisy, reminded me of New York”
“New York, huh?”
“Uh, yeah. I am from Queens”, he said, rubbing his neck. “Anyway, what on earth happened to you? Were you attacked by a street food cart or something?”
“Or something”, the other man sighed. “It was the… Condiment King”, it sounded like it was painful to say it.
“Seriously? There's a villain who goes around calling himself the King of Condiments?” Peter burst out laughing again (was that a smile on Jason's face? he must have imagined it).
Jason grabbed a glass of water from the kitchen sink and then let himself fall next to Peter on the couch.
“We need to talk”.
…
“Who is Dick Grayson, by the way? And what kind of name is Dick?” Said Peter, clearly admitting he had listened to his conversation on the phone (did he have super hearing besides super strength?).
Jason almost choked on water. Almost.
“His name is actually Richard” he managed. “He is… my brother”
“Huh. Did he… give you some bad news?” Peter carefully asked.
“Sort of.. That’s actually what I need to talk to you about”. Jason proceeded, taking a deep breath. “The Joker, the guy whose ass you kicked, is still alive. In a coma, but it’s likely he will make it. Congrats I guess, you didn’t start off your stay here with murder”
“What does that mean? Who even is the Joker?”
“The craziest and most dangerous monster around here”. So much worse than that, Jason added to himself. “The problem is, you grabbed his attention, in the worst possible way. He will hunt you down if he wakes up”.
Peter stared at him with wide eyes.
“What happens now? Do I have to leave town or something? I handled him before, I could deal with him now”.
“No. You don’t want to mess with the Joker, Peter. When I say crazy, I mean batshit insane” Jason hurried. “And it won’t matter if you leave town, he’ll find the way to get to you”
“So what do I do now? It’s not like I have many options here, man” the guy said, stressed. Jason kind of understood, he had just arrived and was already a target of the worst trash to ever set foot in Gotham.
Jason didn’t have to really think about it. The solution was obvious (definitely).
“Stay with me. Not here though, another safehouse”, he said.
“What? You want me to stay with you?” Peter seemed in disbelief. “You just said I have probably become a batshit insane clown’s target. Wouldn’t that also put you at risk?”
He seemed anxious, like he truly cared something would happen to Jason. Strange.
“I’m a vigilante, I really can take care of myself” , he answered. “Besides, it’s not like you have anywhere else you could go right now”, he said, arching an eyebrow.
Peter didn’t seem to have an answer to that.
…
Park Row was truly… something. Well, Peter guessed there was a reason Jason called it Crime Alley after all. Not really that different from certain areas of New York.
The safehouse was actually nice. A living room, kitchen and two bedrooms, each with its own bathroom. Quite different from his own apartment.
“Welcome, I guess”, Jason said. “That is your bedroom. Help yourself to whatever is on the fridge or whatever, you live here now. My room is off limits though”.
“Some ground rules: no touching the guns nor any other weapon and don’t be outside after nine PM” , he continued.
“Don’t treat me like a child, I am an adult. You can’t put me on a curfew”, Peter rolled his eyes.
“A strong recommendation, then,” replied Jason. “However, as your new roommate and your guide through this place, I would suggest you follow it. Also, it’s like three in the morning, go to sleep”.
“Again, not a child”. Peter said as he took the direction of what would be his room for a while. Not because of what Jason said, of course, but because he had been awake for way too long.
It was a comfortable bed, he had to admit. However, as it was the norm lately, sleep didn’t come easily for Peter.
Staring at the ceiling, he thought about Jason, how he had helped him without knowing anything about him. His spider-sense had indeed told him the man was dangerous, but not to Peter. He hadn’t been anything but kind, when he really didn’t have to.
Peter also thought about the guy named Joker and what it meant if he woke up remembering him. He couldn’t let Jason get hurt because of that, no way in hell.
He would make sure of that.