Chapter 7
Steve hated Mondays. Which was more of a reason he loved Garfield. If no one else understood his hatred for the day of the week, he knew a cartoon orange cat could. The alarm beeps on the bedside table as he groans while leaning over and shutting it off contemplating if he should get up or not. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have much of a choice because as soon as he tries to close his eyes again he hears his door open slightly and peaks to see Sarah standing there.
“Daidí, time to get up I got to go to school.” She stage whispered, causing a small laugh to fall over Steve as he sat up with his hair sticking in every direction possible.
Little pitter-patter feet run away to the kitchen as Steve follows slowly behind. Still waking up, he turns on the coffee machine and places the sliced bread in the toaster. Sitting at the table is a, surprisingly, wide awake Sarah viciously colouring in the portrait she was working on the day before.
Walking over, Steve pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head while she continued concentrating on the project in front of her.
“What do you feel like you need to add to that?” Steve asked.
Being an artist himself, one thing he hated people saying to him was ‘it looks perfect’ or ‘I can’t even draw a stick figure.’ Because while others may have seen it as perfect, he was the one creating it and didn’t see it as ‘perfect’. Like most things in his life, Bucky was the first one to ask him that question after he snapped at him one hot summer evening when they were kids.
The sunset was beautifully washing over the sky as Steve sat on the porch out the back of the house with his watercolours and paper in hand, trying his best to capture it. Sketching was more his style but when the sky illuminated the way it did he would use the watercolours his Ma got him for Christmas that past year. He had been out there for some time before Bucky came and found him wanting to show him a new comic book his Mum had gotten him for perfect marks on his report card.
A few months after being friends, it wasn't rare to find the other entering the other's house sometimes even when they weren't home and would wait. At the age of 14, Bucky knew where the spare key hid and would let himself in. Calling out to Steve and getting no response, he finally saw the back door cracked slightly opened and walked towards it.
The door squeaked but Steve was concentrating hard on getting the colours right, he didn’t notice Bucky sitting down slowly moving to look over his shoulder until his chin rested on him.
“What you doing?” Dragging out his words for dramatic affect, and plain annoyance to Steve’s view, Bucky’s smile grew wider at the act he was pursuing.
“I am trying to use watercolours but they don’t want to work.” The anger at the paint slowly grew larger with every word spoken until Steve threw down the brush on the grass below.
Sighing as he grabbed the brush for his friend, Bucky passed it to Steve who took it with a shy smile before folding back his arms resuming his annoyance. Used to this behaviour from him, Bucky took his seat and looked over at the small sketch book he was using to capture the large sunset over them.
It was beautiful. The way the colours blended, the power lines, outline of the houses behind his, and even a few birds flying off, Bucky loved Steve’s art but this was beautiful. It was perfect. And as soon as those words left his mouth, and he saw the way Steve reacted, it might have been the first time he regretted saying anything. Only temporarily though.
“But it’s not! The orange shouldn’t be there, the houses are too close, the birds weren’t even there originally! It isn’t right, it isn’t done, and it certainly isn’t perfect!” Steve exclaimed before he stormed off inside leaving a baffled Bucky outside.
Sure, Steve had had outbursts before in front of him, they both had. But this one, it seemed out of nowhere. It was summer, so nothing had happened at school. He knew for a fact he had been home all day, so he was missing something for him to be acting like this. Or maybe the summer heat was hitting him harder this year.
Walking in the house, Steve sat slumped in the middle of the couch, making him look even smaller, with his knees pulled up to his chest mumbling something Bucky couldn’t quite understand.
“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked. No beating around the bush, or building up. Straight to the point.
He was met with a shrug of the shoulders in return followed by more mumbling. Walking over, Bucky sat next to Steve gently pulling his hands away from his face to look at him only to see his eyes bloodshot and hands covered in tears.
Face softening at this, Bucky pulled him into a hug, which he tried to fight for a few seconds before caving in. Steve wouldn’t admit it for a few more years but when he was in Bucky’s arms that was when he felt the safest. When his Mum was going through Chemo, when he had a rough day at school, got in another fight, it was Bucky who provided him with another dose of safety. One different from the one his mother supplied.
“Now, you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Bucky asked again after a few minutes as he slowly moved back from Steve, but still having his arms around him.
“I was out the front this morning. Sitting there with my sketchpad and pencils, mindlessly sketching. Then someone asked what I was doing, I showed him and he asked me what I thought of my own piece. I said it was close to being done and it was perfect” (Bucky would then learn many years later that it was him Steve was sketching that day) “He laughed at me. Full belly laughing. Pointing out everything that was wrong. It hurt, Buck.” Steve admitted as a few stray tears gently caressed his cheeks.
Steve was always confident about his art. He knew what we liked, when it was done, and when he found it perfect. Criticism wasn’t new to him either. In Art classes he was given feedback and handled it well. But while he had the confidence of liking his art, he hardly ever called it ‘perfect’.
“Okay then.” Bucky started as he walked outside grabbing the abandoned water colour and sat next to Steve again. “Have a look and let me ask you this. What do you feel like you have to add?”
Looking at him quizzically, Steve looked at the painting and realised there was nothing to add. The colours may have been the other way around but that was how it looked when he went outside. The houses looked like that from the angle he started painting. And the birds added something he didn't know but it looked like they belonged there.
“Nothing.” Steve said those years ago, and now Sarah said as she placed down her crayon.
It warmed Steve's heart that even if Bucky hadn't been present in his life when Sarah was a baby and raising her to know, he still incorporated many tricks he used on Steve and his sisters. Tricks Sarah knew nothing about, but he knew it would come to light sooner or later.
It would be a calm and quiet day that Monday, still didn’t make Steve hate them any less.
After he dropped Sarah off at school, he made his way home, and stood in the lounge with his hands resting on his hips. He had raised Sarah to clean up after herself, by setting an example himself. But that was always an easier thing to achieve when he didn’t need to rush her out of the house so early in the mornings. Walking over to his record player, which he still frequently used as it was his father’s, he chucked on one of his favourite vinyls and started to clean.
Dishes were stacked in the sink, so he washed them all by hand, because he still thought that the dishwasher Tony installed would start talking to him. Despite only being the two of them, they still managed to work their way through a mountain of dishes, so a five minute job of staking them in a dishwasher took Steve over 30 minutes by washing and drying by hand. There isn’t anything wrong with the old fashioned way he always thought, knowing not only Tony but Sam’s reaction to him doing it himself.
Moving to cleaning the table, littered by coloured pencils, and left over breakfast condiments. He quickly put them away mentally cursing himself for not doing it sooner as the butter was already getting too soft for comfort. Taking the coloured pencils and crayons, he made sure to pack them back exactly how Sarah would like and placed them on her little drawing table in her room.
He didn’t really classify what he was doing as ‘cleaning’ but more of a ‘freshening up.’ At least that is what he was telling himself so he didn’t spend the entire day deep cleaning an already clean house. Once he got into one thing, he would notice that the bookshelf needed dusting, or to clean under the couch, or under the fridge. But he already did that last week. When he didn’t know what to do with the day. So, he thought, what better time to go see Thor than now.
Grabbing his wallet and keys, he made the 30 minute walk towards Asgards Bakery as the cooling breeze floated around him making him wish he did bring his jacket. Instead, he picked up his pace watching as people's lives carried on around him as he turned the final corner and opened up the welcoming door.
The place wasn’t packed, hardly was, which was why Steve fell in love with coming here in the first place. An older couple Steve recognised sat at one of the booths, a few college students already hunched over textbooks and computers at another, and a few lonely strangers, all with their own lives, worries, and dreams sat in a communal area while still only in their own world.
Looking up from the cup he was washing, Thor’s booming voice got most of the customers' attention.
“Steven! I wondered when I would see you next. Please sit, let me get you your usual.”
With a few pairs of eyes on him, a blush crept its way up Steve’s neck as he sat on one of the barstools that had really become his. Thor made himself busy, only quickly, making Steve’s usual coffee and grabbing the blueberry muffin that he loves so much.
Placing them down, Thor leans up against the counter as much as he can and starts a conversation.
“So, how is little Lady Sarah enjoying school?” And with the mention of Sarah, Steve doesn’t stop talking for an hour.
Some people would see that and call him ‘clingy’ or he had ‘attachment issues’ but he just loved his daughter and didn’t need to be told by a therapist that it was ‘unhealthy.’ Like he had before when Sam managed to get him to talk to someone about his problems. He left after the four sessions he and Sam agreed on and didn’t plan on going back.
But, while he wished to talk to Thor more about Sarah, and trust that he did, he knew while he didn’t have much to do he still needed to stop by the VA to help Sam with a task. Sending his wishes to Jane and promising to be back soon and invite him over sometime, Steve got up from his seat and made his way to the subway to Sam.
Growing up in New York people would believe he would be used to using the Subway but Steve hated it. Which was why when Peggy told him she was pregnant he began saving for a car, which Tony ended up paying for. When he came back from class one day to see a set of keys on his desk he saw a note from him saying; ‘think of it as a baby gift. You could even keep it and give it to her for her 16th birthday.’ He knew that his motorbike wouldn’t work, so he accepted the car with the promise he would pay him back, and he slightly did with the amount of commissions he gave him at a discounted rate.
Thankfully, the ride was short and he was able to get out and walk the short distance to the VA he saw a block away from him.
Sam was waited outside, looking expectantly exhausted, as he rested against the brick wall with his eyes closed taking a long sigh.
“Tough day putting up posters Sammy?” Steve joked as he came up beside him.
“Ha ha Rogers. No, Riley called me. He’s fostering more kittens, so now I get to go home to four more kittens on top of the three cats we have.”
With Riley being unable to work because of his crash that sent him home, he found comfort in helping animals. After quickly learning he was allergic to dogs, he made the switch to cats and was less sneezy. Sam had lost track with the amount of cats and kittens that he has had in their home but while he acts annoyed Steve, Riley, and Sarah all know that he secretly loves the pets. Especially since they make Riley happy and that was all Sam ever wanted him to feel, was happiness.
“Then I guess Sarah and I will have to come by sometime and see them.”
“I guess so. Now come on, let’s go inside.”
When Sam came back after his time with the Air force, Steve began to learn ways to help Sam feel safe and better while he had a baby on the way. With the date of Sarah’s birth getting closer, Steve would sketch in between building the nursery and would find Sam colouring them in. Seeing it when he was deep in concentration, Steve slowly backed away and drew more and left them sporadically out when he was around or would put them in books he let him borrow.
Sam confronted him about them a year or so later and said how much they helped him. Then when he started at the VA he asked Steve if he would be able to do some drawings for those who wanted them as well. So he did. He provided simple portraits for art therapy, art on the walls, and even a mural once.
Sam led him into the communal office the workers and volunteers shared and led him over to his desk. He kept all the leftover pages safely locked away, and so he was able to keep track of what they had and when they were running low.
Generally Steve would make a few and they would be photocopied but sometimes they needed new ones. Especially for different holidays and seasons.
“So, we’ve got enough animals, flowers, and mountains. Would you be able to do some Autumn inspired art?” Sam asked as he flicked through the remaining pages.
“I could do some leaves, trees,and pumpkins?”
“Man, you always read my mind.” Sam chuckled back as he put the pages away. “And maybe, a new mural for Halloween?”
Looking at his friend, Steve simply rolled his eyes as he motioned for Sam to take him to the mural. “You’re going to be at my beck and call for babysitting though, I hope you know that Samuel.” All he received was laughter in return.
**
Parking in his usual spot, Steve got out of the car and walked over to where he waited for Sarah. Subconsciously he started looking around wondering if he could see Bucky but after a quick scan of the area his searchings came up negative.
“Looking for something pal?” A voice said behind him, causing Steve to slightly jump before seeing Bucky’s grin next to him.
“My sanity, good sleep schedule, the ability to watch anything other than My Little Pony, should I go on?” Steve joked back, feeling a smile warm on his face at the sight of Bucky laughing at his joke.
“Depends how much time you got?”
And as if he jinxed it, the bell rang throughout the school and soon enough kids were running out the entrances to their parents. Steve and Bucky stood side by side as they waited for their daughters to be a part of the running crowd. Soon enough the miniature versions of themselves rushed down the stairs, faces lighting up when they saw their fathers.
“Daddy!” Lottie shouted, jumping in Bucky’s arms.
“Daidí!” Sarah shouted, following Lottie’s action and jumping in her own father’s arms.
Greetings and hugs were exchanged between each father-daughter duo before they said their respective goodbyes, including multiple ‘goodbye’s’ between Lottie and Sarah as Steve and Bucky replayed the memories of their own childhood like that.
Steve and Sarah got in the car as she waffled off about her packed full day. From the songs they listened to in the morning, books they read, colouring they did, and then a notice from the teacher.
“We have a parent-teacher meeting on Thursday. Miss Simmons says it goes from after school till, I can’t remember but I have it on a notice for you Daidí.” Sarah explained as they came up the driveway.
Parent-teacher meetings were the bane of Steve’s existence. He hated them. Mainly because the teachers never liked him. He challenged them. From the playground fights to the questions in history class about if this was really what they were learning, none of them liked him. All but Principal Coulson. He understood Steve’s reason to fight but always had to be a professional about his job so he more encouraged him, and Bucky, to think of better ways to solve the issue and tried more times then they both thought all their teachers put together did.
Getting inside, Sarah passed Steve the newsletter as she went to go and eat her afternoon snack. Sitting down on the couch he read the letter.
MEET THE TEACHERS!
The teachers of SHIELD elementary would like to invite ALL parents/ guardians to come down this Thursday 15 September to talk with your child’s teacher.
- What they are learning this year.
- Who their teachers are.
- When are some important dates you should know.
- Why your encouragement matters.
- How you can help your child learn and grow!
Between 3:30pm-6:30pm
Come and meet the teachers!
As soon as Steve sat the newsletter down, his phone buzzed to the side of him. Placing the letter down and making sure Sarah put her plate away, he picked it up and saw a message from Bucky. Facing slightly blushing, he clicked on the message and read it.
B:Hey Steve, so with the whole parent teacher interview thing. I feel like we may be the youngest parents there, so you want to meet me at the school at 5:30? I finish work at 5, but if not all good. Just thought having a familiar face would be good for both of us :)
He smiled at the sentiment. While Steve was one who wouldn’t back down if something was wrong and always made sure to speak up, it didn’t mean he didn’t hate meeting people. Especially when all the parents he had seen seemed to know the others and by that extent he assumed they would know the teachers too.
S:Sounds like a great idea. Meet you by the tree then :)
Pressing send, he placed down his phone, all of a sudden now looking forward to meeting the teacher.
**
Quicker than he’d rather admit, Steve is standing by the tree he waits by for Sarah after school now with Sarah by his side and waiting for Bucky and Lottie.
Using her father as a climbing gym, Sarah holds Steve's hand while walking up his leg before begging to be held because her feet are sore. Steve, being the soft person he is, picks her up as he checks his phone wondering if Bucky is on his way.
Seeing no text, he puts the phone back in his pocket pulling his attention to his daughter before her face lights up jumping out his arms and to see Lottie.
Sarah runs over to Lottie, giggling and screaming as they meet in the middle embracing the other in a hug as their fathers stand behind each of them. Bucky looks up at Steve with the soft look in his eyes the same Steve has when he remembers their childhood together.
Letting go of each other, Sarah and Lottoe hold hands and skip up to the stairs yelling at their Dad's to join them. Raising his eyebrows to Bucky, the two men fall into step with the other a few feet behind their daughters.
The sight of Lottie and Sarah talking and giggling between them in front of him, and Bucky to the left of him smiling at the sight in front of him Steve can't help but feel a pain of sadness through his body. This was the future they planned before Bucky stopped replying. They were going to get married, buy a house, have a baby or two, and be the embarrassing but loving parents they each had in their own childhoods. But instead, they weren't together. They were friends all because their daughters found each other. Of course, Steve doesn't regret anything because he got his darling daughter out of the way things went. But he couldn't help himself but wonder what would have happened if they found each other earlier.
“Ever thought you’d be back here?” Steve asked Bucky, not wanting to go into a meeting with a sadness filling himself.
Bucky laughed next to him, looking at the school walls that once used to be theirs. “Absolutely not. You?” He asked in return.
Steve thought about a day many years ago, when Peggy was only 7 months pregnant and he got an unexpected email. “I almost was. Coulson offered me an art teacher position. Somehow found out I was having a kid and wanted me to have a stable income and a school picked out. Obviously, I declined and told him that I was okay. Still said the offer would always be there.”
“Aw Coulson. Always had a soft spot for us.”
“And why, I will never know.”
Sarah and Lottie had stopped outside their classroom door waiting for their dad's to catch up. At that moment, Steve saw Peggy in the look Sarah was giving him. At the same time, Bucky saw Natasha’s glare on Lottie’s face. Following them inside, they saw the teacher currently talking to a couple and another one waiting to talk to her.
So whilst they waited Sarah and Lottie showed them around. They showed them where they sat, the little library that sat in the corner, their school supplies, and then finally their family photos.
Even though Steve had seen the picture only earlier in the week, his heart still warmed every time he saw it. After they had gotten off the video call with Peggy the Sunday before, Steve had sent the photo of the drawing he took and she had called him for a few minutes later that night to tell him how much she loved it.
Beside Sarah's one, sat Lottie’s letting Steve look at their family. He tried making out what he could, but the light laughter beside him indicated Bucky was going to tell him what he was looking at.
“Lottie is in the middle, then there is me and her Mum, Natalia.” He said while continuing to point to each person. “Then Ma, Dad, Becca, and Ruth.” His smile was soft and delicate at the portrait, before he turned his head to Sarah's nodding his head as Steve began to explain their one.
“Sarah is in her dress. You've got me and Ma. Then Peggy, her Mum, and Peg’s girlfriend, Angie.” Steve explained, watching Bucky's face as he heard that Sarah's Mum was dating someone else. Seeing this look on him Steve quickly explained “We were only a short thing in college. We make it work parenting together, but she works overseas and here. Angie came into our lives about four years ago when I took Peg to see a play. She's wonderful.”
“Nat's like that too.” Steve looked over at Bucky, his eyebrows shooting up. “We were a one time fling, but we both wanted to be parents, so obviously we kept Lottie. Nat mainly works overseas though as well. So most of the time it is just me and Lottie.” He explained.
Speaking of their daughters, Lottie and Sarah came up behind them to take them to their teacher who was now free from other parents. Walking over, Miss Simmons looked up with a smile as she stood up from her desk to greet the pair.
“Oh you must be Lottie’s Dad, and Sarah’s Dad.” Miss Simmons said as she shook each of their hands. “Can I just say, we are only a week in and those girls are fantastic. They’re quick learners, listen, get their work done, and so polite. I’ve only been here for a few years but they are, by far, the best students I have had.”
“Well thank you very much” Steve quickly took a look at her name tag “Jemma.”
“I should be thanking each of you. It isn't often that our younger students are so easily settled and willing to learn.”
A beam of pride flew over both father’s as, despite going on paths along temporarily their paths weren't so different and they were both worried about doing something wrong. However, hearing how polite and caring their daughters are, their confidence grew as father's.
The three adults soon sat down at the teacher's desk as Jemma walked them through to plan of the year. She showed them what books they'd look at, how they'd learn simple letters and sounds, numbers, writing, and ways to integrate it into their own personal lives.
Each daughter sat by their father until a new face walked into the classroom with a baby in his arms. Watching the way Jemma's face lit up, Steve and Bucky assumed that it was her husband.
Standing up and greeting him with a small peck on the cheek, Jemma took the baby out of his arms before introducing them.
“This is my husband Fitz and our daughter Alya. Fitz this is Lottie and her father Bucky, and Sarah and her father Steve.”
Standing up to greet the new man, they all politely shook hands and introduced themselves more thoroughly before Sarah and Lottie went over to look at the baby in their teacher's arms.
Jemma slowly returned Alya back in Fitz’s arms before suggesting that he and the girls sit in the reading corner while she finishes up with the two father's. The room was full of noise and laughter. Sarah and Lottie were looking at baby Alya as if she would break if they were louder, Fitz sitting there with a smile on his face at how gentle the two girls were. While Steve and Bucky were listening and asking Jemma questions on the way their daughter’s would be learning.
“So, that about covers it. You have my work email if either of you would like to ask more questions or have worries. As well as a printed out copy of the years plan and ways you can help at home.” Jemma said while passing them the papers, finishing up the meeting.
A soft knock was heard at the door frame that got her attention.
“Heads up Jemma, we’re finishing soon.” A familiar voice said, causing Bucky and Steve to look at each other before they saw Principal Coulson at the door. “Barnes and Rogers, hoped I’d get to see you.” His voice surprised but nonetheless happy to see the two men.
Steve and Bucky stood up from where they sat and walked over to Coulson, giving him a welcoming quick hug, as Jemma stood to the side not expecting this.
“You all know each other?” She asked quizzically. Fitz, Sarah, and Lottie all oblivious to the situation.
“Oh yeah,” Coulson chuckled. “ These were my most troubled for the right reason students back in their day. Thankfully I haven’t seen their girls in my office in trouble. Yet.”
A blushing Steve and Bucky were left in the wake as Coulson raised his eyebrows on his last note.
“And you won’t. Our girls are better than us. Plus I think Peggy would whoop my ass if she found out Sarah was causing trouble.” Steve whispered, covering his mouth from the side as he said ‘ass’ not needing Sarah to hear him.
Unfortunately, he did not count on her wonderful hearing. And even though she had been oblivious to the new person in the room she yelled across the class. “Daidí said a bad language word!”
“I whispered, how did she hear me?” He asked, more turning towards Bucky out of habit. Steve would be sending a strongly worded text to Sam later for teaching Sarah to continue the phrase he hated.
“She hears as much as you sought to fight Stevie.” Bucky replied, placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder, causing him to grow into a deeper blush.
The meeting quickly came to a close, as Lottie and Sarah ran over to their father’s and before they knew they were outside the school and heading to their own separate cars. As fate would have it, they parked right next to each other so they could keep the small talk going about school as their daughters walked a few feet ahead talking about things they couldn’t hear.
Getting to a stop, Lottie and Sarah turned around to look at their father’s before Sarah let go of Lottie’s hand and walked up to Steve. Raising her arm’s up, Steve picked her up as she whispered in his ear as Bucky got Lottie in the car.
“Buck?” Steve called out, as he closed Lottie’s door. “You busy this weekend?” A smirk on Steve’s face indicated Bucky why he was asking.
“No, we’re not.” Bucky answered with a smile, glancing a look at his daughter with a smile on her face.
“Wanna come over to ours?”
“I’ll text you when we get home Stevie.” He answered with a wink.
And with that, they each got in their own cars, and Steve drove home with a warm feeling in his chest that maybe things might not go back to exactly how they were but they could still be great.