Chapter 5
The birds chirped outside and the sun shone through the small gap of Steves’ curtain creating a golden line falling over the man. It was peaceful, relaxing, and all gone too soon. Having a 6 year-old did not come with time off, and today was a clear example of that fact.
Small feet scattered from her room to Steve’s gently opening the door before jumping up on the bed. Landing with an ‘oof’ from Steve, a small giggle escaped Sarah. Looking over at the time, the clock read ‘6:46.’ Too early for him to be awake now.
“Sarah, it’s too early to be up. Go back to sleep.” Steve mumbled as he turned over, causing Sarah to fall to the same side, only adding to the laughter.
“But I want to see Lottie!” She replied at full volume, causing his ears to ring.
“Sweetie. We are seeing Lottie at 11. That's a long way away. Enough time to go back to sleep.” Steve tried arguing with her, but he didn’t like his chances of winning. And he didn’t.
Instead of sleeping in or even staying in bed for a little while longer, he found himself making pancakes at 7 in the morning.
Steve used to be a morning person. Once he, finally, got his growth spurt, he and Bucky started going to the gym and it was something he continued into college. Sam was a runner, and being his room mate, Steve decided that instead of being annoyed at being woken up early in the morning he would just join him. So then the two started their days with a run around campus and then when Peggy got pregnant, and Sam deployed, the runs became shorter until they just stopped. When Sam came back, they managed to incorporate the changes that happened to going on an afternoon jog. Timing it with just before Sarahs’ nap, hoping that the movement of the stroller would put her to sleep, they were able to return to it once a week. But, like everything, life got in the way, and they hadn’t had a stable schedule in years.
So, instead of a refreshing morning run, Steve sat at the table with his daughter as she ate the pancakes as if she had never seen food before. And he wouldn’t change it for the world.
**
After explaining how long they had to wait to go to Lotties, Steve saw it was now time to start getting ready. Pausing the movie on the tv, Sarah turned around in shock and disappointment showing that while she was a Rogers, she was also a Carter.
“Daidí, I was watching that, thank you” She said while folding her arms in a grump.
Deciding to play along, Steve relaxed back into the couch grabbing his voice before he said, “Oh, well, I guess I’ll just have to tell Lotties’ Dad that Sarah would rather watch Cinderella again.” Holding in a laugh, Sarah jumped up on the couch grabbing Steves’ hand to help her get ready.
The pair were only going to be hanging out at Lotties’ home, so Steve let Sarah pick her own outfit. And he still doesn’t know if that was the right decision. Walking out of her room, Sarah had decided on her long blue t-shirt underneath her Snow White dress she got for her birthday this year. Matching the outfit with a crown and fairy wings. A beautiful ensemble he thought, but maybe not one for a playdate. After a little debate, she then walked out with no undershirt (“you’re going to get hot. How about we bring a pretty jacket in case you want it.”) and just her Snow White dress, because it is important to wear, as well as a headband instead of a crown.
Once Steve had been able to get changed himself, they got in the car, put in the address for the GPS, and were on their way. Steve would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, but today was about the girls and not him. Yes, they would be catching up while over, but that also meant talking about their kids. And Bucky could have someone for all he knew. He saw no wedding ring, so he knew marriage wasn’t there but that didn’t mean he wasn’t engaged or had a girlfriend, or boyfriend.
The thought of that subsided as he pulled down Buckys’ street, which was only a few over from their own, and now focused on slowly his heart down before he had a heart attack before he even got out of the car. Parking in the driveway, Steve turned back to Sarah, who was bouncing out of her seat.
“Let’s go, sweetie.” He said with as much excitement that he could muster. Sarah unbuckled her booster seat, grabbing the baking that they made with Sam and Riley last night and jumped out of the car.
Grabbing her hand and walking up to the front door, Steve took a shaky deep breath, as he lifted his fist and knocked on the door on the same pattern he had for years. Fast feet were heard from behind the door as well as Lottie and Buckys’ voices before the door flew open revealing Lottie in a Sleeping Beauty dress squealing as she hugged Sarah before dragging her inside, leaving Steve and Bucky at the door.
“Uh, Hi, I guess.” Bucky laughed off, leaning against the door with a smirk on his face.
“Hi, I brought cookies.” Steve replied, moving the cookies in Buckys’ direction. Watching his face light up caused a firework of emotions to form in Steve.
“A-are these your Mas’ recipe?” He asked with a small amount of uncertainty to his voice as he grabbed the box with such delicacy you’d have thought there was a bomb inside.
Nodding to the answer, and a smile on his face Steve replied “Yeah, they’ve become one of Sarahs’ favourites.”
Moving to the side, Bucky let Steve inside, and while he went to put the cookies down Steve looked around the living room.
It was small but big enough to feel like home. The walls were covered in photos from Bucky and Lottie, to his sisters and parents, and even a college certificate. The blue couch sat against the wall, facing the mounted TV that stayed muted on a kids channel they would have been watching only minutes ago. A bookshelf stood tall next to the TV, displaying an array of items from kids toys, books, and engineering manuals. A small child's desk sat in the corner near the window, littered with crayons and paper, a reflection to Steves’ own childhood. It was a home, not just a house, but somewhere lived in.
Bucky lent against the archway between the living room and kitchen, just staring at Steve in a way he couldn't decode.
“Looks like we have lots of catching up to do, pal.” He said, trying to ease the awkward air they both felt. Steve nodded in reply, following Bucky to the round table where he put the cookies down as well as two cups of coffee.
“Still black coffee?” He asked.
“Yup. Still overly sweet, you can barely taste the coffee?” Steve answered back in reply, causing a laugh to fall from Buckys’ lips.
“You know it.” His voice was full of the fondness that Steve could remember from that boy years ago. Except he wasn’t that same boy, and neither was Steve. So, now he thought it was time to start learning about the man in front of him instead of the one he wished he was through and through.
“So.” He began, placing his coffee down. “A lot has changed in the past ten years hasn’t it?” Unsure of where to start, he pulled out the obvious statement watching as Bucky but back his laughter with a sip of his drink before responding.
“To put it simply. I guess you could say so, yeah.” He answered, running his covered band through his hair. He must have seen the small glance Steve took at it, as Bucky quickly placed it on his lap out of view. “You can ask if you want.”
The way Buckys’ voice, body language, and confidence changed when he noticed the second stare he knew he couldn't. It wasn't the first time he had noticed the gloved hand, but didn't want to ask because they didn't know each other anymore. And while Steve Rogers years ago would have asked, he knew it wasn't his place to ask just yet. Or to ask at all.
“No.” Steve started with a short shake of his head, getting Buckys’ attention. “That's for you to tell me when you're ready. Buck, we don't know each other that well anymore. I'm not going to ask something that seems very personal first.” He answered, watching the way Bucky returned back to before.
“Being a father has matured you, Stevie. Never thought I'd see the day when you became the bigger man. Both literally and figuratively.” He jabbed back, causing a smile to grow on Steve’s face as well as a blush.
“What can I say, Buck. Fatherhood really opens a mans’ eyes.” Steve responded, chuckling at his own joke, as Bucky joined in the laughter.
And there it was. For a moment they felt like Steve and Bucky again. Able to joke and laugh with ease as if they were children again, waiting for Becca to walk out of her room so they could jump out and surprise her. Of course, that didn’t go down well with 6-year-old Becca and both Steve and Bucky got grounded for a week. They still went to see the other. They were inseparable after all.
“How is your family by the way?” Steve started once they had calmed down to what they could call normal. “Sarah said that Lottie told her about her Aunty Becca owns a bakery.”
Buckys’ lips turned up in a proud smile. He was always proud of his sisters, they were off achieving their dreams and that's all a big brother could hope for.
“Yeah, she does own a bakery. Saved up and got it a few years ago. Ruth is doing great, she's in Harvard studying Law actually. Bit different than what she planned but she's loving it, doing great, and nearly finished. Mom and Dad are all good. He's still working, though less hours to ease Moms worries.” He answered with a sense of pride at how wonderful his sister's lives would be.
When Steve last heard from Ruth, she didn't know what she wanted to do. But hearing about her life now it all made sense. She always cared for others and stood up when people got put down. Especially Steve. There was a four year difference between them but that never stopped her from acting as if she was older and could protect him as much as she thought she was. Back then, he hated it. Saw himself as weak if someone younger than him was defending him. Now, he saw that she cared. And her being a lawyer made perfect sense.
“And what about you? What do you do, except for raising a child of course.”
Before Bucky could get a word out, two pairs of giggling girls came running down the stairs and into the kitchen towards their own fathers. Jumping into Steves’ arms, Sarah wrapped herself around him as Lottie did the same to Bucky. Looking over her shoulder, Bucky made eye contact with Steve sharing a small moment between the two. A moment he thought they would have together, as a family, not as two separate fathers with two separate daughters.
“And what brings you two down here?” Bucky asks, mainly Lottie, as he jokingly furrows his eyebrows.
“We got hungry, and we wanted lunch cause I told Sarah that you got us pizza and can we please have lunch now. please?” Steve gently smirked at how similar Lottie was to Bucky at that age.
Chuckling at her antics, Bucky puts Lottie down as he goes and gets the frozen pizzas’, half mumbling about an inside joke between the father and daughter that Steve only caught the tale end of. Letting them know that they would come get them when the food was ready, the girls sprung up and ran up stairs as their giggles became fainter ending with the soft click of a closing door.
And then it was just them again. If Steve was being honest, he didn’t know how to act, to sit, or what to say. It had been too long since they had heard the other's voice, and even longer since they were in the same space. He wanted to ask so many questions but knew it wasn’t his place. So, Steve sat there interacting with Bucky like he was a co-worker and not the man he was still in love with who stopped replying to him.
“I work at Stark Industries with their mechanics team. Joined the team, about 5 ish months ago.” Bucky answered the question Steve asked before the girls came down.
He saw the certificate only briefly that was hanging on the wall, unable to get a chance to read it. He knew he should have guessed what it was for.
George Barnes was also a mechanic. After leaving the army he opened up ‘Barnes Vehicle Repairs’ where he met one Winnifred (then) Brown when her car broke down on the way to visit her parents. Growing up with the Barnes’ it wasn't rare for George to pick up both Steve and Bucky from school and take them to the shop. Bucky loved it. He would watch excitingly as his father fixed many different cars. But robotics also fascinated him. As did many other career options. Being an Author, Scientist, Psychologist, or even a Teacher. Which was why he thought the Army suited him after school. Steve knew that he would come back to engineering though. He grew up with it, as well as worshiping Howard Stark and Stark Industries with all their amazing inventions. But that was a journey he had to travel himself.
“I started at low levels of being in filing and then Tony Stark came down one day and started a conversation with me. Said I wanted to be a part of the mechanical engineering team and helped me go to community college with a newborn baby. Finished up last year and he promoted me right there and then.” Bucky explained with a small blush coming to his face.
"I'm so proud of you, Buck. That's a tough thing to do with a kid.” Steve answered with a soft and pleased expression to his face.
Bucky sat there with the blush growing darker, on his face while thanking Steve for the compliment.
“What about you then? What does the great Steve Rogers do?” Bucky asked, as the blush of his cheeks returned back to his normal colour.
“Art commissions. Family portraits, scenery, some companies too. I thought about weddings but, too much work and at the age Sarah is now, I don’t think it would be a good idea.” Steve answered the question.
He did think about weddings after offering to paint Sam and Riley's wedding. It did go well, they hung the portrait with pride and always received compliments on it. After their wedding, Steve had been asked by one of the guests if he would consider another. Sam had tried to talk him into doing it, but he couldn’t ask Sam and then his Ma to watch Sarah every time he needed to leave. That was his whole reason for having a job from home. Was to be there for her, and watch her grow up. Even if the painting would take him a day out of the house and then however long he needed afterwards, he declined the offer but the thought has always been in the back of his head.
“The new painting at Starks. That is yours isn’t it?” Bucky asked, almost certain just needing the confirmation.
Steve nodded a reply. “Yeah. How did you know? My name isn’t on it or mentioned to anyone except Stark and other companies I paint for.”
With this, Bucky just chuckled under his breath taking a quick sip of his drink before looking Steve in the eyes. “Stevie, you’re forgetting that I grew up watching you sketch everything and then start painting. If anyone can know your work without a name, it’s me. And obviously your Ma.”
But that wasn’t the thing Steve wanted him to remember.
The oven timer started to beep causing Bucky to get up and get the pizzas as he called out that lunch was ready. The girls ran down the stairs acting as if they had never had food before and sat down at the table readily waiting for food. Cutting up the pizzas, Bucky grabbed out four plates placing them down in front of everyone at the table and then placed the pizzas.
Steve and Sarah stayed at the Barnes’ for a few more hours after lunch, ending with the girls trying to convince their fathers for just a little more time reminding them of the same tricks they use to play. In the end the tricks didn’t work and the old, and new, friends ended up having to go their separate ways.
“Did you have fun?” Steve asked once the car left the driveway.
“I had the best time ever! Lottie is so much fun and she has the coolest toys. Can we go back next week, Daidí?” Sarah asked with such excitement, he thought she might fly through the roof.
Hearing this, Steve just chuckled under his breath before looking in the rearview mirror. “Maybe she could come to our place, milseán.”
He wanted Sarah to make a good friend in Lottie, but he also wanted to see Bucky again. He wanted him to remember what they were, or at least bring it up. Because he was starting to wonder why he didn’t say anything to him, or even write him a letter all these years. It wasn’t like Bucky to not mention something important to them. Or maybe, it wasn’t important to him anymore, and only to Steve.