Chapter 2
The following few days continued with the same routine. Steve would wake up Sarah, make breakfast, get ready, do her hair, and drop her off to school. From then it changed as to what Steve would do for the rest of the day. Yesterday he was finishing up the small commission he had got, and today he was meeting up with Sam.
Sam only helped for a few hours every other day at the VA, needing to balance his part time job, and helping Riley. So it always meant a lot to Steve when the two could see each other.
Waiting on a table outside of a cafe, Steve sat with two coffees as he saw Sam round the corner and smiled when he came into view.
“Hey man.” Sam greeted him, grabbing him in a quick hug before grabbing the coffee.
“Good to know you're more excited about the coffee than me.” Steve replied with a chuckle as he took a sip of his own drink.
“Well you didn't have five kittens jumping up and meowing in your face demanding to be fed.” He countered back, relaxing in the chair.
“No, I just have a 6 year old daughter who I have to care for everyday and wouldn't sleep for the first six weeks of her life when her favourite hobby was screaming.” Steve laughed in response, knowing he had won that round.
“Speaking of, how is she doing with school?”
Sam always had a soft spot for Sarah, he gave her the most gifts, spent more time with her than Steve, and was always there when she needed him. So, Steve told him all she had told him. From who her teachers were, what the school was like, her favourite part of the day, and her new friend.
“She made a friend on her first day too, and I'm so glad she has.” Steve finished off with his shoulders relaxing as his coffee was down to the final drop. “Her name is Charlotte, but her Dad calls her Lottie, and that's really all I know about her. But Sarah really likes her and she sounds nice so I'm happy.” He really was happy. His daughter was happy going to school and not getting into trouble like he did. Plus Peggy was due to come home in a few weeks, a surprise to Sarah that they both decided.
“Soon enough she'll be too cool for her old man and just want to hang out with fun Uncle Sam all the time.” Sam joked, earning him a gentle punch from Steve.
The two spent the next hour catching up on family and friends, general bickering, and just enjoying spending time together. With the sun shining, bringing in the heat of the sun before it began to cool for Autumn, and a park nearby, they embraced their ‘oldmen’ personality and walked around the park.
If someone had told Steve that the roommate he had his first year of college would end up his best friend, and help him raise his daughter he would have told you to bluntly ‘fuck off.’ But here he was all those years later. Sometimes he did think it was all a dream, and had to pinch himself a few times to make sure it wasn’t. Life was good, better than good. His entire family was healthy, they had a roof over their heads, his dream job that allowed him to be there for his daughter. But when he would go off thinking he was in a dream, there was one person that reminded him that he wasn’t. And that was because he wasn’t by his side, like they had planned and dreamed since the day they met.
“You’re doing it again.” Sam said, poking Steve in the side breaking him out of his train of thought.
“Doing what?” He asked, the lie clearly on his face as he knew Sam knew him too well to believe him.
“Dude, I have been talking for the last 10 minutes, the last few about what Spongebob characters definitely hooked up, and you just kept subconsciously agreeing that Squidward and Spongebob would have fucked if it wasn’t for being a kids show.” Steves’ eyes widened. He hadn’t realised he hadn’t been paying attention for that long, or that Sam thought that about Squidward and Spongebob. That was a conversation he did want to come back to actually. “I know you’re thinking about him.” Sams’ voice went softer as the two sat down on a park bench watching as people passed by them with their own stories they would never learn.
But, Sam was right. He was thinking about him more, and he didn’t know why. They hadn’t seen each other in almost 10 years, and hadn’t talked in nearly the same time. So, why was he now on his mind, more than usual?
“I don’t know what to say, Sam. I’m just missing him recently, and I feel a little pathetic that I do.” Steve admitted. Something he didn’t do to many people.
“Steve, Bucky was your best friend your whole life and then all of a sudden, you don’t hear from him again. It’s okay to miss him, especially since your daughter is now the age you two met and she’s got her own best friend, just like you did.”
You could never forget that Sam helped people, especially when you let slip a little sadness in your life. He was also the only person, apart from Peggy, that knew the name ‘Bucky’ and the story that he met during college. They still talked during Steves’ first year that, of course they knew him, even met him before he shipped out with the army. But then half way through his second year of college the letters stopped coming, he grew distant from the idea of Bucky and his family, even though he considered them his own as well. He was broken, and Peggy and Sam helped pick up the pieces left behind.
“It’s not like I’m mad at him. I don’t know why he stopped writing, but we would always say that once I finished college and he did a few tours with the army that we would become roommates like we always talked about when we were kids. I’m happy with life right now, don’t get me wrong. I just miss Buck.” A name he hadn’t let himself say out loud for a long time he just spoke with just as much ease as his own. He knew Sam was right about why he was coming up now, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t ignore it. At least, when he wasn’t around Sam and he wasn’t asking him how he was.
“I know that, and it's normal to feel like this. Maybe you could reach out to his parents? They probably still live in the same home and you could just see, if you want.”
Steve left Sam shortly after their conversation, realising he should sort out the few commissions that were needing done within the following months. On his walk home he got to thinking about Bucky and his family. He supposed it wouldn't hurt writing a letter in case he decided to send it, so that's what he did when he got home.
Unlocking the door and heading for the kitchen, he grabbed a small snack before getting spare paper and pen and sat down staring at the page. What did you say to someone who you considered a father and a second mother?
Fiddling with the pen between his fingers, he sat at the kitchen table just starting at the page, and then at the ones he ripped out. None of them sounded right.
It's Steve Rogers, thought I would see how you are after 10 years.
I have a daughter, who is 6, and I miss your son.
Hopefully you don't find this weird but my friend, who is kind of a therapist, recommended it.
Everything sounded off and wrong. And with checking the time he saw he needed to pick up Sarah and that the letter would just have to wait. Picking up the scrunched up paper and placing it in the back of his wardrobe, knowing if it was in the bin Sarah would be curious and open it.
Even though she loved school, it didn't mean she wasn't as excited to go home to her Dad. And god knows that Steve was just as excited to see her too. Waiting at the spot that had become theirs over the past few days, Steve looked down at his fathers watch checking the time as parents gradually walked in waiting for their own kids. Looking up he saw most parents interacting with one another, and he felt left out of the parent circle. He looked to be the youngest parent there, and the only one who didn’t know anyone else. Hopefully Sarah and Lottie could have a playdate and then Steve will get some parent friends while his daughter has her own friend. At the thought of Sarah, the bell rang and out ran students every which way, and soon enough his was jumping in his arms.
“Hey sweetheart, how was school?” Steve asked, wrapping her up in a bear hug. And thus began the daily monologue of the day at school.
On today's recap with Sarah, Steve learnt that; one of her classmates had two horses, ‘not one, but two Dad’, she got to pick a book for storytime and it was one to do with paintings, the teacher gave them all name tags to decorate and she showed off the skills Steve had taught her, as well as Principal Coulson came and introduced himself to the class today.
“He said he remembered you from when you were at school, and said he hoped that I wouldn’t be as much trouble as you and your best friend were when you went to school.”
Steve, now pulling into the driveway, laughed at the statement. Of course Coulson was still there, he loved his job, except when it came to Steve and Bucky. The two spent more time in the principal's office than their classes most of the time, it was a miracle that they never fell behind. It was always Steve that made them sit on the opposite side of Principal Coulson, Bucky just never wanted Steve to fight his battles alone so he joined in and took part of the blame. Bucky was always ready to help Steve fight when he was falling behind and needed help. He sometimes wondered if that was why he joined the Army straight after school.
“And you listen to Principal Coulson, I don’t need to be getting calls every week because you got in a fight, okay?” Steve said, knowing he wasn’t even taking himself seriously.
“Yes Dad. Can I go play now?” Sarah asked and ran off as soon as Steve unlocked the door.
Sarah Margaret Rogers. Her name consisted of those who continued to fight. She was the daughter of Peggy Carter and Steve Rogers, she had been to a few pride festivals with them both, educated on being nice and standing up for others, and had the best group of people to help her grow. If that girl saw trouble at school she would do something about it. Which did worry Steve. As a kid, he never understood just how his own Ma felt when she would get the call that he had been in a fight. He always thought he did but what he was doing was right. Now, he sees that he didn’t. He knew his Ma was worried about him and always would, but to him he was strong enough to fight and that he should. Now, he just hopes that his daughter is smarter than he ever was.
“Dad!” Sarah called out, as she ran from her room to the lounge where Steve was sitting with a book. Setting it aside, Sarah sat on the couch and turned to him. “I meant to say yesterday, but I forgot, and then I remembered to say that Lottie wasn’t at school today which made me sad but I talked to some other people. But, what I wanted to say was. Lottie told me that her Aunty Becca owns a bakery and it is the best place ever and she gives her stuff all the time and let me try it and I liked it. Do you think we could go sometime?” The words ran out of her mouth at the speed of a freight train, that Steve took a second to comprehend all he heard.
“Of course, we can sometime.” He answered while his mind filled with a thousand thoughts at once. Sarah ran off back to her room after giving Steve a bone crushing hug, she may be young but that girl was strong, and left him alone to his thoughts.
Lottie has an Aunty Becca who owns a bakery. Just like how Buckys’ sister Becca always talked about. Rebecca Barnes was only a few years younger than the two boys so sometimes they let her hang out with them. Even when she didn’t and Steve was at the Barnes’ she was always baking with her Mum. He would walk home with the pair after school and while Steve and Bucky did the homework they had, Becca would race to the kitchen to try a new recipe she had seen, heard, been given, or learnt and let the two older boys be the taste testers. And there was not one time that they didn’t like the food.
One night of Steve and Buckys senior year they invited Becca and their younger sister, Ruth, to join them as they drove out and watched the stars. It was a tradition that Steve and his Ma had started when he was younger, then Bucky started coming along, then he got his licence and Sarah wasn’t able to always go so they went. And sometimes they invited the other Barnes siblings, like this one night. There was a meteor shower that night so they drove out of the city to their usual spot, got out the chairs and blankets and talked while looking at the sky. Tonight's topic, the future.
George Barnes had joined the army after high school, just like his father, and his, and so on. He had always said to Bucky to not feel the pressure to join as well, but he wanted to, so that was Buckys’ plan. Steve knew what he wanted but if he could afford it or not was another question. He wanted to go to Colombia so he could still live at home, saving at that expense. Of course, the Barnes siblings all told him he would get in and get the scholarships to go. Ruth was only 14 and hadn’t given life after school much thought but she did say if she could do anything she would want to own a bookstore. The smell and environment of books was who she was and if she could do that, she would be happy. Becca, she wanted to open up a bakery. They all knew this. She talked about it several times a week, with even a joke calling the kitchen her bakery with a sign that Steve had made. ‘Beccas’ Bakes’ was the name that they came up with and whenever she was in the kitchen the sign was up with pride as the delicious smells filled the house.
Steve sat there thinking to himself. It was just a coincidence that Lottie had an Aunty Becca, who happens to own a bakery on the same block she always wanted it to be. He had never even met the kid, he couldn’t say that Lottie was a Barnes. Could she be Buckys’? No, because Coulson would have said something about Steves’ best friend being Lotties father, right?