It's been a year since you and Professor Laufeyson started your relationship. You don't know how to name it, and neither does he, however, since you are both happy, you decided to leave nameless.
He was good for you.
It all started with sudden bumps in the library. Bookshelves always to high for you to reach (You weren't the short tipe, but you couldn't be compared to the 6'4 professor). You were in his literature class, but never though twice about the men. Sure, he was an eye candy, but you knew you couldn't stand a chance with someone like him, well-educated and handsome. You happened to be a night owl, doing all your studys during midnight in the library, nevertheless, little did you know that the same situation could be aplied to professor Laufeyson. When passing through your caotic table, with papers and books sprawled, he always gave you a simpatetic "Hello, darling". You would spend hours just a few tables apart, the high ceilling, hard and dark wooden room only iluminated by the golden lampshades on yours and his desk, lights ocassionally turning on as you ventured through the walls of books when needed.
The first one to interect with the other was him. During a tuesday night, you were worn out fisically, for spending so much time sitting while studying, and mentally, because of your anxiety, the source being a difficult test the next morning.
"I don't think you should be drinking that much coffe." You heard a voice behind you, while you were standing puring you fourth cup of the night. Turning, you saw the professor with his own mug in hands. "This is probably my last one. I just need to go through five more pages, then i'll call it a night." I say with a grin, feeling awkward, since social interactions always leaved you in that situation. He gave you a smile and went to purr his own mug.
Three weeks since that night, the second interaction occured. It was one am, a sunday night, or monday morning as some people call. You have been rummaging through the hallway of shelves for quite some time when you saw Mr. Laufeyson aproaching you. "I'm sorry, darling, but are you alright? You've been running up and down, quite fast, for a considerable time, do you need help with anything?" He questioned, observing your flushed cheeks from the quick exercise. "I'm fine, thank you. I was just trying to find the moving staircase, i can't hapen to find it anywhere." You say through shallow breaths. " I don't believe i have seen it too. But, what do you need? Maybe i can help you get it?" His voice was laced with curiosity. "I need that David Copperfield book." You say, pointing to it, in a very high shelf. Mr. Laufeyson tried to catch it, but it was also out of his reach. "I'll get a chair." He said as he strode away. When he came back, he settled to the task of getting the book. He had to get on his tiptoes, so you hold the chair for him not to falter. Suddenly, he observes. "I don't mean to be nosing in your afairs, darling, but isn't it a little to late for you to be here?" He finally caught the book and got down from the chair. "Thanks" He thanks you for holding the chair. "It is quite past my usually bed time, but i need to finish your paper for tomorrow afternoon." You say shyly, feeling embarased for being caught doing the assignment in the last minute. "I can't believe you didn't do it already! i passed two weeks ago. You won't be able to finish it until tomorrow afternoon." "I'm sorry, time moved so quickly this last few days, that it only dawned on me today that the due date is tomorrow." You explained looking at your feet. You heard him exhale, then looking at his face, he was clearly in deep thoght, his mouth in a thin line. "Look, you've always been a good student, if you promise me this won't happen again, i'll extend the due date. Only this time, you have to promise me this won't happen again." He resolved. Your eyes went wide. " Y- you don't need to, i'm sorry..." "Please, i'd prefer if you didn't do it in a rush and handed me anyhing just to say you did. Take your time. I'll give you a week." "Thank you, sir, so soo much. I promise this wont, ever, happen againg. You are very kind, sir. And thanks for getting the book to me." "You are welcome. This situations can happen sometimes. However, i thought you should really get some sleep now, i dont want you sleeping in my class tomorrow." "Yes, sir, thank you again." You responded as you headed to gather your things, happy to get to your dorms as soon as possible.
The third time you two happened to talk to each other outside class was on a friday. You were leaving his class, headed to the library, when you noticed he was doing the same path, so, consequentially, you walked together. During the walk, small talk flowed. Like the usual "how you doing?" and he asking you what you were going to study...
After a few other small bumps outside class, you two became friends. Taking breaks from studies together to drink coffe or grab a bite. Him bringing you your favorite hot beverage sometimes, when he noticed you were to busy. You buying him some food when you observed he skipped dinner. You became familiar with each other. He knew your classes schedule, and you knew his.
In some months , you had progressed to share the same table, opting for a bigger one in the depths of the library. While your half was a mess with books and papers and pens, his was neatly organized. Each seating in one end, with coffe on the middle.
You didn't call him Professor Laufeyson anymore, rather Loki, after him insisting on it. Alltogheter, of course, he also called you by your name.
It felt natural, like you belonged together. You could be yourself with him, since, from the beginning, he had already known you in some level, and never judged you and your likings. He was himself with you as well, as he knew you too weren't judgimental. With the pass of time, he ocassionaly opened up to you.
You were a good listener, so he came about to tell you about his problems and life. He was the youngest son, and his father made sure he knew he was the least favorite. His brother and mother were a bit more supportive, althought, but not much to sooth him. He also opened up to you, in one difficult night, on the verge of tears, that there were professors at the university, both male and females, who sexually harassed him, and he could do nothing because he is a man and no one would believe in him, he assured you that from past experiences. That night, you hugged for the first time, his face buried on your neck, hands holding you tight, one of your hands doing soothing motions between his shoulder blades, and the other gently stroking his hair. After that event, you became even closer.
A year had come to pass since the first time you two spoke at the library.
You both knew your relationship had come to something more than friendship, so, one saturday, at a coffe shop, you sat and talked about it. You were contious about the age gap, so you tried to make the situation the most rational possible. You would do this until it felt right, natural and pleased both of you. Of course, you set rules to make this discreet and for him to not give you privileges.
The agreement worked wonders.
It was the begging of the next year, and your classes had started with some new students. The library was more full this semester, which made you anxious, so, you told Loki you'd start to study at your doorms, but you didn't like it because it made you sleepy. That's when he offered his office to you. You said you couldn't accept at first, but he explained he was going to be there as well. The first week was a bit weird. The table was smaller, so it was difficult for you to share it. "Of course it looks small, you are a messy girl, little one. Here, let me help you organize your side." And so he did. You didn't like your things that much, but it was better than being anxious or sleepy.
You were insecure about your body, but Loki always tried to make sure to show you how perfect he thinks you are. You had oppened up to him once about you being chubby, and how you didn't match him in his slim form. The first time he asked you to ride him, you couldn't bring yourself to straddle him, so, he picked you up and sat on the couch with you on his lap. You tried to squirm off, but he just held you there. "See? not to heavy" he said in a soothing voice. "Loki, let me goo! Your thighs will be bruised". His eyes widened in shock. And that was the first time you cock warmed him during an entire movie night at your doorms, him making sure you stayed still.
Your relation progressed to kind of a bdsm one, where he loved to be your dom inside close doors. Sometimes you asked him to switch roles, which he happily agreed to, but became sad when you felt guilty for being on top of him; on this ocassions, sex was fast and focused entirely on his pleasure. He wanted to make you feel pretty the way he saw you, but you couldnt bring yourself to it.
Four months passed since the begining of classes.
It was monday, you headed to the university togheter, since you slept on his place. In the university, he became Professor Laufeyson again, and you his student. It was part of the rules. Your feelings toward one another would be reduced to a minimum, a professional facade assuming your faces and hearts. Today, thought, you couldn't help the side eye you were giving this new girl, Amanda, for getting the attention from Loki. He was giving your tests back, and when he called for Amanda, you noticed him telling her how good of a writter she was, with to much potential. It was something he said to you once. You took that complimet to the heart when he voiced it to you, so it hurt you a little to hear him say it to another girl. You beated yourself for this nasty feeling. You only felt like that because she was a girl, and you were obviously jealous. However, you just shook it of, remembering the trust he had on you, and continued with your life.
The following week, another assignment of hers was complimented, and you felt that tinge of jealousy again. You looked at yours in your hand, having received it from him with a wide smile. It wasn't that bad, was it? The grade was great as always. Not the highest one, but good nonetheless. "I could do better" You thought.
Amanda became a problem in your life. However, you never told loki, despite everything. She would recite the poems Loki asked like she made them herself and understood the feeling in each world. You beated yourself again for having to put some effort to understand some of them sometimes.
In addition, other things of hers, besides her intelligence, started to bother you. Her personality was one. She was really cheerfull, always having something to say, being friends to everyone, (a gossiper as well, as everybody knew). The other thing, was her body. She was slim, that itself already annoyed you, but, to put a cherry on top, she were stylish, everything looked nice on her.
She was the perfect combo: intelligent, thin, cheerfull and stylish. What men couldn't desire her? So, your insecurities began. You never voiced them to Loki, afraid he would, if he already didn't, notice that Amanda was the right girl for him, not you. So you began to try to change a little. You couldn't bring yourself to be as cheerfull as her, but you started to spend more time studying and less eating. "Baby steps" you thought.
It took two weeks for Loki to see the change on your behavior.
After your last class of the day you headed to his office to study, with a black coffe for you (you didn't like it that much, but it had less calories) and a caramel cappuccino for him. Arriving there, he thanked you and you both began to do your things. "You don't like your mocca anymore?" He asked. "I just want to change a bit." You say with a small smile. He decided to let it go, for now.
Another week passed. You were focused on his subject, trying really hard to get better.
You had a new assignment from his class: a poem, the main idea was free for the students to choose, no style or gender defined. He wanted to see how the class was with creativity.
You couldn't take him out of your head, so, as always, you put all your feelings on the task:
Shore waves that pass the shoulders, Shiny and tidy. Emeralds bathed by a shiny star, Reflecting kindness and lonesome. A soothing cello in an orchestra during Shostakovitch. A matching contrast between dark and light, Paleness and onix. A Dark Prince.
Homero and Proust? You can't compare to the Prince. The well-manered Charming could've been inspired on his character. Always caring. Always attentive. Althought, behind those staring, Prestative eyes, Is hidden a lonely boy, Looking for warm. This Dark prince.
You put your heart on it. Your hopes high on at least one compliment. The poem was obviously about him. No one else would know, only him would notice. It was okay. So, on the due date, you handed in.
On that weekend, you both had planned to have lunch together on sunday. Saturday you'd be visiting an old friend and he would be working on his assignments handed during the week.
Sunday morning came. You made lunch in your place, knowing he would be exhausted from last night, you knew he'd love some home made food. You heard your bell ring.
You ate together and after, you insisted on you doing the dishes, since you had nothing else to do during the day, finals having ended. "Darling, i need to speak to you." He sounded serious. "Sure, lo" He took your hand and guided you to the couch. You sat and he left a little space between you. This was odd, he was usually touchy. "First, i need to talk to you about your assignment." You swallowed, not knowing what to expect. Did he like it? You looked at him with doe eyes.
"Why did you made that?" You were taken aback.
"What do you mean?"
"Just answer as you understood, please."
" I needed to get something out of my head."
"Could you tell me what was in your head? Or, a better question, Who?"
"Y-you." You say lowly.
"I see." He took a minute to look at his hands. "You know you shouldn't have." He looked back at you.
"No one would have guessed." It´s your turn to look at your hands. You respond still in a low voice.
"We can't risk that. It's to intimate a thing a poem like that. You described some parts of me that not many people know. If someone even considered it to be me, there would be to much at stake, do you understand?"
"Sorry. It wont happen again." You almost whisper this time.
"Thank you." He sighed. "The second matter now is, why are you eating less?" He was looking seriously at you. " You've lost weight, love."
"I'm just not hungry as usual. In no time my appetite will come back."
He didn't look convinced. "You look exhausted. You've been studying to hard and eating less. Please, take better care of yourself."
"Sorry" you whispered.
"You don't need to apologize, it's just an observation. I only want the best for you." As he said that, you noded. He closed the distance between you and hugged you. You buried your head on his chest. You'd have to stop eating less, or he'd start to put thought to it. You were truly sad about the poem. You had imagined he would at least say it was good.
After your conversation, you watched a film together. You were laying on your back and he was sprawled on top of you, his head resting on your chest. One of your hands was soothing his hair, the other, under his shirt, massaging his back. You couldn't bring yourself to pay attention tho the movie, part of your mind on a haze and the other on the feeling of his skin and soft hair underneath you palms.
After the movie, you drank tea together, talking about a book he was reading and you gave him the leftovers for him to take, with the excuse that you knew he was going to work all night and wouldn't bring himself to stop to prepare a meal, so, like this, he would only need to heat it.
He left. You immediately started to overthink. Were you that bad that you couldn't get a compliment about your essays and poems out of him? Were you so ordinary and boring? After all you've studied. For nothing, aparently. That's when you decided to go back to normal and clear your head. You needed to protect yourself, to stop this thoughts, they were bad for you. You'd start to eat normally and focus more on your hobbies. You were trully passionate about piano and ice skate. Maybe if you did what you love, you'd get a healthier mental state. And, so, you started doing that.
Monday came. After his class you were due to his office to study, but now, you had other plans. You approached his table when everyone had left.
"Ready to go to my office, darling?"
"Humm, sorry, but today i want to do something else, you know. I'm going to ice skate, it's been a while since i don't practise it, i think i'd like to do it today. But good studies for you." You gave him a kiss in his well shaved cheek and left in a hurry before he could answer you. "Don't forget to eat dinner, Mister Laufeyson." You say light hearted before you left. He just stood there, bashed, trying to process what had happened. You, jumping study time? He never saw it before.
The next day, your thighs were sore, but hell it was worth it. You forgot how much you liked it. You had a blast on the ring, and, in the end, you found some of your collegues and joined them, having fun. At lunch time, you put your name on the list of the piano players, reserving some time for you there. When night came, you went to Loki's office with your customary mocca and his cappuccino. "Hi, my love, i've missed you." He gave you a peck on the lips. "Me too." you talked back. "How did it go yesterday?" He asked. "My thighs are killing me, but it was so worth it! I had forgotten how much i love it." You said with a smile. He mimicked your smile, but bigger, you could almost see some sparks in his eyes. "I'm so happy you enjoyed yourself, i've had been feeling you kinda sad lately, so it is nice to see you having fun and smiling." He joyfully said, taking your hand and guiding you to the black leather couch, meaking you leave your chair. "Oh, i'm sorry if i made you feel that, i didn't mean to." You voiced as you sat on the position he positioned you to, with your legs on top of the couch. He kneeled in front of the couch and grabbed one of your thighs, giving squeezes. "You never apologize about your feelings, not to me and not to anyone. I know you didn't mean to. Is the pressure okay?" "It´s perfect, thank you." He nodded in acknowledgment and kissed your thigh. The rest of the night went great.
During the weeks, you would leave his office a little earlier to go to the music room to play. This was a nice routine. You had made it official: two days you'd go ice skating and always you didn't have much to study you'd play the piano. Your mind was focused somewhere else now, not on Amanda and Loki (not so much, at least), but what you didn't notice, is that Loki thought you were becoming distant, so he decided to surprise you during the weekend with an afternoon tea and talk to you, if you were okay and stuff.
However, during the week, something happened. You headed to his office after class and left your backpack on the table then went to grab something you two could dinne. Seeing your backpack, he decided to unpack your things and leave everything ready for when you came back. He took off your pencil case, your tablet, your water bottle and your notebook. He always thought your notebook a thing full of personality, since you'd have the last subject dedicated to your favorite poems from the most diverse authors, quotes from movies and more. The penultimate subject is where you did some drawings and some scatches of authoral poems about your feelings, drafts of stories and other things. He opened it, eager to see what else you had added to this little artifact. You always had let him see it, so why would he ask today? Going through some pages, he landed on a draft of a poem:
The Dark prince has a lover now, she can give him the warm he needs to survive. But everyone knows that bread without a purpouse to keep living is to no use.
There is someone knew, who looks like him. A matchig for his figure and wit. I wish kindness to his former lover, for she will miss him with all she got in herself. His care, attention. His understand, his love. God, be kind. For only he will know how much she will miss his presence.
What the hell was that? He thought. It looked like a continuation of that poem you handed to him a few weeks ago. What did you mean with it? Who was this someone knew? He had so many questions, but it'd have to wait, the weekend was due to two days. He could wait, put his thoughts in order and have a good conversation with you.
You came back with two cheese burgers. While you studied, he kept giving you swifty glances. "Are you alright, love? Do you need anything?" You'd gently ask. "I'm fine, thanks, my mind just drifted." And you'd continue.
It was saturday night, he abandoned the plan of an afternoon tea. He knew you to well, you would divert the conversation that way. You needed to be more aconfortable with him when he aproached you. This was a serious matter, you were claiming there was someone else for him, someone like him, and he would leave you, he really needed to sort things out. So, he made a plan for you to open up.
He went to your dorms to pick you up to go to the movies (he knew it was your favorite place). After, he took you to dinner.
After you ordered, he asked you. "You know, i miss you so much, it's been some time since we do something more than a quicky, what do you say we do something more adult rated tonight?" He wriggled his brows with a mischievous smile at you. He knew you almost never said no, and when you did, you would give him a handjob and cuddle, so you wouldn't leave him dry. "Sure, do you have something in mind?" You asked with your brows raised. "If you are okay with it, I would like to dominate you tonight." As he voiced it, he reached for your hand that was resting on the table. "Anything for you, lokes." You said flustered, cheeks burning with the tipe of the conversation.
Getting home, you two laid on the couch to let the food get a little down first. You were cuddled when he spoke "my most beautiful thing in the world, now, we will set some rules before the did, okay?" "I bet you say that to all of them" you sayrolling your eyes and giggling "but okay." You missed his frown, this coment only added to his questions in his confused mind. "First, you know the safe words, the traffic lights system: red to stop everything right away, yellow to wait a minute, and green to keep going. if you feel like not doing something, please tell me, okay? i wont be mad, i will only be mad if something avoidable happens to you." You cup his face with both of your hands and say "My love, this is not our first time." and you finish with a peck on his lips.
You get up and stretch a hand to help him. He takes it and, in one swift movement, he was on his feet and hoping you over his shoulder. "Loki, I just ate, I'm to heavy now!!!" "Shut up, y/n." He utters bouncing you to show you how he could handle more then fine your weight. He only lowered you on the bed. You help him to undress and he does the same to you. "Lay for me, arms open." You do as he comand while he searches for a silk rope. He ties your arms to each side of the bed, allowing you to sit a little if needed. He let your legs free, he knew that, during his questions, you'd feel more safe with your legs being able to close. He gives you a peck on the lips and doesn't waste time, already mouthing one of your tits, sucking while his hands have a firm grip on your hips. By your sounds, he could tell you were already wet. He opens your legs and lay between then, each on each of his shoulders. He looks up at you and asks "May I?" "What do you think?" You sarcasticaly ask. He chuckles and dive on you. He knows he doesn't have to ask, but it sooths his mind to do so. He licks your entire womanhood and say "The dark Prince has a lover now." Another lick. "She can give him the warm he needs to survive" he keeps going, alternating between licks, sucks and reciting your poem to you.
You tense. What? Where did he get that from? The Dark Prince? How the hell did he remembered that?
"What are you doing? What are you saying?" Your stimulated, foggy brain manage to formulate.
"Isn't it familiar? You wrote it."
"But why are you saying this to me?"
"Because this poem couldn't get ou of my mind." As he says it, he bites your clit rather harshly.
"Ahh." You squeal. "Did you like it?" Hope come to you in a second. Finally, one that he liked! You had pleased him!
"No." He says as he bites you again.
"uhm." You grunt and go limp. You uncross your legs from his back and rest them on the bed. The fog on your mind going away before you can register. What was he doing? If he didn't like it, why he even memorized it? Why was it on his head? Was he going to scold you for being to bad of a writer? You try to sit a little, make some distance, but his hands are firm on your hips, he isn't letting you go, even with your wriggles. He knows you have your safe words.
"Stay still, darling." He says as he let go one of your sides and with this new free hand he pushes your belly down, stabilizing you.
"Sorry." You whimper. You can feel tears starting to form on your eyes.
"See, i have some questions about this poem. Would mind answering them now?" He asks in a gentle voice, his mouth never stopping lapping at you.
"I-I don't know." Your voice is broken, since you are trying to hold back a sob.
"Let's try. The first one, and the one who's been bothering the most: who is this someone who is alike the Dark Prince?"
"I dont remember, i invented it."
"Humm." He humms and you can feel the vibrations. "Let's try another one then. Why would his former lover miss him?" Of course he knows the answer, he can interpret the poem, but he needs to hear it from you.
"Because he will leave she." Your voice contain the sobs almost coming out.
"I see, because he will be with this new someone, who matches his 'figure and wit', right?" He quotes you and then put his tongue deep inside you.
"Loki, yellow." You pant.
He stopps and look at you, noticing your redened face. "You okay?" He asks.
"just let me catch my breath." He can tell your breaths are hasten, and you try to slow it down, eyes closing and lips pressing in a thin line. He gets of between your legs and lay on top of you, his hand on your sternun and his head resting on it, while the other on your cheek.
"Don't touch my face now, please."
He recoils his hand. He kisses your collarbone. "y/n, who is this someone?"
"I already said, i made it up. It's just a poem for god's sake." He can't criticize your writing if it is not his bussiness, can he?
"It's never just a poem with you." The misunderstanding between you is huge. He never thought you were a bad writer, he just wanted to know why you thought he was leaving you and were so convinced that even made one of the saddest poems he had ever read. And you, since he said he didn't like it, your bad thoughs brought you to think he was talking about your skills.
"What do you mean?" Your first sob come out, uncontrolable. "How did you find it? I didn't give it to you. You can't have an opinion on it when it is not an assignment." Tears roll to the side of your face. He cleans them with his thumb that is not under his hand and on top of your sternum.
"I think I can, if I am the subject."
"R-red." He gets up in a second. Untying you in silence. When you are free, he takes your wrists and massage them with his thumbs. "Sorry" he murmurs, giving each a kiss. "It´s fine, lo." You sit up on your side of the bed and bring your knees to your chest, hugging them and taking deep breaths, not loudly so not to show him how distressed you are.
"I'm honoured, for being the main subject of your creations, darling, but this is a serious matter, how did you get the though of me living you? Pray tell me." He says as he sits with his legs crossed in front of you, giving you some space, but dying to at least touch your knee to give you some comfort.
"I don't wanna tell you, because maybe i'll give you the initial spark for the thought and you'll realise that i'm right and then you'll actually leave me." You say it actually crying this time, letting go of control for real now.
"M-May i hug you, darling?" He asks, afraid of the answer being no.
"Yes." You whisper. He quickly moves to your side, embracing your shoulders and pulling you to his chest. You let go of your legs and hugg his torso. "I'll miss you so much. Just know that you meant the world for me. You made my self-loath tolerable, i will forever be gratefull for that. And your company either. Thank you for your time, i hope you enjoyed my company as well." you mumble on his chest.
"Jesus, love, this is more serious then i gave credit to." He kisses the top of your head, worry flooding his mind.
"Let's just enjoy our moments together, please, so i'll have more memorys of you." You say, calming now, taking a deep breath on his scent.
"I wish you'd tell me who this person was, so i could know what i'm dealing with. But i'll respect your time." He starts to pet your hair.
"You already know who she is. It is pretty obvious. Please don't make me say it, i don't wanna be the first one to admit."
Shit, he is thinking. How could he fix this? You are his precious girl, no one could substitute you. If he knew who this girl was, he could analise the situation and see your insecurities. "Darling, i'm truly lost, could you at least give me some tips on who she is, or else i wont be able to relax and help you."
You exitate for a moment but then speak. "She is in the same class as I. Everything she wears looks good on her. She is friends with everyone too. I think that is enough."
He gives a chuckle. "Silly little girl, you just described yourself to me." He laughs.
Your eyes widen. "No, Loki!" Your voice is high pitched, which means you are in a vulnerable space now, your emotions are more at sigh for an external person. He pulls you to his lap and you rest your back on his chest, enterwining your fingers. "She is lean. She is not tall nor short. She recites poems like she made them herself. She is truly good at what she does."
"Gosh, doll, you do think to high of this girl."
"But it's all true. You really like her either." You say nonchalantly, playing with his fingers. The way you said truly got him mad. Who the hell did he like that was not you?
"Okay, the only real clue that i have now is that she is not short nor tall and is lean."
You sigh. "I'm sorry, but i can't give you anymore clues, i've said enough."
It is his time to sigh now. "At least you have calmed, little one."
"Yeah, i've thought about it now, and i'll just acept the situation, i need to let you go if i love you. Like the poets say." That truly got him mad. What the hell??
He spins you on his lap, so you are facing him and stradling him. "Stop saying this!!!" He shake your shoulders. "I will not leave you, stupid little girl, you are making me sad!" His eyes are wide and you can see desperation in them.
"I'm sorry, lo. I didn't mean to make you sad. But, i think now you are truly disapointed at me." You say, looking to your thighs stradling him. He still doesn't let go of your shoulders. "I think there is no more reason to hide her idendity anymore. She would never do such thing to you." You whisper, closing your eyes. "It's Amanda." You let it out in an exhale.
He doesn't answer.
Amanda? That's the girl you admire so much. To the point where you think she is better for him? He looks at you with an unreadable expression. He doesn't know what to think. So, he acts in instinct. He huggs you thigt and whisper in your ear. "I won't leave you for Amanda. I don't like her the way i like you."
"Are you shure? You two are a perfect match. You are both lean and gorgeous and are in the same intelectual level."
"Gosh, y/n. How can you say that? How can't you see that you are the perfect match for me? Your body is perfect in it's own way, i love it for caring something so precious as you, i worship it with my eyes and mind everytime i see you but can't touch you. I wanna make you learn to love yourself. And intelectual inteligence? Since when is she smarter than you?"
"Yo-you always compliment her assignments, giving long praises. And once, i heard you saying that her poems were really good, she had talent and shouldn't stop it. You really appreciated to read them. An-and you only ever said that to me before, and it was a truly unforgetfull moment when you said it to me, i felt special and good at something for once in my life. So, consequentialy, hearing you say it to some other girl really took it's tool at my heart. Then, after i heard that, i tried hard to get better at your classes, but it didn't work. Moreover, now, hearing you say you didn't like my poem, it just felt to much." You say it all between sobs, with your eyes shut close, brows furrowed, head down. "I can't believe i just said this to you. I'm so embarassed!" You cover your face with your hands.
"Hey hey hey, you got me wrong before, little one. I said i didn't like your poem because it was written that i was going to leave you and it was one of the sadest things i have ever read. But you write marvelously. Your poems are always so full of passion and feelings. They are full of references of books and movies and philosophical thoughts, that even i, sometimes, find it kinda difficult to read them, having to search the meaning of things. And other times, I have to read three times to really get everything you meant. You are brilliant, y/n. Amanda's poems just have simetrica, but not half of your passion and intricate quotes and examples and lines and thoughts. She could never be better than you for me. She is the most gossiper girl at Uni, i don't think i could tell her half of what i tell you. You make me fell safe, like you are my rock. Don't ever doubt yourself towards me. I'll always be here for you, like you always are for me, never laughing at anything i have to say to you and making it something that matters. I love your company like no other, if you were to miss me , i would miss you five times more. Gosh, you are perfect, body and mind. I won't leave you. You do not annoy or bore me, y/n."
You put your head on his chest and cry harder.
"You should tell me this feelings, not bottle them up. It's been quite some time since you gave me the first part of that poem. How could you keep feeling that without having a break down?" He asks while he plays with your hair.
"I had, to many break downs in my chambers, i would probably have another one when i got home tonight."
"Jesus, you need to tell me this feelings, or you will get sick. Is that why you've been distant this last few weeks?"
"Yes, i wanted to give you space to think, so i tried to distract myself with some things i like to do, like the ice skating and the piano. I also tried to loose weight for you, but you didn't seem to like it, so i stopped it."
"Oh, i remember you eating less. So this is what that was about? I can't believe you did that! You love to eat, you shouldn't have stopped."
"I'm sorry. I'll only do it again when you ask me, from now on."
"I'll never ask you to do such thing! If you are hungry, you should eat, always!"
You look up at him. "So, you are honestly not leaving?"
"Of course not!"
"Thank you."
"Certainly, y/n."
"Can we just cuddle now, for a moment?"
"Sure." He says lowly, putting the blanket on top of you two.
"So, do you really play the piano?"
"You didn't know?"
"No! That's incredible."
"I play a little, not very very well. Only a few musics."
"You need to show me sometime."
"If you wanna put yourself through hearing me..." You chuckle.
"Of course i want. I can't wait now."
You stay in silence for a moment before he speaks.
"I was serious when i said you should talk to me about that kind of feelings. Don't ever hide from me again, okay? Promise me."
"Okay. I promise. I just didn't want to be an inconvenience."
"When i open up to you, do you think i'm being inconvenient?
"Of course not. Never."
"Well, i think the same about you. Never be afraid."
You kiss his chest in response.
"Do you wanna go ice skating with me tomorrow?"
"Actually..." He blushes "i don't know how to."
"Really? You look like someone who would skate so gracefully! I have to teach you now. I'll unlock a new skill for you to master, tomorrow."
"If you won't laugh to much at me when i fall, it would be a pleasure to acompany you."
"Then it's settled."
"Do you wanna go to sleep now? We could have more pillow talk."
"If you don't mind, i'd like to continue like we stopped before."
"i will get the rope!" He says, excited with the idea.
"No no." You say, putting your hands on his chest to hold him down. "Now the roles will be changed. Splay yourself on the middle of the bed for me." You voice getting up, a playful grin plastered on your face.
"You naughty creature." He says with a huge smile. A tinge of pride painting his feelings, seeing you confident.
He did as asked. You come back and tie him thigt, just how he likes. "May i tie your legs too, my love?" He nodds eagerly. When he is on your disposal, you sit beside his hips and lean over his legs, your mouth hovering his cock. You stroke it a few times and lick the tip. Gentle licks and slow sucks.
"Kitten, faster, please."
"Kitten?" You chuckle.
"Y-yes." He moan the word as you swallow him until it hit the back of your throat. You ministrate him until he comes in your mouth.
You swallow what you can, but some dripped on your chin. You clin with the back of your hand and straddle his waist, sitting on his now flacid cock. You put your hands on his pectorals and start massaging it with a little pressure. He closes his eyes and shift his hips under you, relaxing more.
"You are heaven."
"Glad you think so, love." You massage his abdomen too, knowing that that was a sensitive spot of him and feeling proud of yourself for him letting you touch it as you please. After, you catch his shoulder blades, which are on the side of his ribcage, beacuse of his position, and undo all the knots he has there (and gosh, he has quite a lot). He is putty in your hands by the time you finish. You sit a little behind and catch his dick on your hands, stroking until it is hard again, which does not take long. You get on top of it and sink slowly until you bottom it. He hisses. "Is it to much? Do you need a break? You do know that the traffic light system work for you too, right?"
"You do not dare to stop, kitten. It's just to good, that's all. And don't worry about the safe words, i'll use if necessary, don't worry."
You start to move slowly, getting used to the feeling of him inside of you. After some time your movements hasten and you are panting on top of him. "Do you prefer griding or bouncing?"
"Whatever pleases you more." He pants between shallow breaths.
So, grinding it is. After some minutes you come on him, and not long after, you not having stopped your grinding, he comes too. You fall on top of him, your sweats mixing. You stay like that for a while, in a comfortable and blissfull silence. Then, you sit up and begin to untie him. He stretches and sit up, taking you in his arms. "I'm so proud of you, you didn't apologize for your weight today. Keep like that, i like it." He says near your ear and you blush hard. You look up and say. "I think we are due to a shower Mr. Laufeyson."
"Go prepare it while i change the bed sheets."
You get up and give him a peck on the lips before heading to the bathroom. He can't stop smiling while acting on his task, fancing a relieve that you finaly opened up to him and he was capable to administrate your insecurities. But is scolding himself altogheter now for not noticing that your withdrawn was caused by jealousy and lack of his attention. He feels guilty for not praising you enough, since he knew you needed some constantly. Gosh, it must have been hell to you to see him acting like that to your collegue and only scolding your poem for being inapropriate and telling you he didn't like it. However, he would do better from now on.
"it's ready." He hears you say from the bathroom. He enteres the room and see you already under the spray of water. He joins you. "Do you want me to wash your hair?"
"No, thanks. I'll wash it tomorrow. If i do now, it won't dry in time to sleep." As you state that, you take the wash cloth and soap it, getting out of the water so he can get under. You soap yourself and before you can finish it, he takes the washcloth from you and spin you around, passing it all over your back. You humm a thank you comment and he only kisses the top of your head. After you are clean, you get under the spray of water and you soap him, taking your time to observe the valleys of his sculpted body. Then, he gets under with you.
After the shower, you put your favorite pajamas and he, just a boxer and a tshirt. You cuddle in bed.
That night, you really rested after some good time not being able to.
The next day, you had never seeing someone ice skate so bad as him. But all the while he was on the ground, he observed every swept of your feet, and how gracious you looked. He had to come with you more times, he thought.
During the month, he didn't treat Amanda less, because it was his job, he had to be honest with the girl about her writing. But, then, he increased your praises. He had never seen you so happy and light. All that pressure you put on your self and self depressiation about your writting had almost disapeared, and consequencially, your poems became more happy too, without that costumary saddenes etched to it. He should have done this sooner, the transformation was marvelous! It was just simple and subtle praises here and there, in order to not draw attention from anyone else, but the way it worked surprised him. He noticed you didn't need much to be cheerfull, just some encouragement now and then. Secretly, he felt guilty for letting you get at a such mentall state that you even started to eat less for him and had withdrawn almost completely. Now he had seen your playfull and mischievous side, he would do everything possible to avoid you going back to that dark place.