Chapter 17
It’s the morning of January 6th and Maya is very excited. She is finally going home.
Her stay at the hospital was a bit longer than expected but Amelia assured her that all she needs are a few final tests and she will be good to go - as long as she promises to rest and do her physical therapy.
Maya just smiled at the threatening tone of the neurosurgeon. It was coming from a place of care and genuine concern and she couldn’t be mad at that.
The last twelve days she spent in the hospital total were filled with many moments of self-reflection and realization. She had two more sessions with Diane while she stayed at the hospital, which helped Maya understand her healing process and her recent trauma.
Her time with Carina was… magical. That’s the only word Maya can think of to describe it.
They have been slowly but steadily finding their way back to each other.
Maya can see Carina getting more relaxed and less agitated as she slowly stops waiting for the other shoe to drop. The Italian is starting to open her heart to Maya again, to trust Maya again. And that is a feeling that the blonde holds in her hands with the biggest care and devotion in the world.
She is so fucking grateful for the doctor giving her another chance.
She even got a short and soft kiss on her lips at the New Year’s. It was so delicate, precious and pure. It was like a promise and a beacon of hope all at once.
It was just the two of them at the turn of the year. They earlier had a small party with Andy, Vic, Travis, Jack, and Amelia at Maya’s hospital room - and it lasted until visiting hours were over.
As the days followed, they continued to talk openly and sincerely about their feelings. Carina was always there with her, during every PT session, every scan.
Maya could feel them getting closer, sharing more touches and loving stares. During a visit, Vic even whispered to the blonde: “Seems like you’re getting your girl back, Bishop.”
Still, she was mindful of Carina’s need for time and space.
When Amelia first mentioned her impending discharge, the neurosurgeon made a point to highlight how Maya shouldn’t be alone and should just rest - a lot.
Maya was quick to suggest that Andy and Vic could take turns staying with her, promising she would follow all the medical instructions.
She didn’t want to pressure Carina or just assume that the Italian would stay with her.
It was only when Amelia left the room that Carina spoke up.
“I would like to stay with you.”
The sentence made Maya’s heart almost leap out of her chest.
“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you. If you’re not ready, it’s okay.”
Carina looked uncharacteristically shy. “Maybe I can stay in the guest bedroom?”
“Of course. Or you can take our… uhm… the main bedroom if you prefer. It’s okay.”
She was going to say “our room” before panicking and rephrasing it.
“No need. The guest bedroom is good.”
The brunette fought the urge to call it “our bedroom” too. There was still something holding her back.
So it was decided that Carina would stay with Maya.
And that is a very significant cause of her nervousness and eagerness to leave the hospital and go home with Carina.
Go back home with her wife, the love of her life.
It almost feels like a dream. After months of pure hell and loneliness, they would finally be in their home together.
A knock on the door draws Maya’s attention away from the clock and to Amelia.
And for once, the neurosurgeon doesn’t tease or joke with Maya. This time Amelia Shepherd decides to go straight to the point - she just wants the couple to be happy and relieved.
“Time to go home, blondie!”
The smile that blooms on Maya’s face almost breaks it in half.
“Really? I can go home?”
The blonde asks to confirm it, so very happy to get the best news of the year. She looks at Carina and finds a matching look of pure bliss on the Italian's features.
“Yep. You are free to leave as long as you promise to follow all the recommendations.”
“I promise.”
“Of course you do. You’re a smart girl, firefighter Barbie.”
With a hug from Carina, Amelia exits the room saying she would just get the discharge papers ready.
A little over an hour later Maya is in a wheelchair on her way out of the hospital. It's just her and Amelia as Carina left to get the car.
"I'm really glad you're doing better, blondie. Take care of yourself, okay?"
"I will. And thank you, Amelia, for saving my life and being a great friend to Carina."
The neurosurgeon smiles smugly. "I am just that good of a doctor."
Maya laughs and nods but it doesn't last long as the doctor leans over her with a very serious look on her face.
"I don't care how tough and strong you are, Bishop, I will kick your ass if you hurt her again."
The blonde just nods, hoping Amelia can see how sincere she is.
"I'll work hard every day to be the best wife for Carina. I don't ever want to hurt her again."
The brunette takes a moment, looking deeply into the blue eyes, and gives her a warm smile.
"I believe you." The woman pauses as she sees the Porshe approaching. "Now, Firefighter Barbie, go home to that gorgeous Italian woman of yours."
Maya turns to see Carina stepping out of the car and her breath hitches. God, Carina is the most beautiful and amazing person in the whole world. How did she get so fucking lucky?
The Italian gives her a warm smile and Maya can feel her face blushing intensely.
"Ready?"
The lieutenant has to clear her throat as she nods enthusiastically.
"Ready."
The first hours at the apartment go by a little awkwardly. Seeing Carina put her bag in the guest room makes Maya's chest hurt but she tries to focus on the fact that she is there.
Carina is there at their apartment. She is home.
And that is a monumental step. It is far more than Maya could ever imagine she would see a little more than a week ago.
The lieutenant is glad that Vic and Andy have cleaned the apartment and stocked the fridge for them. She is also especially happy that two weeks ago she put all of Carina's art back on the walls. Shortly after she came back from the 5150 stay at the hospital, she put everything away. It was just too painful.
Now, she has not only Carina's things back in the apartment but the woman herself is there. It's like there's light in the apartment again. Everything just looks better and right. For Maya, at least.
However, the firefighter can feel how uneasy Carina appears to be at times. It's like she's not as comfortable in their place. And damn, that hurts more than brain surgery.
But Maya is determined to make things right. If the apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, they can move. If the place is haunted by bad memories, they can find a new one and start fresh.
She will do everything in her power to make sure that Carina feels safe and happy again.
And they have made so much progress. They have come such a long way since they first saw each other in the ER when Maya had a sleeping Lucy in her arms.
They spend a quiet day. Maya takes a long nap while Carina does some work from her computer, updating charts and keeping track of her patients.
It's early evening and the Italian is working on dinner while Maya sits on the kitchen stool, watching attentively as Carina graciously moves around the room, grabbing pans and ingredients.
Maya feels a wave of warmth and love overcome her.
That's what she wants forever. To be in Carina's presence forever.
And she knows that today is an important day. Per the Italian culture, today is the last day of Christmas - the Epiphany.
Although they had a pretty terrifying holiday, with Maya spending most of Christmas Day on an operating table or sedated, she wants to make this right.
She knows how much Christmas means to Carina. She knows how hard it was for the Italian to find joy in the holiday again and it kills her that she ruined it for them. She hates how she took that away from her wife.
So she decides to try to fix that, even if it's the very last day.
"I'm going to grab something in the room and I'll be right back."
She says quickly as she stands up and moves with her not-at-all-flattering walking stick - her ankle sprain still giving her a bit of a hard time.
Maya goes to their dressing drawer and gets a package that she has been hiding there for three months now. It was Carina's Christmas gift that she bought about a month before the treadmill incident.
She remembers for a split second, when she received the email alert when she found it, feeling light and happy. It didn’t last long, her darkness all-consuming at the time, but she still bought it.
She also remembers the pain of receiving that package delivery once she was alone at home, with a busted ankle and shattered heart.
Now, however, everything is different.
Carina is there. And Maya cannot hold onto it anymore. She needs to give it to Carina. No matter what happens to them, she needs Carina to have it.
Slowly, the American moves back to the kitchen. She is now getting increasingly nervous about the gift and the brunette's reaction.
Will it be too much? Will it be too soon?
She walks to the couch, needing to be in a more comfortable seat than the kitchen stool.
"Carina, could you please come here for a moment?"
The Italian frowns, hearing a tremble in Maya's voice, and moves quickly to the living room.
"Are you okay? Are you feeling any pain? Is it your head?"
The lieutenant immediately shakes her head, cursing herself for already making this stressful.
"I'm okay. No pain. I just need to give you something."
Maya says as she pats the couch, hoping Carina will take a seat. When the brunette does, the firefighter takes a deep breath, preparing herself.
"I want to apologize for this Christmas."
"Maya…"
"No, please. I know how hard the holiday can be for you and I messed up. I made it feel lonely and horrible again, and I am so very sorry, Carina."
The Italian looks down and Maya can see her fighting tears.
"But today is La Befana and I want to give you something."
At the words, Carina looks up surprised. La Befana was a big important holiday in Italy and she had loved spending it with Maya before, showing her the culture and telling stories about the witch who delivers presents to Italian children.
"You remembered?"
"Of course I did. Last year you gave me a GI Joe!"
The memory makes the OB chuckle and nod, still fighting back tears.
"I wasn't sure if this would be too much. But I just need you to have it. No matter what happens from here on, I want you to have this."
Maya places the package in Carina's hands, her own is shaking.
The doctor starts to open it and the moment she sees the cover of the book, Carina’s breath hitches and she feels her heart stop. The tears escape freely as she finds herself unable to hold them anymore. Not when she just received one of the most beautiful gifts of her life.
Maya had found it.
It was the 30th Anniversary Special Edition of the book La Freccia Azzurra.
When they first started talking about kids, Carina told Maya, one day spent lazily on the couch reading research articles and fire protocols, how she wanted to read Andrea’s favourite book to their kids. How she could still remember her brother's bright eyes as she read the story to him when he was little. He loved the illustrations.
She told Maya how the book was lost when Andrea and her mother moved to the States and how her brother was upset about it.
Maya kept that in mind and since then searched every bookstore online, in the US and Italy for that book. She wanted to give it to Carina. She wanted to make that dream come true.
Carina is at a loss for words as she looks at the book as if it is the most precious object she has ever seen.
And for her, in that moment, it truly is.
"I love you, Carina. I know we still have a long way to go. I know I need to earn back your trust and your love. All I want now is to be healthy and build a family with you. And I can only hope to be there when you read this to them for the first time."
Them. Their children. Their kids. Their future.
Maya sees Carina take a deep breath and looks deep into her eyes, finding those caramel orbs that are so beautiful and filled with emotion.
"There are no bambini without you, bella."
The words come out almost in a whisper but the blonde hears them very clearly. And it is by far the most incredible thing she has ever heard.
It was everything she ever wanted to hear - even if she hadn't realized that until that very moment.
Before she can even react, Carina is pulling her for a breathtaking, life-changing kiss. There is hunger and devotion and hope and, above all else, love. So much love.
When they break apart, they both feel lightheaded and dazed.
They both open their eyes at the same time, finding matching grins of happiness and delight.
"Buon natale, bambina."
"Merry Christmas, my love."