burning pile

Another week passed and, still, Dorcas was no closer to figuring out her abilities, though she had grown quite good at hand to hand combat. She could even almost beat Mary. Almost. Her strange interactions with Marlene continued too and they were still no closer to having a normal conversation again. Though, when was anything normal with Marlene McKinnon?

Anyway, most of the others had been sent out on a mission in order to protect a Muggles house from Death Eaters and so Dorcas was left to her own devices for the evening and rounded up being ridiculously bored. That’s why she found herself sneaking into Marlene’s room to loot through her record collection and maybe (just maybe) borrow a few more of her band shirts- they were really comfortable, okay? Surprisingly, the blonde had good taste- Blondie, The Runaways, Queen etc. Dorcas brought out one of the Blondie albums and ran her fingers over the cover with a small smile- she had a few of these back home. Well, she used to. Frowning, she put it back and stood up, freezing when she heard the door open. 

“I’m not going to even ask,” Marlene muttered, sounding uncharacteristically dismal. Dorcas turned to face her with a guilty look that morphed into one of concern when she noticed the blood soaking through her shirt where Marlene was holding her side.

“Are you okay? What the fuck happened?” she asked as the door was closed and Marlene began to make her way to the bed. 

“What does it look like?” she bit back, “there were more Deatheaters than we thought. We beat the bastards anyway…”

“Okay- then why aren’t you at the infirmary?” she asked incredulously.

“The others were worse… Didn’t need them wasting time on me,” she shrugged and sat down, scrunching her face up in pain. 

Dorcas shook her head with a small scoff, “You’re an absolute moron. Where’s your first aid kit?”

Marlene just stared at her for a few moments, “Bathroom cupboard.”

Nodding, Dorcas went and grabbed the first aid kit, cursing herself for having such bad luck. But… if Marlene’s hurt then she needs help. It also means that she can’t run away from Dorcas this time-maybe she’d actually get their relationship (if you’d even call it that) back to what it was. 

“So are you going to tell me what really happ…ened…” Dorcas’ train of thought halted as she came back into the room, seeing Marlene take her shirt off with no ounce of shame. 

“What?” she huffed, “you’ve seen it before.”

Oh so now she was acknowledging it?

“Yes well,” she pressed her lips together in annoyance, “I was actually staring at the massive slash on your side.” She wasn’t. 

The corners of Marlene’s mouth twitched, reducing the threat of her cold glare. Dorcas rolled her eyes and went over, kneeling on the floor in front of her and opening the kit. 

“How did it happen?”

Marlene’s eyes tracked her every move as she got a wipe and reached over, hesitating until she received a nod in affirmation, allowing her to begin to wipe the blood away. The room suddenly felt very hot.

“Like I said, the Deatheaters were there as we expected. But we were pretty outnumbered… I was fighting with one of them and had just won so I didn’t think much and let my guard down. My powers drain my energy y’know…” 

Dorcas nodded, glancing up and finding Marlene’s eyes already trained on her. She looked away.

“Well I didn’t hear Barty fucking Crouch come behind me until after he’d slashed me with the knife and helped the other guy up. I would’ve gotten that bastard back if they hadn’t run away like bloody cowards-”

“You might have gotten injured again.”

“I wouldn’t have. I can hold my own, thank you very much-”

“I know that Marlene,” Dorcas cut in sharply, looking away from her and back at her wound which was thankfully not fatally deep, “What I meant was, I’m glad you didn’t get hurt again.”

“..Oh.”

Yeah. Oh. With a small huff, Dorcas took out the needle and was about to sow her up until Marlene took it off of her, “I can do it.”

Tentatively, Dorcas nodded and watched as she began to sow herself up with barely a flinch. Whilst Marlene was focusing on herself, Dorcas took time to really look at her and discovered that her back was covered in thick and jagged scars that were certainly not new. Without realising, Dorcas had reached out and gently traced the largest one, starting at her shoulder, with her fingertips causing Marlene to freeze. 

“Who did this to you?” Dorcas whispered. 

Marlene didn’t reply and continued stitching herself up, though her hands were trembling. Silently, Dorcas reached out and placed her hand on top of hers, taking the needle and finishing the job off herself. She only spoke once Marlene’s breathing had steadied again.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“I know.”

“But you can. If you want to.”

“... I know.”

Finishing off the stitches quietly, Dorcas’ hand lingered and she met Marlene’s eyes once again.

“Can I ask you a different question then?” 

“I knew you weren’t finished,” Marlene chuckled but winced after, “you always have more questions.” 

Dorcas frowned, “And? So what? I’m a curious person.”

“Mhm, and a defensive one,” she smirked and Dorcas found herself relieved to see her acting more like herself, “yes you can ask another question but I can’t promise I’ll tell the truth.”

She rolled her eyes, “Fine. Do your powers not make you basically indestructible? Can you not like… Turn into stone and heal yourself, then turn back?” 

Marlene hummed and shook her head, “if something happens to my original form it stays that way, whereas if I get injured in another form it mostly disappears when I turn back. I do heal much quicker than average, though.”

“Mostly disappears?” Dorcas raised an eyebrow and Marlene grinned. 

“Well I don’t really want to test the theory of whether my limbs would grow back, do I?”

“What a shame.”

“You’re so mean to me.”

“I know.”

They settled into silence once again and Dorcas pulled her hand away from where it was resting on Marlene’s thigh, trying to think of something to say. As much as she hated to admit it, she wanted to know more about Marlene. Her experiences, her feelings, her thoughts; Dorcas wanted to discover everything that made up Marlene’s being. Being this magnetised towards someone scared her, especially as she found the longer they spent away from each other the more longing she felt to be around her, despite the annoyance she seemingly felt in her presence. She should not feel this way, she couldn’t. And yet…

“I think this is the longest conversation we’ve actually had without screaming at each other.”

Dorcas tried but couldn’t stop the soft smile that creeped onto her lips, “Yes, well, I’m feeling nice today. Plus it’s mainly out of pity seeing as you’re injured.”

“Oh my dear enemy, how your company soothes the agonising pain that consumes my being. Please, I fear if you leave I shall never rise again!” Marlene cried out dramatically, falling onto her back and covering her eyes with her arm. 

Dorcas swatted at her leg, “You idiot, you’re going to ruin your stitches.”

She lifted her arm up with a grin, “Oh no no no. Dorcas Meadowes’ work must never be ruined.”

“Shut up,” Dorcas bit her bottom lip, “do you really think of me as an enemy, Marlene?”

There was a long pause, and Dorcas feared the answer that may follow. There was no need to. 

“Of course not,” Marlene mumbled, “you’re not them.”

She nodded, pursing her lips, “What am I then?”

“Well… I’d like for you to be my friend. For now.”

“Friends… For now,” Dorcas repeated with a small smile which Marlene returned. 

The silence that followed was strangely comfortable and Dorcas had to fight to not stare at the girl that was making her stomach flutter and her hands ache to reach out and feel her warmth once again. Her fingers twitched and so she tried to busy herself with putting away the first aid, pointlessly counting everything and reading the labels so she wouldn’t have to come to terms with the fact it felt like her very soul and being was calling out to Marlene, not just her body. Though, she couldn’t help but listen closely in case Marlene’s was calling back out to her too. 

“Well I uhm- better be going,” Dorcas muttered, going to stand up but coming to a stop when she felt a hand slip around her wrist. 

When she looked back she found Marlene looking up at her almost desperately, sending a shiver down her spine. 

“Stay,” she pleaded gently, “just for a little longer?”

Dorcas felt her defences shatter and any chance of pushing Marlene away again crumbled right in that moment as she nodded and sat down again. Marlene’s hand did not move, as if she was afraid to let her go for fear she wouldn’t ever return. Dorcas knew that wouldn’t be the case. No matter how hard she tried, she didn’t think she would ever be able to stay away. 

“What’s your favourite colour?”

Dorcas furrowed her brows, “What?”

Marlene bit the inside of her cheek before looking up at her, “If we’re going to be friends we need to know stuff about each other. So… What’s your favourite colour?”

“That’s a very deep question, you know.”

She rolled her eyes, “Merlin, just answer the question, Princess.”

“Purple,” Dorcas replied with a small smirk, “What’s yours?”

“Fitting. Mine’s red.”

“Fitting.” 

Marlene nudged her playfully, gazing at her with an open yet unreadable expression. Dorcas gazed back, entranced by the soothing green of her eyes. They were truly beautiful; it was as if Dorcas was surrounded by nothing but nature and its tranquillity allowing her to feel at home and to feel safe, leaving all the troubles of her past, present and future behind. Marlene’s thumb brushed over Dorcas’ pulse, causing her breath to hitch and realise how close they had become once again. 

“I know- I know you didn’t want to before but the same goes for you. You can talk to me about what happened,” Marlene said carefully, “Things are… complicated. With us. But that doesn’t mean I won’t try to be here for you. If you need it, that is.”

Dorcas pulled away from her, folding her arms over her chest and staring at the floor. The weight of it was crushing her, but it felt like tearing open an old scar over and over again whenever she thought back to that night, bleeding her dry every time until she felt hollow and barren. But maybe- maybe Remus was right. Maybe she just needed to stop isolating her pain and grief and pass some of the weight on before the pressure crushes her. And God, she was getting tired of constantly feeling alone. So, she took a breath and began talking.  

She talked of how her family never spoke about the so-called ‘mutant threat’ and would simply ignore all the pain and suffering that was happening, simply because it didn’t involve them. At the time, Dorcas had no problem with that way of living because it meant that things were simple and easy. That was until a close friend of hers was taken for showing her mutation which she had managed to hide from Dorcas for years. This had snapped her out of her blissful ignorance and for a year or so she began to realise how cruel and unjust everyone was towards these people who had no control over their own genes and did not deserve to be killed for who they are. Eventually, she brought it up with her parents, suggesting that mutants were not the mindless, power-hungry monsters that they were made out to be. They did not agree. 

“They just kept going on about how it was his fault for getting caught and that he was as bad as the rest of them- us… Koen came down and tried to defend me too and calm everyone down. But it was too late. I was just- I was so angry and frustrated… I lost control. I couldn’t stop until everything was burning. I was a completely different person Marlene I- I was a monster and I killed them.”

She choked on her last words, taking a deep and shaky breath, this time letting her tears fall freely. Terrified of her reaction, she did not dare look at Marlene. 

After a few moments of silence, she felt a warm hand on her shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. 

“Dorcas… You’re not a monster,” Marlene whispered, “you didn’t know what would happen and it’s okay. I know it hurts and- and you may feel like the guilt is swallowing you whole but I promise you- you’re not alone.” 

And there it was, a spark. What that spark was, Dorcas didn’t know. But what she did know was that she would treasure it for the rest of her life.