A Million Exploding Suns

Harley tossed and turned in bed. Covers and blankets felt heavy on her like an anchor falling down to the sea bed. She frustratingly threw everything aside and sat up. She turned to the bedside table, turning on the lamp. The alarm clock read 2:00am. She got up and stretched. Harley walked to her nook where she kept her books and supplies for witchcraft. She grabbed a small candle, moon water, lavender, sage, chamomile, rosemary, and a silver tray. Harley set the candle in the middle of the tray, placed the herbs in a circular pattern then poured moon water. She sat there thinking about her intentions and finally lit the candle. A small ritual her mother used to ground her herself. She let her magic flow from her and… nothing. She felt nothing. She blew on the candle and extinguished the fire. Harley wanted to scream out of frustration. She felt so useless. Harley decided to walk around the tower, in the hopes that it will make her tired. Maybe it would clear her mind. 

The chill of the building made her skin prickly. Harley was in shorts and a large t-shirt that seemed to swallow her up. Fuzzy slippers lightly thudded on the hardwood floor. Harley went to the kitchen. She grabbed a plain rice cake and continued walking around. Passed the dining table, couches, tv, and bar, she made her way to the large windows. New York, the city that never sleeps, she thought. She wondered how many people were awake at this hour. She sighs heavily, munching on her rice cake. I'm not gonna get some- A noise derailed her thoughts. It startled her, making her drop her rice cake. She snapped her head to see a familiar figure. 

It was Bob who was walking towards her. He made a content hum when he got to her. They stood side by side without a word. Harley could feel heat coming from Bob's body. Powers as strong as a million exploding suns, Harley thought, repeating Valentina’s words from when they first met. Bob’s body heat was quite welcoming. It only made Harley want to be closer. A moment had passed and the silence became unbearable.

“Can't sleep, huh?”, he said looking out the window. Looking down at the people and cars below. Harley looked at Bob who was still looking below and finally answered. “No”, Harley said displeased. 

A beat passed, still staring at Bob. “Bucky must be snoring like a baby”, Bob said amusingly. He smiled. Harley smiled back at him. “Wanna go sit on the couch?”, Bob said. “I wanna talk”, he added, turning to face her. 

Harley's stomach dropped, heartbeat racing. Bob sensed this and grabbed her hand gently. It in fact made it worse. Harley wanted to pull away, but at the same time, she didn't want to let go. She followed him, not caring for the forgotten rice cake that was discarded on the floor.

Bob and Harley sat on the couch. He let go of her hand. Harley instantly mourned the warmth of his hand. A twinge of sadness hit her chest. Her eyes went directly to his hand that touched her, then to his eyes. Stop. You're acting like a schoolgirl with her first crush. Shit. It finally hit her. Harley finally realized she's down bad. Her ears began to heat up. Shit. Shit. Shit. Harley prayed that Bob wasn't listening to her inner thoughts. Bob, on the other hand, was oblivious of Harley's inner turmoil. Bob chided himself for holding Harley's hand. He felt like an idiot. His feelings for Harley were getting hard to ignore. Harley occupied his mind more and more by the day. But Bob shook those thoughts. Bob just nervously stared right back at Harley. 

“I want to talk about earlier. I don't want to talk about the mission… It's about the telepathy thing. I just want to say sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I want to apologize”, Bob said nervously, fidgeting with his long sleeves. Oh Bob, Harley thought. “It's okay. But I must know… did you hear my thoughts prior to dinner?”, Harley said, dreading the answer. 

Bob's eyes widened. His cheeks and ears turned a shade of red. He didn't know how to answer that question, but he did anyway. “You said I was fine as fuck”, Bob said with a hint of amusement and embarrassment. “I'm flattered, really”, he added, trying to lighten the mood.

Harley wanted to crawl in a hole and never resurface. She wanted to completely disappear. Harley put her head in her hands. She felt so embarrassed. A moment had passed. Harley felt his hand on her shoulder. The familiar warmth returned to her. Harley peaked through her fingers. “Hey, it's okay”, he said, smiling softly. Harley didn't know what to do. Harley wanted to punch his shoulder. 

“It's not okay, Bob”, she said, still embarrassed. Bob sensed this. 

“Look at me, Harley.” She looked up at him. He cleared his throat. “In all seriousness, I do apologize. Really. Harley, I feel bad. I shouldn't have done that. I'm trying, you know. I'm trying to be good. People already don't trust me. The Void. He… haunts me. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want him to hurt you”, he said. Bob paused. He was fighting himself on what to say next, so he let his actions speak for him. His hand moved down and held Harley's hand again. He began rubbing little circles on her hand. Harley felt the feeling return to her chest, but this time it wasn't sadness, it was something else… something she couldn't describe. 

Bob and Harley had nothing to lose. They just looked at each other, enjoying each other's company. Harley wouldn't mind getting lost in his eyes. Harley felt like she would have floated away if it weren't for Bob holding her hand. Is this what bliss felt like? If Harley were to die at this moment, she would be okay with it because she had the chance to experience this moment. A strand of Bob's hair moved in front of his face. Harley quickly used the other hand to tuck it back into place behind his ear. Her hand lingered there for a bit, not truly ready to set down just yet. Bob leaned into her touch, closed his eyes and sighed in relief. Oh, Harley thought. She liked it. This little action surprised her. Her heart began racing again. Bob opened his eyes. He said something but Harley didn't hear it. She was lost in Bob's touch. He repeated himself. 

“Your heart is racing”, Bob said softly. 

“Huh?”, Harley said. She was half listening, still mesmerized with Bob's touch. 

Bob chuckled. “I said your heart is racing, dear”, Bob said gently.

Dear. That's new, she thought.

Harley's stomach did a flip. She wanted to stay in this moment forever. She wanted… 

“Robert”, she said gently. She moved a bit closer. 

“Harley”, he said tenderly. 

Bob and Harley have been dancing around this topic for a while now. Friends. More than friends. She was not sure what to call it. 

“I think we should-” Harley was suddenly interrupted. 

The booming voice of Alexi echoed in the room. “We're back and we saved the president’s daughter”, he yelled as he stepped into the room. Harley and Bob nearly jumped out of their seats. They let go of each other. 

The rest of the Thunderbolts followed after Alexi. Ava and Yelena were exhausted. Antonia was unreadable. John smugly grinned. “Where bucky?”, John said amusingly. 

“Asleep”, Bob said. 

“Right. Grandpa has a bedtime”, John said. 

Alexi was eager to share details about the mission, but Yelena told everyone to clean up and go to bed. Valentina would want a report first thing in the morning. As the rest of the Thunderbolts were leaving, Yelena faced Bob and Harley. She had a glint in her eyes. 

“I want to be invited to the wedding”, Yelena said with a smirk. Yelena walked away leaving both of them speechless.