Chapter 5
They finish and get back to the house around dinner time. A few lingering people have yet to leave, and they find Inej, Nina, Wylan, and Matthais in the hayloft - playing cards. Jesper makes his rounds to kiss each of their foreheads before he settles between Wylan and Kaz. Wylan smiles softly at him and leans his head onto Jesper’s shoulder.
“Have fun?” Jesper asks.
“It wasn’t bad,” Wylan admits, humming. Jesper peaks at his card.
“Good.”
“How was Leoni?” Nina asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” She reaches over the circle and pats his knee.
“I’m sorry, Jes,” she says.
“Me too. She's… different now. Worse.”
“She was a part of the second army. Maybe I could talk to her?” Nina offered.
“No,” Jesper huffed. “I don’t want her in my life.”
Matthias gives a supportive smile, “I wish this were not a burden to you.”
“I do too,” Jesper gives a small unsure laugh. “You’d’va all loved my ma.” His laugh turns wet, and Matthias wastes no time pulling his boyfriend into his chest. He was the only one big enough to do so, and they all hugged him as the date seemingly crashed over him. He clutched onto Matthias's shirt, utterly surrounded by his partners. Before too long, Colm comes to find them.
Matthias looked at him, Jesper still quite buried in his chest. “Jes,” he says softly. “Your fathers here.” Jesper pulled himself away from Matthias, still swarmed by the others. They move away some so he can sit up, and he wipes his face.
“What's up?” he gives a small smile.
“Just came to see how you were,” Colm sits down on a hay bale. Jesper nods.
“I’m fine.”
“Leoni seemed mad.”
Jesper chuckled drily. “She didn't want to actually work. She wanted to know more about my new life. We got into an argument so I sent her back to the house.”
“Ah,” he sighed back. “Hungry?”
“I’m alright.”
“The rest of ya?”
“Not if it's any trouble, sir,” Matthias says.
“Never any trouble for my boys strays.” Colm pats Jesper's shoulder gently. “Come in when you’re ready, alright?” He leaves after that. Slowly, Jesper falls back into Matthais’s embrace.
“You guys go ahead,” Matthias offered. “I’ll stay with Jesper.”
“I’ll bring you a plate,” Nina offered, kissing his and then Jesper’s heads. She leaves first.
“Thank you,” Kaz murmured before he too took his leave. Inej followed, and Wylan after. Wylan looks back over his shoulder at them, but at Matthais’s nod, leaves.
“I’m sorry,” Jesper says softly.
“It’s fine, my love,” Matthias assured, running a large hand over his back. “Today is hard for you. You have faced it bravely, and now it's okay to rest. We’ll look over you.”
“I never thought I'd be back here. Much less with all of you, watching you work my dad's land…” Jesper huffed. “It's like a really nice dream. I’m just waiting to wake back up in the barrel - Kaz is already back to work, going after the people who attacked us. Inej finding the information we need. Nina flirting her way in somewhere, Wylan making bombs and you fighting off anyone who gets too close.”
“Where would you be?”
“I don’t know. Probably following Kaz like a dog.”
“Kaz is a strong leader, but you are no dog, Jesper Fahey.”
“I used to be,” Jesper huffed. “Before all this. Before we broke you out, before we figured this all out.”
“You think so?”
“Even when Kaz kicked at me, I always came back - sometimes better, most of the time worse. Ready to main for him, always following. There are dogs like that in the barrel. Ones that bite at anything but their owner, even kicked or left to starve. Dependent on and willing to die for their owner.
“You were never dependent on Kaz Brekker, Jesper.”
“Yeah, I was. Inej knows. She saw it too. Every damn command he gave, no matter how wrong it seemed at first. He could tell me to do anything and I would. Kidnap a kid, murder a wife… sleep with someone. Anything.”
“You’ve both changed. Grown up,” Matthias rumbled.
“I would do it now. For any one of you,” he sits up, making his point. “Anything to prove I love you. Say it, and it’ll get done.” Matthias grabs him into his chest again, soothing a hand down his back.
“Rest.”
Jesper grumbles softly, relaxing into Matthias’s warmth. They lay down at one point, and Jesper felt himself begin to doze off.
“It’s alright, darling,” Matthias kisses his hair. “I’ll keep you safe. Nothing will harm you,” he adds another two words in Fjerdan. When asked, he evaded with a blush but Nina says it amounted to little fawn or deer.
Mathias has a range of Fjerdan names he calls his partners - including Kaz and Inej, whom he was not nearly as involved with. Of course, he calls Nina redbird and Jasper fawn, but he also calls Kaz crow, Inej cat, and Wylan fox. It was rather adorable, and he heard and has been practicing himself so that one day he can call Matthias Little Wolf to see his reaction as well as hold a conversation with him.
For now, though, he rests. Matthias holds him tightly and close, sharing his warmth. It was, admittedly, very nice and just what Jesper needed after a long day.