Your body yearns for release as your eyes scan the screen with despair. You mutter out the words you read
"A couple of our servers have gotten a bit overwhelmed, so we're taking some down time to give them a chance to catch up. We'll be back as soon as possible!"
"THAT DOESN'T HELP AO3!" You shout a little louder than you intended. You slam the laptop closed and get up from your chair. The only issue is that your blanket is lodged firmly under your chair wheel and after a firm tugging you spin, slip, and hope for the best as the floor gets a lot closer; a lot faster.
......
......
"Babe..?"
You hear a concerned but solemn voice as you feel a hand on your shoulder. This would normally be reassuring but who the FUCK is in your apartment?! Your eyes jolt open as you sit up. The room is wholly unfamiliar to you, wood floors and brick walls? A MAN IN A SUIT!
"Did you kidnap me?!" You yell as you start taking a closer look at the possible investment banker. Until your eyes begin to really take in your surroundings. The hair. The suit. The New York loft.
"MATT FUCKING MURDOCK?!"
He smiles at you and waits, as if expecting you to launch into another tirade. Casually leaning back into the chair in front of the couch you're laying on. "I don't think I ever told you my middle name, but it's Michael. The Catholic church typically frowns upon names like "fucking."
In that brief exchange it hits you. You have died and gone to heaven. Horny heaven apparently, but dying because AO3 is down and then getting an extremely vivid afterlife experience with Mattypoo himself is just about the best post life you could have hoped for. You glance down at his slacks to double check and yes, God did indeed grant him a dick that's about as secretive as Coachella. He gets halfway through offering you a glass of water before you're off the couch with one knee placed beside his thigh.
"So you calling me babe earlier.... does that mean we have a clothing optional type of relationship?" That smug smile you've seen on TV pops up like he knew this would be coming. He doesn't say a word, just pulls you the rest of the way onto him. His strong hands guiding your body as you start to feel his hard cock pressing into you.
"We've had sex on every piece of furniture I own, wearing clothes around each other just seems redundant at this point." He's talking smoothly, but his face looks needier, like he's been waiting for this too. You tilt your head to the side as his lips find your neck. Your mind briefly flickers back to your aloe vera plant that's been going for about a year now. Hopefully someone finds it and waters it soon. But either way, you're certainly glad you ended up in Horny Heaven.
The End