Dante strode through the crowded convention hall, hurriedly making a mental list of all the characters he recognized. He'd been to Comic Con a fair few times before, but this was the first time he'd actually attend with one of his closest friends. He scanned the crowd in search of her until he saw her, the two excitedly locking eyes.
"Brittney!"
"Dante!" Brittney pushed through the crowd and laughed as her best friend pulled her into a hug. "It is so amazing you got us in together; I've always had a burning curiosity about how these things worked, but I just couldn't pass up an opportunity to meet my best online friend in person!"
"It means the world that you were able to join me," Dante said as he put his much slimmer friend back down. "And can we talk about that cosplay? You look fantastic!"
"Thanks," Brittney said as she danced around to show off her immaculate costume, a feminine variation of the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. Her makeup perfectly resembled the character's signature burlap mask, her straw-stuffed hat matching a dark green dress patterned with a folksy patchwork of browns and oranges. "I can't tell you how many all-nighters I pulled to get this all together, and that was before the security guards took away my revolver. And you don't look so bad yourself, 'Logan'."
The two laughed as Dante showed off his classic brown-and-tan Wolverine costume. In truth, he was more than a bit self-conscious how little his heavy build resembled the standard that Hugh Jackman set, but he was just glad to have gotten his sideburns the right length.
"I've never been to one of these things before," Brittney admitted, "So what should we... y'know, do?"
"Anything you want," Dante replied. "We'll get autographs, collect whatever merch you've been missing for your collection - and don't even think of getting your wallet out because I insist on paying - and maybe I'll find the nearest soda vendor and drink straight from the tap until I lose consciousness just like I always do."
Brittney laughed, having no idea how serious her friend was being.
At the other end of the convention hall, four similar-looking Gems hesitated through the entrance.
"Why did you insist on dragging us to this human freak show?" Yellow Pearl addressed her fellows with disdain, her nose in the air as always. "I understand wanting to bridge the gap between Earth and Homeworld and all that harmonious crap, but must we partake in this undignified custom?"
One can only wonder how Pearl of the Crystal Gems had convinced her fellow Pearls to attend Comic Con, let alone how she convinced them to "respect human customs" with elaborate cosplays of their own; Crystal Gem Pearl herself came dressed as Sherlock Holmes, Yellow was Wonder Woman, Blue was Sailor Mercury, and Pink was 2B.
"Oh, try to relax," Blue Pearl replied serenely. "These humans are just pursuing their artistic passions." She then moved closer to Yellow. "Speaking of which, your... 'cos-play' I believe it's called... is giving me ideas for some new artworks, if you'd care to model them for me."
Yellow Pearl blushed, her air of haughty superiority shattered in an instant. "Why I- of course I-uh," she stammered out.
"Remember why we came here," CG Pearl said as she adjusted her deerstalker cap. "Steven is in the area, and since this is exactly the place a boy of his unique interests would be likely to visit, this would be the perfect opportunity to surprise him with a day of responsible and intricately organized activities!" She pulled a list from her pocket. "Don't worry; I kept this list as brief as possible," she said as the unfolding piece of paper began to trail across the floor.
"Right," Pink said in that sweetly sardonic tone of hers. "And I have two eyeballs." The blindfold she wore as part of her cosplay ruined the joke somewhat by obscuring her lack of a second eye, but the point was taken.
CG Pearl, meanwhile, still had two functioning eyes, which allowed her to spot a perfect gift on a nearby table.
"Look," she said. "It's a limited edition art book for that musical movie Steven and Connie were gushing so much about... Wicket I think it was called. Steven will be so delighted!"
She clapped to herself before reaching for the art book... only for her hand and Brittney's to bump into one another.
"Oh," they both said awkwardly as they pulled their hands away. They each tried to grab the book afterward, but each one's movement was intercepted by the other.
Eventually, Dante came between them and addressed CG Pearl. "Excuse me, Will Ferrell's worst role since Blades of Glory, but Brittney saw that book first, and I promised her I'd get it for her."
"Sorry to disappoint, but I need to get this for my Steven," Pearl replied haughtily. "You can find your rag doll friend a new gift."
"And maybe she can repay you with a gym membership," Yellow Pearl snarked behind her counterpart's back.
"I've got this, Yellow," CG Pearl said through gritted teeth.
"No, we've got it," Dante said as he hastily grabbed the book. "Trust me, you don't want any trouble." He held up a hand and clenched his fist, allowing lifelike claws to erupt from the costume's glove.
"Oh, don't I?" Pearl saw her own glowering reflection in the claws. She couldn't just let this beast steal away her perfect gift for Steven. Thinking fast, she leaped backwards and grabbed the shield from a nearby Captain Carter cosplayer before throwing it at Dante with all her might.
Dante ducked out of the shield's path just in time, causing the flying disk to ricochet around the room, defacing some custom artwork, knocking a few commemorative drink mugs to the ground, and disrupting a Charlie Morningstar cosplayer's proposal to her counterpart dressed as Vaggie.
"Should've looked before you aimed," Dante said smugly before the shield came back and hit him in the back of the head. Letting out the scream of a mighty warrior, he grabbed the shield and swung it wildly at Pearl, though she managed to dodge each blow with the grace of a ballerina before kicking the shield away and embedding it in a wall.
"This is your last warning," Pearl said as she drew her spear from thin air. "Hand over the book or there will be consequences."
"That's what I was hoping for," Dante said as he unsheathed the claws on his other hand. He and Pearl charged at each other...
"BOTH OF YOU GET AHOLD OF YOURSELVES!"
Until a Deadpool cosplayer appeared between them and brought them both to a stop.
"Look at yourselves," he said to the two. "Can't you see that your desire for this book is only bringing about destruction? You've allowed your avarice to let you forget the true spirit of Comic Con: befriending total strangers and dressing up to pretend to be something you're not so the crushing misery of the world we live in won't hurt as bad!"
"You're right," Dante said as he put the claws away. "Thank you, random cosplayer."
"Uhh... yeah," the stranger said awkwardly. "'Cosplayer', sure. Let's go with that." He then vanished into the crowd.
"That strange man was right," Pearl said forlornly. "You know what? Your friend can have that book; I'm sure Steven will be happy with anything else I could give him because that is the bond we share!"
The Captain Carter cosplayer from earlier tapped Pearl's shoulder. "You know someone's gonna have to pay for all this stuff you broke, right?"
"Fuck," Pearl said.