Logan had been living in Japan for a month and a half now. Something about the country felt like home and he wasn’t looked down upon, besides the occasional stares as he did stick out like a sore thumb. He got ready for the day and went to work. He’d been working as a butcher for a month, and he was really enjoying it. He just worked with his hands all day and didn’t have to talk to anyone. He remembered small things every day and he was content with that.
After some light threatening, Wade had found out that the mystery man in his photo had said something about traveling to Japan. He’d stolen said photo from the quarters that he’d then burnt down. After some effort, he got to Japan. He’d had never been to Japan before. Well, he’d been once or twice for work but that was just a job. He hadn’t walked through the streets or smelt the food. He had a photo of the mystery man in his pocket, and he took it out every so often to look at him. Who was he, he wondered. He wondered if he’d be able to fill in all the blanks. He hoped he would. Having a hole in his memories sucked ass.
Logan walked to work and started to get ready for the day when he got there. His apron went on and he smiled at how well it suited him. He chatted to his boss about what meat was coming in for the day and then prepared his station. The meat turned up and he got to work. The day started to go by. He talked to a few customers who turned up but most of them didn’t bother with talking to the scary looking butcher. A kid came in with his mum and he chuckled before smiling at them. He didn’t want kids to fear him.
Wade wasn’t sure where to start looking for his mystery man. He took the photo out again and smiled. Did he know him? His mystery man had such a welcoming face, and it made his stomach do flips. Did he like him? Maybe. He’d ask him if he did or not. Hopefully he would know, otherwise he wasn’t sure what he’d do. He didn’t want to keep living with all these holes in his memories. He could remember faces but he didn’t know their names or who they were to him. There was one face that made him want to puke. He hurt him and he wouldn’t be surprised if that man had something to do with the lack of memories.
The day was almost over, and Logan was getting ready to go home. He washed up his small station and threw some of the meat that wasn’t sellable into a bucket for his boss’s dogs. He’d have to remember to ask if he could meet them. He’d felt some kind of kinship to dogs. They were chained up and kept as pets and he had some feeling that the same had happened to him. He couldn’t remember who had done that to him, but he knew he wanted to rip them into pieces. Anyone who tried to restrain him was an enemy in his eyes. After taking a deep breath, he washed his hands and put his apron away.
Wade had gone into a few shops and shown the man’s picture around. Nobody recognized him. Maybe the people he’d gotten a ride from hadn’t actually talked to him, but he was here now so might as well keep trying. He saw a butchers up the street and that seemed like a good place for who he presumed was some kind of military man to hide out. He was quite sure he himself was military from the dog tags in his pocket that said Wade Wilson and what looked like an id number. He wasn’t sure who would name their kid that. Maybe his parents didn’t like him that much.
Wade walked into the butchers and showed the photo to the man at the counter. The man looked at him like he’d grown a second head, but he could tell that was faked. He heard something crashing to the ground out the back and his military training must have kicked in because he swung his legs over the counter and pushed the man away. The man protested and tried to stop him, but he took off with no regard to the shouts.
Logan was about to walk out the front and go home when he saw a man enter. He was hidden behind some crates thankfully because he recognized that man from somewhere. His heart started to race, and he tried to force a memory about the man now talking to his boss into the front of his mind. He watched for another moment before a vivid memory of that man running at him with katanas flashed before his eyes. His eyes went wide, and his instincts kicked in. He raced out the back door, pushing some shelving over in his frenzy. His heightened hearing picked up his boss’s shouts and that pushed him to run faster. He ran down the alleyway, listening out for anyone chasing him.
Wade ran to the back room and saw the knocked over shelving. The door was wide open so the runaway must have already gone. He rushed out the door and saw a man running down the alleyway. He took after them, his feet crashing against the bricks. He hadn’t chased someone down for a while. Memories of chasing people on both jobs and in his free time flooded his brain. He saw two men who ran on all fours, and he wondered what the fuck that was about before shaking the memories away and focusing on the chase at hand.
Logan glanced behind and saw the man running after him. That man had tried to kill him so was he here to finish the job? Why did someone hate him that much? He couldn’t even remember what he’d done besides all the fighting in wars. Maybe he deserved this. It could be possible that he deserved to be hunted like a defenceless deer. That didn’t mean he was going to make it easy though. His pupils got smaller, and he dropped down to run on all fours. He wasn’t going to be chained up again or put down like a sick dog. He was the Wolverine, like it said on his dog tags. He wasn’t going to roll and let some man contain him.
Wade did a double take as the man just dropped to all fours. What the fuck had he gotten himself into? If his fucked up memories were telling some truth, this man he was chasing was dangerous and had been a threat to him maybe. The face in the photo made him feel happy though. His memories and heart were conflicted, and he couldn’t sort that out without talking to the mystery man. He kept running and he saw up ahead that there was a turn so hopefully he’d be able to gain on him.
Logan saw the turn as well. He just had to get around it without losing balance or slamming into an unseen fence. He kept running on all fours, his heart racing. Who was that guy and why was he chasing him? He could have shot at him already or used one of those katana’s he’d seen in his memory. He didn’t have to chase him like he was a runaway animal. Logan was so deep in his thoughts that when he turned the corner, he didn’t see the pothole. He tripped over his hands and fell into a heap. His back ached and he rolled onto his side, not sure if he could get up, but he had to.
The corner came up fast and Wade ran gracefully around it. He was coming up on the mystery man fast and then he saw him on the ground… in pain? That didn’t match up with his memories. The mystery man he barely remembered didn’t have time for pain. He slid to a stop and watched for a moment before taking another step.
Logan glanced up. The man following him had stopped? He pulled himself to his knees and resumed his on all fours position. The animal inside was biting and snarling. It wanted to pounce and kill. It wanted to rip the man’s limbs from his body. It wanted to chew on his arms like a bone. He shook his head and just growled lowly instead. He needed answers, not chew toys. He needed to know if the man wanted him dead.
Wade’s hands went out, like how you calm down a scared dog. It just felt right to do. It felt like he’d done it before. He just knew what to do. He didn’t know how, but he just had to. He took another step forwards with his hands out. He lowered down a little, so he was closer to the mystery man.
“I ain’t gonna hurt you. Just wanna talk,” he said quietly, as he knelt down in front of him.
If Logan had a tail, it’d be between his legs. The animal inside him was fixated on the man’s neck. He could take him out in seconds but something else was stopping him. There was a memory. It made him feel warm and fuzzy and this stranger was there. He was just standing but in the memory, he was standing right next to Logan, and he felt safe. Maybe the stranger didn’t want to kill him, but he remembered him running at him too. The memories were contradicting but if the running one was true, he could just let the animal go and kill the stranger. Until then he could try this whole talking thing.
“About what?” He asked hesitantly as he straightened up a bit, so he wasn’t staring at the strangers mid-section.
Wade stared at him for a moment. He talks. Well, that was probably to be expected but like the man ran off on all fours. He wouldn’t be surprised if he’d barked at this point. He cleared his throat and smiled awkwardly. What was he supposed to say? Hey, I think we knew each other but I remember you trying to kill me and also I have a photo of you that I stole from a big building before it set on fire somehow. He took a deep breath and took the photo out of his pocket.
“This is you. Who are you?” He asked as he shakily held the photo up.
Logan stared at the photo before slowly standing up. He snatched the photo off him and paid no attention to the low gasp that left the stranger’s mouth. That was him. But how’d he get it? He scowled and stared at it for a bit longer before looking back at the stranger.
“I’m Logan. Where’d you get this, bub?”
The scowl reminded Wade of a memory. It was maybe of this man or another but there was a few of them around a campfire and he was being teased about something. The sounds were fuzzy, and he couldn’t grab onto the faces enough to read lips. Someone was teasing him, and he was like 70% sure that this man, that Logan defended him. He shook his head so he could get rid of it and focus back on Logan.
“I found it in a building after waking up.”
Well, that was ominous and not at all helpful. Logan’s hand that wasn’t holding the photo fell down to his side and made a fist. He looked at the photo again and looked at the stranger again. A building? He faintly remembered walking away from a big building. Was that was he talking about? He thought really hard about what he remembered. There was a big nuclear reactor thing, and this man ran at him with katanas, but he got away.
“You just found a photo of me? In a building? Anything else, bub?”
Wade shook his head. That was all he remembered. He woke up, felt weird (almost like he was disconnected from his body), and eventually he stood up and walked to the building. He’d been looking for something else that he didn’t remember but found that picture instead.
“I think I know you and I’m hoping you know me.”
Logan hears that and another memory strikes him. He holds his head and groans softly. Him and another man who seems familiar were fighting this stranger, but he killed him. Wait, he killed him? With his claws? He hadn’t remembered that before. The memory kept hitting him, like a broken record. He stumbled backwards and tried to stay steady. The stranger was walking towards him slowly, he could hear him. He swung his free hand in front of him, his claws coming out, blood dripping onto the ground.
“Stay back! I killed you! You can’t be here!”
What? Wade stopped in his tracks and his jaw dropped. His mystery man, Logan, killed him? But he was alive. Blood was rushing through his veins, and his heart was pumping and… it explained the weird scar that still hadn’t healed fully. He felt his neck and ran his fingers over the scar tissue. He’d just put that in the same box as the mangled skin around his mouth that tried to form back together every so often. He’d ignored everything about his looks that confused him, the scar was no different. It all started to make sense now.
“So, turns out… I don’t die.”
Logan stopped. No more memories engulfed him. There was a just a feeling of familiarness. This man was… like him. He knew he couldn’t die. He’d tried when a memory had surfaced, of the other man who had always stuck by him and of a young woman and the fear in her eyes when he pulled the man from her tent. He’d woken up the next morning in his small bed, the sheets covered in blood. He hadn’t tried again after that, preferring to just drink away his sorrows. He’d wanted to remember but remembering came with a cost.
The cost right now was that Logan remembered killing this stranger in front of him, but he also remembered a young man who sounded like him. He remembered holding that young man on a cold night and standing next to him, his hand in his back pocket. He remembered feeling the safest he’d felt, and his heart had almost jumped out of his chest. His name was on the tip of his tongue. He could hear it. He could almost grab onto it like a lifesaver.
“I don’t die either,” he said slowly. “And I think I do remember you… Wade.”
Wade stumbled backwards. Was that his name? He could hear it. He could hear others screaming his name over and over again. He could hear who looked like his boss saying it repeatedly every time he was reprimanded. His knees gave way, and he fell to the ground. His name was Wade. Wade Wilson. That should have made him feel excited, but it just filled him with terror.
Tears ran down his face and the gravel hurt his knees. The voices grew louder until he was almost screaming in terror. Every memory had the volume turned up to a hundred now. They were all screaming at him, shouting his name until it was all he heard. He didn’t hear Logan coming up to him and kneeling beside him. He didn’t even feel him picking him up and walking.
A few hours later, Wade woke up in a warm and soft bed. He was just in his boxers, he realised, as he looked down. He sat up and looked around, his heart beating fast. It was a very basic room with a few small belongings scattered around. There was a cheap cowboy hat on the top of the dresser and a small shot glass that said the name of maybe a local bar on the bedside table. It wasn’t really the room of a psychopath, he concluded. There was a pile of clothes on the floor that had a note on top. He slowly moved his legs off the bed and reached for the card. It said “These should fit. Yours are in the wash.”
Logan was in the kitchen of his small apartment, cooking up a small meal of beef curry and rice. He hoped Wade would like it. It felt weird saying that name as he couldn’t remember their full history, only parts of it. He waited for him to come out of his bedroom as he served the meal onto two plates. He looked up just as Wade walked out, now in clean tracksuit pants and a loose t-shirt. He smiled and walked over to the table that was already set with cutlery and put the plates down.
“You hungry?” He asked as he sat down.
Wade stared at Logan for a moment. He hadn’t tried to kill him and there was still this warm feeling in his chest as he looked at him. He sat down and glanced at the plate. It was beef curry and rice. He certainly wasn’t expecting that from a man who ran on all fours like some kind of animal.
“Yeah, I’m hungry. Thank you,” he said quietly before starting to eat.
Logan nodded and started to eat as well. He wanted to talk to Wade and find out what he knew and see if it filled in any gaps for him, but the poor guy looked like he’d hardly eaten so he was content to just eat in silence. Every so often, he looked over at him and smiled. He could look at him forever. There was a voice in his head that said he should be disgusted at the scars that littered Wade’s skin but really, he loved them as well. His heart felt like it grew any time he looked at him. He was almost positive that he and him had shared a deeper connection than just mates in the army.
Wade hadn’t eaten for what felt like days. He practically tore into the beef curry and rice and hardly glanced over at Logan the whole time. Only a few minutes later, he’d finished his meal and looked up at Logan. He smiled, his mouth hurting a bit as the smile tore the scar tissue a little. He winced and stood up, the chair scraping across the floor.
“That was delicious. Um, where’s your bathroom?” Wade asked quietly.
“Just down the hall,” Logan answered before nodding at the hallway.
Wade excused himself and hurried off. Logan stood up and collected both their plates and took them over to his small sink. He hoped he hadn’t made Wade uncomfortable about the scarring around his face. He hadn’t even noticed it when they’d met in the alleyway. He’d traced some of the scars lightly when he’d undressed him and placed him in his bed after he’d fallen asleep on the walk home. He didn’t see him any differently. He had faint memories of seeing his friends, other soldiers, after the wars he fought in and seeing them covered with different scars and he’d never have hated them or made them feel like they were any different now. He’d be like that with Wade as well.
In the bathroom, Wade leaned against the wall and tried to calm his nerves. He knew he had a crush on Logan so that wasn’t the main problem. The main problem was that Logan wasn’t looking at him with faint disgust and he didn’t know how to deal with that. He’d expected for him to be the first to leave the table. He hadn’t expected him to throw him loving glances like they were already banging. He threw some water on his scarred face and groaned as he looked at himself in the mirror. He then walked back out to join Logan.
The tap was running, and Logan was doing the dishes when Wade walked out. The whole thing was so domestic, so unlike the faint memories they had of each other. Wade sat back down at the table and stared at Logan’s back for a moment before looking down at his hands. He wanted to ask if Logan remembered anything he didn’t, but he couldn’t get the words to come out.
“I remember holding you at night,” Logan said quietly as he kept washing the dishes. He sighed and gripped the sink. “And I remember standing next to you when Stryker disapproved of your methods. I remember watching you fight and thinking that I wanted to push you against a tree later that night.”
Wade slowly stood up and pushed the chair back. He hesitantly walked over to Logan’s side. His hand hovered over his back, too scared to touch him. “I remember that, all of that, James.” He smiled and slowly touched his back, proving that he remembered and that he was there.
Logan turned around and tilted his head like a puppy. “You remember? Really? I guess that’s the important part over then,” he said quietly before taking a hold of Wade’s hands. He smiled and squeezed them. “Would you want to stay here and remember me?”
Wade squeezed his hands back and took a step closer so that they were chest to chest, just like in one of his memories. “And you’ll remember me? Remember us?”
Logan nodded and so did Wade. They were together again. They were going to remember and make new memories without Stryker’s threats hanging over their heads. They could finally breathe.