Time had always been so insignificant to him…
Mobius couldn’t remember when time had stopped being a part of his life. There had never been a before, and now, all of a sudden, he was handed an after.
Do whatever you want, you’re free. That simple. Free! Move! Fly away!
He hadn’t exactly experienced what time actually felt like before. Wait, no. He had, but all of that part of his life, all the experience, had been taken from him. What was left were fake memories, packed with beige-toned suits and files. Sanctity, harmony, order… these were the only things he knew.
“Don’t you ever wonder? The life they took you from?”
Of course, he thought about it! While watching Don and the kids, he had hoped for something to stir inside him,a desire, a wish… “Reality” was within his reach. A father, a perfectly landscaped house, children who made him happy, and a jet ski. Family and home. When they first took him, did he beg them to spare the kids? Did he feel helpless when they pruned his branched timeline? Did he fall onto his knees and cried the names of his children?
He gazed at what was taken from him with envy. He didn’t need to be Mobius any more; he could just live like Don, free to pursue what was denied of him. Just as it should be, as it should have been…
But his timeline, the original one where they had taken him from, was no more. There was no life he could return to. No Don, no children, no home. He wasn’t Don. He knew nothing about Don. Whatever was taken from him had no meaning at all.
He wasn’t a variant any more… He was Mobius. Yes, perhaps everything he had believed in and done at the TVA had been a lie. They had destroyed countless innocent lives who had their own identities. Every life he had ended seemed to scream in his mind. They only wanted to live, only wanted to follow different paths.
His variant file claimed, as Don he also ended up causing a time branch when he had decided to keep Don’s -his- second jet ski. The second one was bought for his ex wife before their divorce. He was always meant to sell it. They had pruned variants due to smaller things.
After learning that he was a variant, TVA being built up on a lie, and the Loom being destroyed, only now,he was able to take a breath and confront what he was trying not to. Atonement. That was what he needed. Destroy the order, give everyone their freedom. This was what Sylvie wanted, right? Though, she had never been a pawn like him, she had found her enemy and never stopped. Sylvie had always been different than the other Lokis. She wanted to experience freedom, with her own choice.
If you were told you were free all your life and had no complaints, what do you do when you find out you’re in a prison? Is there a reason for you to want to get out? And what if you find a reason?
“You don’t belong anywhere.” True. Damn it, Brad was right, and he hated him for it. He didn’t have a life he belonged to. His prison had no meaning. But still… Still, Loki had always thought they could all have a life, a chance. He had told Loki he could be anything he wanted, and perhaps this was Loki’s way of telling him the same thing.
You can be anything you want, Mobius.
He just wanted the universe not to be fractured. He wanted everyone to be saved. He already knew Loki would become the hero he was meant to be. He always knew. Loki always sacrificed himself in the sacred timeline. But he hoped it wouldn’t be like that this time. He hoped maybe he could be the one to give Loki his chance of redemption. Though, one could say he fulfilled the godly fate the Norns had drawn for him now. Loki had always wanted to be a hero for a noble cause. He always desired to be grand and flashy, and he somehow succeeded. But for what? Was there really no other way? Did he really ask this when he sacrificed himself? Did Mobius want Loki to do such a thing for him, for any of them? If he had asked Mobius… he would have obviously told him no!
Do you really want to be alone? Fine, you’ll always be alone then.
Would Mobius have accepted that if tables were turned? Would anyone, really?
Why didn’t you ask, Loki?
Of course, he was angry with him. Loki had left him with questions that could never be answered and expected him to watch time pass by. Just like that!
He had imprisoned him in another place built with questions, and now Loki was everywhere and nowhere. And now, for the first time in his known life, Mobius was left to experience the flow of time, with no choice.
He watched how the seconds, minutes, hours had passed for a while. No one stopped the sun. No one tried to erase this place as darkness began to shade everything. Street lights lit up. People returned from their work; cars began to fill the garages. They had no idea they had almost ceased to exist. They had no idea about Loki, who had given them a chance to live. Maybe Mobius shouldn’t have either. He would be happy like everyone else, right? What good was it to be aware of such a sacrifice?
You saved us all, Loki. Why? Were we worth having free will?
He had a lot of things he wanted to ask him. It felt like there was an endless string in his mind, and the more he pulled, the more hopeless he became. He thought distancing himself from the TVA would help a bit, but it only reinforced his sense of purposelessness.
The nowhere man. Nowhere to go, no need, no idea, no time…
He found himself walking in a park. Joggers and dog walkers passed him by. They became sparse as the night was closing in. He thought about sitting on a bench. But every time he approached one, he would walk a little more and consider the next one. Eventually, he ran out of benches .
The trees thickened after a while, and the path led him to a bridge. It was a beautifully illuminated wooden bridge, hard to find in such an artificial park. Somehow, it was nicely integrated with nature. He stood in the middle of the bridge and watched the flowing water for a while. He tried not to think about how he hated bridges now.
He remembered a file clerk at the TVA who had once suggested building a fountain to ensure more serenity for the employees. They’d all agreed it would look nice in the common area with a mosaic design to accompany the murals. They even had a meeting about it. Later, during budget calculations, the priority shifted to a hot chocolate machine, causing arguments to escalate into chaos. If Ravonna hadn’t banned any more innovations in landscaping, they would have been on the brink of a small civil war there.
With the sudden nostalgia, he chuckled involuntarily. As soon as he heard his own voice, he snapped out of the trance of what he had as memories.
Just as he decided to leave, “Sorry,” said a woman behind him. “I hope I’m not bothering you, but could you take a photo of us?”
He turned to her. She was a middle-aged woman, smiling, and extending her phone to him. Her other hand was holding the hand of a man about the same age. “Of course,” he said without much thought. The couple stood against the backdrop of the lit bridge. The man put his arm around the woman’s shoulder and smiled while the woman hugged the man’s waist. He quickly took a couple of photos. At that moment, the man kissed the woman’s cheek to make a different pose and the woman giggled. He glanced at the photo he had just taken, before handing the phone back to the woman. The man’s hair was a grayish tone, and he was hardly looking at the camera. His eyes were fixed on the woman with compassion. The woman’s smile was genuine. Her black hair contrasted with his and shone with the lights in the background.
“Thank you,” they both said. He tried to smile at them and just nodded. His gaze followed the couple leaving. He lingered, his mind nitpicking various memories to hurt him. Happiness, joy, a chance of laughter, the green of lime, the texture of whipped cream… Wasn’t it all worth it? Everyone deserved a chance of happiness, even if it was just a small possibility, a small moment. No one had the right to erase them, no one had the right to stop them from living.
Mischievous scamp. Did you really have to be right?
He couldn’t manage to blame Loki in the end. If Mobius didn’t belong anywhere, it was his problem. He ran his hands through his hair and took a deep breath. He didn’t want to wrestle with any of these questions. If he had to wait for time to pass, he couldn’t just stand still. If there was a solution, any solution, he had to find it. Don, and many Dons, could live the life they deserved, with kids and jet skis, using this chance that Loki had given them. But Mobius wasn’t Don. Mobius had been Mobius for a long time. He was a problem solver, someone who read between the lines, someone who always believed there was hope and who never abandoned the captain’s quarters until the ship sank.
Let time pass. He would learn how to do that in his own way. With his own free will. That way, he would understand time better, he would understand everything about it, so he could maybe tell him…
If that arrogant time god thought, after everything, that no one would care about him, Mobius really needed to beautifully uproot his ass from his damn tree.