Despite contrary belief, Peter Benjamin Parker does indeed go to therapy.
May and Ben put him inside therapy about 10 months after they gained custody. They said talking about his feelings would help him move on, but he wasn't exactly.. ready to talk.
So, for most of his time in therapy, he sat in the office and listened to his therapist talk about his traveling experience. Turns out, Olly the Therapist had traveled all over the world before settling down for work.
Olly the Therapist said his favorite place that he'd ever gone to was the Rockies.
"The mountains were so gorgeous." He always stressed, overly gesturing with his hands as he spoke. "The only bad part were all the Spiders." He added a shiver at the end.
Peter doesn't know if he should take offense to that at this point in his life. A lot of people were scared of Spiders. Did that mean a lot of people were scared of him too?
The reason Peter recalls this now is because Olly the Therapist gave him a travel card of the Rockies.
And he's standing in front of it now.
Oh! The Rockies, not the travel card.
Peter breathes out a loud sigh, clenching the card in his hand. He was tired, to say the least. He took a bus all the way over here. From New York. He couldn't stay there any longer. He couldn't be blamed. He didn't want to be the reason Mr. Stark--
He walks quietly inside of his cabin, laying down on the bed and putting his phone down. He couldn't go back. Even if Mr. Stark was alive. He couldn't go back. He had to stay here. He'd ignore everyone. Easy. He has to.
Because if he didn't, he'd ruin everything again.
---
No.
Tony Stark has never been to therapy.
How'd you guess?
Tony scowled, running a hand through his hair, agitation radiating off his body like the sun. Which is funny because his wouldn't pick up the phone.
5 calls, and Peter still hadn't picked up the phone. Tony didn't bother to leave a voicemail up to this point, but 5 calls, and he got fed up.
"Hey, this is Peter! Leave a message!" The voice rings of cheerfulness, for a second, Tony feels a spark of relief, but it diminished as soon as he brain registered it was just Peter's voice message again.
"Jesus Christ. Kid, I swear to God, if you send me to voice mail one more time, I'm going to block your contact." Tony hissed, narrowing his eyes at the phone before rubbing the bridge of his nose and speaking again.
"Anyway. There's an emergency debrief at the tower today, so we can talk about the whole.. Thanos thing. I haven't seen you. Once." Tony arched an eyebrow, tilting his head. "You better be here. Your new suits still here, so if you don't show up, and when you swing by to come get the suit, I swear on my life, I'm not letting you have it."
Tony sighed, rubbing his temples. He closed his eyes and put the phone down on the desk before continuing his sentence.
"Call me back, kid." And hanging up the phone.
Tony ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes, he hummed uselessly. The kid would turn up eventually. He was probably somewhere else, saving a cat from a tree.
"Tones?" Rhodey hummed, popping his head into the room. Tony groaned. "Is the kid not coming?"
"He's probably busy. With what, I don't know. But he'll show up."
He didn't.
---
Tony had left 12 voicemails. In the span of 3 days.
"Okay, kid, I'm getting really fed up with this." Tony said through gritted teeth as the beep hit his ears.
"I still have your new suit. If you want to come and get it. Which you should. Don't think I won't turn your suit off, Peter. I promise you I will." Tony rubbed his forehead. "I'm gonna call May if I don't hear from you in the next 24 hours."
"..Seriously, kid. Call me back. Where'd you even go? I saw that you turned your GPS off. That's not a fluke. You had to have turnt it off." Tony feels his mind run blank on more threats.
"Just.. pick up the phone, will you?" He muttered, hanging up the phone.
And only 3 minutes after he did, it rang again. The ringing damn near startled Tony out of his skin. He turned to the phone, a web of hope falling flat as it hit the ground.
unknown number.
Something in Tony's body forces him to answer the phone, and he places it on speaker after answering.
"Y'ello." Tony greeted, the word falling out of his mouth. A habit he picked up from Rhodey.
"Hello? Is this Tony Stark? I'm-- I'm May Parker--" Oh, shit. He didn't even have to reach out.
May sounded panicked.
Fuck.
"This is." Tony nodded, sitting up straight as he took the phone and held it closer to his lips to May would hear him better. "Why are you calling? Is something up with Peter?"
"Yes! Yes, that. I--I can't find him. I was.. praying he was with you. Please, tell me he's with you." May said, sounding slightly relieved, but also voice edging on desperation.
"..No. No, I thought he was with you."
The sound May makes rips something outside of Tony's chest, but when he checks, his arc reactor is still there. What's left of his heart? Probably not.
---
It's hard not to blame yourself. When you've lost everything.
It's why Peter left. Because if Tony died, it would be his fault. And if Tony survived, he wouldn't want Peter. Why would anyone want Peter?
Peter didn't even want Peter.
Spider-Fact:
A spider cannot hang itself with its own web.
---
56 voice mails. In 10 days.
"Okay, kid, you're scaring the shit out of me here. Me! Can you, for the love of God, call me back, please?!" Tony snapped. He immediately feels bad for snapping, but who cares? Peter probably wouldn't listen to these anyway.
"..Jesus, kid, where are you? Nobody's seen you. May's panicking, by the way! I have Romanov looking the states up and down for you, and she can't find a fucking trace! I'm.. inches away from hyperventilating. Pete, pick up the phone. Or at least shoot a text! Give me something to know thst your alive." Tony loathed the begging tone that leaked into his voice, no matter how much he tried to shove it away.
No matter how hard he tried to hide it.
"..Pick up the phone, Spidey. You've got everyone scared." Tony added, his left eye twitching in irritation. Not at Peter. With himself. How could he lose the kid he made time travel to get back? Why was the smartest man in the world such a dumbass?
He forces his hand to move to press the red button.
He doesn't mean to pick up the bottle. And he doesn't mean to pour the burning liquid down his throat, but.. the fact he might've lost his kid again, in a way he couldn't go back in time to get back again.
Well, vodka calls his name.
---
Rhdoey says he's 'spiraling'.
Tony thinks Rhodey's being a little unfair.
Bruce is telling Tony to look at the situation with logic, not just emotion.
Tony told Bruce to go fuck himself.
"But fine." Tony's voice slurred on the 94th voicemail, holding the phone closely as he swirls his drink in his hand. "Let's look at this logically. Just to make Brucie happy." Tony's eyeroll is clear in his voice.
"Logically speaking.." Tony began, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "You.." his voice wavered. "You're probably dead. It's been 2 weeks with no word, no message, no sight of you, nothing. You probably.." he stops.
Well, there's a reason he doesn't like looking at these things logically.
"You're not dead. You'll come back. I know you will." Tony said, voice stern. He laid his head on the table, closing his eyes. "Morgan asked where you were today. Told her you were on a mission, and you'd be back soon."
He breathes out a long sigh before giving a small, shaky smile.
"Don't make me a liar, kid."
---
Spider-Fact:
Some spiders fake death.
Thanatosis: they go completely still when threatened.
---
Tony didn't know how to hold anymore. He watched the tapes that he had saved from the baby monitor protocol. And he hated it. He hated that he did it.
Because that's what he did during the blip.
During those 5 years, when Tony had nothing left of Peter, nothing but a memory of warmth, he'd play the tapes, and he'd watch. To remember what Peter's laugh sounds like. To remember his voice.
Now, he had to do it all over again.
But this was so much worse. Because he doesn't even know if Peter's dead. He doesn't know if Peter will skip through the front door now or if Peter will call at any minute.
Tony flinched whenever his phone rang. No matter how hard he tried to force it to go away, anytime it rang, his body would spark up with hope, only to be stomped on and stepped out when he realized it wasn't Peter.
But he watched. He watched the clips and listened to everyone encouraging him to go outside, move on, go on another mission.
How was he supposed to move on? When was it his fault?
---
"I never should've let you put on that suit, kid." Tony admitted on his 364th voicemail. It's been 8 weeks.
"You were too young. Not that you weren't ready for it, but I don't think I was ready. And I'm still not ready, kid. I showed up in your house one day, knew your secret, and said, 'Hey, will you come help me fight Captain America?'" He mocked himself.
".. Yeah. I shouldn't have done that. You didn't really have a choice, did you?" He let out a bitter laugh.
"God." Tony mumbled. "I'm just like Obadiah, aren't I?"
Tony felt his hands begin to shake, so he pressed the red button and allowed himself to start crying. Because he already lost his kid. Who cared if he lost himself too?
---
Spider-Fact:
Some spiders never die. They just wait till their ready to live again.
Peter doesn't mean to send the text to Tony. But he's so lonely and sad and the wind sounds like May calling him awake for breakfast just a little too much.
So he does. He can't help it.
He simply opens his phone, and sends Tony a very, very simple:
"im so sorry! i was so scared and i thought youd hate me and i couldnt come back i couldnt live with the fact you hate me im so sorry please dont hate me im sorry"
Very simple.
And then sent the address to Tony, and laid in his bed. And held his breath.
He closed his eyes.
---
Tony screamed when he got the text, then dropped his phone. FRIDAY immediately chimed in.
"Boss, is there something wrong?" FRIDAY hummed, Tony's eyes looked around frantically.
"Yes! Yes, it's fine! Start the Quinjet and put the address Peter just sent into the GPS!" Tony responded quickly, scrambling to grab his phone while FRIDAY complied. He had no time to tell anybody else. Maybe shoot a message to May on the way there.
Tony rushed into the Quinjet, and sat down in the pilot seat, firing it up as fast as he possibly could.
He had to get to Peter. Now.
Because now he knew where Peter was.
And he wasn't letting him leave again.
Upon landing, Tony was still as frantic as he was before he left. He carded a hand through his hair, as he quickly ran to the cabin that his kid had included with the address text.
Tony skidded to a stop when he reached the cabin, taking deep, slow, and panicked breaths.
Before raising his fists and knocking. There's a beat where all that Tony can feel and hear is the flame of hope growing in his body, beating faster and faster as he waited impatiently for a response from inside the door.
"Come in..!" A tired voice called from inside, Tony felt tears prick into the corners of his eyes as he snapped the door open.
His heart stops.
"Kid."
"..Hi, Mr. Stark." Peter choked, and before he could stop himself, he ran into Tony's arms, hugging him tightly.
The flames of hope reach his entire body. And swallowed him whole.
---
Spider-Fact:
A spider is nothing without it's web.
WEB:
By definition; a spider's home.