Shaky Hands
I stood up dizzily and grabbed onto my nightstand to steady myself. My head was aching and my vision was cloudy. I felt like shit, to say the least.
“Peter, it appears your heart rate is elevated and your blood pressure is low. I’d advise you to notify Mr. Stark,” Friday’s voice came through the speakers. I winced, the sound splitting through my skull, worse than any Spider-Man blow I’ve received.
“I’m fine, Friday. Please don’t tell Mr. Stark.” I tried to sound convincing, but my voice cracked halfway through. After a few more protests, Friday fell silent, though I could feel her reluctance hanging in the air.
Dragging my feet toward the bathroom, I stripped off my pajamas and stepped into the shower. The moment the hot water hit my back, the world tilted again. I leaned against the tile and closed my eyes. My stomach twisted. My hands shook.
When I got out, I avoided looking at myself at first, fear of what I’d see. Eventually, I had to face it. The mirror was fogged except for the center, which I previously wiped clean with my towel.
I opened my eyes and the person I saw looked nothing like me.
My skin had gone this awful, sickly kind of pale—more gray than white. My eyes looked too big for my face, and there were dark circles so deep they looked painted on. I was losing weight again. I could feel it in my ribs any time I breathed, the breathlessness whenever I went up a set of stairs.
Nobody has noticed yet, I plan to keep it this way. Mr. Stark would force me to the medbay, trying to fix me like I was one of his suits.
The past week has been a nightmare. Anything I do makes me dizzy, I can barely patrol anymore. Something is wrong with me. I eat like I should, I sleep plenty, and drink enough water. I don’t know why this is happening.
“Petey?” A tiny voice startles me, knocking on the bathroom door. “Daddy wanted me to tell you breakfast was ready.” Morgan said through the door.
“I’ll be right out Morgan, I’m just finishing getting ready.” I smiled as I heard her little footsteps run away.
I got dressed quickly, styling my unruly curls. I sluggishly made my way towards the kitchen, resisting the urge to gag. Morgan jumped up to hug me, resulting in me almost falling over from lack of balance.
“Oof,” I groaned as she jumped on to me and giggled. I wobbled slightly and carefully set her down.
“Breakfast is ready.” Tony called, turning to the two of us.
“It’s not your cooking is it?” I asked, cringing dramatically.
“Wow, how dare you insult my cooking.” He gasped and acted offended. I’d been living here for over a year now, I knew what disaster it could become when Tony tried to cook. “But no, Pepper made pancakes and bacon.”
“Yay!” Morgan exclaimed, running to sit at the table.
I walked over slowly, trying not to make anything too obvious. My mind was foggy and dizziness was making it hard to move normally. I collapsed into a chair and took some deep breaths.
“You okay Pete? You don’t look so good…” Tony asked, looking me up and down with a concerned look on his face.
“Yeah, fine.” I assured him, plastering on my very convincing fake smile. He let it go and went back to dishing food for us. I ate quickly, even though I wanted to throw up, just so I could get to school.
The morning flew by in a blur. I had a migraine by second period and could barely maintain focus in any of my classes. Every time I stood, it felt like I would fall to the floor any minute. Ned kept his usual chipper demeanor and talked my ear off between and sometimes during every period. By the time lunch came around I wanted nothing more than to go home and back to sleep.
“Are you getting anything?” Ned asked as he turned to go to the lunch line. I shook my head and shrugged.
“Not hungry.” I mumbled which wasn’t really a lie, I was not hungry. My stomach twisted with every step and my throbbing skull made the nausea even worse. I trudged over to our usual table to find MJ indulged in a book.
“Hey loser, you look like crap. Where’s your lunch?” She asked soon after I sat down.
“Gee, thanks. Didn’t get any, not feeling like it.” I explained and she nodded.
“Maybe you should go to the nurse. We both know Stark would drop everything to come get you.” I shook my head and sighed in response.
“I’m fine, there’s only three periods left. I can make it. There’s no point in making him come, I’ll just be interrupting something important.”
MJ was about to respond but was quickly cut off by Flash who presumably came to harass me as usual.
“Aw, look who it is,” Flash said, voice dripping with mockery as he strode over to our table, tray in hand. “Puny Penis Parker. What’s the matter, Parker? Finally realized nobody wants to be your friend since you lied about the Stark Internship?”
I sighed and didn’t look up. “You know I’m not lying. Please go away, I don’t want to deal with you today” I muttered coldly. I didn’t have the energy to deal with him today. My hands were trembling under the table, and I could feel sweat collecting on the back of my neck despite how cold I felt.
“You don't want to deal with me today?” he mocked with an ear piercing, fake laugh. “Dude, you look like you’re not gonna make it through today.” He leaned over, peering at my face with exaggerated curiosity. “Are you sick or just extra pathetic right now?”
MJ closed her book with a sharp snap. “Back off, Flash.”
“Relax, I’m just worried about our boy Penis here,” Flash said, grinning as he reached out and smacked the back of my head. The motion made my vision blur for a second, the nausea surging in my stomach like a wave. “He looks like a walking corpse.”
I clenched my eyes shut and took a steadying breath, trying to keep my composure. The last thing I needed was to collapse in front of Flash. That would just be the highlight of his week.
“Seriously, what’s wrong with you?” Flash continued. “Finally caught up to your brain that you peaked in like, eighth grade?”
Ned had just returned with his tray, eyebrows furrowing as he took in the scene. “Come on, man, knock it off.”
Flash just smirked and stepped closer. “Or what, Leeds? You gonna bore me to death with star wars crap?”
I forced myself to stand, the sudden movement sending a jumble of black dots dancing across my vision. My knees buckled slightly, but I caught myself on the edge of the table.
“Don’t you have anything better to do?” I asked, voice cracking as I tried to talk.
“Nope,” Flash shrugged. “I guess I’ll leave you alone for now. You look like you’re one breath away from keeling over. Wouldn’t want to catch whatever disease you seem to be infected with.”
He shoved me back, making me fall to the ground. He laughed as he walked off, the sound echoing too loudly in my head. My legs were shaking as I attempted to stand back up, too quickly, and the world spun around me.
“Hey,” MJ said quietly, pushing her water bottle toward me as I sat back down at the table. “Flash is an idiot. Don’t let him get to you.”
I nodded, resting my head on the cold table, but I could feel it—the pressure in my chest, the cold sweat, the pounding in my ears. Something was really wrong.
Somehow I made it through the day, faking laughs and avoiding being called on. The teachers seemed to notice, sensing I was tired, but they didn’t say anything. No one said anything.
Ned and I walked to decathlon practice, my head still spinning as we walked. I blinked hard, trying to will away the constant blurring of my vision. MJ was already there, sitting at a long table and flipping through flash cards. She looked up at me and gave a light nod, I smiled slightly at the action.
“Alright! Let’s do a mock round.” Mr. Harrington yelled, making me wince at the noise.
My legs somehow carried me to the stage and I tried my best to follow along, answering questions I knew. They were easy at first, the questions, then they got harder. My brain was swimming in thick molasses, making it impossible to find the answers.
“Wrong, Peter to you?” Mr. Harrington said, turning from Flash to me. I stared at him blankly, having no idea what he just asked. “Peter.” He repeated, “The answer?” I heard Flash snicker and Mr. Harrington was getting impatient.
“I—um..” My voice wobbled.
The room tilted around me, causing me to lose my balance. My vision tunneled and I blinked harshly, trying my best to stay awake.
Someone called my name out but I couldn’t give an answer. My knees gave way and I fell to the floor harshly, the world turning dark around me.
*
“Peter?” MJ’s voice cut through the fog in my head. I felt her shake me slightly and I squeezed my eyes shut. The bright fluorescents made my head hurt even more than it already did. “Peter, come on, wake up.”
Why can’t I just sleep?
There was the sound of buzzing students panicking around me. My ears were still ringing. Dizziness overwhelmed my senses as I struggled to open my eyes again.
“—is the nurse still here?” A voice asked in a hushed tone, Flash.
Weird..
“I think so, will someone go check?” Another voice asked, Mr. Harrington.
“You with us Peter?” Ned asked, tapping me again. I blinked slowly and looked around.
“What…” I mumbled, feeling confused.
“You fainted, genius.” MJ rolled her eyes, pushing me back down when I tried to sit up. “Just wait a second, Flash is getting the nurse.”
“M’fine. It’s nothing.”
“You just passed out in front of everyone, you’ve looked horrible all day and you still do. It’s not nothing.” She reiterated and I sighed.
Mr. Harrington kneeled down in front of me. “Has anything like this happened before? Did you know it was coming?” I shrugged, not having energy to answer.
MJ glared at me, giving me a look that told me I shouldn’t lie.
“Well, I’ve been feeling dizzy lately, but I thought it was nothing…” I tried to make an excuse but I could tell they were disappointed. “I’m just tired.” I promised, looking up at my teacher with pleading eyes.
“This is more than ‘tired’ Peter, people don’t just pass out for no reason.” Ned insisted.
“We need to call your guardian—” Mr. Harrington started, but Flash ran in, cutting him off.
“The nurse left, it’s just us.” He called, walking in.
Mr. Harrington nodded and continued, “Then we definitely need to call a guardian.”
I whined looking over at Ned “Please, don’t, I’m fine. I don’t want Mr. Stark to worry.” I begged but Mr. Harrington shook his head.
He stepped out of the room, phone in hand, placing the call right away.
We were silent for a while, the other decathlon students staring at me awkwardly.
“Peter, do you want water or something?” Flash asked, breaking the silence.
“Breaking news, Flash has a heart” MJ deadpanned in a mocking tone, making me smile.
“Um, yeah,” I agreed, coughing slightly when I spoke. He passed a bottle to me and I struggled to sit up. I took slow sips and the cool water slid easily down my throat.
“Please don’t vomit…” Flash whispered, hovering around me.
“I’ll try not to.” I smiled sheepishly
“So, you good?” Ned asked nervously.
“I guess,” I hummed and watched as Mr. Harrington walked back into the room.
“Your dad is on the way.” He announced and walked over to me. “Let’s try and get you off the floor and we’ll just continue the rest of practice everyone,” He explained, saying the last part a little louder so the rest of the team could hear.
Mr. Harrington and Ned helped me to my feet, leading me towards a folding chair. The dizziness hadn’t gone away, but it had faded slightly.
After watching practice for a while Mr. Stark came in quietly.
“Heard you took a swan dive buddy, how’re you feeling?”
“Been better,” I admitted shyly.
“Let’s get you back to the tower, Bruce is ready to check you out in the medbay.”
Tony helped me stand up from the chair, having to carry most of my weight. My legs were wobbly and felt like deadweights. As we made our way to the door I turned to look at my friends.
“Feel better loser,” MJ nodded towards me.
“Text me later,” Ned begged, still looking scared.
“Try not to die Penis.” Flash rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.
“Alright Spider kid, let’s go” Tony instructed, pushing me towards the car.