Chapter 3
Three days later, it’s movie night at the compound.
You still haven’t had the chance to sit down with Barnes or Parker to pull information out of them, and honestly, you’re kind of losing your mind.
After the interaction during the training sim with Yelena, you can’t stop thinking about the way she looked at you.
You generally forget that you have tattoos- they litter both legs, your stomach, your back, but your arms are free of ink save for a small moon and stars on your wrist that’s always covered by a watch.
You’re not surprised that Yelena hadn’t seen them yet.
You’re not one to show more skin than just your arms, the insecurities surrounding your body normally getting the better of you. Your suit is full-coverage, and you don’t think you own a single pair of shorts.
The other members of your team haven’t seen them either, except Wanda, who accidently hit you with a blast of magic one day during practice that burned a hole through your pant leg. You’d given her a small tour, but she never saw them fully.
Watching Yelena take in some of the art on your body had apparently boosted your confidence, because for the first time probably ever, you thought that maybe you should go buy some pajama shorts and wear them to movie night .
So here you are, standing at the mall, intimidated as hell by the amount of stores and people surrounding you.
The search lasts for probably thirty minutes before you’re able to find something that piques your interest: a matching silk set, deep red with pink florals. The bottoms aren’t terribly short like most of the others, the top a button-up long sleeve.
You’re a little hesitant as you stand in line to check out, but determined to actually show off the ink that you’ve spent so much money on over the years.
The lady rings you up and she compliments your choice, then you thank her and head back to the parking garage.
Three hours until movie night .
Meanwhile back at the compound, Yelena is having a full-blown meltdown as she confides in Bucky.
He was simply trying to read a new book he picked up last week in the comfort of his bed when the blonde barges in without knocking.
“James,” she says matter-of-factly. “I need help.”
Before the poor man can respond, she’s groaning and depositing herself on the floor, sitting criss-crossed in front of him.
“Hi, Bucky, can I come in? Great to see you, can we chat?” He mocks, eyes still skimming the pages.
“No time.” She mutters, “I have a problem. Did you know she has tattoos?”
“Who are we talking about?” Barnes questions.
“You know who I am talking about! She has so manyyyy,” she whines, her head lolls back, and she dramatically allows her body to follow, hitting the floor with a light thud.
She’s clearly miserable .
Bucky knows she’s talking about you based on the way she’s had these same (multiple) breakdowns over some random thing (petting a stray cat, bringing her snacks, humming when you have headphones in, you fucking name it) you’ve done previously.
“I didn’t, but it wouldn’t surprise me.” He shrugs, unfazed.
She’s still groaning as she lays there.
“I think she is trying to kill me, James.”
“She is not trying to kill you, Yelena.”
“But- she is so cool already, and now she is so much cooler. I did not even get to see them all. How am I supposed to make it through the movie,” she whines, throwing her arm over her eyes.
“You watch the movie, Yelena. That’s literally all you need to do.” Bucky sighs, finally placing his book on the side table to give her his full attention.
“I don’t know why you won’t just talk to her. You clearly have a crush.”
The blonde sits up again, an offended look on her face, “No I do not!”
“Yes you do.”
“I-” she takes a moment to compose herself before whispering.
“James, I am a widow . We do not have crushes, we do not get that luxury,” her eyes quickly grow watery as a hardened, solemn look falls across her face.
Bucky knows this feeling all too well, understanding how hard it is to allow yourself some comfort, some freedom , after not having autonomy over your body or mind for the majority of your life.
James still finds it difficult, even though he’s had more time to be himself than Yelena has been able to be herself.
Plus, he’s always had a soft spot for her. No matter how much she pushes his buttons.
He sees himself in her.
So, Bucky gets out of bed, and walks over to her. He places himself next to her on the floor.
“You are not a widow anymore. You are Yelena Belova . A Red Room-trained assassin, yes, but that is not all you are.”
He places a hand softly on her knee.
“I know this is hard. I understand more than anyone else here what you have been through. We were used as weapons and had no other option.” His voice is gentle, treading lightly.
“But, allow yourself some… grace, kid. Have fun, get into shit, live the life they never let you dream about .”
A small sob escapes her as she leans against his metal shoulder, the coolness of it refreshing on her heated face.
“It’s gonna be a struggle, but fuck , Yelena, it’s so worth it to feel things wholly after a lifetime of being controlled.”
He lifts his arm and wraps it around her, pulling her in against his side, enveloping her in a firm hug.
“Just because you weren’t allowed to have compassion or empathy or a chance to love things… that doesn’t mean you can’t start now.”
They sit like this for a minute, Bucky keeping a tight grip on her, a reminder that he’s here for her. He showers her with words of affirmation, hoping that he may be able to break through to her.
Once Yelena’s breathing is steady and her sniffles start to subside, he has a Thought .
Bucky is observant, it comes with the job. He sees the way you keep an eye on Yelena in the field, checking in on her far more than you do anyone else. Watches as you trail behind her more than Wanda now, and how you laugh at every single one of her stupid fucking jokes.
James has a soft spot for you as well. He knows how much your anxiety can bother you, the way some days it’s hard for you to even get out of bed.
He’d taken you under his wing, seeing just how lost you were when you came to the compound.
You reminded him of Yelena.
But, he’s also witnessed you improve with both your talents in the field and your mental health. Hell, he hardly has to remind you to take your meds anymore (take notes, Parker).
He can’t deny that Yelena has helped with this too, sparring with you and working to build your strength from the beginning, so you could be more comfortable on missions.
So maybe, just maybe, this could be beneficial for the both of you.
“And, who knows, kid. Maybe she likes you too.”
The blonde can’t see the shit-eating grin that spreads across Bucky’s face as he says it, but she hears it.
Yelena instantly pulls out of his grasp, examining him closely.
“James, what are you talking about,” Yelena replies, her face hard. “Has she said something?”
Bucky hasn’t spoken to you about it yet, what him and Peter have been talking about.
He hasn’t told you that Yelena fawns over you when you aren’t looking. About the way she keeps your favorite snacks in her room where she keeps her weapons, how she places them inside her vest before missions just in case the jet doesn’t have them on the way back to the compound.
He hasn’t gotten to tell you that the assassin literally forces him and Parker to listen to her rant about how pretty you look when you’re in the heat of a battle. How she loves to watch the way your powers swirl around you while you and Wanda work to cover the team from above, even as debris falls around her on the ground.
He hasn’t had the chance to let you know that Yelena Belova, a former black widow, a world-class assassin, would willingly throw herself in front of the worst enemies imaginable if it meant keeping you safe and happy.
Hasn’t been able to tell you that Yelena is a fucking simp for you .
“No, but I have a hunch.”