Bad Grandpa (Naruto)
Losing an arm had been pretty shitty, and the childhood of village-wide shunning hadn't been great, but finding out Hinata had left their baby with Kakashi is actually the worst thing that's ever happened to Naruto.
"Hinata," he says, clawing at his face.
Hinata, who's Hyuuga get and fucking cold when she wants to be, continues to calmly unpack their bag. Five minutes ago this onsen had been bliss. It was quiet. There was a futon, and someone else to cook, and no Boruto sobbing with lingering baby reflux that had Naruto sobbing with him because he was so tired and anytime Boruto was upset Naruto was upset. Now this room is a traitor's palace.
"You left our precious, perfect, amazing, pure — "
"You called him a little shit four times yesterday," she reminds him.
" — perfect pure baby with — with…" he trails off. He can't even finish the sentence.
"He's the Rokudaime. He's entrusted with the safety of the entire village — you helped put his face on Hokage Mountain," Hinata says relentless, and lays out a futon. It's like, 11 a.m., and Naruto is already so excited to see it he's almost distracted from his righteous horror.
"Our poor perfect pure baby," Naruto wails. "With him."
Hinata pulls the covers up and crawls under them. She's still in her traveling clothes. "You trained with someone you called the Pervy Sage."
Naruto had learned many things from the Pervy Sage, none of which he feels are relevant at this juncture.
"I wasn't our baby," he says.
Hinata's entire answer is a soft snore.