Chapter 5
Most of the beings rightfully considered to be demons maintain the highly independent habits and solitary, nomadic customs common to the majority of large predators. To true demons, and the majority of Hanyou as well, the considerations of family and young are secondary to the whims of the creature itself. Jinchuuriki, however, are tied to and fully dependent upon the stability of their family units for their own sanity and survival. The pack, though a hierarchical social structure, is unique in that the alpha puts the welfare of his or her subordinates and young above all other concerns. Completely devoted to the happiness of both mates and offspring, the Jinchuuriki is easily blinded to external threats to his or her person alone. Jinchuuriki are bound intrinsically to the harmony of their packs and are, therefore, most vulnerable when chaos or discord disrupt the delicate balance of their family structure.
Koumyuo Sanzo, Lives and Habits of Far Eastern Demons
Naruto paced, feeling nervous, just outside the bathroom door as Sakura was sick for the bizzilionth time that morning. Her morning nausea had only gotten worse and lately the girl could barely drag herself out of bed for her hospital shifts. Naruto winced as the sounds of another round of dry retching filtered through the thin bathroom door. She should not be this sick, there was no way puking that much could be normal. Naruto sighed, reaching for the door handle and pulling his hand away once again. Sakura's moods were unpredictable and last time he had gone to her while she was sick, the girl had practically bitten his head off. Naruto wanted to help, but making Sakura mad only seemed to make everything worse. The jinchuuriki groaned and continued his pacing.
Sasuke sat moodily on the tatami mats with his tea and his books, trying to look unconcerned and failing miserably. The dark haired ninja had been reading the same line of his technique scroll for the past hour, eyes glued to the bathroom door as if he could burn it down through sheer force of concentration alone. The circles beneath Sasuke's eyes were bruise-like and ghastly in the gentle light of the room. The dark haired ninja was not sleeping, resting only a couple hours at a time, vigilant and twitching at every shadow. Naruto felt torn, constantly worrying about whether or not Sasuke could die from sleep deprivation and wondering if Sakura really was as 'fine' as she insisted. The jinchuuriki choked back a sudden flash of panic, clenching his fists and trying to master his emotions. Perhaps Sakura would have said that he was nervous, but the feeling was so much worse than mere anxiety. Naruto felt as if the level ground, the very Earth itself, that he had come to depend upon for any kind of solace was tipping precariously beneath him. Everything was falling apart.
The jinchuuriki could not shake the sensation that something was desperately, horribly wrong with both of his mates. Sasuke was an excellent soldier and, like all truly great ninja, he had always been able to sleep when and where he could. Naruto had once watched him catch a few hours of sleep in the middle of a pitched battle! Now Sasuke, his impervious Sasuke, was walking the halls of their home at all hours of the night like a maddened spirit, hunting for spies and assassins. Sakura, ever fiery, was even more easily pushed to anger as the pregnancy progressed and Sasuke's paranoia had been the topic of many passionate arguments between the two of them. To make matters worse, Naruto was still worried about what might be happening with Sai. He had not managed to find any kind of real resolution to the problem and the sensation that he had missed something really important nagged at his mind. Sai was an odd person even at the best of times, but there was something markedly and disturbingly different about his behavior. Sai never drew the same thing more than once or twice, but in his book Naruto had seen dozens of portraits of himself and Sakura. The whole thing set Naruto on edge and at a time where he already had more than enough to occupy his mind.
Naruto chewed hard on his lip, listening to Sakura groan and watching Sasuke twitch and wondering if he was just going to start screaming. He had to talk to them, he had to do something or everything he loved could be destroyed. Talking to Sasuke had lately become almost impossible and so the only course left was direct action. Direct action was something Sasuke understood, but Sakura would be furious… He took a breath and tried to think, one thing at a time.
Master Jiraiya had often counseled him to approach an uncertain situation at its periphery, working ever closer to the true root of the danger. If he could just figure out for certain what the hell was going on with Sai, then perhaps the revelation might cast some light onto Sasuke's odd behavior. As for Sakura…the time for thinking was growing short, but at least then he could eliminate an additional source of stress. Naruto wondered briefly if talking to Sasuke about Sai might at least help him to stop worrying about the artist and decided that he enjoyed breathing too much to risk it. He had been chewing on the problem and trying to find an appropriate moment to take Kyuubi's advice and ask Sakura about it for over a week. No time was ever ideal. Either she was running off to deal with some kind of trauma emergency at the hospital or fast asleep or being violently sick. He sighed.
The whole thing was stupid. Naruto needed to concentrate on Sakura and Sasuke, but Sai had still been a teammate and a close friend. Something about all those portraits nagged heavily on his mind, making everything else seem even more unstable than it already was. Naruto needed to understand, to be sure. The other man was certainly not the most functional person he had ever known and had trouble with people even at the best of times. The idea that something very pertinent to both himself and his mate might have escaped his notice seemed more and more likely. Sakura groaned from within the bathroom and Naruto decided that one hour and thirteen minutes of dry heaving in solitude was more than enough. He opened the door, finding his wife in a pale, sweaty, miserable sprawl on the floor.
"Sakura…" He whispered.
"Go away…I'm not done yet…" She groaned.
"Sakura…I want to call Tsunade." Naruto whispered, coming to kneel beside her.
"Don't…you…dare…" She hissed, still managing to sound scary even while whispering around a throat made raw by vomiting.
"She can help you! Come on!" Naruto urged.
"I don't need any help. This is normal. It is like this for everyone. Leave me alone." The girl muttered sullenly into the tiles of the bathroom floor.
"I'm not going anywhere! Please, Sakura, just let Tsunade do a couple tests or…something. Maybe it is normal, but there has to be something we can do! I'm really worried!" Naruto whined.
"It'll pass…just a few more weeks…" Sakura argued stubbornly.
"You need to see a doctor. Now." Naruto said, crossing his arms.
"I AM a doctor."
"You aren't an obstetrician! Stop being stupid!" Sasuke snapped from the adjoining room.
"Shut up Sasuke!" Sakura snarled.
"He's right, something could be seriously wrong…"
"I'm FINE dammit!" She bellowed.
"You are not! You can't even hold down water!" Sasuke shouted, obviously worried and now angry as well.
"Teme, you aren't helping…" Naruto groaned.
"I make the decisions about my body, by Kami! Not Tsunade, not Naruto and definitely not YOU!" Sakura snarled back at Sasuke.
"I don't want to watch my wife DIE!" Sasuke roared.
"Sakura…please…" Naruto pleaded.
"No dammit! Close the fucking door!" She snapped.
"Dobe! Grab her and take her to Tsunade before she vomits up a major organ!" Sasuke snarled, coming to stand beside Naruto's shoulder like an avenging shadow.
"Honey…seriously, you can't just go through all of this without seeing the doctor…" Naruto offered softly, hoping to appeal to her reason.
"If it were me, or dead-last here, suffering this way…would you just sit there and do nothing?" Sasuke snarled. Naruto ran a shaking hand over his face.
He did not want to see what would happen if Sakura and Sasuke chose that moment to fight. Lately they were always fighting and the strife wore on him almost like a physical thing, like a rusty blade against his mind. The behavior just wasn't normal. He fought with Sasuke almost constantly, but Sakura usually managed to diffuse the raven haired ninja's temper or ignore his barbs before the argument got out of hand. Now, however, with her nerves raw and her hormones making her sick, Naruto did not have much hope that she would resist slapping him at the very least. An all-out brawl between the two of them was rare, but certainly not something a poor, innocent baby would ever want to be caught in the middle of. Sakura bared her teeth at Sasuke, furious, but unable to dismiss his logic.
"I'm a woman. I can handle it." She spat.
"That is sincerely the stupidest thing I think I have ever heard you say!" Sasuke shouted.
"Everyone, let's calm down…" Naruto said, smiling and moving his arm across the portal to keep Sasuke from storming through into the bathroom.
"Fuck you! She is wasting away in front of our eyes and you want me to be CALM?" Sasuke railed.
"Maybe if you weren't such a freak about letting me go OUT!" Sakura shouted.
"Hey…let's not get into that again…it's okay…" Naruto hedged trying to head off the argument.
"What does going out have to do with anything! You are safer HERE!" Sasuke spat.
"Fine! Then I guess going to Tsunade is out of the question…" Sakura replied tartly.
"Perfect! Baka can bring her here!" Sasuke hissed, crossing his arms. Sakura snarled, low and furious.
"Actually…I think going to the hospital is a better idea…" Naruto said, almost pleading.
"I said NO DAMMIT!"
"You stupid…stupid…GIRL!" Sasuke shrieked.
"STOP it!" Naruto shouted, finally losing his temper.
The heavy thrum of the thrall quieted Sasuke and Naruto could feel his subordinate's body quivering hard against his own as the pleasure of the thrall pulsed through him. He knew that Sasuke would be furious, that he hated how the thrall forced him to feel when he was upset. In the throes of the influence, Sasuke could only feel the nagging desire to obey and the intense euphoria that came from his submission. The effect of the link made a lie of his rage. Naruto regretted the words as soon as he said them, but the small, pounding, confused part of his mind was so very grateful for the respite. He should have waited, worked things out calmly, but he just could not TAKE the fighting any longer. Naruto took a shuddering breath and then another.
"Sakura…please go to the doctor, I can't bear it to see you this way…" He whispered.
"I am not going out where everyone can see me like…like this… I'm NOT!" Sakura shouted, bursting in tears.
His eyes widened. She had been avoiding help just…just because she did not want to look weak? The girl cried for a few minutes and the tension in the air began to ease a fraction. Sasuke was no longer shaking, his dark eyes focused on Sakura, deep and intense and trying to understand. Sakura was rarely mysterious, but Naruto still felt as though he had been lied to on some level. She had somehow managed to mask the fact that her true hesitancy to seek any kind of outside help was because of how she looked.
"Oh…" Naruto said, finally beginning to understand.
"Tch…stupid. You are beautiful." Sasuke hissed softly, the anger slowly draining from his face.
Sakura cried harder, trying to hide her face in her sleeves, her body shaking. By Kami, when had she gotten so thin? Naruto could feel her bones through the thin silk of her kimono as he laid his hands on her shoulders. The jinchuuriki swallowed hard, feeling dizzy as he really looked at his wife. The rose haired kunoichi was always beautiful to him, devastatingly beautiful, and perhaps that was why he had not really seen the change before. Sakura had looked nauseas and sick for several weeks, but somehow she had managed to hide the fact that she was losing weight. He hadn't even paused to wonder why she suddenly seemed to prefer heavy kimonos over the fitting high collared dresses she usually wore. His fingers shook against her and Sakura made an angry noise, shoving Naruto's hands away as he tried to embrace her. The jinchuuriki sighed, feeling panicked, glancing up to where Sasuke still stood leaning against the door frame. The dark haired ninja shrugged, but there was nothing confident in his posture. He was worried about her. Both of them were and something had to be done.
Naruto stood, feeling almost like crying himself and resisting the urge because he firmly believed that only one of them should ever by totally hysterical at a given time. Sasuke pushed past him into the bathroom, silently gathering the sobbing girl up into his arms. Sakura accepted the touch and Naruto practically sighed in relief. He needed a moment to stand quietly and try to stop freaking out. He had failed her somehow, he should have seen, he should have known what she was thinking. Her appearance was really the only thing that she was ever insecure about and looking the way she did now…it was no wonder she was upset. She looked sick and tired and Naruto knew how much she hated for others to think that she was weak. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. Everything would be alright, he would MAKE it alright. Sakura was strong, she would be oaky, and Tsunade would know what to do.
Sasuke held her in his arms, stroking her hair with firm, but gentle strokes as Naruto managed to find his composure again. The jinchuuriki almost wanted to shout at her, to tell her that if anything happened to her that he would simply DIE. Naruto wanted rail at her for being so stupid, hiding things just because of how she looked. Still, Naruto mastered his temper and knelt beside his mates as they embraced. They stayed that way for a while, saying nothing and trying to calm the quivery fear strung like spider silk between them. Bit by bit, Sakura's sobbing calmed and the angry flush left Sasuke's cheeks.
She had always been so worried about what other people thought about her. The opinions of her peers mattered to Sakura, what they thought of her face, her body, her strength, was deeply important to her. Sakura was a proud woman, strong and confident in her work and lovemaking, but she had been deeply insecure about her appearance for as long as Naruto had known her. Now, pale and sick and at her weakest, she only wanted to hide. He could sympathize with the idea, knowing her as well as he did, but that did not mean it made any damn sense. Naruto knew what was happening, everything actually made perfect sense, but he struggled with the thought nonetheless. The terror of facing some kind of immaterial judgment from other people was not something he had ever known. Naruto had experienced the deep pain of being hated and feared and the aching isolation such prejudice brought. He had always wanted to be liked, but the jinchuuriki had never really been afraid of what others might think, not like Sakura was.
Naruto sighed and motioned to Sasuke to pick their wife up off the floor. Sasuke complied quickly, rising with the perfect grace of an exceptional ninja, even with his burden. Sakura turned her face away from Sasuke's collar to glare at him. Naruto glared back, but still stroked her cheek affectionately.
"I'm not going." She snarled softly.
"Yes, you are. Believe it." Naruto replied, softly but in a tone that left no room for argument.
"Tsunade is my sensei…I don't want her to see me like this…" Sakura moaned, miserable.
"I'll burn out her eyes then." Sasuke replied with perfect seriousness.
OoOoOoO
Sakura laid back against the stiff sheets of the hospital bed, trying to find a comfortable position. Her belly ached badly from the constant retching and her back ached as well, but at least her stomach was feeling mostly stable. Even though she knew that the entire argument was utterly foolish, she was still angry at Sasuke and Naruto for dragging her into the clinic. Sakura was not about to go whining to her sensei over a little bit of morning sickness of all things, not when she had worked so hard to gain Tsunade's approval. Everyone would think that she was weak, pathetic. The girl struck her fist sullenly against the sheets, listening to the unpleasant crunch of sterile bedding washed with too much starch. Damn hospital beds were absolutely intolerable unless you were dying and even then she often wondered how her patients managed to stand them. Even worse than the sheets and gossipy nurses and the indignity of an ultrasound was the fact that she was hopelessly bored. Tsunade had not managed to find time to speak with her in person yet, having been called away to help with a training accident, and Sakura knew that it could be hours until her sensei could see her.
Tsunade had ordered a few basic tests and now the only thing left to be done was wait for the results. Sakura grumbled. She really should not have even needed any kind of care for another two months at least. Naruto was just being paranoid and Sasuke was even worse. All women got sick, all women threw up, her men had gotten angry and upset over nothing. They worried too much and while Sakura appreciated the concern, she would have preferred to be sick in the privacy of her own home. She sighed, measuring the distance to the bathroom just in case and wondering if she should try to meditate. If Sakura hadn't been bodily dragged from the house, she might have had the foresight to bring a medical journal to read or at least some meditation balls to practice her dexterity.
As it was she had the white of the walls and the indignant beeping of the monitor on her heart and nothing more. True, she could call for Naruto and Sasuke, but Sakura was not sure she wanted to risk the chance of another argument in the middle of her work place. Naruto was prone to anger when he was upset and Sasuke was either angry or sleeping, in any case a bad combination. A familiar nurse came into the room, nodding casually to her and Sakura managed a smile for the woman. Una was one of her favorite nurses after all and Sakura resisted the urge to sulk in front of one of her best assistants.
"How are you feeling, Doctor?" Una asked, smiling brightly.
"Basically like utter crap, you?" Sakura said, shrugging.
"Hmmm…better than you, I'd say, but my feet have seen better days." The woman sighed, making a show of rubbing her ankle.
"Have you been busy? I haven't been called…" Sakura asked, curious.
"Oh, no, there hasn't been any trauma…well not including that training accident just now. Things in the trauma ward have been pretty mellow. We just have a kind of weird psychiatric case and everyone has been running ragged over that." Una replied, moving efficiently as she spoke to check the monitors.
"A psyche case? Who?" Sakura asked, surprised.
"I can't tell you that!" Una sniffed, looking affronted.
"Oh come on! You know I can just find out through the main database next time I'm working. I'm not usually here as a patient you know…" Sakura pushed, crossing her arms.
"Doctors make terrible patients." Una replied, rolling her eyes.
"The worst. Now spill." Sakura said with a wicked smile.
"Well…it's Sai." Una finally relinquished.
"Sai?"
"Yeah, he's managed to develop some kind of intense obsessive compulsive habit…"
"He's drawing." Sakura replied, feeling cold.
"Yeah, how'd you know?" Una asked, one slender eyebrow raised suspiciously.
"He was on my team for a while, drawing is just what Sai does…" Sakura sighed, somehow feeling even sicker than before.
"I'll say. He doesn't eat, he doesn't sleep, he just draws all day and all night and he is thoroughly convinced that he's dying too. I always knew that Root's methods were unethical and this just proves it. Poor kid is completely unhinged…" Una huffed, shaking her head.
"Sai? Unhinged? I doubt that." Sakura said.
"Well, you're the only one who thinks so. Tsunade has him on suicide watch."
"That's ridiculous, Sai would never kill himself. She is misinterpreting the problem. He's probably just stuck on some kind of social issue, he doesn't have any coping skills where people are concerned…" Sakura mused.
"Last time I checked, you were a surgeon not a shrink…"
"I have my moments." Sakura shrugged.
"Ponder if it keeps you entertained. Tsunade-sama will not be back for at least an hour and she has specifically instructed that your case be left to her personally." Una replied.
"That is very kind of her." Sakura said.
"No, just selfish. She can't afford to lose her best surgeon." Una said with a smirk.
Sakura smiled as Una left, giving the nurse a friendly wave as she bustled away looking only mildly har]rassed. As soon as she was alone again, Sakura let the expression slip from her face and began to dissect what Una had said. The situation just did not make sense to her, but she had a strong suspicion that whatever had spooked Naruto so badly in the teahouse more than a week ago was related. Sai was always drawing, he had been sketching in every free moment for as long as she had known him, but Sakura had never known him to draw the same thing over and over again. In many ways, Sai was a bit like a blind, if totally deadly, child. He was easily distracted by any subject that coaxed even the vaguest stirring from his soul. Root had taught him to feel nothing and so Sai had no emotions, but there was no training in the world that could just make a person's feelings go away. Even Sai had an outlet and if he was drawing compulsively, it could only be because he was suffering some kind of terrible emotional pain.
Staring up at the pale green blankness of the ceiling, Sakura could almost see how it might work. He would try to repress the emotion, whatever it was, with work and with training, but in the quiet moments Sai would fall apart. The only way that the pale ninja ever fell apart was to draw, to sketch until his hands bled. Art was the only way that Sai could understand his own reactions to other people, without it he lived in a vacuum. The behavior might seem crazy to someone else, but Sakura knew that all Sai was trying to do was understand what it was he was feeling. Most ninja worked their entire lives to achieve what Sai had been taught as a very young child, to totally dissociate from their emotions. Ironically enough, the paradigm of ninja perfection was happened to be hopelessly flawed. When she had first met Sai, she had loathed him, convinced that he was nothing more than a soulless monster. He seemed like nothing more than a human weapon. However, the truly awful part about it was that he was not an empty shell at all, was just caged and longing to be free. Sakura felt the old anger at Root rise up within her breast thinking about the days when they had been a team. Sai was fearless, ruthless, almost perfect in battle. He was practically impervious to pain and totally objective in his tactical decisions, but unable to understand people's desires and motivations. He could react to a situation, but never predict how his opponents might behave. Sai was baffled by ideas of love, loyalty and sacrifice for anything other than Root, at least until Naruto taught him differently.
The girl bit her lip, thinking a moment and letting her eyes dart to the door. True, she was only dressed in a hospital gown, but they had left her a robe and Sai had seen her in less. He was in trouble and she was one of the very few people who might understand how to help him. Being team mates did not lend itself very well to personal privacy, especially during a mission, so a frumpy hospital gown shouldn't be too much of an issue. Knowing Sai, he probably wouldn't even notice. He was in trouble, he needed her and no one else, except for maybe Naruto, would have the faintest idea what was happening inside his head. Sakura had plenty of time, maybe even hours, before Tsunade returned and nothing else to do. Sai was obviously being mismanaged and she would be ignoring her duty as both a doctor and a friend if she didn't at least try to help. True, she was a trauma surgeon and not a psychologist, but whoever was treating him obviously had no idea what was going on. Naruto was too busy having a total meltdown over her health to help and Sasuke…She frowned. Sasuke would really hate the idea of her sneaking around the hospital alone and unprotected, but, dammit, this was HER hospital!
Decision made, Sakura rose carefully to her feet and put on the robe that was lying draped and ready over a chair. Standing made her feel a little bit dizzy and she knew she was probably dehydrated, but the feeling only lasted a few moments. She could have spared her bare feet the chill of the tile floor, but disdained the hospital issue slippers for the noise they might make. Carefully, quietly, she crept to the door and out into the blissfully empty hallway. For whatever reason, the obstetrics section of the hospital was in the same wing as the psych ward, probably because expectant mothers sometimes suffered depression. She had rarely worked in either of the two departments and so was grateful, at least, that she would not have too much ground to cover trying to find Sai.
Moving silently as only a ninja can, she slunk out into the hall, blending easily into the slender shadows thrown out onto the floor by the abutting ultrasound equipment cart. Ninja rarely had either pregnancies or debilitating psychiatric disorders and so the ward was quiet and relatively empty. Sakura paused to lean heavily on the wall, fighting the weakness and nausea that seemed ever ready to overtake her. She should have taken a moment to check a directory before leaving her room, getting lost in this part of the hospital was not impossible. After a brief rest, she was moving again, senses alert for any staff that might spot her. Sneaking around the nearly deserted psych ward of the hospital hallways was ironic since she practically ruled the trauma theater and she almost giggled.
Thankfully, the walk to the other section of the hospital was short and swift and none of the staff saw her. Sakura wished she had Sasuke's sharingan. Without being able to see Sai's chakra or see a chart with his name, she had no idea which room he might be in. The girl paused, wiped her forehead and looked around. A long row of patient rooms, each equipped with a solid lock, lined the walls. She cocked her head. Only one of the many rooms had light shining from the narrow window. Sakura laughed under her breath and wondered if it might really be that simple.
As she approached the brightly lit window of the room, Sakura felt more and more convinced that Sai was close by. The sharp scent of all-purpose cleaner rose pungently into the air as she neared the portal and the unmistakable sound of a pencil upon paper drifted was clearly audible. Just as she had with Naruto and Sasuke, the girl had learned Sai's presence not only by sight but by using all the stimuli available to her. More than instinct, she had known her teammates by the sound of their breathing, the energy they cast into the air and their pattern of motion. As ninja, knowing the members of one's team by all that they were and not just sight was vital. In the chaos of battle or the silent blackness of a deep night operation, sight was an unreliable sense when it was available at all. She had come to recognize the way Sasuke rose to the balls of his feet when preparing to move and how Naruto held his breath when watching a target. Sai was the same, always moving without even the slightest hint of hesitation, heels placed solidly any time he did taijutsu. The sound she heard was Sai's pencil, charcoal if she wasn't mistaken, and it was as specific to her as the man's fingerprint.
Smiling victoriously, Sakura quickly typed her physician's code into the automated lock on the door. The lock beeped tersely at her and did not open. She frowned. Apparently whoever was overseeing Sai's case had changed the lock from the global hospital code to a specific number. Undeterred, Sakura bit her finger and drew a quick blood seal over the keypad. Instantly, finger prints marking the appropriate set of numbers appeared, glowing soft in the chakra haze she had cast. Sakura typed in the code and opened the door. Sai was sitting on his heels, drawing furiously, totally absorbed in the act and oblivious to her presence. He looked thin and shabby and even more starkly pale than usual. His fingers, scraped raw from constantly drawing, had bled and scabbed and bled again until his hands were a mass of dry looking sores. She winced, fingers tight over her lips to stifle the startled gasp. Even Sakura, who knew the artist very well, was shocked by how bad the problem had gotten.
"Sai. Are you okay?" She asked, carefully leaving the door ajar.
"Sakura…?" He asked, looking up at her with wide, surprised, bloodshot black eyes.
"What's the matter with you? What's going on?" She asked, utterly shocked by his appearance.
"Are you…are you real or am I dreaming again?" He asked carefully.
"I'm real." She asserted, even more worried than before.
"Oh…yes, you must be. In my dreams you never look so sick or skinny." He remarked dryly, smiling his own true, happy smile.
"Thanks." She snapped, rolling her eyes and pulling the hospital robes more tightly around her body.
"You are still beautiful." He replied, as if it was merely a fact, studying her closely.
"Um…Thank you." She replied, blushing hotly.
"Hmmm…now there is even more pink…very beautiful…" Sai muttered.
"Sai! You aren't making any sense!" Sakura shouted.
"You are here." He said, moving to stand, still smiling.
"Yes."
"I have wanted to see you. I hoped I might see you. Why are you here? Are you crazy too?" He asked, cocking his head to survey her more critically.
"No, not really. I'm pregnant." She replied with a shrug.
"Oh. A baby?"
"Yes, that is generally what being pregnant entails." Sakura said, crossing her arms.
"I am aware, is it uncomfortable?" He asked.
"Very." She said with smile.
"Oh." He replied, staring at her belly with focused interest.
"Sai…" She began, making an awkward swishing motion with her hand to deter his gaze.
"Is it Naruto's or Sasuke's?" He asked, blinking.
Sakura was taken aback by the question. Typical of Sai, the inquiry had all the tact of a runaway freight train and no malice whatsoever. The artist was fond of insulting people to see what their reactions might be, but he had long ago learned that baiting Sakura was an excellent way to end up with fractured facial bones. She knew that he had asked out of honest curiosity and nothing more, except perhaps an attempt to be friendly.
"Um…I don't know." She replied, biting her lip.
"Is that bad?" He asked, rubbing at the dark circles beneath his eyes.
"No. I don't think that it's bad. It doesn't really matter anyway." Sakura finally said with a shrug.
"Oh. That's good." Sai replied, staring at her as a drowning person might look at land.
"Sai, I'm here to talk to you. Why do they think you are going to kill yourself?" Sakura asked, setting a gentle hand on his arm.
"I don't know, but it doesn't really matter. I'm dying anyway." He replied in the tone of someone totally resigned to the inevitable.
"Dying? Of what?" Sakura asked, raising a dubious eyebrow.
"Love, I think."
"Love?"
"That's what Shino says about it."
"What? How can anybody possibly die of love! That's ridiculous!" Sakura snapped, hands on her hips.
Sai shrugged, still smiling and began staring earnestly at her belly again. The behavior was unnerving to say the least. With a long suffering sigh the girl put a firm hand over his eyes, but Sai did not protest. Instead, he sighed gently at her touch and Sakura felt something hot and very startling turn over in her belly at the sound. Blushing, the girl pulled her fingers away as if burned. Maybe he was crazy, she thought. Sai had certainly never acted this way before…Sakura snarled under her breath, frustrated by his seemingly incomprehensible thinking and strange reactions. No wonder everyone was convinced that her old team mate was having some kind of psychiatric episode. Still, Sai wasn't stupid or crazy and the fact that he wasn't making any sense was less an indication of madness than it was evidence of some third variable, as yet unknown. There was an likely an important piece of information that everyone had been missing. Sakura tapped her foot, trying to unravel what in the hell he could be talking about. She had a headache, and Sai's apparent break with reality was only making it worse, but all her seething affected him the same way a light breeze might a rock. He waited patiently, cheerful and completely impenetrable.
"How can love kill a person?" She finally asked.
"I am not sure. Truly, there is nothing logical about it. Perhaps my mind is being fooled into killing my body by some kind of jutsu, perhaps I am being poisoned, there is no way to know for sure, but Shino insists that I am in love." Sai said, his flat tone analytical and cool even as his cheeks filled with color.
"How would you even know what being in love feels like?" She asked.
"I don't know."
"Well…What do you feel?" Sakura asked softly, even more worried than she had been before.
"I have pain in my chest, so bad I cannot sleep. I cannot eat. Medicine doesn't help, nothing helps…I draw and the pain is better and…and also worse…" Sai whispered, answering quickly as if he had been asked the same question many times before.
"You draw and that makes it worse…because you feel it more?" Sakura guessed.
"Yes…exactly." Sai said, smiling.
"How long have you been drawing…you know, this way?" The girl asked, gesturing vaguely.
"Almost three years."
Sakura felt her breath catch. Three years, the same amount of time since she had married Naruto and Sasuke. The final piece to the puzzle, the tiny detail that had eluded her sensei and everyone else, could it really be something so…personal? The timing could be mere coincidence, but Sakura could not help feeling as though everything made just a little too much sense. Naruto had seemed so worried after meeting Sai in the tea house that day, he had seen something in the drawings that she hadn't…something that she should have. She had never even imagined Sai to be capable of such depth of feeling, but the nagging suspicion would not go away.
"You draw me." Sakura whispered.
"Yes."
"…and Naruto."
"Yes."
The girl took a deep, trembling breath. She should have known, she should have seen it long before now. Even before Sasuke had returned, even before he had been brought back to Konoha, the tension had been there in the way Sai looked at Naruto. He had gazed at the jinchuuriki as he slept, just watching him breathe and content to do so for hours. When they fought, Sai always moved his body too close, all the way into the sphere of Naruto's personal space, something no ninja would ever do when sparing. Sakura had thought that the behavior was just a new and annoying expression of Sai's utter lack of social skills, she had been too busy trying to anesthetize her entire personality to really care. The girl felt her headache growing worse and barely registered the pain. The feeling, it had been there when Sai bandaged her wounds, in the way that his fingers lingered too long against her skin. The profound, hungry, desire had been there in the deepest night when he had pulled her sleep roll against his own, holding her close even when the night wasn't cold. How long had he been that way? The girl stood, quivering and unsteady, looking into the usually stony black eyes of her old teammate and seeing only pain and heat and desperate wanting.
"Are you in love with me? With us…?" Sakura asked, her mouth dry.
"I must be." Sai confessed, finally shifting his ever still eyes away from Sakura's gaze.
"Oh…Kami…" Sakura breathed, suddenly feeling very dizzy.
"I'm sorry…" He began.
"Oh…Sai…" She wanted to say something, but her tongue felt dry and sluggish.
"Sakura? You do not look well…" His voice sounded worried, which for him was as close as he ever came to true panic.
Sai's tone startled her. Sakura shook herself, trying to clear her head, but the vertigo only became worse. She groaned, feeling weak and off balance. Her heart was pounding with both emotion and something more sinister as well. She suddenly felt extremely ill.
"I…I…" Sakura muttered, trying to find the words.
Her headache which, before, had been little more than a nagging pain now thundered deafeningly in her skull. Her vision was dark and fuzzy around the edges. Sai was calling, shouting, trying to speak to her. Sakura wanted to turn her focus to him, it was important, she knew it was important…The world was spinning, too fast to balance and she was falling. Everything was slow, soft, muffled. Her vision was spinning and it made her sick. She could feel Sai's arms around her as he caught her. He lifted her and the vertigo worsened. She had to talk to him, it was important, but Sakura could not get any sound to come out of her mouth. She was falling, sweaty and shocky, everything spinning too fast…The girl fought it, pushed hard against the heaviness, but eventually succumbed to the pull of oblivion.
OoOoOoO
Sasuke could not understand why Naruto found sitting quietly and being still to be so damn difficult. The blond paced and checked his weapons and paced and cracked his joints and paced some more while they waited outside the exam room. He practically exuded nervous frustration, charging the air with prickly emotion the way lightning could charge the atmosphere with electricity. Sasuke sighed. He was worried too, but the dobe's pacing was only making him feel edgy and uncomfortable. Sakura needed them to be strong, to be calm and while Naruto worked on eroding a furrow into the tiles of the hospital floor, Sasuke was fully occupied just trying to keep his own composure from cracking. Nurses came and went, staring at them and especially at Naruto. Sasuke wanted to kill them for the sulky prejudice in their eyes and the haughty way that they quickened their gate as they moved past the jinchuuriki. As for the blond, he was mercifully oblivious, totally absorbed in his worry over Sakura.
Naruto had lived with this, this ignorant hatred, all his life. He had learned to ignore the looks and the whispers, focusing on the things that made him happy and shutting everything else out. Sasuke had never realized how truly agonizing the subtle torture of so many fearful and malicious glances, day in and day out, could be. How Naruto had avoided a future as a raving sociopath, broken down by the endless suspicion and isolation, was beyond Sasuke's understanding. Of the two of them, it should really have been Naruto making war on Konoha instead of him. Sasuke would not have blamed him if he had, he would have understood the sentiment perfectly, but Naruto had never reacted to the small mindedness of the villagers with violence of his own.
The blond managed to overlook the cruelty and the blatant stupidity of others, letting the hate fall off of his skin like rain water. Sasuke had to confess to himself that he could never have been so impenetrable and perhaps, at least in that respect, Naruto was stronger. The jinchuuriki had often told him that he was saved by his friends, the friends who had accepted him and treated him like a person. Sasuke shuddered a little, he had not been much of a friend, but Naruto was even more grateful to his mates. Sasuke smiled a little at that. If he had managed to do anything good in his life, surely being a part of Naruto's salvation had to count for something. The jinchuuriki would be Hokage, as ridiculous as the idea had seemed when they were children, and he would change Konoha completely. Naruto had little patience for the intrigue of the clans and even less for the meaningless warring that often erupted among the ninja kingdoms. He would bring peace, an inexorable kind of peace that would not be held together by the fragile bonds of hope and constant compromise. Tsunade had as much as named him her successor and the blond's record as a ninja was impressive. True, not quite as impressive as his own, but Sasuke was fully aware that his marriage to Naruto was an achievement for the blond in and of itself. Sasuke could have laughed at the thought. So many people wanted to kill him, but only Sakura and the dobe had been stupid enough to marry him.
Suddenly, Naruto stopped his pacing and snapped his head around sharply to look at one of the doors leading down the hallway opposite to Sakura's exam room. Sasuke tensed, watching carefully. The jinchuuriki cocked his head, listening, and his expression was both intent and confused. Sasuke was about to ask what he heard, when the doors closing off the far section of the hospital clearly labeled as the psyche ward burst open. A deafening boom rocked the floor as a blast of hot air surged through the ruined doors, practically throwing Sasuke to the floor. Naruto, who had been standing closer to the hall, fell hard on his side and rolled to avoid the shrapnel spraying through the waiting area. Bits and pieces of the lock that had once barred the heavy steel doors closed clattered jarringly onto the floor as they practically folded themselves open. Sasuke drew his sword, moving quickly to intercept whatever new threat might be coming through those doors and towards his mate. A figure, barefoot and carrying another person, was running headlong towards the shattered portal casting jutsu as he went.
Sasuke snarled, moving swiftly into a fighting stance as Naruto shook his head and tried to recover from the explosion. With the smoke and the debris obscuring the hall, the identity of the person was impossible to discern, but Sasuke did not care. Whoever it was, he would not let them anywhere near his family. With a fierce hiss, Sasuke moved in front of Naruto who was struggling to stand in the wake of the explosion looking dazed and totally perplexed. Sasuke crouched, gathering himself and inhaling deeply, preparing to spit scalding fire at the unknown assailant. In the close quarters of the hospital hallway, fire would be impossible to escape or deter. At the last moment, Naruto's strong hand found his shoulder and jerked him hard to the side, ruining his aim. Sasuke growled as the fire already gathering in his belly smothered prematurely. The hot air rushed through his throat, scorching his mouth, and Sasuke was left coughing impressive plumes of smoke.
His throat was burned and so cursing at the dobe was nearly impossible, but Sasuke made his displeasure known regardless. As Naruto turned, trying to peer through the ruined doorway, Sasuke easily swept his feet out from under him and they landed in a pile. Naruto had been trying to say something, pointing urgently, but Sasuke's patience had reached its limit. He was tired of constantly worrying that his mates might be in danger and helpless to do anything to protect them. The raven haired ninja had no idea what could have possessed Naruto to stop him from eliminating their attacker, but he was fully invested in beating his alpha into a bloody pulp until the thrall forced him to stop.
"Naruto! Sasuke! Help!" Sai called out as he ran towards them.
"Sai!" Naruto shouted just as he caught Sasuke's knuckles squarely in the mouth.
"It's Sakura! She's…She collapsed!" Sai shouted, sounding calm despite the fact that he had practically blown up half the hospital.
Sasuke paused at them mention of Sakura's name, finally focusing on the limp burden Sai carried in his arms. The long pink hair, trailing nearly to the floor, was enough to fill the raven's still smoldering belly with ice. Kami, his wife, she was hurt…The thought practically tore the very breath from his lungs. Naruto coughed loudly, spitting blood from his injured mouth. Sasuke moved to help him up and then they were both running, ignoring the blood and the argument and the shrapnel and everything except the pale girl lying still in Sai's trembling arms.
OoOoOoO
Tsunade decided that, of the members of team 7 assembled in her office, Sakura was probably the least damaged even though she was actually the patient in question. Naruto's clothing was burned black on one side, a dark purple bruise was slowly healing on his jaw and she could tell that he was still mostly deaf in one ear. Sasuke was covered in tiny flecks of blood, presumably Naruto's, and so covered in soot that his pale skin was almost indiscernible. Even though he was smiling pleasantly, Sai had the appearance of a prisoner of war or perhaps a beleaguered refugee. Malnourished, sleep deprived and even more pale than usual, the man looked to be no more than six inches from the grave. Tsunade sighed and re-checked her notes.
"You really should have come to me earlier…" The Hokage said, rubbing her fingers irately across her temple.
"We would have…" Sasuke began, glaring meaningfully at Sakura, who studiously ignored him.
"Sakura does not like being told what to do." Sai noted.
"No one asked you!" Sasuke hissed.
"There isn't anything I could have done differently anyway." Sakura said, looking both scared and nauseas.
"Old Lady…please…" Naruto began, moving to stand beside Sakura.
"Perhaps my opinion would have helped…" Sai said, smiling.
"Help! You blew up half that damn hospital!" Sasuke railed.
"Well? What is the matter?" Naruto asked, glaring at Sasuke.
"The child's chakra is unusually well developed and Sakura's body is rejecting the energy as foreign. Usually a person does not develop their own chakra signature until they are almost four years old. To have a fully developed and individualized chakra pattern in a fetus is almost totally unheard of. I would never have thought that such a phenomenon was even possible." Tsunade explained with a long sigh.
"What do we do to treat this?" Sasuke asked.
"I'm not actually sure…I have only read about something like this happening once before." The Hokage replied.
"I'm sure I'll be fine…" Sakura said patting Naruto's knee.
"You are NOT fine!" Sasuke shouted.
"Of course shouting at her will make it better." Sai muttered sarcastically.
"Why are you even HERE!"
"They think I'm crazy…" Sai replied with a yawn.
"Perfect." Sasuke snapped, crossing his arms.
"Sasuke is right. There has to be something we can do! I can't just watch this happen!" Naruto said, sounding nearly hysterical.
"Naruto, please, it'll be okay…" Sakura whispered, voice soft and concerned.
"I can't lose you…I just…can't." Naruto whispered.
"Wait…are you saying that this could kill her?" Sasuke asked, black eyes wide and fearful.
"Possibly, the risk is definitely something that has to be considered." Tsunade said.
There was a moment of thick silence as Naruto exchanged a frightened look with Sasuke and both men reached forward to hold Sakura's hands. Sai just stared, open mouthed, as if the possibility that Sakura could die had never actually occurred to him before. Tsunade bit her lip. The Hokage had a few ideas about how to help her favorite student, but nothing truly solid. The Hokage loved Sakura almost like a daughter and could not imagine a world without the rose haired woman. Moreover, Sakura had to survive for the sake of Konoha. Without her Naruto's pack would fall to pieces and Tsunade's hopes for the future would be destroyed. Naruto was an ideal choice for Hokage, he loved Konoha and was not affiliated with any of the entrenched clans. The jinchuuriki was powerful enough to rule and he could be both sympathetic and objective to the concerns of all. Without him, the risk of civil war would be tremendous as candidates from each clan vied with each other for the position and authority. Even if another person as strong, kind and temperate as Naruto could be found, the loss of the Sakura would cause even greater problems. Tsunade seriously doubted that Naruto would survive the loss of his mate and, without him, Sasuke would be unhinged, unhindered and utterly unstoppable. She shuddered.
"You have to save her." Sai said softly.
"That is the general idea." Tsunade replied dryly.
"It's just like how it was with Neji, isn't it? Maybe…Maybe we could try something like that, you know, a transfer…" Naruto suggested.
"Basically, she is having a kind of immune reaction to the child's energy. Unless her body can achieve balance with the foreign chakra, she and the baby will both die. She doesn't need more energy Naruto, she needs to try to tolerate the kind she already has." Tsunade explained.
"Oh…" The jinchuuriki whispered, lowering his eyes.
"What about power limiters? Like the kind some demons use…" Sasuke offered.
"Restraining her energy won't help, it's the baby's energy that is the problem and if the child is expressing such defined chakra patterns, it is likely for a good reason." Tsunade replied, watching Sakura.
The girl looked drawn and very frightened now. Tsunade frowned and wondered if she should have been more delicate about the situation. Naruto was obviously close to panic, with Sasuke only a few heartbeats behind, and Sai seemed to have fallen into some kind of catatonic fit. She groaned. The kunoichi's hesitation to ask for any kind of help had made her angry and not without reason, but now that Sakura was good and scared, ready to listen, the Hokage had to have something to say. Her research into the problem had yielded only a few very old, very vague suggestions, but Naruto was right. Something had to be done.
"I think the best course of action will be for Sakura to avoid any expression of her own chakra. That means that, as of now, you are on maternity leave. You cannot use your chakra to heal or to fight or to create jutsu. Any time your own energy is at the forefront, the rejection will likely grow worse." Tsunade said.
"Six whole months of maternity leave! That's ridiculous!" Sakura shouted rising to her feet.
"We'll do it." Naruto asserted and Sasuke nodded with him.
"But…my patients…" Sakura argued.
"There are many doctors." Sai noted.
"But…" The girl argued.
"Sakura! This is not the time for misplaced pride!" Sasuke said firmly.
"I…I just. Six months is a long time." Sakura whispered miserably.
"Further, Sakura, you will have to spend significant time meditating and trying to encourage energetic balance within your body. The life of your baby might depend upon the control you can achieve over your own energy. As far as I can surmise, rest and relaxation is really the best approach to a problem of this kind."
"How can we help?" Naruto asked, hopefully.
"Naruto, any kind of stress will make the problem worse, so it is vital that Sakura remain calm. Try to make her environment as…unchallenging as possible." Tsunade recommended.
"I can do that! She'll be fine! I will make everything super nice and quiet and relaxing! Just like a vacation! Believe it!" He replied exuberantly, smiling so wide that his lip split and began bleeding again. Sakura groaned.
"I'm sure…" Tsunade said, eyeing them dubiously.
"I will make sure that no one disturbs her." Sasuke added darkly.
"That would be best." Tsunade agreed, tentatively.
"Great! No problem! Let's go home and start relaxing!" Naruto proclaimed, standing and gesturing enthusiastically to Sasuke.
"Relaxing is not something you 'start', idiot." Sasuke replied.
"Whatever. We'll go home and be calm and everything will be fine!" Naruto announced.
"Sai's coming with us." Sakura said, softly.
Tsunade raised an eyebrow at that, but Naruto did not seem to have heard her. Sai turned to look at the girl as if he, too, had not quite heard her. Being still half deaf from the explosion, Tsunade was sure Naruto was having trouble hearing anything at all. The blond was pacing excitedly, obviously eager to leave the hospital and begin Sakura's…er…vacation. The Hokage sat back just in case.
"Sasuke can make dinner tonight. He actually cooks pretty well, if you can get over all the damn vegetables. Vegetables aren't really relaxing food if you ask me, maybe we should get ramen…" Naruto chattered excitedly.
"Sai. I want him…to…to be with us." Sakura said more loudly, blushing hard.
"In what capacity, exactly?" Sasuke hissed suspiciously.
"We can also watch relaxing television and read relaxing books! Kakashi sensei swears by Icha Icha, but I'm not sure if those are really all that relaxing when you think about it…" Naruto continued.
"I want Naruto to take him as a subordinate." Sakura explained.
"You want WHAT!" Sasuke shouted.
"I do realize that being a subordinate involves sex." Sai noted.
"Maybe we could go to a hot spring for a few days. Hot springs are really relaxing, though we'll have to go to one that doesn't require separate bathing areas. Sasuke really doesn't like being too far away from Sakura for too long…"
"Naruto! Dammit!" Sakura shouted.
"What?" The jinchuuriki asked, finally hearing her.
"Sai…" Sakura took a breath, "Sai is in love with us!"
Tsunade was tempted to drop a pin just to see if the old adage was actually accurate. No one spoke, no one even seemed to breathe. Naruto stared, first at Sakura and then at Sai, cocking his head. Sasuke, however, stood and glared at Sai as if restraining himself from imminent murder.
"No." The dark haired ninja growled.
"He is an excellent ninja, he…he will be an asset. He should be with us." The girl said, her voice trembling just a little.
"You can't just dig people out of the psychiatric ward and then decide you want to marry them!" Sasuke shouted.
"Marry?" Sai asked.
"He's only in the psyche ward to begin with because of his feelings…" Sakura argued.
"Sasuke, calm down." Naruto growled.
"He doesn't HAVE feelings!" Sasuke snarled.
"He DOES! He feels EVERYTHING!" Sakura roared.
"I'm not sleeping with that…that…!" Sasuke struggled for an appropriate insult.
"Teme! Stop shouting. We HAVE to stay calm or Sakura will only get sicker." Naruto ordered firmly.
"Fine. Tell her that she's crazy and we can go home." Sasuke snapped.
"Home…?" Sai whispered, almost to himself.
"When I said 'calm', this is not what I meant." Tsunade said, her voice heavy with disapproval.
"I'm calm." Sai said.
"I thought it might be something like this. You have been pretty weird lately and when I saw all those drawings…I wondered." Naruto said softly, looking at Sai critically.
"Nice of you to tell us." Sasuke hissed.
"Baka! I wasn't sure!" Naruto argued.
"Sai wants to be with us!" Sakura asserted.
"What if we don't want to be with him." Sasuke growled.
"Why don't you ask Sai, himself." Tsunade suggested, rubbing at her headache.
Naruto, who had been staring at Sai as if trying to read the artist's mind, bit his lip and then nodded. Sasuke, teeth bared and practically shaking with fury, turned the bloody whirl of his sharingan on Sai. The pale ninja smiled his fake, pleasant smile, but his hands trembled nonetheless. Sakura smiled encouragingly at him, resting her hand kindly on Sai's shoulder.
"I have come to believe that I am in love with you. All of you. Well, not Hokage-sama." He confessed.
"What if you're wrong." Sasuke snapped cruelly.
"Then I am dying. Either way, I want to stay with you, if I may."
"No."
"This is not your decision, Sasuke…" Naruto whispered.
"Idiot! You can't seriously be considering…"
"…It's Sakura's choice." Naruto asserted.
"WHAT!"
"I won't do anything to make her unhappy. Not now, now when…It is her choice." Naruto said, crossing his arms.
"Tsunade said 'calm', not happy! Are you even attracted to him?" Sasuke snapped.
"I…never really thought of him that way before, actually." Naruto replied, blushing hotly.
"Well, I'm NOT!" Sasuke railed.
"You barely know him…"
"I don't WANT to know him!"
"Sai, do you want to come home with us?" Sakura asked gently.
"I…I have never had a home." He whispered.
"Well, except for Sakura, we are all orphans. It's the first home any of us have had." Naruto said, smiling kindly.
"Yes. I want that. I have wanted that very much." Sai whispered, smiling hesitantly.
"You can't be serious!" Sasuke railed.
"Quiet, Uchiha. I believe he is completely serious." Tsunade said.
"I don't care what you believe." Sasuke snarled at her.
"Sai, you have to realize that this won't be like it was before, when we were just a team. Being in love is more than just a feeling, it is a promise that you make. We are a family now, and that means absolute loyalty…" Naruto cautioned.
"I understand." Sai said, nodding somberly.
"Your loyalty can't be just to Root anymore. We have to come first, that is what being part of a family is all about. Can you do that?" Sakura said seriously.
"Root is gone and they left nothing behind. I do not owe Root my loyalty any longer and…you made me wonder if they ever deserved it at all. I am yours, Naruto, if you will have me." Sai stood and bowed deeply.
"It's settled then." Sakura said, smiling, hands on her hips.
"Come on, let's go home. Teme is cooking." Naruto said, smiling so that his eyes squinted entirely shut.
"Fuck you." Sasuke hissed, but turned to follow them anyway.
Tsunade chuckled. Apparently she would have to go find Sai's marriage contract, though only Kami knew where it might be. Root had held the marriage contracts for all of it members, in essence owning them and any children they might produce. The practice was one of the many things she had loathed about Danzo's group, but with Root disbanded and Danzo dead Sai now belonged to her, whether she found the paperwork or not. The Hokage laughed out loud at that and wondered if Naruto would steal all his subordinates from her. As for keeping Sakura calm and relaxed, Tsunade wondered if active duty might not have been the better choice after all.